Wednesday, December 30, 2020

A Quiet Place to Kill, Racecar Babe in Murder Plot

Here's a fun game to play. When you are in church or at a family gathering, write down the five people there that have a motive to murder you. Oh...and those of you that don't think your spouse has a motive for your demise...please! Don't be alarmed...then write the five people you have a motive to murder. Think about it, Look at the list of the people who could potentially slaughter you...are you sure they're completely sane? Yep, today we have a film where everyone has a motive for murder. From Italy, Umberto Lenzi's 1970's "A Quiet Place to Kill."

Helen (Carroll Baker) is a sultry blonde racecar driver. She makes Danica Patrick look like Julia Child. Helen is a grouchy sort, like Patrick, but looks a lot better in a bikini or in a gratuitous shower scene. Where were we? Oh yes! Helen is seriously injured in a racecar crash...drives like Patrick, too. She believes her hunk ex-husband, Maurice (Jean Sorel), has invited her to his vacation villa to recuperate. Because he's such a hunk, she accepts the weird invite. Uh oh...he did not send the invite. Nope, it was sent by his new wife, Constance (Anna Proclemer). But why? Constance and Maurice have a great time spying on Helen as she takes a shower. Both try to seduce her...Maurice succeeds. Here's the rub...Constance wants Helen's help to murder Maurice. In it for Helen is a small fortune.

The two wives become close and start their fiendish plot. Like any amateur criminal, things never go the way they are drawn up on paper. Uh oh...there may be more murder plots hatching at this trendy villa by the sea. Helen will do a lot of traipsing around in a bikini and take more showers. A spear gun will be introduced to the plot as will Constance's sultry college age daughter (Marina Coffa). The bloodshed commences but who dies and who murders is not immediately apparent. Missing bodies, tampered evidence, and forbidden sex rule the plot in this twisted and deviant murder mystery.

Does murdering Maurice enable Constance to move in on Helen? Did Constance's daughter return to the villa from college to visit her mom or'll see. Did the reckless driving habits on the racetrack of Helen inspire Danica Patrick to become a racecar driver? This is an erotic thriller where everyone in it has a good motive to kill anyone else in this film...just like your family gatherings. Who will die and who does the killing will be a neat twist at the end. For a good murder mystery that we may consider Giallo, see "A Quiet Place to Kill."  

Monday, December 28, 2020

Haunting at Foster Cabin, Sorority Girls Shredded

Five babe sorority girls! When they start dying...more show up, just like the Swedish Bikini Team. Gratuitous nudity in a hot tub. Gratuitous shower scene. Lesbian eroticism. Decapitations, disembowelment, and impalement. Yep, what some consider a feminist anthem, 2014's "Haunting at Foster Creek" (aka "Demon Legacy"), directed by Rand Vossler. Nothing has an audience screaming "Kill 'em all!" like a group of sorority sisters...who knows why? Throw in some demons and a lot of possession and we have a near masterpiece.

Michelle (Anna Marie Demara) is clairvoyant...she got the gift from her grandmother. She has visions of her coming weekend with her sorority sisters. The vision is of all them dying horribly and coming back as demons. Good call, on her part. The other babe sorority sisters meet her at a cabin in the woods. Jack (Kate Siegel) a lesbian, Kelly (Julie Strange), Sharon (Kati Sharp) a pseudo-Goth, and Dana (Michelle Nunes). They frolic, play "Truth or Dare," drink alcohol, kiss, shower, and find a Ouija Board. Yep...they invoke bad spirits and a couple of the babes are possessed. This is unfortunate because John Savage ("The Deer Hunter") will have to decapitate them later...but let us not go there. Now Kelly is ripped apart by lesbian-babe-demon Jack. Now the demons hunt Michelle and Sharon.

Out of nowhere, Veronica (Angelina Lyubomirova) and her hunk BF Wesley (Matthew Currie Holmes) show up. They like pre-marital sex but will both die horribly. Now Michelle's two-timing BF Randy (Grant Alan Ouzts) arrives. He looks really good but, like all men, is quite worthless to Michelle's plight. Michelle communicates with her dead grandmother for a solution to her demon problem. Then John Savage shows up with some nice blades...a true demon hunter. Heads will go flying and hearts will be ripped out. Michelle must figure out who she can trust before she is able to defeat the demons that seek her soul.

Are demon infested babes an accurate metaphor for sorority sisters? Is a sword wielding demon hunter the role John Savage had always hoped for after he did "The Deer Hunter"? With all the gratuitous nudity, shower and hot tub scenes, and pre-marital sex, was a Ouija Board really needed to conjure up evil? Gratuitous and gory, "Haunting at Foster Cabin" is the perfect film for all of you who have been manipulated and spit out by a sorority babe. Enjoy the show and consider this the long awaited sequel to "The Deer Hunter."

Saturday, December 26, 2020

Monster on the Campus, Ape Man on Campus

No, not a story about the University of Virginia lacrosse team. Something a bit more campy and less bloody, 1958's "Monster on the Campus," directed by Jack Arnold.  Made decades ago, but still a biting commentary on the viciousness of America's higher education system. The misogyny that emanates on college campuses, from the administration to athletes, may be seen in this old B movie in the form of metaphor. Unfortunately for mad-scientists, they do not get the pass that football or basketball players get when they shred nubile babes.

As the film begins, Professor Donald Blake (Arthur Franz), mad-scientist extraordinaire, is sexually harassing his fiancé, Madeline (Joanna Moore). She forgives him. Then a delivery arrives. A perfectly preserved prehistoric fish from Madagascar. He must be mad as he will now pay more attention to the fish than his nubile blonde girlfriend. Donald cuts himself on the fish's teeth while sultry Nurse Molly (Helen Westcott) makes some moves on him. He'll turn into a monster and murder her. By the time the cops arrive, he has changed back into Professor Blake and the fingerprints and footprints suggest an ape-man is the culprit. Despite the corpse of a beautiful dead nurse in his backyard, Madeline is a forgiving sort and really doesn't make a big deal of it.

Okay, back to the plot. More experiments and careless laboratory protocol sees the creation of a monster dragonfly. Donald still doesn't put two and two together (which in modern American universities, this equals five) and the carnage will continue. When he finally does suspect something in the fish is causing evolution to reverse, no one believes him. The cops keep investigating and Donald, as an ape-man, will continue his murderous ways. Now the college suspends him for...get this...making unauthorized telephone calls to Madagascar. He will now continue his experiments unfettered. Oblivious to Donald's shortcomings, Madeline rushes to be with the man she loves. This might not turn out well as he is ready to inject prehistoric fish blood into himself.

If Professor Donald Blake were a football player, would the university have overlooked his long distance calls to Madagascar? Is some sexual harassment permissible if it is in the sake of groundbreaking experiments and discoveries on evolution? Can we really study prehistoric ape-men without a certain amount of groping and fondling? This is a classic B movie from the 1950s, but much more intelligent than anything Christopher Nolan has done. For some great entertainment, see "Monster on the Campus."


Thursday, December 24, 2020

Attack of the Giant Leeches, Blood Suckers Want Love and Dinner

From Executive Producer Roger Corman comes one of the most iconic B movies of all time, 1959's "Attack of the Giant Leeches." Directed by Bernard L. Kowalski, this horrific tale is king of the public domain nasties, yet classic all the way. Some of the imagery and scenes in this film are truly horrific and may have inspired some other great horror, like the 'Alien' franchise. Still, we have nubile babes in much peril, useless square-jawed hunks, and some slimy and menacing creatures...what more can we ask for?

A poacher is scared out of the swamp by a giant leech. No one believes this guy's story. Steve (Ken Clark) is the fish and game cop, but he's too busy drinking coffee to do anything except romance the beautiful Nan (Jan Shepard). Nan's dad, Doc is a! He wants to dynamite the swamp and bring up any monster being...yes!!! Steve says no... and drinks more coffee instead. Swamp skank Liz (Yvette Vickers) is fooling around on her fat husband Dave (Bruno VeSota). The sultry dame will sneak off to the swamp with Cal (Michael Emmet) for some extra-marital sex. Dave will follow and at the point of a shotgun order the two into the swamp. Liz and Cal will then be grabbed by giant leeches and pulled down to an underwater cavern where the monsters will slowly feed on their blood.

Dave tries telling everyone about the monsters but no one believes him except Doc, who wants to dynamite the swamp. Steve tells him not to and drinks more coffee. Some poachers go out looking for Liz (and maybe Cal) and get abducted, too. The fiends continue feeding off their abductees and Doc sneaks off to the pond with dynamite. Steve drinks more coffee.  Steve continues to romance Doc's beautiful daughter, as she makes him coffee. The leeches don't need coffee as they feed off Liz's blood. Poor Liz, the sultry swamp skank is less beautiful as each frame of the film goes by. 

Will fish and game cop Steve stop drinking coffee long enough to do something to save the virtue and purity (okay, she's not virtuous and pure, but she is quite the looker) of the sultry Liz? Will Doc's penchant for blowing up things make him the hero of this film or Steve's latest arrestee? When the leeches get through with the sultry Liz, will they find a need for the sultry Nan? After all, slimy blood suckers need love, too. This is an action and horror packed horror film that shows Roger Corman makes films that people actually want to see. For a bloody and explosive good time while watching a horror film, see "Attack of the Giant Leeches."

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Bullets of Justice, World War 3 and Pigs

What if pigs ruled the world? Okay...I know...they already do. I mean literally. What if all men were pigs? Stop it! I know...they are! I mean literally. Whatever social or political commentary can be derived from our feature today, let it not take away its luster as a fun grindhouse/exploitation tale. We will talk about 2019's "Bullets of Justice," directed by Valeri Milev, today. Filmed in Bulgaria, revolting at times, offensive always, and just such a pleasure to watch, this film will deliver big time on the gore and nudity.

World War 3 has come to an unceremonious end. We (humans) lost. At the end of the war, Russia and the U.S. tried to genetically alter pigs to use as a weapon. The experiments got out of control and the pig-people rose up. A biological attack to kill all the pig-people backfired and now humans can not propagate. The only being who can is a Pig-mother who lives on a farm in New York City where humans are harvested for food. Enter Rob Justice (Timur Turisbekov). As the film opens he and his sultry assistant Nina (Yana Marinova) are battling a flying pig with a midget tail-gunner strapped to his back. You are just gonna have to see this for yourself. Nina will be killed soon after after engaging in steamy pre-maritalsex with Rob. Rob is a warrior in the resistance. 

As all looks bleak for humans, the survivors decide to go on the offensive. Enter Rob's sister, and deviant lover, Raksha (Doroteya Toleva). She's a babe...even though she has a moustache. The two will be sent to infiltrate the human farm, find the mother pig, and kill her. Uh oh...betrayal and deviant sex awaits...not all heterosexual. A vision from a dream signals to Rob that a male model from one of his fantasies is real and seeking to destroy him. With temptations from his heterosexual and homosexual ids, Rob partakes on his mission with a tortured soul. He and Raksha are capable, but traitors and a pig nation in control may be too much to overcome.

I know, a classic Herman Melville plot...still, this comes at us as a unique story in the age of tired superhero films. Gritty, deviant, and disgusting, this movie will please many fans of this blog. The ending will be cerebral, carnal, or 'out-there,' depending on how you choose to interpret it. For a spaghetti western type tale set in an apocalyptic wasteland, see "Bullets of Justice." Oh! One more thing...I didn't mention it but Danny Trejo is in this, too. 

Sunday, December 20, 2020

Empire of the Apes, Space-Babes in much Peril

After enduring the tiresome whining of the #MeToo movement, I bring you the best film ever to have chronicled the misogyny in western civilization. Through metaphor, 2013's "Empire of the Apes" (directed by Mark Polonia) paints a grim picture of the fate of women as our future speeds nearer to us. Biting commentary and sultry space-babes give us a film that we want to see, rather than one that is force fed to us. Of course, sultry space-babes in much peril make it so easy to ignore any social message in favor of alluring cheesecake.

Three space-babes are prisoners aboard a spaceship. Dane (Danielle Donahue), Jada (Marie DeLorenzo), and Theel (Elizabeth V. Costanzo) are being brought to a grotesque alien planet to be sex slaves of monsters. Yep, Harvey Weinstein's Hollywood is a good comparison. Captain Zantor (Steve Diasparra) seeks to make a lot of money upon delivery. The women rebel and use a phony catfight as the catalyst for their escape. They steal a shuttle and crash land on a nearby planet. Soon, the trio is captured by ugly apes who rule the planet. Baal (James Carolus) is an evil ape who seeks to win favor with their ruler, Korg (Ken Van Sant). Korg seeks a ship to escape the dying planet and wishes the three females to help propagate their species. The gals are sickened by this suggestion.

Now imprisoned, the gals wait to be auctioned off. Korg has mandated that the ape-games (hand to hand combat) will decide which apes get a woman to mate with. Trask (Jeff Kirkendall) emerges as a good ape who seeks to help the trio escape. Uh oh, Zantor shuttles down to the planet to recapture the escapees. He and Korg will form an allegiance which, if successful, will be horrific for the space-babes. Either way, monsters are set to mate with these lovelies. Now the women, with Trask's help, escape, but their options are limited. The apes and Zantor are hot on their trail and simian hormones are going through the roof.

Warning, the ending is terrifying, especially if you are a woman. Young actresses in Hollywood will be able to relate. Do the gals have any hope for escaping a fate of monster rape? Should the sultry space-babes be more open-minded and give ape love a chance? The Polonia Brothers have done it again...they made a film we will love. Ignore the Hollywood idiocy about women being suppressed in a man's world and enjoy biting reality and enjoy a plot about apes who desire sex with space-babes. "Empire of the Apes," see it and ignore any of #MeToo's exploitation of the women they purport to help.

Friday, December 18, 2020

The Return of the Exorcist, Possession Italian Style

I bet you didn't know that the Italians, in the form of Giallo, ripped off "The Exorcist." Yep. Two's really bad, and it's really good! I can also guarantee you this Italian film is infinitely better than the Richard Burton/Linda Blair sequel. With lines like, "I spit on you and all your mumbo jumbo..." you know we have a winner in 1975's "The Return of the Exorcist," directed by Luca Damiano and Angelo Panaccio. Unlike the William Friedkin classic, there will be a lot of nubile Euro-babes beset in evil orgies in this Giallo entry.

Piero (Jean-Claude Verne) is a young hunk who has a chance encounter with a succubus (Mimma Biscardi). She is sent by a Satanic cult to possess him and she does. This won't be a good harbinger for his friends and family. Now Piero is seduced by this naked beauty and a satanic charm is burned into his chest. The first casualty of this succubus is the nubile Sherry (Sonia Viviani), Piero's girlfriend. She will have her throat cut at the disco while Piero and the seductress have pre-marital sex...coincidence? Piero's sultry mother (Francoise Prevost) will get into a knock-down drag out cat-fight with the naked demon. The old adage holds true here, "When you wrestle with a both get dirty...but the succubus likes it..." 

Piero's only hope is his hot sister, Elena (Patrizia Gori). Uh oh...she's a nun. Back from Africa she tries to save her brother. Now the succubus seduces her and de-virginizes her. Victimized by the seductress, Elena calls in help and an exorcist (Richard Conte) is summoned. He is a boring chap who obviously took lessons from Max von Sydow. As our succubus keeps dragging Piero and Elena into deviant satanic orgies, our exorcist sticks by the playbook. Beds will levitate, the possessed will upchuck, and nubile nuns will be soiled.

Will Elena's rape at the hands of the succubus result in the planting of a demon seed? Will anyone fly through the window and down the cement staircase in this film? Is this film a metaphor for the increasing death grip socialism has on western Europe? Have some fun and see the Giallo version of "The Exorcist." Perhaps this is cinematic sacrilege but be sure to watch "The Return of the Exorcist." 

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

The Good Sisters, Witchcraft and Paranoia

Just because you're paranoid they may still be out to get you. Okay, picture a Roman Polanski essay/film on paranoia and add a generous tablespoon of glitter...and we have 2009's "The Good Sisters" (directed by Jimmyo Burril). The glitter? This blog's favorite actress, Debbie Rochon and her co-star, the lovely April Monique Burril. However lovely these two actresses are, they will deliver the horror and gore to a bevy of weird neighbors...who might have it coming. You know the old maxim, "deliver the gore unto them before they deliver it unto you."  

Breanne and Kindra are sisters and witches. They do rituals with Ouija boards, cast spells, do things with herbs, pay attention to menstrual cycles, and are keen with herbs. Uh oh! A new neighbor, Daniel (David R. Calhoun) has moved in to the boarding house they reside. He occupies the first floor and his suspicious living habits has our sultry duo nervous. They are on the run. From who? You'll find out. Being cautious has kept them alive in a world that has never been warm and fuzzy to women who proclaim loyalty to Lilith. No matter...weird happenings stroke their cautiousness to the point of it becoming paranoia. Now they suspect everyone in their boarding house of being "after them." But are they?

Daniel does appear to be keeping tabs on them...but they are two babes and Daniel does have sexual fantasies. When all the other residents in the boarding house also appear to be spying or snooping, the sister duo decide to go on the offense. From past experience, and the history of their ancestors, Breanne and Kindra realize being on the offense can prolong their lifespan. Erotic rituals filled with nudity, chanting, blood, and yes...a sacrifice...will set our witches up for a strategic advantage. Casualties that are heartbreaking and gory will occur and we wonder if our protagonists are in fact the antagonists. The blood will flow and a horrific ending will cap this psychological thriller that will be steeped in allure and gore.

Do Breanne and Kindra have good reason to be suspicious of their neighbors...or is psychotic paranoia guiding them? Just who are these weirdos in the boarding house and what are they up to? Are we more likely to be accepting of dames that call themselves witches if more of them looked like Debbie Rochon and April Monique Burril? This one will have you guessing and the ending will take you by surprise. For some nice allure, gore, and mystery, see "The Good Sisters." 

Monday, December 14, 2020

Fatal Conflict, Space-Babe Saves the World

Kari Wuhrer is one of the most alluring space-babes ever put on film. We all winced at her horrific fate as the Syfy show "Sliders" abruptly ended. As the show ended, the beauty was cast in the lead role in today's film, 2000's "Fatal Conflict" (directed by Lloyd A. Simandl). Her performance is gratuitous in every way, and she will spend much of the film in a wet t-shirt. Still, this Czechsploitation film will have a lot of gratuitous babes in scantily clad get ups as they are groped and abused.

Yep...the proverbial prison mining colony where inmates are scantily clad babes sentenced to hard labor. Sasha (Wuhrer) escapes from her work crew and foils a gem smuggling operation run by brother sister tandem, Conrad (Leo Rossi) and Carla (Jennifer Rubin). Oh yeah, Carla and Conrad are not only siblings, they are lovers. The duo escapes and Sasha is tasked again. Max (David Fisher) is some mysteriously important guy who can promise the disgraced Sasha her pilot license back. She accepts a suicide mission. Our sibling team hijacks a space freighter and is bent on crashing it into Los Angeles. The plan is far fetched. Sasha will sneak aboard the freighter and divert the freighter to the desert. She is able to sneak aboard. Sasha finds the beset captain, Dan (Miles O'Keefe) is captured by our amorous siblings and made to steer the freighter toward the target.

Sasha, with Dan's help eliminates much of Conrad and Carla's goons. In the process she'll plant a device underwater and spend much of the remaining part of the film in a wet t-shirt. As more goons and thugs try to capture Sasha, she kills them. Now for Sasha's plan to capture the is far-fetched and surprising. It will involve seduction, being groped, and attracting Conrad away from his sister. Conrad might have hormones that will set him up for Sasha's seduction moves, but Carla isn't fooled. Now Carla has Dan, who she is trying to seduce. Dan is agape, but desiring pre-marital sex from Sasha. As the freighter nears L.A., we wonder if that god-forsaken city is worth saving. Still, Kari Wuhrer is on board, so ultimately, we want her to live.

Are Sasha and Carla on a course for a gratuitous cat-fight? Will Dan get the pre-marital sex he has coming to him, with Sasha or Carla?  Would wet- t-shirts and chicks with Kari Wuhrer's figure have made the whole "Star Wars" nonsense worth seeing? This is a fine film from Czechoslavakia with a lot of sweaty babes in skimpy clothing doing hard labor. For some gratuitous fun and a magnum opus performance by Kari Wuhrer, see "Fatal Conflict."

Saturday, December 12, 2020

Star Quest, Emma Samms as a Space-Babe

Here's a game for you to play during the holiday season. The next time you are waiting in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles...or a doctor's waiting room...or at an airport...imagine a nuclear holocaust has occurred. Everyone outside your setting has been incinerated. The only survivors are the peeps inside with you. The clock have 15 seconds to decide. Choose one other person in that waiting area as the person you will procreate with. The human species must go on and you will have to make a selection fast as all the good ones from the opposite sex will go quickly. Perhaps you will emerge a winner. You guys might get an Emma Samms look-a-like. You gals might get a Steven Bauer look-a-like. Or you may will end up with a Wilford Brimley or Bea Arthur. This brings us to 1994's "Star Quest" (aka "Terminal Voyage") directed by Rick Jacobson.

Six crewmembers wake up from suspended animation aboard a spaceship. Unfortunately the captain died in his sleep chamber. They were asleep 100 years. Three babes and three hunks remain. Hollis (Gregory Mckinney) is the new captain...he'll seemingly commit suicide when he figures out that sometime over the past 100 years Earth blew itself up. The ship is headed to a distant planet. The new captain, Jammad (Allan Rachins) will get removed from his authority by cold fish Becker (Emma Samms) just before he dies mysteriously. No one likes Becker...she's a babe but never smiles. Reese (Steven Bauer) and Granier (Cliff De Young) announce that the the three babes and three hunks need to procreate to further the human race. The three babes are put off by the lack of foreplay.

With no copulation occurring yet, the crew gets grouchy. Mysterious deaths continue. Han (Ming Na- Wen) is the babe doctor and junkie. She determines all the deaths were accidental. Becker continues being mean by asking everyone to write progress reports...bitch! Zinovitz (Brenda Bakke) knows the deaths were murder and believes Becker is the culprit. I bet it's that progress report order. She tries to convince Reese of this. Now Becker may have a mutiny on her hands  As Han continues to shoot up, Becker continues asking for progress reports, and the guys still aren't getting any pre-marital sex, the unhappy spaceship inches closer to a mysterious planet.

Could Becker have headed off a mutiny if she just ordered everyone to engage in pre-marital sex? Is Zinovitz' dislike for Becker a realization that she just doesn't measure up to Emma Samms? Will Reese be more apt to choose Becker or Zinovitz as a sex partner...and will either lady have a say in the matter? This is a good one with a great looking cast. For some space intrigue that poses pertinent questions about the coming apocalypse, see "Star Quest."

Friday, December 11, 2020

Nights Too Bright, A Ghost Tale?

Those nights can be least in a figurative sense. Shadows and deceiving streetlights can enhance...or play havoc...with the imagination. Of course the imagination has to be induced to explore the nether reaches of one's own mind. Add in a sultry babe...or a psycho babe...or someone with an essence that seems to attract the otherworldly...and we have the ingredients of a spooky tale. As long as she is sultry, we tend to forgive all the rest. Gloria Iseli has directed a nine-minute short film (written by Guy Jackson), "Nights Too Bright." This has horror, mystery, and film noir elements that will leave you startled. This film can be seen on YouTube by clicking this link NIGHTS TOO BRIGHT .

He's (Sean Bolger) there. Watching? Waiting? Plotting? Either way, he's menacing. He knows. Knows what? Perhaps who she is and what she is up to. She (Ashley Park)? Kendra, a sultry babe. Femme Fatale, perhaps? Young doll with grandma issues? A portal to another realm? Hey, she's who cares? Lenny (Garth Koorzen) doesn't. Not yet. Lenny? A guy...who is dating beyond his pay-grade. His new gal has issues but so far, so good. They go for a late night stroll not paying any attention to our menacing being who just might decide to follow them.

She isn't bringing up ex-boyfriends so Lenny is content with the conversation. Her choice of conversation is ghosts. That could be interesting. Lenny isn't a believer in those specters but Kendra is. She has seen them. She'll tell him about some encounters after he asks. The conversation will seduce him into a fear that didn't exist a few minutes earlier. We can identify with Lenny's drooling countenance as he is all into Kendra. Kendra comes off the silver screen as either a seductress or a temptress...but tempting or seducing to what? Oh...remember the ominous man? Well, you'll see...maybe more than you are comfortable with.

Gloria Iseli has created so much in nine minutes, The film-noir aspect of this film is no surprise as Guy Jackson's "Los Angeles Overnight" is one of the best Neo-Noir films to date. Ms. Iseli's manipulation of the shadows, streetlights, and an ever evocative Kendra carry us along with Lenny into a journey that might be quite ominous. One may see this as a different kind of ghost story, but Ms. Iseli delivers a whole bunch more as she allows your own imagination to fill in some blanks. See "Nights Too Bright" and see where your mind takes you.  

Thursday, December 10, 2020

Dream No Evil, Nubile Insaniac

A homicidal psychosis can be the perfect cure for reality. Today we have a strange one in which a sultry babe may have a real problem with the line that separates reality from fantasy. Actually, it is not her with the problem. This is a weird one that may take some plot twists from 1970s Giallo. 1970's "Dream No Evil" is our feature today, directed by John Hayes.

As a little girl, Grace (Brooke Mills) is adopted from an orphanage. She was always certain her real dad, Timothy (Edmond O'Brien) was going to come and rescue her from the orphanage. Instead, she ends up raised by a fraudster, a faith-healing travelling preacher. Jesse (Michael Pataki) preaches the gospel, heals the sick, and dresses Grace up in a skimpy circus outfit to assist in the "miracles." Even as a stunning young women, Grace seeks her real father. Enter her fiancé, Dr. Patrick Bundy (Paul Prokop). He's Jesse's brother. He also has some level of affection for a striking nurse in white, Shirley (Donna Anders). Patrick wants pre-marital sex with Grace, who wants to stay a virgin until their wedding night. Shirley, on the other hand, is all for pre-marital sex.

Now this whole story gets a bloody sort of way. Looking for her dad, Grace meets a weird undertaker, who also supplies geriatric whores to geriatric Johns. He takes her to the embalming room where Grace's dad is on a slab. She resurrects him and he murders the undertaker. Next, Grace and her dad go off to a horse farm. She'll bring the Reverend Jesse to meet her dad. As Grace seduces the man who raised her in the barn, the dad butchers him. Meanwhile, Patrick and Shirley start going crazy with pre-marital sex, and Grace knows. More peeps who venture to the horse farm end up butchered. Now Grace and her dad have plans for Patrick and the nubile nurse in white, Shirley. 

Is Grace's resurrected father real, or a product of a psychosis? Will the nubile and frisky nurse in white, Shirley, be butchered by either Grace or her dad? What is in store for the sex-starved Patrick and does it include blunt or bladed implements? This is a weird one and the rapid disintegration of Grace's sanity is horrifying to watch. For some twisted and somewhat taboo drive-in horror from 1970, see "Dream No Evil."

Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Lethal Target, Space-Babes and Monsters Love and Fight

Dr. Dane (Kim Still) is one of the greatest mad-scientists ever put on the silver screen. Clad in either tight black leather, or naughty white lingerie, the sultry blonde spends all her days having wild three-way lesbian sex, infecting Czechoslovakian babes with mutant DNA, or trying to seduce the new babe/nymphomaniac marshal. Today we have a film heavy on the three-way lesbian sex in what amounts to a better film than "Alien" could have ever hoped to be. 1999's "Lethal Target" (directed by Lloyd A. Simandl), the best film ever made in The Czech Republic.

Nikki (C.C. Costigan) is a space-babe doing a life sentence on a prison mining planet. All the prisoners are sultry babes wearing rags that practically fall off their perfect bodies. A mysterious guy, Max (David Fisher) comes to see her with an offer she can't refuse. Freedom in return for completing a suicide mission. Nikki accepts and is given an undercover identity, a nymphomaniac marshal. Really! Her job is to go onto a research vessel run by Dr. Dane. Dane is doing experiments and may have mastered teleportation to alien worlds. Max fears something came back with her from an alien world which threatens to infect the universe.

Dane is a busy gal. Wild three-way lesbian sex is her priority with Euro-babes. These scenes are steamy. She is not happy at having a new marshal assigned to her vessel. Nikki prowls around and meets a supposed ally, the hunk Pike (Josh Barker). They will have a lot of pre-marital sex while Dane watches on video, while she has wild lesbian sex with her babes. Oh yeah...during lesbian sex, Dane infects the Euro-babes with DNA which causes a slimy and toothy monster to explode out of their abdomen within 24 hours. Now monsters also prowl this vessel. Nikki is ordered to...well, you'll see. Our babe protagonist realizes the only way to get close enough to the evil Dane is to seduce her. Beware, Dane wants to infect Nikki and knows the only way to get close enough to her is to seduce her. Talk about a perfect plot!

Will Nikki seduce Dane or will Dane seduce Nikki...and will naked Euro-babes be involved? Is there a cat-fight brewing between our two vixens, and will they be wearing leather or lingerie? Just what has Max tasked Nikki to do if she can get close enough to Dane? This is probably the best science fiction movie ever made...or at least, way up there. For an erotic good time, take in this Czechsploitation classic, "Lethal Target."  

Sunday, December 6, 2020

Ice Queen, Monster Bitch from the Ice Age

The line is a classic one! "I'm not a hooker...I'm in law school!" Jennifer Hill is a great actress who sadly we don't see more of. Shortly after this classic line she ends up in a cat-fight with another sultry actress, Noelle Reno. High heels...tight bra and a tight sweater...Hill's character Elaine almost outshines the titular "Ice Queen." Throw in an avalanche Irwin Allen would be proud of...more cat-fights...and humans shredded by an Ice Age mutant femme. 2005's "Ice Queen" was directed by the late Neil Kinsella. I just had to ask, how did I miss this one all these years?

A military convoy is attacked and the cargo stolen. Cargo? A perfectly preserved babe from the Ice Age. Bad news...she's not dead. Worse news...she comes back to life when she's thawed. Thawed by mistake, the thieves are in an airplane when the prehistoric PMS babe comes to. Now she's ticked. She has big teeth and sharp fingernails and slimy blue skin. She kills the pilot and the plane crashes in the mountains causing an avalanche that buries a ski resort. At the ski resort is Johnny (Harmon Walsh) who is engaged to babe Tori (Reno). Bad news...wet T-shirt contestant Elaine (Hill) seduced him and now their all buried together in the beset resort with...the Ice Queen monster.

The monster thrives on cold and when she impales you with her hand, she sucks all the warmth out of you. This won't prevent babes Tori and Elaine from having a nice cat-fight over idiot Johnny. Now the Ice Queen shreds survivors and sets her sight on Tori, Elaine, other throwaway survivors. Johnny? The ugly prehistoric hag tries to seduce Johnny. It won't be as successful as Elaine. Then Johnny's boss, Audrey (Tara Walden) arrives...she announces to the creature, "It's showtime in Bitch Town!" A cat-fight ensues. Unfortunately for Audrey, a mad-scientist (Daniel Hall) is there to protect the fiend. Now the Ice Queen (Ami Chorlton) goes through avalanche survivors like crap through a goose.

Does the large breasted law student, Elaine, have a chance in Hell to survive this film? Could pre-historic PMS have contributed to the extinction of the dinosaurs? Will Johnny take one for the team to save the babes and allow the monster to seduce him? This is a good one...really good. Sadly, Ms. Hill has not acted since 2010...too bad as she is a far superior actress than those hams Scarlett Johannson or Gal Gadot...Ms. Hill also made better films than those two pretenders. See "Ice Queen" and allow yourself to be seduced in Bitch Town by Jennifer Hill.   

Friday, December 4, 2020

Blood of the Virgins, Vampires in Argentina

Okay, so the virgins in this film are probably, in reality, long past their virgin days. The babes seem more like nymphomaniacs than pillars of purity and virtue. Still, if they want to identify as virgins...fine. Fortunately, our film from Argentina, 1967's "Blood of Virgins" (directed by Emilio Vieyra) takes on the traits of some nice Euro-trash, complete with Euro-babes...I guess, here their Tango babes.

The beautiful nymphomaniac Ofelia (Susana Beltran) loves Gustavo (Walter Kliche). There is bad news...Ofelia's parents make her marry Eduardo...and furthermore, Gustavo is a vampire who doesn't like to be denied. On Eduardo's and Susana's wedding night, during marital sex, Gustavo flies in and slices up Eduardo and turns Susana into his vampire bride. Now Susana is upset, she'd rather be dead than bled. She is now doomed to wander the woods for eternity sporting a nice see through white negligee and seducing anyone who isn't Gustavo. Enter three babes and three hunks. This group breaks down in the Argentinian countryside and must bed down at a deserted mansion...supposedly haunted. Strange stuff occurs, we'll skip most of it.

Ofelia appears to hunk Raul (Rolo Puente) and the two have passionate sex. Meanwhile, Gustavo sneaks in and bites the three babes, including Raul's girlfriend, Laura (Gloria Prat). The next day, the gals are all missing and Raul has a spring in his step. A search for the girls eventually finds them all with bite marks on their necks. Raul calls his buddy Tito (Ricardo Bauleo) to help. He'll be a huge help as Ofelia will seduce and have passionate sex with him. Meanwhile, Gustavo visits the babes in the hospital with the intent of drinking more of their blood. Ofelia desires to be killed and Gustavo desires Tango babes...somehow, this is okay in the vampire world. Now Tito and Raul must put their hormones aside and try to save the beset babes.

If Laura recovers, how will she feel about her boyfriend banging Ofelia? Is this film a thinly veiled metaphor of how Evita Peron bled Argentina dry with her adherence to Che Guevara's Socialism? This is an erotic tale and Susana Beltran's, often nude, performance will warm and seduce you guys. For some Tango-trash and vampire eroticism, see "Blood of the Virgins."

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Transformations, Space Plague

If you are old enough you may have caught this one on late night Cinemax. The straight to video feel of this horror/science fiction epic has all the great elements we love on this blog. Slimy and toothy monsters, space-babes, the hunks that try to save them, and an irrelevant and grouchy Catholic priest with too much time on his hands (Patrick Macnee). Today we take a look at 1988's "Transformations," which can boast of gore and succubus/incubus carnage. Funny...when we throw a succubus or incubus in any plot, we have a winner.

The plot is classic. The lone crewmember, Wolf (Rex Smith), on a supply ship decides to go to sleep. As soon as he does the ship is invaded by an evil force. A slimy and toothy monster is now aboard. The fiend changes into a succubus (Pamela Prati). The succubus then has some passionate pre-marital sex with Wolf. The ship then malfunctions and crashes into a mining/prison planet. Now the succubus has infected Wolf and he starts turning monster any time his libido is aroused. He is in the infirmary and the closest thing they have to a medic is the sultry Miranda (Lisa Langlois). She's a doll and every time Wolf sees her he begins changing. Oh yeah, the prisoners are planning a revolt. Now Wolf is bored as Miranda has other duties. He explores, finds the saloon, engages in deviant sex with prostitutes, changes into a monster...and kills the prostitutes.

Father Christopher (Macnee) knows what is going on, but he is dull and irrelevant so no one pays any attention to him. Miranda emerges as a virgin and loves Wolf. Wolf's metamorphosis seems to be quickening. Now the prisoners make their move and abduct Wolf and Miranda. They need a pilot to steer the spaceship they stole. The prisoners want to rape Miranda and the female prisoner, Antonia (Cec Verrell) wants to do the same to Wolf. Not knowing Wolf is a monster in the making, the prisoners, even though they have all the guns, may be at a disadvantage. 

Will the love of the virgin Miranda be enough to help Wolf shed this monster curse? Will Wolf or his inner monster try to rescue Miranda from being soiled by the inmates? If he survives, will Wolf lust more after the succubus or Miranda? Miranda is a doll and a forgiving sort...which is important if your boyfriend is a homicidal alien creature who loves prostitutes. This is a terrific space horror/science fiction story with a lot of bloody sex (all pre-marital) and some nice gore. Directed by Jay Kamen, "Transformations" is a terrific 80s horror film that most haven't seen.  

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Sociopath, A Short Film by Tressa Graves

Beautiful? Can a brutal, vicious, misogynistic film be beautiful? When we discuss early 1970 drive-in cinema, beautiful isn't a word we use. Grainy, exploitation, and depraved are more familiar words for that sub-genre. Still, what Tressa Graves has given us here is a film shot in the style of those early 1970s nasty classics, but with an air of diminutive beauty and cinematic sensitivity. I will even hazard to call Tressa Graves' horrific tale a musical...stay tuned. Inspired, sadly, by all too true events, many of you will be allured by a reality that is a horrible stain in our society.

Michelle (Ashley Foster) is a sultry songstress...or was. We'll be treated midway through this 28 minute film as she tells us her story through song. A few years ago Michelle's world changed. All she desired was to share her beautiful voice and songs with a world so in need of beauty and kindness. In horror, these pristine characters usually meet with slaughter, An evil stalker (Gary L. Minix) attaches himself to her plight. Michelle attempted to fight back using legal means. Unfortunately, when dealing with the criminally insane, those fiends have all the advantages. As the authorities have their hands tied, Michelle is left on her own to either fight back or die horribly. Our pillar of virtue and good is not a fighter, sadly...she's an ambassador of love and femininity. How do you think this will end up?

Michelle's ruined dreams do not strip her of song. We'll hear her and the beauty of her voice and the passion that is narrated by it will make us horrified that an evil fiend could shut her off. Then, and we saw this coming, the empowered monster makes his move. He won't be alone. His buddy (Mike Ancrile) will join him. What they desire to do to the beautiful Michelle is brutal, misogynistic, and perverted.  Uh put an exclamation point on Michelle's humiliation and helplessness, song will also be utilized to tell the story of our vicious antagonist. Alas, Michelle's refuge (in song) is stolen and exploited by her violator. 

Does Michelle have a prayer of surviving her stalker? Will our fair damsel be left with any refuge to find comfort in, or will her misogynistic tormentor score a total destruction of our wonderful songbird? Warning: This film by Tressa Graves is a convicting dramatic effort aimed at all of us who allow the evil tones of misogyny to permeate our already broken culture and society. We plead at the silver screen that evil won't win out in "Sociopath," but perhaps we should begin acting to fix a broken criminal justice system and an entertainment culture that perpetuates the kind of evil displayed in this film. See "Sociopath," and think heavily about its messages.   

To find out more about moviemaker Tressa Graves and the film "Sociopath," explore her website by clicking on this link: Tressa Graves