Wednesday, May 31, 2023

Fear Chamber, Mexican-Babes Beset by Tentacles and Whipped

Sweaty Latin-babes chained up, stripped, whipped, tortured some more, aroused, and fed to a monster. Need I say more? A Giallo or HP Lovecraft presentation? No!  A neat Boris Karloff film made in Mexico.  Latin-babes must have loved Karloff...the sultry actresses lined up to be whipped, stripped, and violated with tentacles.  I know, who wouldn't?  We do live in a weird time.  One may see this film as an inspiration for Stuart Gordon's "From Beyond," and that is fair. Others will see it as a gratuitous vehicle to see frightened babes in bondage being whipped and violated. That's also fair. Today we have an Edgar Allan Poe story put to film in 1968's "Fear Chamber," directed by Jack Hill and Juan Ibanez.

The sultry Corinne (Julissa) and her colleague/BF Mark (Carlos East) venture deep into a volcano to discover a rock that gives off radio waves suggesting it is alive. The duo brings the rock up to Corinne's dad and head scientist Dr. Martell (Karloff). Martell realizes the rock is alive. Coincidentally, his lab is attached to a boarding house for Mexican babes.  Convenient.  His sultry assistant Helga (Isla Vega) recruits babes.  She will confine them to torture chambers, whip them, strip them, and allow the rock to violate them with tentacles.  Mark, Corinne, Helga, Martell, and a sundry of other lab creeps have been sort of possessed by the rock's intelligence.  The rock needs the pineal gland fluid of the women while they are sexually aroused and terrified.  That's what it eats.  Okay, so its lactose intolerant...we shouldn't judge.

The rock has sprouted tentacles that love to sexually harass babes...a metaphor for most men in western civilization.  Now the lab freaks are sent out to capture more babes.  Uh oh...the babes are now being killed by the rock, too.  The thing is getting hungrier.  As Martell, Corinne, and Mark seem to regain some of their humanity, the evil Helga is all on board for increasing the torture level...and the menu for her new buddy.  Now more babes are stripped, tortured, and violated.  Uh oh again, we see Corinne has been slated for dessert by Helga.  Martell thinks he has figured out a way to rid his lab of the monster and save his babe daughter...but it is a wild plan that probably won't work.

Will Corinne be spending a wedding night with Mark or the rock monster's tentacles?  Will the sultry Helga take over Martell's experiments, and if so, will the rock monster demand anything else from her? Are the tentacles sprouted by the rock monster a metaphor of the modern day reach the Cartels have over Mexico and its government?  See "Fear Chamber," and realize why Mexican babes are big Boris Karloff fans.

Monday, May 29, 2023

VampyrZ on a Boat, Love at First Sight and Fangs

I know this film will not get a lot of love...but it is a lot better than than the most recent 'Indiana Jones" monstrosity. Loops are not for everyone...but this one will provide a lot of imaginative gore, some nubile babes falling victim to vampires, and some terrific kills. Sure, we don't have a woke-checklist checked off...but that is caused for celebration.  Today we look at 2022's "VampyrZ on a Boat," directed by Mark Allen Michaels.

Deep in the bowels of an underground laboratory, the experiment gets out.  Now the experiment is transferred to a large research ship heading out to sea.  Del (Curt Lambert) heads security for the vessel and hires his buddy Max (Dallas Valdez) to provide the security.  Max is a retired CIA spook.  Max is hesitant about accepting the position until he sees Sara (Carrie Keagan).  He falls instantly in love with Sara...probably because she has great, she has a big smile. to sea.  Instantly Sara and Max have pre-marital sex...and the experiment on the boat gets loose.  The experiment?  A 1,000 year old vampire king (Kendall Wells) who never gets sick and is indestructible. The scientists hope to study the toothy creature so they can cure illness and death...always a good idea.

Sadly, Sara is bitten and taken by the vampire after it massacres much of the crew...limbs and internal organs everywhere.  Now Max and Del seek to rescue Sara...even though she is not the same Sara that just nailed Max.  Max is bitten several times and seemingly mortally wounded during these rescue attempts...but heals fast.  Even after being killed...he pops back to life.  Now the scientists on the vessel wonder why Max is not infected and why he does not die.  Meanwhile, the vampire king now has half the crew as his vampire slaves.  Max and Del plod through the ship seemingly eternally unsuccessful in their rescue attempts. Early on we see that Max and Del are reliving their initial rescue attempts, and each subsequent time, are able to correct the errors of the previous one.

Why doesn't Max get infected or stay dead?  Is Sara better off as the slave of the vampire king than with this CIA spook who may be a monster, himself?  What will happen if this vessel reaches land?  Quirky and gory, "VampyrZ on a Boat" is a good watch, especially on a Friday night monster movie night.  By the way...stay for the end credits...just saying.

Saturday, May 27, 2023

Casting Kill, Audition For Death

We look at a weird one today that might be better suited for a stage play.  Still, it is stylish and can boast of a great looking cast.  You think Harvey Weinstein was bad...well, see this film and realize the dirty old man may have gone easy on the actresses he preyed on.  Today we look at 2023's "Casting Kill," directed by James Smith.

Arthur Capstone (Rob Laird) is an imposter. He is masquerading as a casting agent trying to find actors and actresses for a major Hollywood production.  The seemingly refined, but slimy fiend lures young talent to his flat in the same neighborhood Jack the Ripper plied his trade.  Arthur is a killer...a perverted one with mommy issues.  He steals cash and credit cards, and then the identities, of the actors who come see him.  Oh yes...the lovely actresses.  Many times, the beast strangles them to death and cuts their toes off.  Arthur enjoys sucking on the severed toes.  Then the handsome and confident Dom (Jack Forsyth-Noble) shows up to audition.  He is not intimidated by the phony Arthur.  Then Ruby (Rachel Chima) arrives.  The babe is desperate for a role and when her money and card are stolen, she insists on Arthur returning them.

Now Dom and Ruby team up to figure out exactly what this casting agent is up to.  They discover some bizarre things about him.  After hours he dresses in drag and pretends to be a long deceased belle du jour actress.  They also bag his place and find the toes and jewelry belonging to actresses that have visited.  Watching out for one another, the pair arrange for call-backs and further snoop.  Now Arthur is aware these two present a danger to his operation.  He figures he must kill them.  Uh oh...Arthur's enemies are actually more substantial than these two great looking Thespians.  The ending will be ambitious and quirky.  Ruby and Dom make a sexy and likable pair. 

Will Dom and Ruby be able to end Arthur's reign of terror?  Will the duo be cast in a horror film if they survive?  Will Arthur demand anything more from the sultry Ruby other than reciting lines?  This is a fun one.  If Broadway was smart, instead of shoving the over-rated and over PC "Hamilton" down our throats, they'd put on "Casting Kill."  For a Masterpiece Theater type horror film, see "Casting Kill."   

Thursday, May 25, 2023

Stone Cold Dead, A Morality Sniper Mows Down Prostitutes

We just don't talk about Richard Crenna enough!  A fabulous actor than never mailed in a role. The gritty actor is a perfect choice to portray a hard-boiled homicide detective in New York City...and today we look at him playing this role.  In a shocking film from 1979, the beautiful will die quite horribly in some ghoulish scenes...and everyone in this film is guilty...of something.  Grimy, deviant, and ominous, today's feature is the uber violent "Stone Cold Dead," directed by George Mendeluk. 

A sniper is murdering ladies of the night in The Big Apple. As our film begins, the lovely Claudia (Jennifer Dale) is taken down in mid stride. Detective Boyd (Crenna) is on the case. This is the second killing...there will be more. He's quite connected with the night life in New York. He has a relationship, professional, with the bi-sexual beauty Monica (Linda Sorensen). Monica is a whore, too.  She also knows many of the victims. Monica does not want to help Boyd.  Boyd puts a lot of heat on a big pimp/dealer in town, Kurtz (Paul Williams). He controls most of the whores. Kurtz is in love with junkie/whore Bernice (Andree Cousineau).  Bernice is also a sometimes lover of Monica.  Yep...Bernice is taken down in mid stride...heartbreaking.

Needing help, Boyd calls in undercover cop/beauty Sandy (Belinda Montgomery). She is quite the babe. She'll get into catfights and even gain the confidence of Monica. In fact, Sandy will have more luck getting into bed with Monica than Boyd has.  Now we find out that Monica has a sultry daughter, Olivia (Alberta Watson). Olivia is a college student with a bright future...and perhaps a psycho boyfriend. Uh oh, Monica may be on the killer's list...and now Boyd finds out Olivia may be in mortal danger. Kurtz gets nasty and goes on a killing spree.  More danger...Sandy's cover is blown.  Boyd better catch the killer fast or everyone will die horribly.

The ending is a shocker...and just about every beautiful woman in this film will die horribly.  Will Boyd ever get in Monica's bed?  Will Sandy gloat and antagonize Boyd about getting into Monica's bed?  Why is Olivia, who is not a whore, in danger?  This is a vicious shocker with a tour-de-force performance by Richard Crenna.  For some gritty 1970s cop drama, see "Stone Cold Dead" and be ready for a high kill count.

Tuesday, May 23, 2023

Terror at London Bridge, Jack the Ripper and Adrienne Barbeau

Serial killers have always fascinated us.  Many times we are not careful enough to halt the fascination before it becomes admiration.  Throw in one from foggy old London who escaped capture and we have a man urban legends are made of.  Jack the Ripper!  The horrific means in which he murdered are often lost on the fact that he beat Scotland Yard and was never caught.  Sort of a British D.B. Cooper...except Cooper never carved and gutted nubile women.  But...when Jack the Ripper messes with Adrienne Barbeau!  Well, now we have no trouble realizing this creep for the monster he was.  Today we look at 1985's Made for TV epic, "Terror at London Bridge," directed by E.W. Swackhamer ... and starring ...DAVID HASSELHOFF!!! 

Chicago cop Don Gregory (Hasselhoff) is involved in an awful shooting and transfers to Lake Havasu (Arizona), a resort and retirement community. Lake Havasu purchased all of London bridge from England and now rebuilt it at the lake. Really.  Through some supernatural circumstances, also arriving in Lake Havasu is Jack the Ripper (Paul Rossilli)...and he begins murdering babes.  Sultry Alice (Barbara Bingham) is sad. The city council and mayor are determined to keep the bridge open as tourist dollars are important.  Don wants it closed as he senses a serial killer has arrived.  Chief Peter Dawson (Clu Gulager) won't shut the bridge.  Now Don and his partner, Joe (Randolph Mantooth) must find the killer before the fiend murders Don's new GF, Angie (Stepfanie Kramer).

Sadly, Jack the Ripper murders Adrienne Barbeau...and now its personal!  After all, this is the babe that survived the ghouls in "The Fog."  Babes continue to have their throats slit.  Don goes head to head with the mayor, chief, and the city council to close the bridge.  He's rebuffed at every turn.  Jack the Ripper continues his quest for...well, you'll see.  Now Don has a plan...unfortunately, Angie and Joe believe he is nuts.  Well, David Hasselhoff is...David Hasselhoff...and now Joe and Angie agree to help him.  The plan is a bad one and you just know Angie will be put in mortal danger.  Nevertheless, future tourism dollars for Lake Havasu are at steak and Jack the Ripper must be caught.

How can anyone kill Adrienne Barbeau?  Will Stepfanie and Don engage in pre-marital sex, or will Don's supposed insanity keep Angie available for Joe or Jack?  Will the city council and mayor come to agreement on a new water resources bill that won't jack-up property taxes for Lake Havasu residents? This is a "Jaws" like plot and the stars in this film are all terrific.  With some great TV cheesecake and beefcake,,,"Terror at London Bridge" is a must see film made before wokeness destroyed America.  


Sunday, May 21, 2023

Do Not Disturb, A Disturbing Revenge Horror Flick

Ah1 Tiffany Shepis!  Definitely a Horror Hall of Fame actress.  Whether she's pulling unfortunates apart...or being pulled apart, this seductress succeeds in all of her roles.  Sultry and intense...Ms. Shepis graces our film today.  But, will she be pulled apart...or do the pulling apart?  Could go either way.  Interestingly enough, our horror icon appears to have a straight forward role as a literary agent.  Don't be fooled.  Today's feature is 2010's "Do Not Disturb" (aka "New Terminal Hotel"), directed by BC Fourteen.

Novelist Don Malek (Stephen Geoffreys) has moved into a skid row hotel in L.A.  He is coming off an awful tragedy. His fiancĂ© was murdered by a movie studio head, Stan (Anthony Colliano), a real slimebag!  The rich Weinstein-like figure gets away with the murder.  Until now.  Don lures him to his hotel room, drugs him, and starts removing his internal organs.  Stan will be kept alive, totally paralyzed, and very aware.  Stan will feel all the pain and watch as Don operates on him removing one organ at a time.  The twisted Don does not intend to let Stan get away with murder.  Enough about Stan. 

Ava (Shepis), Don's agent, wants him back (as one of her novelists).  She surprises Don and barges into the hotel room and sees Stan and his diminished state.  Ava likes it...what a great idea.  She urges Don to channel this torture and mayhem to write another novel.  We are then introduced to other nefarious characters at the skid row hotel that annoy Don.  You can guess their fate.  Now Ava must deal with a rival, Carter (James Grabowski).  Carter is stealing all of Ava's novelists.  Now Ava has an arrangement in mind.  She goes to Don and presents him with an idea.  Ava insinuates blackmail, but assures Don she does not want to go to the cops.  The bathtub is ready for another surgery and Don's mental state is way gone.  Ava connives, and Carter, bless him, visits Don to steal him away from Ava.  What follows will be wild.  How does this all end?  You'll see and it will be wild!

Will Ava be an accomplice or a patient of Don the surgeon?  Does Don even have an intention of writing another novel?  Will Don use his paralysis drugs on Ava for anything other than prepping her for surgery?  Hard to watch at times, this film will have us cheering for Don.  For a seedy horror film with a performance by Ms. Shepis that will seduce and horrify you, see "Do Not Disturb."  

Friday, May 19, 2023

She, Sandahl Bergman's Magnum Opus

Today we have a great film. I know the term "great" is thrown around with reckless abandon...but this is literally a "great" film.  Sure, the Oscars would not agree...but they liked "The English Patient." Sandahl Bergman is a babe who excelled in exploitation films in the 80s and even insisted on filming all her sword fighting scenes using...real swords!  You think Jennifer Anniston would have suggested something like this? When you play a have to have it...and Ms. Bergman definitely has "it."  Hence...she plays "She."  No pronoun confusion when Sandahl Bergman hits the silver screen ...she is definitely a woman...and a half. Today we look at 1984's "She," directed by Avi Nesher.

Two hunks, Tom (David Goss) and Dick (Harrison Muller) are sad. The army of an evil warlord, collecting babes, abducts Tom's babe sister, Hari (Elena Wiedermann).  Now the hunk duo go on a quest to recover the babe.  She (Bergman) is a goddess presiding over a babe army of scantily clad warriors.  The babes wear a little leather and have big swords.  The two blokes find out She would know where the evil warlord resides...She does.  The two hunks kidnap She in order so she can lead them to the evil warlord. Now She's sultry right hand babe, Shanda (Quin Kessler), grabs the babe warriors and pursues.  Along the way, She and the two hunks will be beset by mutants who lose their limbs easy, cannibals, weird sailor bombs (you'll see), Nazi cults, and eventually the evil warlord's army.

Shanda catches up to the trio and by this time, She is all in in finding the babe sister.  Shanda and She, in skimpy leather undies, are constantly strung up, whipped, put on the rack, and experimented on. Chivalry was not dead back in these times, and Tom and Dick keep rescuing them.  She kind of gets sweet on Tom and Shanda gets sweet on Dick.  There will be more sword fighting and all out war between this quartet and all the aforementioned evil forces.  Both blondes, She and Shanda, look great, shiny, and fit throughout the entire film...even when they are being whipped.  Tom and Dick are quite the hunks... and the quest these four are on is a noble one.

Will Tom end up landing a goddess?  Will She be satisfied with a mere mortal, no matter how hunky he is? Will the evil warlords and cult leaders be successful in soiling She and Shanda?  This is an epic with a lot of cheesecake and beefcake. Ms. Bergman and Ms. Kessler are stunning throughout the entirety and will definitely get your juices flowing.  See "She," you will be impressed.       

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Monster Wolf, Hallmark meets Syfy

You have to love those Hallmark movies. You know the ones. A beautiful babe leaves small town USA to make it big in in the corporate world in New York City. Her firm sends her back home to convince her kinfolk and church friends to sell their farmland so some developer can build strip malls there. While there, an old flame comes calling. Years ago he proposed to her and she said no because New York beckoned. Now as she reconnects, she falls back in love with the BF who stayed behind and reconnects with her friends and neighbors.  Now she must convince big city developers to leave the town alone and move on. That's the movie we have today...just throw in a monster wolf.  In a made for Syfy epic, we look at 2010's "Monster Wolf," directed by Todor Chapkanov.

Big Oil drills illegally on Indian land in Louisianan.  This unleashes a monster wolf who hates people who litter...and chews them up.  Stark (Robert Picardo) heads the oil corporation and believes Indians are causing the disembowelment.  Next...send the sultry Maria (Leonor Varela) there.  She's from there and can speak the language of the townsfolk. Her job...get the locals to sell their land to the oil company. Once there, she reconnects with her ex-beau, Yale (Jason London).  He's a good ole boy, and we like him...better than her. Monster wolf also gets more aggressive. It eats anyone he can find that works for the oil company.  Uh oh...Maria works for the oil company now and she is on the creature's menu.

Despite her new arrogance, Maria is still a woman...with needs.  However redneck Yale is...he's still a man with a...well, you know. Mad, passionate pre-marital sex will ensue.  Stark calls in assassins to kill the wolf and the Indian chief (Steve Reevis) who controls most of the land.  Maria reconnects to her past and realizes her survival depends on that reconnection.  Yale is a hunk and we like him and wish he'd find a less stuck-up babe...poor guy deserves one.  Monster wolf gets bolder and now has included assassins, posses, and hunters to its buffet line.

Will Maria's connection to this town ultimately be enough to save everyone from getting eaten by the lycan-thing? Will vicious pre-marital sex with a flaming redneck be enough to kill the bug that's up Maria's a**?  Will Syfy treat us to wonderful Christmas decorations and an old grandmotherly lady cooking a holiday meal?  This is a really swell film.  Gore and steamy passion guide us through a very Hallmark-type story.  For a film that will please both you and your romance-minded babe...see "Monster Wolf."  

Monday, May 15, 2023

Land of Doom, Blonde Post-Apocalypse Babe and her Crossbow

She's tall.  Blonde.  Sultry!  She has a crossbow.  Alas, she never learned to fire it.  So she is bait for every mutant and man in a post-apocalyptic world.  Sounds like modern day college campuses, I know.  Today we look at one of those 1980s post-apocalyptic epics filmed overseas (Turkey).  In a plague infested landscape, where psycho motorcycle gangs rule, blonde babes never can rest.  Today we look at 1986's "Land of Doom."

As our film begins, Slater's (Daniel Radell) raiders rape and pillage a peaceful town in a post-apocalyptic landscape. The only surviving woman is blonde, blue-eyed beauty Harmony (Deborah Rennard).  She hides from the slaughter in a cave and there she meets a wounded hunk named Anderson (Garrick Dowhen).  After determining he will not rape her...the only guy in the movie who doesn't try to rape her...she agrees to travel with him.  The two are in search of a land where people are peaceful.  Along the way they will be ambushed and she will endure numerous attempted rapes...from raiders...mutants... cannibals... etc.  Harmony has a crossbow which she has no clue how to use so she resorts to kicking everyone in the nuts.  Anderson is impressed and the two battle raiders together.

Slater is furious his old foe, Anderson, is still loose. Now he wants his main man Purvis (Frank Garret) to capture Anderson and Harmony alive.  He does and the two are now chained to a wall in Slater's cave.  Slater intends to rape Harmony.  Alas...the munchkins show up with a flamethrower...really!  You'll see. Harmony will get more chances to kick more raiders in the nuts...which she does...and she will keep having difficulty figuring a point-and-shoot crossbow. Hey, she's blonde.  Now Harmony and Anderson will have a big war against Slater and his raiders.  The Munchkins loom, but one may wonder if they will try to rape Harmony.

Is post-apocalyptic Turkey a metaphor for American college campuses today?  Will Harmony ever figure out a trigger, or will she be relegated to a post-apocalyptic existence of scrapbooking and quilting?  Will Anderson ever get a clue and plant a wild wet one on Harmony's lips, even if it will mean a kick in the nuts?  "Land of Doom" is ambitious, action heavy, and has a lot of explosions.  For some great beefcake and cheesecake, see "Land of Doom."

Saturday, May 13, 2023

Curse of the Re-Animator, Sultry Blonde with a Sword

Today we have the final installment of a sensational trilogy of Charles Band and Full Moon Features. This 2022 film completes the meshing of Stuart Gordon's "Re-Animator" and "From Beyond."  It'll be gory, heartbreaking, horrific, and very Lovecraftian...that means slimy tentacles and babes.  Written and directed by William Butler, "Curse of Re-Animator" also features the sultry blonde Amanda Jones brandishing a menacing sword...and in sweaty love scenes with another blonde babe.

Crawford (Dave Oliver) and Professor Wallace (Michael Pare) are working together.  Of course, since Wallace probably murdered Crawford's dad, he is not happy about this. He also won't be happy that his fiancĂ©, Mara (Christine Helene Braa) is teaming up with Herbert West (Josh Cole) to bring the dead back to life.  Good news for this unholy duo, they have a few corpses headed their way. Mara gets a brilliant idea which sounds like it will spell death for billions...move West's lab to the same abandoned building where Crawford and Wallace are rebuilding the Resonator...what could go wrong?  Oh yes, the sultry Carrie is hot and heavy with sultry blonde alchemist coed Dakota (Mabel Thomas).  Uh oh...Carrie has a sword and Dakota is right to be concerned.

Carrie decides to report back to the Resonator project...and Dakota follows.  We're suspicious about Dakota and her motives.  Sure, we understand wanting to get into Carrie's pants...but clearly, Dakota has otherworldly motives, as well.  In the presence of the now functioning Resonator, Dakota tries out her alchemy...bad idea.  Now flesh eating zombies converge...and so do slimy and jellyfish like creatures from the other dimension.  This probably will not go well.  But wait!!!  Guess who also jumps out of the shadows...the sultry Carrie wielding a big sword. where will all this lead?  Will Dakota keep her head about her when Carrie enters with her sword?  Zombies or other-dimensional creatures?  Hey, this may be the Grizzly vs. Great White Shark question of the 21st Century.  Fun, gory, erotic, "Curse of the Re-Animator" may have your libido heightened even more than a Resonator would.  

Thursday, May 11, 2023

Beyond the Resonator, Mutant Koala Bear of the Undead

Full Moon Features has a neat trilogy out.  Today we look at the second installment, and the sequel to "The Resonator: Miskatonic U."  In today's feature we have the emergence of the fabled Dr. Herbert West as he perfects his re-animation serum.  We also have a monster and a re-animated Koala, hot lesbian chicks groping, kissing, and partaking in blood rites...and slimy monsters.  Today we look at 2022's "Beyond the Resonator," directed by William Butler.

Not all is well at Miskatonic University.  After Crawford's (Dane Oliver) unsuccessful experiments with the resonator, two of his buddies have either been killed or pulled into an alternate dimension.  His babe GF, Mara (Christina Helene Braa) is getting cold on him...and a psycho mom of one of his buddies is commandeering Crawford's machine.  Oh yes, Herbert West (Josh Cole) has moved into off campus housing and begins his experiments down in the basement.  Here, he'll re-animate a koala bear with bad results.  There's more...a sultry alchemy major, Dakota (Mabel Thomas) begins a steamy lesbian affair with Crawford's other buddy, Carrie (Amanda Jones).  The two hot blondes will get quite intimate.

Okay...distraught at losing her son, Julia (Kate Hodge), at gunpoint, orders Crawford to put the resonator back together and see if Brandon still exists somewhere else.  Uh oh...perhaps the Resonator was never turned off.  Slimy monsters from the other side attack.  Mara is barely able to save Crawford and Carrie is stalked by weird beings.  Now Carrie and Dakota get naked, feel each other up...and drink one another's blood.  Even an accident trying to kill the undead bear, the nubile babe Kelly (Victoria Richards) stumbles into the basement with awful results.  

No ending...but a nice intro to the final installment of the be warned.  Will Carrie and Dakota share more fluids other than just their blood?  Will slimy monsters put a damper on Crawford's and Mara's engagement?  Will Julia be successful in bringing her son back into this dimension, and if so...will he be the same old Brandon?  Erotic and gory, "Beyond the Resonator" may not be a complete story in itself, but is a fine bridge to the final installment.   

Tuesday, May 9, 2023

The Resonator: Miskatonic U, Where From Beyond Left Off

Korean Cheerleader Bondage!  What!?  Exactly what does this Asian fetish have to do with anything.  Of course, we are dealing with a story inspired by HP Lovecraft.  Throw in a lot of tentacles and maybe we have a new fad.  Seriously, what exactly is Korean Cheerleader Bondage will remain one of the great unanswered questions in film history, posed by today's feature 2021's "The Resonator: Miskatonic U," directed by William Butler.  Get ready for babes, hunks slimy tentacles, and off the chart libidos.

Miskatonic University is our setting. Crawford Tillinghast is a Quantum Physics major who has just seen his lab assistant decapitated by a tentacled creature which emanated from The Resonator.  The Resonator?  His dad invented it and died. Now Crawford wants to put it back together, and he does...with a few kinks. When not in the lab, Crawford takes classes on the afterlife with a very sultry Professor McMichaels (Amanda Weiss) and is harassed by Professor Wallace (Michael Pare), who was his dad's rival.  Also, the sultry Mara (Christine Helene Braa) is his doting GF.  Now Crawford returns to the lab and his buddies insist on helping.  Also in are the sultry blonde Carrie (Amanda Jones), hunk Bear (Alex Keener), and nerd Brandon (Austin Woods).

The hunks and coeds succeed.  The Resonator is recreated...and the aforementioned tentacled creatures come through.  The libidos of each is heightened causing deviant fantasies and intense make-out sessions.  Then the creatures attack. The students fight off the attack but not before being bloodied, impaled, and sexually harassed.  Now Professor Wallace realizes what is going on and makes a move to commandeer the machine.  More monsters are unleashed and a nefarious motive for Professor Wallace and Professor McMichael is hinted at.  More tentacles...more deviant fantasies...and more blood take us through the second half of the film.

Just what do the two professors have planned for The Resonator?  Do the tentacled creatures have deviant plans for Mara and Carrie?  Will we see any Korean cheerleaders, stripped by the slimy creatures, and bound with tentacles...stop!  I withdraw this final question.  This is a fun one from Full Moon Features.  Banned in South Korea...First Place winner in the North Korean Film Festival... "The Resonator: Miskatonic U" is a film you must see.


Sunday, May 7, 2023

Robotropolis, Machine Apocalypse on the TV News

Our technology develops a mind of its own and rebels.  Not an original theme, nor a new one.  Remember the HAL 9000?  Well, that computer was minor league compared to the robots in our film today.  Throw in an Elon Musk figure, and a remote island in the South China Sea...a great looking TV news crew...and a lot of carnage.  Limbs will be severed...heads crushed...innards ripped get the picture.  Today we look at 2011's "Robotropolis," directed by Christopher Halton.

On an island in the Pacific, an oil company has created a "company town."  Even better, the island is serviced by humanoid robots,  The things serve as cops, EMTs, oil rig workers, crossing guards...thousands of them.  These things are the creations of Elon Musk-esque Gordon Standish (Lani John Tupu). A TV news program arrives to do a story on this.  Seems the robots are loved and function perfectly.  When info-babe Christiane (Zoe Naylor) interviews peeps, everyone is happy.  During one broadcast, live, she exalts the wonderfulness of the robots...but in the background a robot blows away a soccer player.  Oops.  Now war starts.  Christiane and her crew are on the run.  Her camerawoman, Sky (Tonya Cornelisse) is also blown away.  Now Christiane, her sidekick Danny (Graham Sibley), and producer and lover Jason (Edward Foy) are on the run.

The robots massacre everyone.  Some of this may be hard to watch as even a kiddie birthday party is sliced up and dissected by the fiends.  The oil platforms are all in flames and the robots march through the city and murder everyone they find.  Christiane and crew try to stay on the air to report on it but their crew is shrinking.  Gordon, now facing bankruptcy as the massacre is on live TV, desperately tries to find a way to turn thousands of these now killing machines off.  As thousands lay in pieces in the streets, the killer 'bots hunt Christiane, Danny, and Jason.

Will info-babe Christiane, if she survives, be cast as the lead host in a reboot of Entertainment Tonight?  Will either Danny or Jason survive to have pre-marital sex with Christiane?  Will one of the robots look to Christiane with some other intention rather than murder her?  Dark, grim, and big on commentary about our reliance on technology, "Robotropolis" is a bloody fable we can all learn from.  

Friday, May 5, 2023

Hard Drive, A Pervert in a Deviant Web

We have a sordid one today.  Our antagonist is a pervert with mommy issues.  This is kind of a Film-Noir-esque, psycho-sexual fantasy film...with a lot of homicide and sex.  It is about time we had another of these films on the blog.  More importantly, this is a 1994 straight-to-video tale that would have found a nice home in either Showtime or Cinemax after 10pm.  Today we look at "Hard Drive" (directed by James Merendino), a prescient tale of what computers will do to us if we let them.

Out of work actor, Will (Leo Damian), is addicted to sex-chat on his computer.  He has a sultry wife, Laura (Belinda Weymouth).  We can't figure out why he is pouring all his sexual energy into a babe (Christina Fulton) on a chat when a real life babe sleeps in the same bed as him. Will fantasizes about sex as he chats with this probably fictional babe, Delilah.  The sex is rough and deviant.  He even is reminded of his hot mother and perhaps desires sex with her.  Then Delilah gets really deviant and wants to meet.  She has it all planned out...Will will break into her home, find her scantily clad, rape her, and murder her.  Delilah tells Will she will have a gun filled with blanks ready for this fantasy.  An address is exchanged and Will is on his way.

Will arrives and breaks in, rapes, and shoots Delilah.  Uh oh...the bullets were real.  Now Will is on the hook for a murder.  But wait...there is a witness, Jack (Matt McCoy). Jack follows Will away from the crime scene and demands a half million dollars.  An unholy relationship begins.  Now Laura tries to leave Will...but just like any chatty woman, she never seems to leave.  Will is then hounded by Jack, his chatty and hot wife, and the guilt of being a killer.  He contemplates suicide.  But wait!  Just who is this Jack guy?  Wait, again!  Why won't his hot wife just leave. Now Will starts thinking with his brain instead of his...well, you know.  What he figures out will endanger just about everyone in Malibu.  Even worse...the bodies will start to pile up.

Is this 1994 film an accurate foretelling of what computers have done to human relationships in the 21st century?  Just who is this Delilah woman?  Is she really a woman?  Who is the woman Will killed while playing out a sex fantasy?  This is a sordid tale that seems to be headed into really bad places.  Erotic, perverted, and an accurate portrait of America's willingness to forfeit human relationships for computerized porn.  See "Hard Drive," and get your fill of deviant sex and murder. 

Wednesday, May 3, 2023

Deadly Virtues: Love. Honour. Obey., A Twisted Mess

Sure...I admit it.  Not to turn most of you off immediately, but I will say at first glance we seem to have a film about sadism, torture, and humiliation.  But wait!  Is that what is really going on here?  Just wait...very soon into the movie it becomes apparent something else is going on here.  Whatever this film initially seems, or whatever it evolves (or devolves) into, either way, it is difficult to watch.  If you make it past the first half hour...don't be so quick to judge.  Today we look at 2014's "Deadly Virtues: Love. Honour. Obey." directed by Ate de Jong.

As our film begins, hunk husband Tom (Matt Barber) is applying vicious and kinky marital sex to his hot wife, Alison (Megan Maczko).  Uh oh...Aaron (Edward Akrout), an apparent stranger, invades the bedroom.  He'll knock out Tom and tie him up in the bathtub.  He'll initially tie up Alison.  Then the handsome Aaron begins gruesome torture on the bound Tom.  He'll un-bind Alison and let her know her obedience is necessary to secure Tom's life.  Aaron will then humiliate Alison, but not in the way you might think.  He'll reveal to her the perversion and depravity of her sex-life with her husband. He'll rummage through her closets and nightstand and find kinky sex toys and BDSM and bondage outfits.  Any disobedience by her will result in brutal torture for her husband.

Apparently (and I mean 'apparently'), Aaron's condition to free them both is if Alison has sex with him voluntarily.  Alison is game for pretending if it means freeing her husband and being rid of her tormentor. Then the clues begin cascading as to what is really going on.  A perceptive viewer will catch on...long before Alison does.  Then we detect that maybe Alison is charmed by her tormentor. He really does seem to love her.  Aaron knows things about her marriage that she does not even know...or will admit to herself. The backstory is heartbreaking and what seems to be coming down the pipe will be vicious and depraved.

Will Alison satisfy Aaron and get her husband back whole?  What does Aaron know that Alison should know? Is Alison really falling in love with Aaron?  Depraved and kinky, you may not want to admit you enjoyed this least in mixed company.  See "Deadly Virtues: Love. Honour. Obey." and try not tell anyone you are aroused by what unfolds before you on the silver screen.    

Monday, May 1, 2023

Shadow Dancer, Sultry Stewardess Terrorized by Stripper

A sultry stewardess terrorized by a stripper! Oh, come on!  Tell me again how there are no great movies out there you want to see!  April Breneman plays a sultry blonde stewardess who looks great in uniform, out of uniform, in gratuitous shower scenes, in gratuitous bath scenes, in bikini scenes, in sex scenes, and in even more gratuitous shower scenes. We haven't even discussed the other naked and promiscuous stewardess in the film...or the strippers.  This 1995 straight-to-video classic would have blown every film away on Showtime after hours.  Today we look at "Shadow Dancer," directed by Michael Paul Gerard. 

Let us begin with the strippers.  We see them a lot. First April (Cara Van Landingham). We see her in her French maid routine, stewardess routine, nurse routine, etc. She strips for bachelor parties. She lives with Nick (Jack Van Landingham), a hunk male stripper. We see him as a cop, a cowboy, and a doctor. He graces bachelorette parties. Sweet stewardess Yvonne (Breneman) is getting married to pilot Rob (John McCafferty). Sultry stewardess Christy (Kim Sill) is jealous and hires Nick to arrive at her bachelorette party. Here's where we get sordid. Kim drugs Yvonne with a date rape drug, and Nick rapes her, and in the process de-virginizing her,  Oh yes, Nick films the whole thing.

Rob and Yvonne get married and have a lot of sex.  By the way, April and Nick have a lot of sex. Uh oh... Nick turns evil and abuses April.  When he finds out Yvonne is pregnant, he believes he is the father of the unborn child.  Now Nick terrorizes Rob and Yvonne by masquerading as the pool boy. More gratuitous bath, shower, and sex scenes follow.  Christy will have plenty of those, too.  Uh oh...Nick turns really evil and homicide enters the plot.  Heartbreaking and vicious, this gratuitous thriller goes places that many 90s filth dared not go.

Will Christy and Yvonne make-up or engage in a gratuitous catfight?  Will Nick murder Rob and move in to raise the baby he believes is his?  Will Christy and Yvonne get in the shower with each other or with the psycho stripper?  The cheese factor is intense in this one and you may need a shower after watching this gritty filth.  Fear not, you will love this film and rue the fact that moviemakers no longer make masterpieces like "Shadow Dancer."