Monday, May 31, 2021

Hell Fire, Hookers vs The Anti-Christ

Disgusting. Over-the-top. Heretical. Gory. Erotic. No redeeming qualities.  Hooked yet?  Well, the hookers in this film will hook you in, no doubt.  They'll use sex appeal, nail guns, power drills, machetes, pistols, and stilettos.  This will be a hard film to tell your friends about but when the end titles roll you will be yelling, "Wow!"  Or maybe, "Yes!"  Or maybe, "More!"  2015's "Hell Fire," directed by Mark Fratto may be one of those masterpieces you have never heard about.  

A bunch of hookers, dressed in stilettos and hooker outfits, raid a brothel to rip off their pimp.  Okay, I admit, who among us has never done that...sure, I get it. They go in guns a blazing and murder most of the whores, pimps, and drug dealers.  Poor, beautiful Cinnamon (Kasey Williams), she takes a round in the gut.  The hookers retreat with no money but with a hostage they believe has the cash, the Anti-Christ (J. Scott Green).  They don't immediately know he is the devil's son and lead hooker Rosetta (Selena Beretta) will begin torturing him with a power drill.  The anti-Christ begins messing with the hookers brains.  Justine (Koko Marshall) emerges as a babe who leads the fight against the anti-Christ.

The hookers turn on each other.  The anti-Christ even turns some into demons.  Cat-fights ensue...vicious cat-fights.  Fingers will be bitten off, axes will be secured in foreheads,  and Cinnamon, oh yeah, she's still alive, will gut herself...and still be alive.  The anti-Christ has a plan and possesses some of the hookers to carry it out.  Justine over hears the anti-Christ make a deal with Rosetta. Now Rosetta is in cahoots with Satan's spawn.  Pre-marital sex will seal the deal.  Justine, with her tight party dress and stilettos, will be pummeled, slapped, stabbed, and...well, you'll see, as she attempts to stop the anti-Christ from defeating God.  You'll be able to smell the estrogen and cheap perfume as the goriest cat-fights you have ever seen play out on your screen.

Will Justine be able to stop the anti-Christ from conquering the world?  What is in this for Rosetta?  Do we need more cat-fight filled thrillers with a lot of guts, decapitations, and disembowelment? Yes we do!  See "Hell Fire," and be ready to cheer.  You may not be able to tell your friends you saw and enjoyed this film, but those same friends would have you watch a Cate Blanchett movie.  See "Hell Fire," and in a very secret way, give your hoity toity buddies the middle finger.

Saturday, May 29, 2021

Rest in Pieces, Euro-Trash from Spain

There is no hard definition of "Euro-Trash." The logic the blowhards of the U.S. Supreme Court put forth in a 1970s pornography case applies here.  We can't define it...but we know it when we see it. 1987's Spanish horror film "Rest in Pieces" is Euro-Trash. Why? Because the staple of this film, the sultry blonde actress Loren Jean Vail, runs around in much peril while topless through most of the film. She jiggles a lot while surrounded by wooden characters.  Today we look at this film, directed by Jose Ramon Larraz.

Tennis pro Bob (Scott Thompson Baker) accompanies his sultry wife Helen (Vail) to Spain where she has inherited her Aunt Catherine's (Dorothy Malone) estate.  It is a sprawling estate with Catherine's millions buried somewhere on it.  Uh oh...tenants...all weird.  Yep, some weird tenants occupy the houses on the estate and they don't want to leave.  The hauntings first a nude. wet, and shiny Helen will have an encounter with her dead aunt while taking a bath.  Then she keeps seeing her aunt watching her. That night, her aunt lures her into the garage where she tries to kill her again.  Now the tenants show their mettle. They hire a pompous stringed quartet to perform. After the performance, the tenants butcher the four musicians, cut up their bodies, and eat them.

The tenants are led by Dr, Anderson (Jeffrey Segal) and  a weird reverend.  Oh yes, there is also a seductress...a kinky maid named Lisa (Carole James) who tries to seduce Bob.  The tenants will murder again and try to bring Catherine back from the dead.  Uh oh...Lisa finds out that all these tenants apparently died a few years ago in an insane asylum and Anderson was their treating physician.  Uh oh again...Catherine was institutionalized at the same asylum.  Now the living dead tenants reveal their plans for Helen.

Just what do the weird tenants want to do with Helen? What happened at the aforementioned looney bin a few years back that spelled the death of these tenants?  Will Bob and Helen ever figure out that they should get back to the airport and take a flight back to L.A.? This is a gory one featuring a lot of nudity by the stunning Ms. Vail.  For a vicious ghost story with gratuitous nudity, see "Rest in Pieces."

Thursday, May 27, 2021

Fox Force, Rape Revenge Mess

You've seen these films before. They have "this won't turn out well" written all over them. Five sultry Australian beauties all have a gripe and seek revenge. Gripe may be an understatement. We all know what happens when non-criminals come up with the "perfect" criminal plot. Yep, it never goes the way it's supposed to. Those who looked like geniuses yesterday turn into bumbling fools. Pity...because the babes who dabble in a plot of revenge do have good reasons for doing it. From 2009, "Fox Force," aka "Tomboys," (directed by Nathan Hill) is our feature today.

The beautiful and quite irate Kat (Candice Day) leads four of her friends into a remote barn. Naomi (Naomi Davis) seems to be her primary comrade in arms. The babes drag in with them a sack of s*** named Kyle (Daniel Rankin). Kyle raped Kat. We'll hear details of the rape later, but it was vicious. Emily (Sash Milne), Imogen (Allie Hall), and Crystal (Sarah Hill) are also present. Kyle was abducted by the femme gang of rape victims. Kyle has a sack over his head. He's been bloodied and overpowered. The gals string him up and castrate him. Uh oh...he bleeds out and dies. Uh oh again...when the sack is removed from his head...we see they grabbed the wrong guy!

Time to give up? Imogen wants to. Not Kat, who is the alpha here. The gals then go abduct the real Kyle. Kyle is unrepentant and tells Kat she had it coming. This isn't a good move as Kat and her buddies have torture tools with them. As the will of the group weakens now that blood has been shed, Kat must keep them together and focused on the original goal which was...well, they don't seem too sure of this. Kill him? Castrate him? Yell at him? Torture him? Crystal comes forward as a psycho babe, even making Kat wince. Forces come into play that ensure whatever the gals do to Kyle, their fate won't be the happiest.

This is a hard one to watch. Kat is so brutal, we have a hard time sympathizing with her, even though we know we should. The group cohesiveness deteriorates and now Kat may be isolated by her comrades. Will Kat and her gang survive the carnage? What form of revenge will Kyle be subject to? Is it possible for a film to turn rape victims into the villains? The answers may surprise and shock you. For a bitter, angry, and brutal rape/revenge film (as if there are irreverent and feel-good ones), see "Fox Force."  

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

Four, Another Perfect Plan

Yep...a fool proof plan. We all know what happens when a schmuck comes up with the perfect plan. We've seen this in movies...high work...etc... Everyone looks in the mirror and believes a genius is staring back at them. In reality, large portions of the population are incredibly stupid or insane. Besides, even if your plan is perfect, you will have to interact with the stupid and insane and they will have to act as you predicted they would. Hence 2011's "Four."
A business man...we will call him husband (Craig Conway). He's ticked and of course no one screws with him. He hires a thug/private detective (Sean Pertwee). The perfect plan? Detective will kidnap wife's lover (Martin Compston), deliver him to an abandoned warehouse so husband can torture him a little, scare him, and send him off never to see wife again. What could go wrong? When your detective keeps raving about the film "Reservoir Dogs," well, he probably doesn't have the temperament to execute the perfect plan. Part one goes well (apparently), as lover is brought to the warehouse. Uh oh...detective is all into torture but husband begins to lose his nerve.
Then the big uh oh...acting on his own, detective took the liberty to abduct the wife. Now sitting in another area of the warehouse, tied up, is the wife. As lover is indeed scared to stop fooling around, an angry husband goes to see wife (Kierston Wareing). Then what happens is so magnificent and classic. No spoilers here but Kierston Wareing is wonderful. Wife has a few surprises for all involved. Even though she is tied up the woman takes over and manipulates well. This won't devolve into torture porn but a neat psychological cat-and-mouse contest. Another point brought out by this film, you may think you know what scares people and what their reactions will be to your 'brilliance,' but in haven't a clue.
Exactly how does the sultry wife turn the tables on her tormentors? Though murder wasn't part of the original plan, will this strategy be adjusted? Sean Pertwee usually dies in his films (the male version of Kelly Hu), but will he survive the conniving wife he just abducted? This is a fun one and may remind some of "Deathtrap," though the surprise at the end of this film is of a different nature. Enjoy "Four," a neat psychological thriller directed by John Langridge.

Sunday, May 23, 2021

Blood Trap, Junkie Vampire vs. The Stupid

Fool proof plan. Easy! In and out and no heavy lifting. Yep...the stupid always have a fool proof plan. Society may try to prop up the stupid but Darwinism suggests it won't work. Throw in a vampire babe addicted to heroin and so much more than a stupid plan can go south fast. Today we take a look at 2015's "Blood Trap" (aka "Bite"). Filmed in Rome and sporting some nice cheese and beef, and a lot of gore and shocking moments, this quirky vampire tale was directed by Alberto Sciamma.
Roman (Costas Mandylor) puts a gang of idots together for an easy score. The plan? Easy in and easy out. They will invade a mansion and abduct Nika (Elena Mirela) and hold her for $40 million ransom. They get in... We first meet our heroin addict Nika taking a bath. She'll be yanked out of the tub by our idiots and placed in a garment bag. Uh oh...sunrise approaches and all the doors and windows shut and way in or out...and no sunlight. Nika isn't helpful to the gang which include John (Vinnie Jones), two lesbian beauties (Grazia Leone and Denny Mendez), a psycho Alec (Drew Kenney) and 2nd in command Boria (Gianni Capaldi). They work Nika over in the garment bag and then realize she escaped and in fact...they pummeled one of their own babes. Now Nika searches for heroin. John is the first casualty and now the gang is furious.
Nika, as it turns out is a vampire with a bad addiction. Roman tries to blow up the front no avail. Now Nika hunts her would be abductors. One of the babes, Zita (Leone) is going down hill fast as Nika has bitten her. The kills will be gory and Alec will discover a shocking surprise. Hidden away in a room off Nika's master bedroom is...well, you'll see. The shocking surprise is also a dangerous hurdle for our idiotic gang. More gory surprises are discovered and gory fates begin whittling down the gang.
Does our over matched gang stand a chance of seeing sunlight again? What surprise does Alec discover and why will it provide a scene right out of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"? Is heroin addiction a bigger killer to vampires than opiods or sunlight? This is a quirky one and will remind you of a Guy Ritchie film. For a fast paced shocker with allure and gore, enjoy "Blood Trap."

Friday, May 21, 2021

Brain Damage, Slimy Addiction Monster

Slimy and deadly. Perhaps those two words describe addiction well. The monsters we become when our brains are stimulated by unnatural or alien invasion...horrific. 1988's "Brain Damage," directed by Frank Henenlotter, is by some described as a comedy/horror film. Wrong! It is gory and sad, and in great details shows us a fatal trip in which brains will be sucked out. Okay, perhaps a metaphor many of us can relate to apart from addiction and horror films...still, this is wonderful 1980s horror.
An elderly couple, Morris (Theo Barnes) and Martha (Lucille Saint-Peter) are guardian to a small brain creature that feeds off brains. The couple feed it cow brains but the slimy critter, Aylmer, wants a higher class menu...human brains. Uh oh again, as a reward for taking good care of it, Aylmer injects its guardians with narcotic that produces euphoria. Seeking a culinary improvement, Aylmer slides down to Brian's (Rick Hearst) apartment and burrows inside of him. Initially Brian is sick but when Aylmer introduces himself he shoves his stinger into Brian's brain and shoots him with a narcotic. Brian is happy now. Now Brian starts ignoring his pretty girlfriend, Barbara (Jennifer Lowry) and goes out on the town with Aylmer. Aylmer directs Brian to humans and Aylmer shoots into their heads and eats their brains.
Brian is initially horrified that he has a monster inside him that feeds off human brains. He will get momentarily brave and refuse to take the creature hunting anymore. Aylmer will then starve Brian of its magic narcotic and Brian will go through a vicious withdrawal. Now Brian knows he is powerless to refuse Aylmer. As Brian continues spiraling downward, Aylmer feeds on the beautiful and ugly. Barbara is in the dark about what is really happening to her Brian and she will make a play to get him back. Uh oh, Aylmer seems fond of her too and it is getting hungry at a faster rate.
Will the nubile Barbara succumb to the brain creature that lives inside Brian? Given what you see on television, the news, and in your own neighborhoods, can we really still say 'a brain is a terrible thing to waste'? Does Brian have enough humanity still inside him to fight the creature? Gory and vicious, "Brain Damage" is a tale with a noble moral...however sad and dark it unfolds.

Wednesday, May 19, 2021

Night of the Blood Beast, Astronaut Infested With Alien Spawn

From Executive Producer Roger Corman, we have a neat science fiction film from 1958. In 1958 the Soviets were cleaning America's clock in space exploration. As paranoia sunk in, the U.S. struggled to get off the ground. Kind of like today. In this film, the U.S. launches a manned rocket with dreadful results. However dreadful, a lot less dreadful than the NASA shuttle program. With square-jawed hunks, nubile and screaming damsels, and a rubber suited monster, we have "Night of the Blood Beast," directed by Bernard L. Kowalski.

Major John Corcoran takes a rocket into space for no specific purpose (a foretelling of NASA's shuttle program, perhaps?). Something goes wrong and it crash lands in the Florida swamps. He's dead...well, maybe. A rescue crew with Dave (Ed Nelson), a square-jawed hunk, and photographer Donna (Georgianna Carter) get there and find a huge hole in the ship and John's corpse. John's fiancĂ©, Dr. Julie Benson (Angela Greene) is on her way and is sad. So is Dr. Wyman (Tyler McVey). Wyman, ever the counselor, reminds Julie that John volunteered for this and it was all part of the job. Julie feels better.  

They get John's corpse back to an isolated base. Dr. Wyman realizes the corpse is not decomposing and John still has a blood pressure. Uh oh...blood samples show alien cells inside John's supposed corpse. Uh oh, again...a hulking rubber suited fiend begins attacking the base and rips Wyman's head off. Donna will scream a lot, and Steve (John Baer) will take command...he'll be useless. All power is cut off by a mysterious magnetic field and our science team is stuck. Oh no! John is awake. He has aliens growing inside him and the fiend needs to nourish its young. John is insistent about communicating with the thing but everyone else wants to kill it. John will hone his diplomatic skills as his comrades make Molotov cocktails.

Is this film a foretelling about NASA's space program which went aimlessly toward the now defunct SDI program and now discredited global warming science? Will the fiend in the rubber suit try to make a play for Donna and give her a real purpose in this film? NASA says we will be on the moon again in assured we won't. At least the failed mission in this film makes an entertaining movie. For a good time and a great utilization of 1950s B-movie staples, see "Night of the Blood Beast."

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Sister Mary's Halfway House, Halfway to Death... make a few mistakes...maybe fire a weapon...or punch some drunk at a bar...or the typical one to two years for breaking and entering...and you are pretty much screwed.  Still the joint is over crowded so an early parole (as long as you haven't shimmed a guard) is probable.  Once on the outside again we have the freedom to try what got us in the slammer the first time...but this time do it right.  No DNA mistakes.  Pity!  Karma just isn't with released felons.  Hence, today we take a look at a neat 33 minute film by Juan Diaz, "Sister Mary's Halfway House."

He's out!  After 10 years up the river.  Jon (Juan Diaz) is sent to a halfway house run by a prudish and no nonsense nun, Sister Mary (Jen Diaz).  She has a few rules which he'll break.  Uh oh...worried so much about his next big score, Jon is slow on the uptake to realize some strange kimchi is taking place in the place.  A loose eyeball in his breakfast sandwich doesn't jolt Jon.  This may not be anything too outlandish after eating prison food for a decade.  Then the monster appears.  It's ghastly and ghoulish.  Hints of Satanic rites seem to motivate it.

Jon has been gone for a long time and erotic dreams also plague him.  The dreams get more monstrous and Jon appears to be changing just a'll see.  The day of his next big score is coming soon.  Sister Mary is watching him closely...but why?  As the monster seems to have plans for Jon, it is apparent the cops aren't what he has to worry about.

Fans of Juan Diaz films will love this study of a newly released felon unable to go clean.  Perhaps a metaphor for the emptiness the world has to offer a man needing a second (or a fifth) chance, this film has erotic shower scenes, disgusting bathroom scenes, slimy monster scenes, and naked babes (and their posteriors) in mortal danger.  What lurks in Sister Mary's Halfway House and what does it want with Jon?  Is Sister Mary in danger, too...or is she in cahoots with the green monster?  Are eyeballs in sandwiches and erotic-minded green monsters a better incentive to stay straight when released from prison than hopes of landing a dishwashing job?  "Sister Mary's Halfway House" is a neat horror film with humor, gore, a monster, a weird nun, and a pathetic and seemingly doomed protagonist.

To view SISTER MARY'S HALFWAY HOUSE on YouTube, click this link SISTER MARY

Monday, May 17, 2021

Fang, Werewolves in the Family

We all have relatives we haven't seen in years.  Let us not forget, before going to visit, that there is a reason we haven't seen them in years.  Partners in a bloodline doesn't always make for compatibility.  Today we have a blood wrenching story featuring a pretty babe, her scrawny boyfriend, drug dealers, werewolves, and buckets of blood and ripped off body parts.  Let us take a look at 2018's "Fang," directed by Adam R. Steigert.

Babe Chloe (Melodie Roehrig) and her boyfriend, Joe (Theo Kemp) are junkies needing a fix.  They murder a motorist for cash and now are on the run.  Chloe has an uncle and aunt living in the country and figures they'll go hide out there.  She hasn't seen these relatives in years.  On the way they help two stranded motorists...the hunk Chris (Jason John Beebe) and babe Shelly (Jennie Russo).  Now four head to the mysterious country estate.  They are welcomed in by weird caretaker, Harold (Gregory Blair).  At sundown Uncle Roy (Patrick Mallette) and Aunt Doris (Melantha Blackthorne) appear.  These two are weird.

The bloody carnage starts immediately.  After a revolting dinner of human body innards...the four guests realize they are locked in the house.  Doris changes into a werewolf and begins shredding the guests.  Now, very bloodied, the guests are on the run.  Uh oh...Eric (Christopher Burns, Jr.) is found chained in the basement.  He's being fattened up by Doris by being forced to eat other humans.  The nubile and scantily clad Shelly will have her slinky white gown stained blood red.  Chloe, still looking radiant, has a plan for escape and figures out silver bullets may be the way to go.  As Joe continues being useless, Chloe acts and the bloody conclusion will surely please.

If the nubile Chloe survives this mess, will she dump the useless Joe and find a hunk with earning power?  Do we all have werewolves in our least in a figurative sense?  Will there be a sequel based on another uncle and aunt who are vampires?  Bloody and filled with cheesecake and beefcake, "Fang" is a very low budget jewel...a ruby red jewel.      

Saturday, May 15, 2021

Death Factory, Tiffany Shepis as a Metal Toothed Monster

Tiffany Shepis is a favorite of mine.  This great horror film actress has died a million horrible deaths in these movies.  Today she will inflict bloody death with some menacing metal teeth and Freddy Kruger hands.  Internal organs will fly and many hunks and babes will die horribly.  Today we look at 2002's "Death Factory," directed by Brad Sykes.

Babe Alyson (Allison Beal) and hunk Josh (Michale Okarma) will die horribly while engaging in pre-marital sex in an old abandoned factory.  Now three college babes and three college hunks have a brilliant idea. Bad girl Louisa (Karla Zamudio) suggests a party at the old factory.  Her bestie Rachel (Lisa Jay) hesitantly agrees when she finds out her soon to be boyfriend, Derek (Jeff Ryan) will attend.  Also attending is bad boy Troy (Jason Flowers) and the very amorous pair, Francis (David Kalamus) and Letitia (Rhonda Jordan).  They bring beer, tunes, and their libidos.

 Uh oh...a monster is living there.  The monster, Alexa (Shepis), has metal teeth and she likes to gut and disembowel with her knife hands.  Her kills are elongated and often end with her eating the neck of her victims.  The pre-marital sex gets underway and the men will make their women scream in agony.  The once shy Rachel allows Derek to get to third base as Alexa starts disemboweling these kids.  Oh yes...Alexa?  Well, the backstory is a good one and will set up a nice twist.  Nakedness and gore will rule the day as we wonder if any of these great looking peeps will survive the blood wrath of Alexa.

Just what is Alexa's story?  Will Derek have what it takes to steal home with Rachel?  Has anyone ever survived after having deviant pre-marital sex in a mysteriously placed bed in an abandoned factory?  Tiffany Shepis is horrifying as the mutant and twisted monster.  The kills are detailed and go on for so long.  For some great blood soaked cheesecake and beefcake, see "Death Factory." 

Thursday, May 13, 2021

Lake of Dracula, Vampire Besets Sisters

He did get around...Count Dracula, that is.  In a Michio Yamamoto trilogy, Dracula invades Japan. 1971's "Lake of Dracula" is his first film in the trilogy. All the films will have beset Japanese babes, many not faring well.  All three films boast of wild endings with a lot of blood, screaming, and nubile damsels in much peril. 

Akiko (Midori Fujita) and her sister Natsuko (Sanae Emi) are a beautiful pair of sisters who reside near a resort lake. Akiki is haunted by a dream from a childhood that has inspired her to paint a horrific picture of a madman with evil yellow eyes. All is not dreadful for Akiko, she has a hunk boyfriend, a doctor. Dr. Takashi (Chuei Takahashi) adores Akiko. Her sister Natsuko is trying to get him to ask Akiko to marry him. Uh oh...a mysterious crate is delivered to the caretaker of the resort. Yep, it is a coffin with you know who in it. Now beautiful women start turning up almost dead with fang marks on their neck. Uh oh, Natsuko is acting strange...and soon she will also grow fangs.

Natsuko isn't the vampire's first choice...Akiko is. Natsuko helps the toothy menace capture Akiko. Not so fast, Takashi, who has treated blood drained babes at the hospital, figures out what is going on. He rushes in to save the nubile Akiko. With Akiko in mortal danger, Takashi hypnotizes Akiko so she will remember the horrible childhood dream that inspired her macabre painting. Takashi better hurry, Natsuko has just drained a pretty nurse in white of her blood. Now Akiko's repressed memory will lead her and Takashi to the hidden mansion where the vampire and Natsuko await.

The ending is wild and loud...and the nubile damsels are quite sultry. For you ladies, Takashi and the vampire are quite buff, and will be pleasing to your eyes. Will the beautiful nurse in white also turn into a vampire? Will Natsuko bite her sister, or will the mysterious kin of Dracula save her for himself? Will Dracula entertain the possibility of a threesome with sisters? This is a good one and Hammer Studios would have been proud. For an action and blood packed vampire film, see "Lake of Dracula."

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

Happy Hell Night, Frat Boys and Sorority Gals Shredded

You'll never guess! A slasher film from the 1980s focusing on hunk frat boys and sultry sorority dames! Who would've thunk it!  Throw in some paranormal satanic rites, a psycho Satanist priest, pickaxe murders, severed limbs, and all sorts of other gore.  Oh yes...a dominatrix (Gala Videnovic) and sultry foreign exchange student,  and pre-marital sex will also dot the landscape on 1982's "Happy Hell Night," directed by Brian Owens.

A fraternity prank many years ago revives a demon who occupies a priest, Father Malius (Charles Cragin).  Many years later the same fraternity is trying to win the "Best Prank" award.  They will recreate the prank by sending two pledges, Ralph (Jeffrey Miller) and Sonny (Frankie Hughes) to infiltrate the asylum and see Malius. Oh! Sonny is banging Liz (Laura Carney).  See, Liz is Eric's GF (Nick Gregory). Plus, Sonny is Eric's younger brother. Eric is the fraternity president.  Big party for Hell Night.  Many sultry sorority chicks are on their way for pre-marital sex.  All of them will be chopped up before they can deliver a second line (this includes Jorja Fox).

The asylum prank doesn't go well.  This causes the escape of Malius and the murder of a very pretty nurse in white (Lisa Rankin).  Now Malius is loose and he does not approve of fornicating, television, or pre-marital sex.  His trusty pickaxe will drive his points home and many beautiful coeds and their brute boyfriends will learn their lessons the hard way.  Now Darren McGavin shows up...he is the dad of Eric and Sonny...he won't be much help.  Liz now takes charge, since she knows Latin and can recite some ancient incantations.  Still, Liz is a fornicator and Malius is quite aware of this.

Will Liz and all her sins be able to end Malius' evil torment with a few Latin words?  After screwing both brothers, will Liz seduce Darren McGavin...or does even she have limits?  Is Malius' prudishness something that today's American university system could use a little more of?  Gore, nudity, and deviant sexual practices highlight this 1980s slasher film.  For some great times reminiscent of your 1980s movie going experiences, see "Happy Hell Night."    

Sunday, May 9, 2021

8989 Redstone, When HGTV Goes Paranormal

So sad...the beautiful die so horribly...even in real life. Sultry actress Jen Oda. Related to a real Japanese Shogun, Ms. Oda was felled by her husband in a murder/suicide as she planned a divorce. In today's feature, Ms. Oda plays a producer for an HGTV type renovation/flip show. She'll be beset by evil spirits in an old Detroit mansion as the entity becomes homicidal. As the HGTV offerings get increasingly boring (bring back "Fixer Upper!"), perhaps 2016's "8989 Redstone" offers the network clues on how to put some spice back in their program line-up. Directed by Jay Chapman, this horror yarn can boast of much gore and some impressive cheese.

Mastering Disaster is a reno/flip show hosted by Darryl (Eric Allan Kramer) and his slutty daughter, Rebecca (Lindsay Bushman). The show is produced by the very promiscuous Jo (Oda), who loves pre-marital sex with the crew. This show will feature an old Detroit mansion. Weird stuff begins happening from the outset and the nubile and scantily clad Rebecca begins having weird hallucinations. Rebecca seems to get drawn into the paranormal elements of the house and begins having awful nosebleeds. Darryl has problems keeping crew members including his contractor. They are all getting spooked.  He'll even bring in Buddhist monks to do an exorcism...which won't go well.

As a ghostly presence gets violent and dispenses more crew in a very gory manor, Darryl believes Jo is responsible.  The show host believes Jo is trying to spice up the ratings by throwing in a haunted element to this renovation show. Uh oh...the ghost of the house's original owner (Robb Derringer) appears to Rebecca and when he does, the beauty goes into a deep trance.  Doors to nowhere appear, intestines appear, and a haunted mirror all are used for some classic chills. As Jo gets friskier, so does Rebecca...and the crew members are benefiting from that. Now the blood will flow more intensely, limbs will be chopped off, and Rebecca's underwear selection will get more deviant. 

Will any of the beauties in this film survive this vicious haunting? Would Chip and Joanna Gaines have known what to do if the electrical system was fried by a century old ghost? Just what is behind those doors to nowhere that mysteriously appear? This is a gory one and both Ms. Bushman and Ms. Oda turn in alluring and energetic performances.  For a good time when the HGTV offering fails to deliver, see "8989 Redstone."

Friday, May 7, 2021

Trench 11, Icky World War 1 Parasites

War is gory enough without introducing huge parasitic worms that leak out of the orifices of soldiers. It is a wonder that the incompetence and dereliction of duty of President Woodrow Wilson hasn't led to more WWI horror yarns. World War 1 is not a popular subject, especially because World War 2 provides such great horror fodder. In WW1, the Germans were not yet Nazis and allied idiocy after the Germany's surrender may be said to have led to Hitler and his Nazis. So, keeping it light, we have a WW1 tale of icky parasitic worms. Today's feature is 2017's "Trench 11," directed by Leo Scherman.

Germany is on retreat and The Great War is ending.  The Brits discover a huge trench with a massive tunnel system well behind enemy lines.  Of course Major Jennings (Ted Atherton) knows what the place is...though he isn't letting on.  We find out through German mad scientist, Reiner (Robert Stadlober). Jennings leads an allied team to the trench...and Reiner also heads back to it. The Germans want it destroyed before the allies find it.  The allies want the evil experiments within the trench. Recruited to guide the mission is Lt. Burton (Rossif Sutherland), a capable tunneller. The allies get there first and meet German test subjects...quite violent and quite grotesque.  The test subjects are hard to kill and infect or murder most of allies.

Now Reiner and his Germans arrive.  They get the upper hand on the allies...then the infected get the upper hand on the non-infected.  This will result in much gore as faces are chewed off and icky worms slither out of orifices.  Both sides now need Burton to get them out of the now collapsed trench.  Reiner still clings to his torture methods and the worm infested infected are eager to chew off more faces.  Here is the problem...if anyone leaves alive, the infection could spread throughout France. With madness and infection ruling the day, 'getting out' may not be an option. Still, Burton has reason to'll see.

Are the icky worms a metaphor for President Woodrow Wilson's lack of competence and dementia which may have prolonged a war born out of mistakes and evil intentions?  Will Burton stay un-infected and escape the claustrophobic Hell that is trench warfare?  What did the Brits intend to do with the infection and the worms if they were able to get there first and steal it?  Gory and claustrophobic, "Trench 11" is a perfect film to reinforce the uselessness and folly of modern day war. 

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Trailer Park of Terror, Disembowelment Redneck Style

University professors, writers of dull fiction, and brilliant scientists are as relatable to us as monster worms from outer space.  On occasion it is nice to see a trailer park slut...or maybe other rednecks plying their trades. Sometimes it is nice to see a demolition derby instead of an opera...or eat beef jerky rather than anything organic... or watch a snuff film being made than the 'the making of' section of a superhero DVD. Today we delve into 2008's "Trailer Park of Terror," directed by Steven Goldmann.

Norma (Nichole Hiltz) is a sultry trailer park slut.  She desires to meet a man from the other side of the tracks and leave the park to start her own life.  The trailer park denizens are possessive of their beauty and impale her clean-cut date when he arrives.  Norma is furious and sad and flees her home. A few miles down the road she meets the devil (Trace Adkins).  She and him make an unholy deal and Norma returns to the park with a sawed-off shotgun and murders all the park residents.  She then kills herself. Now the deal...she is back as a she-demon and so are her trailer park antagonists. Now she rules over them for eternity. Enter Pastor Lewis (Matthew Del Negro) and several at-risk teens.  Their bus breaks down on a stormy night and they all must seek refuge at the haunted trailer park.

Norma meets and welcomes them. She is dressed for seduction and will eventually seduce Pastor Lewis...and then rip his head off.  China (Michelle Lee) also returns from the dead.  She was/is a homicidal Asian masseuse.  She'll also seduce and rip internal organs out of aroused at-risk teens.  Amber (Hayley Marie Norman) and Alex (Ryan Carnes) will quickly seek pre-marital sex and find themselves in a snuff production.  Yep, the kills will be quite gory and the ghost/demons of the trailer park denizens in their decomposing states will be very yummy. But wait...problem Goth Bridgit (Jeanette Brox) emerges as a teen with spunk and perhaps 'final girl' potential.  As her mates are sliced up for jerky, decapitated, disemboweled, or have their limbs sawed off...Bridgit survives bombs and traps and even survives a demolition derby to the death.  But will she survive to sunrise?

Will any of the at-risk teens survive the evil seduction or the mad butcher and escape the trailer park from Hell?  Is Norma cursed for all eternity to rule over the park she hated all throughout life? If the evil butcher made the teens into organic jerky, would the wine and brie crowd warm up to this film. For much gore and seduction (Ms. Hiltz is quite alluring), see "Trailer Park of Terror."  

Monday, May 3, 2021

Feast of Flesh, Love Slaves of the Demented

Today, from Argentina, we have a metaphor of the horrible carnage reeked on a once great nation by Evita Peron. 1967's "Feast of Flesh" (aka "Placer Sangriento") is our feature today. A country of beauty and art turned into a cesspool of socialism and poverty...Argentina under the Peron regime. This film has beach babes, frolicking in the surf and making out with beach hunks turned into the love slaves of a mad-scientist who may be a disfigured fiend. Directed by Emilio Vieyra, we have a film that has allure and many Tango-Babes in much peril. 

Some evil figure is injecting Argentinian beach babes with a drug and hypnotizing them with his spooky organ music. Hypnotizing to do what? The frolicking nubile damsels are then summoned to his abode where they get naked, make-out, swap a lot of spit, and probably have pre-marital sex with this monster. When a girl or two shows up dead, an internationally renown detective, Ernesto Lauria (Mauricio De Ferrarris) arrives to lead the investigation.  He'll immediately interview a babe-witness, Beba (Gloria Prat). They'll swap a lot of spit and she will spend the rest of the film seducing him.

Lauria's investigation takes him to a nightclub at the beach where all the abducted gals attended. The pianist, Silvio (Ricardo Bauleo) is quite the charmer and seems to be hiding a lot. The gals keep getting hypnotized and can't wait to rip their clothes off and be ravaged by the fiend. Lauria finds out that the weird organ music triggers the trances in the babes and comes up with a couple of investigative strategies. Now Beba is put in danger as she is the next in the cross-hairs of this mysterious phantom. 

Just who is this mysterious beach phantom? Can we blame him for putting beach babes in trances to get some make-out action? Were the trance-like minions of the Peron Era Argentina as compliant and amorous as the beach babes in this film? Dark, quirky, and jazzy, "Feast of Flesh" is a weird one you will want to see.

To see FEAST OF FLESH free on the Forgotten Horror YouTube channel, click this link Feast of Flesh


Saturday, May 1, 2021

Deep Red, Meat Cleavers and Euro-Babes

So sad! Sultry Euro-Babes prance onto the silver screen and are quickly taken apart. They do die well...and, in fact, are replaced by other equally as luscious Euro-Babes. Perhaps the 21st century war on beauty by the left is merely a fulfillment of the Giallo philosophy of if men are aroused by it...kill it. Today we look at a classic Giallo offering, 1975's "Deep Red," directed by Dario Argento. 

Alas, Helga (Macha Meril) will be the first casualty in this film. What a dish! The German telepathic/psychic has visions of a murder and sees the killer. This is bad news as witnesses tend not to fare well.  The blonde beauty will be felled by a meat cleaver. Bad news for the stud pianist Marc (David Hemmings)…he witnesses the murder. Now the killer is after him. Worse for Marc, babe reporterette, Gianna (Daria Nicolodi), puts Marc's photo on the front page of the newspaper and tells the world he saw and can ID the killer. Now Gianna wants to team up with Marc and solve the mystery.  Marc insists on working alone.  

The Giallo influence...let us chat about that. You remember one of the most famous American slasher kills ever put on film? Yes...Pamela Susan Shoop as a naughty nurse in "Halloween  2." In a gratuitous hot tub scene, Michael Myers seizes her and burns her pretty face off in scalding hot water. An original scene? No! The sultry Amanda (Giuliana Calandra) perishers in almost exactly the same fashion in this film shot six years previous. Unfortunately for Amanda, she had info that could help Marc identify the killer...bye bye Amanda! Marc is persistent and finds a weird village with a condemned house. The secret of the killer's identity is inside the walls of this house which also has a bloody secret.

Will the babe reporterette Gianna survive this film? Will 21st century feminist film classes claim the Euro-Babes in Giallo films deserved their gruesome fates?  If Gianna does survive, will she and Marc engage in pre-marital sex?  Sultry Euro-Babes and blood red murder scenes...Giallo at its best! For a vicious good time of gory kills and sultry dames in much peril, see "Deep Red."