Sunday, March 28, 2021

Prehistoric Women, Men and Women Getting Together...for the First Time

The sultry Laurette Luez!  Yep, 34-24-35!  Today we don't see a women's measurements given out.  This is probably because many actresses can surgically select parts of these measurements.  In 1950 these measurements were a big deal.  Plus, if the costume in a film were a skimpy animal skin, measurements would need to be known...I guess.  Today we look at 1950's "Prehistoric Women," directed by Gregg G. Tallas.  Sultry women in heat need men and the men are clueless.  In prehistoric times this was the case...and we are back to those times here in 2021.  Alas nubile sorority gals nowadays can only find slashers and sex maniacs.

As our film begins a tribe of women in prehistoric times is in heat.  Clad in some alluring animal skins, these beauties dance, gyrate, contort, and moan.  They have never seen men.  Tigri (Luez) and her buddies dance a lot, skinny-dip, and hunt.  Uh oh, the evil nine-foot Guadi (Johann Petursson) hunts the babes. The babes usually get away.  A hunting party of men (ick!) wanders into the females' territory.  The men are led by hunk Engor (Allan Nixon).  The babes attack and capture many of Engor's party.  These captured men will be tied up, beaten, humiliated, as the conquering babes are really aroused, now.  Engor escapes and regroups.  The brute accidentally discovers fire and doubles back to rescue his mates.

The babes, after fighting off Guadi again, find Engor and capture him.  Tigri takes a liking to this sweaty does her tribe-mate Arva (Mara Lynn).  Arva tries to make a move for Engor and Tigri beats the snot out of her in a gratuitous cat-fight. Yes! The men are content, for now, in letting the babes tie them up and lead them around on leashes.  No, Tigri and her femmes don't have leather garb and whips...yet.  Engor gets bored and leads a revolt.  There will be much fighting and the babes will end up where they usually do...on the bottom.  Still, Tigri, Arva, and the rest of the vixens have another appeal. As the dinosaurs get ready to attack, and Guadi returns, the two groups are in peril from much more than each other.

Who will ultimately win the battle between Engor's tribe and Tigri's tribe?  Is Tigri's 34-24-35 frame too good to be beaten and tamed?  Are a women's measurements the big reason why the 21st century has no answer for Lana Turner, Carole Landis, and Mamie van Doren?  Perhaps a sad foretelling of the fate of women in Hollywood today, or perhaps just a gratuitous exploitation film with sweaty babes with great figures in much peril.  Either way, "Prehistoric Women" is a must see for those yearning for a women's measurements to make a return to the IMDB page. 

Friday, March 26, 2021

Pickaxe, High School Hunks and Babes Die Horribly

Insaniacs get no respect.  Driven to madness by a prudish world, their creativity and keen sense of the presence of evil is something we could all learn from.  They get put away in psychiatric wards while nymphomaniac teenagers desiring to see the band Sacrilegious Desecration are told they are the future of society.  That is what today's film is about...and here is a treat...Tiffany Shepis is our insaniac …yes! 2014's "Pickaxe" is a slasher film that pays homage to the 1980s slasher era.  Gore, nudity, and pre-marital sex will rule the day, a metaphor for 2021 America.

After decapitating her boyfriend, the beautiful and nude Dana (Michelle Ellen Jones) does a bloody dance over Alex Black's burial plot.  Yep...this alluring satanic rite brings the pickaxe killing serial killer back from the dead.  He was killed by Adrienne (Shepis) and Sheriff Mathews (A. Michael Baldwin) six years ago after butchering a mess of horny campers.  Adrienne was sent to a mental asylum where she claims she saw the resurrected Alex butcher the staff.  Now Adrienne is back in town as a lunatic drunk...albeit a pretty lunatic drunk. She insists Alex is back but Mathews reassures her he died many years ago.  Then Alex starts picking off babes and hunks with either a pickaxe or bloody strangulation.

Okay, the idiot high schoolers, led by slut Jamie (Elizabeth Redpath), sneak away to a cabin for the weekend.  The teens want to see the aforementioned metal band perform.  Heather (Ashley Marie Zgabay) is fairly clean cut, but will show her b**bs if asked.  A lot of deviant pre-marital sex will occur.  Back in town, Alex and his pickaxe deal some nice carnage and now Mathews believes Adrienne.  Too late...Sacrilegious Desecration has begun their performance.  Deviant sex will take place at the performance and our teenagers are enjoying the show.  Alex arrives and one of the best massacre scenes put on film in the past 20 years occurs.  On the run our teens show their stupidity and run back to the cabin.  Adrienne and Mathews arrive and square off against Alex...and the real fun begins.

Will any of our teens survive the pickaxe of Alex Black?  Will lunatic Adrienne have what it takes to off Alex Black a second time?  Has Alex Black delivered mercy to America by ending the tour of Sacrilegious Desecration?  Gore and nudity will abound.  Ms. Shepis gives us a terrific lunatic.  Director Jeremy Sumrall knows what we want and delivers it in fine fashion.  All you 1980s slasher fans, see "Pickaxe."     

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Kitty Kills, Call Me Pussy

She's beautiful.  She is clad in a leather dominatrix type bikini. She murders a lot of guys.  She has an erotic lap dance.  She seduces in hot tubs.  Most of all, she wants to be called "Pussy."  Today we look at a 2017 film by Gabriel Black, "Kitty Kills" (aka "Pussy Kills").  Lina Maya delivers a tour-de-force performance in the title role...and in addition to pulling off the role of a brutal killer...she looks just fine in that aforementioned black bikini outfit.

Susie (Maya) begs Detective Jameson (Kraig Million) to arrest the evil gang responsible for her parents murders.  He is a slow worker, so Susie grabs a camera and does surveillance on the gang.  Davis (Izzy Martinez), the gang leader, catches her filming one of his murders...and abducts her.  Susie will then be brutally gang raped by a lot of Izzy's guys, suffocated, and left for dead.  Uh oh for Izzy and his minions...she isn't dead.  Now she dons an erotic cat costume...a very tight leotard.  This get-up will last for the first fiver or six murders, and then she'll change into the bikini one.  One by one she tracks down gang members and offs them with a knife...usually after seducing them.  Oh, this gang...they have more members than the Miami Dolphins.  

See, Susie snapped during her gang rape.  An alternate personality took over.  She'll tell the gang bangers, "My name is Pussy."  Consider this an erotic "Death Wish."  The big difference is Charles Bronson didn't decimate as many people as Pussy will.  The psycho-cat will find her way into hot tubs, showers, and beds in her quest to kill dozens of her rapists. There is a problem for our very alluring Pussy...the very alluring Susie isn't gone, and when she returns, Davis and his thugs have another shot at gang rape.

Will Pussy get a chance to slice up every gang member before Susie comes back to get gang raped for a second time?  Will the inept Detective Jameson turn his attentions to capturing the bikini clad killer?  Is the vicious leather bikini killer a reaction to the inept #MeToo movement?  This is a brutal one and the kill count will be massive.  This film will average a bloody killing every three and a half minutes...yes!  For an erotic gore-fest in which the lovely Lina Maya will seduce all you guys...see "Kitty Kills."     

Monday, March 22, 2021

Guilt, Pedophiles in Peril

Jeffrey Epstein and his customers beware.  The villain in today's film probably will not be viewed as the 'bad guy.' "Justice is mine...sayeth the Lord."  Well, in the Bible yes...but in revenge films when angry victims arm themselves...a different story.  Light sentences for pedophiles are an evil of the justice systems of western civilization today.  If you are a donor to the Clinton Foundation, you may even escape those sentences.  Today's film, 2020's "Guilt," from Australia and directed by Karl Jenner and Lyndsay Sarah may be the film big time political donors don't want you to see.

A serial killer is loose in Sydney.  Recently released pedophiles who served light sentences are being murdered.  Former child victim and psychologist Jessie (Janet Shay) is the culprit.  We see Jessie abducting these pedophiles, torture them...and kill them.  No great loss.  The pretty Detective Swan (Kristy McKenzie) is on the case but Jessie is smooth.  Jessie is certainly pained because of her awful childhood and she becomes an expert assassin...later we learn how.  Now she sets her sight on Grace (Hayley Flowers)...a real demon, seemingly.  Grace helped her boyfriend abduct, torture, abuse, and send dozens of children into white slavery.  She got off light after charming the sentencing judge.

Jessie is good.  She studies Grace and moves in.  Uh oh...Mitchell (Tom Wilson) re-emerges.  Five years ago, as a child, Jessie got him to open up about the abuse her endured.  So taken with Mitchell's story, Jessie tracked down the offender and offed him.  All isn't what it may appear...hence the biblical warning mentioned above. As more pedophiles die horribly at the hands of Jessie, a plot twist may have us looking at Jessie just a little bit differently.  Detective Swan slowly puts some clues together and Jessie seems to be having moments of doubt as she must face, not who she was, but who she has become.

What revelation does Mitchell have for Jessie?  Is Jessie an angel protecting the good peeps of Australia or just a vicious serial killer?  Did Jessie have access to the passenger logs on Jeffrey Epstein's private airplane?  This is a different kind of serial killer film.  More important than what Jessie may have become is your own feelings toward her at the end of this film.  For a thought provoking vengeance-fest, see "Guilt."  

Saturday, March 20, 2021

House of the Living Dead, Mad Scientist in the Attic

We shouldn't be judgmental. After all, most of us have laboratories in either our basement or attic. We've toiled with creating life from dead things, curing cancer, and genetically altering human test subjects to create the invincible soldier of the 21st century. The CDC and FDA would love to shut us down because we aren't required to go through diversity training and we don't recycle. Still, the real genius in science is apart from government funded nonsense. As Big Pharma researches new ways to make sex organs bigger, our good old mad-scientist dabbles in matters of the soul and invincibility. Hence 1974's "House of the Living Dead," a film from South Africa directed by Ray Austin.

Breck is a mad-scientist, through and through. He is confined, because of insanity, to the attic in a plantation mansion where he has his laboratory. In that lab he separates the souls from animals (and humans), and keeps the disembodied auras in jars. His brother Michael (Mark Burns) runs the plantation. His fiancé, Mary Anne (Shirley Anne Field) is arriving from England. She's very pretty and doesn't know about the insanity prevalent in Michael's family. She arrives and no one is happy to see her. The Lady of the estate, Michael's mom (Margaret Inglis) demands she go back. Mary Anne should have listened. Still, she stays and is forbidden to meet Breck who stays in the attic except when he prowls the fields for human test subjects.

People begin showing up murdered around the plantation. Voodoo drums sound in the distance. Michael becomes more distant from the lovely Mary Anne. As the bloodshed gets closer and even enters the mansion, it is apparent that Mary Anne is in peril. She tries to reach out for help but her maid-servant is brutally murdered. Now the forces of the house (attic actually) have set their sights on the nubile damsel. The last 20 minutes of this film are wild and it is doubtful you have ever heard anyone scream as well, and for as long, as Mary Anne. Oh yes...what exactly is in the attic? You'll see.

Will Mary Anne wise up and leave this god-forsaken plantation? What plans does the mad-scientist in the attic have for the nubile damsel? Can Michael get a clue and do something to save Mary Anne from a fate worse than death? This is a chilling one with brilliant and creepy sets. The insanity seems to grow more profound as the film goes does Mary Anne's peril. For a good-old fashioned mad-scientist in a haunted mansion tale, see "House of the Living Dead." 

Thursday, March 18, 2021

The Yesterday Machine, The Majorette vs. Hitler

Today's schoolkids are taught a Nazi is someone who wants lower taxes and doesn't recycle.  Trust me...I want lower taxes and don't I know.  In 1963, when "The Yesterday Machine" was made, Americans actually knew what a Nazi was.  Many fought them in Europe.  Right about 1963, America began losing their fear of Hitler returning with the 4th Reich.  When World War 2 ended, the only evidence we had of Hitler's death was the Soviets claimed he was.  Who believes them?  As the years went on, it was apparent the fiend was indeed gone.  Hence, a fun film was made pitting Hitler and his minions up against a nubile majorette...hey, why not?

The film begins with a gratuitous twirling routine by the nubile majorette Margie (Linda Jenkins).  She and her boyfriend, Howie (Jay Ramsey) are stranded after their car dies on the way to the game.  Seeking help, they are accosted by two Civil War soldiers.  Howie is shot and Margie is sucked into another time. A cop, Lt. Partana (Tim Holt), and reporter Jim (James Britton) investigate.  Howie is interviewed at a hospital after a doctor pulls two Civil War slugs out of his back.  Margie is still missing.  When Sandy (Ann Pelligrino), Margie's sister, a hot nightclub songstress is told, she joins the hunt for the missing Margie, too.

As Jim and Sandy comb the area Margie was last seen, they too are sucked into a different time...1789.  After they are accused of witchcraft, a no no in 1789, they are then sucked into the laboratory of Hitler's top scientist Dr, van Hauser (Jack Herman).  Hauser is happy to have three prisoners.  He has plans for them.  The Nazi scientist will use them as test subjects and catapult them forward into time …Margie the leggy majorette will go first.  Now Jim and Sandie must escape their cells and rescue Margie before being sent to an unknown time.  Uh oh...van Hauser's ultimate plan?  It is an ambitious one and will bring Hitler back for all eternity.

Will the nubile Margie make it into the future and make Maxim's '100 sexiest women' list?  Will Jim and Sandy be able to thwart the emergence of the 4th Reich? Does van Hauser know that the Germany of the European Union has already conquered Europe?  It is nice to see a movie from a time when Americans still knew what Nazis were.  Maybe our modern misguided definitions of 'Nazi' will enable the emergence of a 4th Reich after all.  For a fun and irreverent look at a time-machine science fiction film, see "The Yesterday Machine," directed by Russ Marker.

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Bloodsucking Freaks, S&M Theater

If you have a yearly quota of S&M, torture, whippings, and naked babes in your movie watching choices, 1976's "Bloodsucking Freaks" (directed by Joel M. Reed) will fill it. Perverted, misogynistic, and quite gory is our film today. Cannibalism, and weird sex fetishes will dominate a plot of dismemberment and the humiliation of beautiful women. So waste your time on stupid DC or Marvel garbage if you must, but don't be ashamed if you find yourself drawn to this gore-fest.

Sardu (Seamus O'Brien) runs the Theater of the Macabre in Soho. His audiences pay top dollar to watch his productions. Sardu tortures sultry dames on the stage and eventually disembowels them for his audience. The audiences believe the killings are fake...or staged. They're not. One night football player Tom (Niles McMaster) and ballerina Natasha (Viju Krem) are in the audience. Sardu is infatuated with the blonde dancer and has his perverted midget assistant Ralphus (Luis De Jesus) abduct her. Natasha will be brainwashed and lick Sardu's boots. Sardu has a jail cell filled with naked babes who refuse to obey him and occasionally eats them. A sultry woman is being tortured in virtually every scene.

Who would watch this garbage? I ask the same question about the new "Wonder Woman" films. We see Sardu's torture of the pretty ballerina and her eventual succumbing to the brainwashing. Now she serves only to please him and dance for his Theater of the Macabre. Boyfriend Tom and a corrupt cop are her only chance at escape...but she no longer wants escape. As Sardu chops up more babes and shows us more ways to humiliate them, Natasha begins rehearsing for a gory dance number. Sardu has some naked babe dominatrix trustees who will relish in their task of whipping the blonde Natasha. Sick and twisted...but all great fun.

Will Tom and the cop be able to rescue a brainwashed Natasha? What will be the fate of the caged naked babes? Is the treatment of women by Sardu a metaphor for the treatment of actresses on Broadway and Hollywood? Gory, perverted, and alluring (in a sick way), "Bloodsucking Freaks" is a 1970s horror film you will not want to miss...especially if you like to see nubile blondes in black boots and S&M outfits humiliated...and those peeps are indeed out there.

To view BLOODSUCKING FREAKS free on the Forgotten Horror YouTube channel, click on this link Bloodsucking Freaks on YouTube

Sunday, March 14, 2021

Bride of the Werewolf, The Mummy as the Best Man

The Werewolf! The Mummy! Dr. Frankenstein! Throw those fellows into the mix at a wedding and I may actually want to go to that wedding. Maybe. The Polonia Bros. Entertainment graces us with yet another fun and gory horror film. Directed by Mark Polonia, 2019's "Bride of the Werewolf" is our feature today. You can be certain this is a far superior film than the Sting/Jennifer Beals film, "The Bride." 

Dr. Stein (Tony Brown) is conducting his experiments at an Eastern European castle. Like many of us in our basement or attic labs, the mad-scientist is looking for the secrets of immortality. He believes the mummy he has in his possession will help him in this. Meanwhile three hunters are shredded by a werewolf (James Carolus) in nearby woods. On cue, Stein's beautiful niece, Sylvia (Mel Heflin), and her sultry pal Joan (Anna Tomic) come for a visit. The two gals want pre-marital sex with men so go into town to find it...they are not successful. They are warned not to go out at night as the woods are cursed. On their way back three thugs try to carjack and rape them. A mysterious savior and his crossbow saves them. They find refuge in the house of Saul (Jade Michael LaFont).

The gals are charmed by Saul. He has a housemate, the disfigured Miranda the Witch (Natalie Himmelberger). Soon the gals will find out Saul is a werewolf. When the thugs come back looking to rape the gals, Saul turns into a werewolf. The ensuing battle will be bloody and heartbreaking. Now Sylvia is really turned on. Like American men, I guess the pickings in eastern Europe are pretty neutered. The two will fall in love. Now Sylvia brings Saul to meet her uncle. She is confident he can cure his lycanthropy. Stein is ecstatic and confident he can help...and re-animate the mummy in his lab. How are they related? Just go with it. This film also has some brief but nice performances from old pal Jeff Kirkendall and Jamie Morgan.

Is the werewolf a metaphor for eastern Europe's desire to make their men men again? Will Joan and Sylvia engage in a cat-fight for the werewolf's attentions? Does the mummy really need a smooth segue into the plot to be a worthwhile plot device? This one is a lot of fun, just as any Polonia Brothers film is. For a good time and some nice gore, see "Bride of the Werewolf."


Friday, March 12, 2021

Sex Terrorists on Wheels, MotorPsycho Maniacs

A sultry undercover Texas Ranger clad only in a sombrero, a shawl, and cowboy boots! Yes! She'll be a nubile damsel in much distress endangered by everyone she meets in the Texan wilderness.  Rape, bondage, and pursued as prey will try her.  Today we look at Stefan Ruf's "Sex Terrorists on Wheels" (on TubiTV as "MotorPsycho Maniacs"), from 2019.  Gratuitous to the max with heavy gore and an elongated lesbian skinny-dipping scene, our feature today will fulfill your prurient least for a day or two.

Enyo (Larissa Day) is a veteran of the clusterf**k in Syria.  She killed people there...a modern day Vietnam.  Now she is an undercover Texas Ranger pursuing a biker gang called the Sex Terrorists.  Lobo (Justin Henry) leads the gang of cannibalistic deviants.  His main gal, Jezebel (Jecca Bitner), desires Lobo to love only her.  The gang scalps and rapes everyone they meet.  Liver Eater Jack (Gregory Kelly) rips out their victim's liver and makes jerky out of it.  Uh oh...The Sex Terrorists get the drop on Enyo and two more Texas Rangers.  All the Rangers will be raped.  Enyo escapes but her two compadres will be cut up, scalped, and eaten.

Now Enyo leads her tormentors on a chase up Devil's Mountain.  Befriending her is Ezra (Gary Kent).  He's a blind marksman living with nature.  Ezra was a killer soldier during Vietnam and now talks to animals.  The two are waiting for the Sex Terrorists.  As Jezebel has some gratuitous skinny-dipping lesbian sex, Lobo and Liver Eater rape a pair of campers.  A final confrontation is inevitable.  Enyo may seem cool, but Jezebel wants her...and so does Lobo...but for what?

Will Enyo's bitter experiences in Syria help convince Biden to stop bombing them?  Will Lobo and Jezebel square off to see which one gets to claim Enyo as their pet?  Will the often nude Enyo use seduction and her sombrero to lure the pursuing Sex Terrorists?  This is a gratuitous one that pays homage to the old spaghetti westerns.  For some gratuitous (there's that word again) nudity, gore, and cannibalism, see "Sex Terrorists on Wheels."

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Quadrant 9EV9, Mutants Attack Babes and Hunks

This one is not going to get a lot of love. However, 2016's "Quadrant 9EV9" has some strong points...a great looking cast. Sure some will die horribly, but not before a nice bikini scene and some mutant carnage. All right...I understand. You might be pulling for the mutants in this one, still...we are in suspense to find out if the mutants will abduct Lexi (Dominique Storelli), and if they do...what will they do with her. Directed by David Maga, "Quadrant 9EV9" is a far superior film than any of the idiotic DC or Marvel garbage.

Back in 1972 the U.S. military did human experimentation in order to make a perfect killing machine soldier. These experiments did not go well as they created monsters. The program was shut down and 45 years later, those experiments survive in an underground bunker. This won't be good for the very ravishing Lexi. The pretty blonde goes on an astronomy trip with hunk Mike (Michael Huntsman), his grouchy gal, Samantha (Jennifer Churchich), a nerd, Derrick (Daniel Will George), and a jock, Jason (Jered Leedy). Everyone ogles Lexi who loves to show off her stuff. This makes Samantha mad...and grouchy. They set up a campsite. Derrick, Samantha, and Jason go looking for something and find the underground bunker.

As Lexi and Mike bond at the campsite, the other three break into the bunker...and it is not deserted. Jason accidentally kills some scientist and then accidentally cuts off power. They also see some cells with monster mutants inside. They run but do not realize the mutants are set loose. Now, after a nice Lexi and Samantha in a bikini scene, the attacks begin. A bunch of mutants beset the campers. Lexi and Mike will continue to get close as Samantha continues sneering and huffing. We get a nice backstory as to who these mutants were before becoming mutants. Overcome with rage, and freed after decades, the beautiful and handsome will be hunted by these things. Lexi will find an axe, Mike some dynamite...but they're not fighters.

Will the mutants be as attracted to the sultry Lexi as the humans are? Will Samantha cooperate with the mutants if it means the mutants will rip Lexi's...well, never mind. Just how many of these underground bunkers dot the American landscape with mutant soldiers just itching to bust out and find bikini blondes? Better than anything George Clooney has ever done, and with an alluring performance by Dominique Storelli, "Quadrant 9EV9" is a good take for a Friday movie night.   

Monday, March 8, 2021

The Row, Randy Couture, Bikini Babes, and a Slasher

MMA fighter Randy Couture and UFC champion graces our blog today.  With a face hardened by several fist fights, his charm is balanced by the arrogance and pheromones of a sultry sorority.  In fact, his grunts are way outnumbered by sorority chicks clad in bikinis, lingerie, or nothing.  The sorority chicks will flirt, drink heavily, do drugs, die naked in the shower, have their limbs severed, or be gutted by a collegiate slasher.  I dare you to tell me 2018's "The Row" (directed by Matty Beckerman) doesn't sound perfect.

During a bust gone wrong, Detective Cole (Couture) shoots his partner.  He gets suspended.  The widowed cop now gets to move his hot daughter, Riley (Lala Kent) into her college dorm.  He'll hit the bottle and she'll be recruited by the hottest sorority in the history of mankind, Phi Lambda.  During hazing, all the nubile pledges are abducted by the sisters, stripped to their Victoria's Secret undies, hosed down, and humiliated during a sleazy game of hide and seek. Oh yes, sorority sister Isabell (Sarah McDaniel) is gutted.  Riley discovers the body as she hides under her bed.  The cops, and her dad are summoned.  Undeterred, Riley joins the sorority. Uh oh...a family secret!  Riley's mom, who committed suicide many years ago was also a member of this sorority.

No one wants to talk about her mom, so Riley tries to find out about her.  Her dad, Cole, won't tell her anything and either will sultry house mother Nina (Jennifer Titus).  Another murder...Laura (Katelyn McMullen) is gutted.  Get this!  Laura's legs were taken by the killer and Isabell's arms were taken.  Cole realizes the slasher is putting together a doll from human parts.  There is a suspect!  After another murder or two and some gratuitous shower action, Carter (Dylan Sprayberry) is arrested.  He had pre-marital sex with each of the victims just before their demises.  Cole believes this is too easy...and he's right.  Now Riley is in the crosshairs of the slasher.

Just what is the secret of Riley's mom and why did she commit suicide when Riley was a small child? Will the hard hitting UFC champ be able to protect his daughter and find the real killer?  Is it really a great tragedy to see oversexed sorority sisters die horribly in states of undress?  This is a gratuitous one with a lot of gratuitous bikini, shower, lingerie nudity, gore, and pre-marital sex action.  For a film experience that will satisfy your prurient instincts see "The Row." 

Saturday, March 6, 2021

The Stylist, Shorten the Bangs and Remove the Scalp

Having our hair cut or styled is a very accepted form of vanity in today's society. We must look good.  Society demands it! However, think of this...would you allow your plumber to put bladed weapons up to your neck? Would you allow the exterminator or the Amazon delivery guy to hold a knife or scissors to your jugular? What exactly do you know about the dame that styles your hair? Would you still go to her if you knew she was a total homicidal nut-job, just because she does a fine job with hair? Today we look at 2020's "The Stylist," directed by Jill Gevargizian.

She does do a good job. Hair stylist Claire (Najarra Townsend). She is good looking and listens well...too well for your own good, in fact. Sarah (Jennifer Seward) will be her first victim as the movie begins...though many preceded her. Sarah tells Claire all she needs to know about her. A little poison, some scissors...and off comes Sarah's scalp. Now Sarah's head of hair is a macabre wig for Claire's vanity. In Claire's defense...she merely wants to fit in. More victims will fall. Sadly, many of them will be ladies we like and sympathize with. Claire is a homicidal lunatic. She may have delusion issues. She seems to believe that adopting the hair and scalp of those she murders, that their social graces may also seep into her head.  Go figure...this doesn't work.

Here comes our damsel, who will soon be endangered. Olivia (Brea Grant) needs Claire to do her hair for her wedding this weekend. Uh Olivia, Claire sees someone she would like to be. Claire begins stalking her in secret. The nut-job stylist begins socializing with Olivia. Unfortunately the success of this move is short term. As Claire murders some more pretty women and takes their scalps, she gets mor unwound. Now Claire has a plan and it is obvious Olivia will be part of it. We gasp and hold our breath as it is apparent that Olivia has no clue to Claire's insanity...even though she should.

What is Claire's grand strategy for Olivia and her wedding? Can we forgive a pretty hair stylist's homicidal tendencies if that stylist does a great job and only charges $65? This is a gory one which will have you shielding your eyes a few times. The killings are, at times, heartbreaking. Before you get highlights in your hair or add curls...see "The Stylist." 

Thursday, March 4, 2021

The Mourning, Aliens and Letting Go

The living have it easy.  The dead go on to Heaven or...well, never mind.  Loved ones depart this mortal coil and we are left to deal with guilt, lost love, missed opportunities, and words never said.  This is worse when the recently deceased wasn't supposed to go yet.  A young one with a future still ahead of him and early stages of love still to grow and shape.  If only we had a chance at a last conversation.  If only we could have told him (fill in the blank).  Nonsense, of course, they aren't coming back...but what if they do?  Today we look at 2015's "The Mourning," directed by Marc Clebanoff.  

The war! Seemed to make sense at the time. Now, not so much.  As the grayness that history delivers us envelopes our perspective, so does our guilt of those lost in conflict.  Aaron (Michael Rene Walton) is one such casualty.  Killed in Desert Storm. He left a beautiful girlfriend and loving family.  In a haunting and unnerving opening...he comes back. Naked and disorientated he finds himself in the woods next to his hometown. 

 In a fog he goes home...but guess what...its not his home anymore. David (Louis Mandylor), the sheriff is summoned.  Uh oh...David is Aaron's brother-in-law.  Now the eeriness ramps up.  David was in Desert Storm.  He was also there when Aaron was killed in combat. Shock and awe! David makes a decision based on his desire to bring back lost opportunity and assuage guilt, at the expense of solid law enforcement investigation.

That's fine.  The investigators arrive.  A mysterious blonde black-suit (Dominique Swain).  She obviously knows a lot more and David seems alarmed at her knowledge.  Maybe David does know more...but the facts are what he fears.  Aaron is a hit!  Still not talking his family and friends are shocked.  Andrea (Kinga Phillips), David's wife and Aaron's sister is superb and stunning as a grieving sister viciously pulled out of her lifetime of mourning.  Ripped into an unreal act of a macabre stage drama, no one knows what to say or how to act.  Aaron appears to be an otherworldly mirror in which David, Kinga, and so many more can examine the genuineness of their love and human motives.  Hence guilt and sorrow creep into our characters lives.  A chance at redemption?  A chance to say good-bye in a proper manner?  Wait...good-bye? Why not hello, after all Aaron has returned?  A dark pall is moving in and it is apparent Aaron's return may be short-lived.

Kudos to Brooke Lewis Bellas.  Her role as a frisky bar hopper helps propel this sentimental and syrupy science fiction drama into a conclusion that will deliver desperation and transformation for David, Andrea, and their loved ones.  Where has David been for the past couple of decades?  Who or what brought him back...and why?  Are forever hidden secrets a bigger threat to us than alien invasion?  Oh...that last question...well, you'll see.  The mourning we endure after the loss of a loved one is never a perfect endeavor.  Still, it is needed and natural.  Throw in aliens and men (or women) in black and enjoy "The Mourning." 

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

The Black Waters of Echo's Pond, Truth or Dare Carnage

Do yourself a time you get called upon in the game Truth or Dare...just lie. Tell your friends that you killed a man while you were tripping out on acid. Throw in that you killed him because your dog told you he was the anti-Christ. You're buddies will be satisfied and leave you alone. But no! Blokes feel compelled to tell the truth. What usually follows is...well, what follows is what happens in 2009's "The Black Waters of Echo's Pond," directed by Gabriel Bologna. Incidentally, do non-attractive people ever play Truth or Dare? 

Nine great looking friends find an isolated Maine island for a romantic and sex-filled getaway. The creepy caretaker, Pete (Robert Patrick) menaces them the whole time with a shotgun and beartraps. Some of the friends include Veronique (Mircea Monroe), a bimbo B movie actress and her boob-job, and Kathy (Danielle Harris). When the lights go out, the friends find an ancient game that was buried in Turkey...don't ask. They begin to play and it is a demonically controlled Truth or Dare thing. The friends start telling their sordid secrets and confess lusts for one another. One such dare has Kathy and Veronique engaging in lesbian sex. Another has some sultry twins (Electra and Elise Avellan) having a foursome with their two boyfriends.

Uh oh...secrets revealed lead to bloody homicide. Rick (James Duval) is now a target for everyone as he has seemed to tick everyone off in his life. Kathy's husband Trent (Walker Howard) will use pliers on teeth and a chainsaw to rip apart his brother. A spear gun, knives, and beartraps will cause much havoc. The sultry twins will have a nice skinny-dipping scene and then try to rip off Veronique's implants. Each murder will be gorier than the previous as no babe or hunk is immune from the curse of this ancient artifact. Lust, greed, bloody secrets, and jealousy will be used by the demonic entity to taunt the hunks and babes, but will anyone be able to fight off the spell?

Will the sultry twins succeed in ripping off Veronique's implants and other organs they covet? Will everyone's villain Rick suddenly become a hero and save at least some of his pals? Is this plot merely a metaphor of what happens when drunk twenty-somethings play Candyland and Sorry with weed and Jack Daniels present? This is a bloody one and the cast provides great cheesecake and beefcake. For a great idea for a game night, watch "The Black Waters of Echo's Pond."