Friday, June 5, 2020

Ouija Shark, When Spirit Animals Bite

However much we all like shark films, we still yearn for gritty reality. "Jaws" was a great film but a rifle round just won't penetrate a SCUBA tank. Now, finally, we have a shark film that adheres to reality, and that's what makes this one scary. This Brett Kelly epic will take Spielberg to school...and also flirt with the paranormal crowd. So let us mix our shark epics with paranormal scares and enjoy 2020's "Ouija Shark."
Jill (Steph Goodwin) sheds down to her bikini and wades in the water. She feels as if she is not alone and as she runs out of the drink, she almost trips on a piece of driftwood. But wait! The driftwood is a Ouija Board. This find will cause her to have weird dreams/visions of a shark. She will join her hot looking girlfriends at a pool party. As the six bikini gals drink alcohol, smoke marijuana, and frolic in the water, boredom sets in. See, only the ravishing Tiffany (Amy Osborne) has found a guy...hence a gratuitous bikini car-wash scene.  Jill has an idea...always a good one, with hte Ouija Board.
The gals do just that and find a wayward spirit who only says "HUNGRY." A moment later, a flash, and a shark ghost jumps out of the board. Now the ghost shark is loose and immediately feeds on two horny teens (Taryn Waldorf and Kyle Martellacci). The thing returns to the pool party and begins going through Jill's bikini friends like crap through a goose. Some of the deaths are heartbreaking as Tiffany gets it running through the woods...eaten, that is. Now the cops are called in...they won't fare well. As Jill figures out a way to stop the shark a celestial battle in the spirit world must be won in order to save at least some bikini girls.
If the Ouija Board summoned spirit shark was featured in Spielberg's "Jaws," instead of that clumsy mechanical Bruce, might "Jaws" have been a hit? Is there such a thing as a bad movie which includes bikini babes being shredded by razor shark teeth? Can Jill's final foray into the spirit world serve to save at least one bikini babe? This is a film that every one of you will relate to. The gritty reality of the plot, and frolicking bikini babes will speak to every one of your senses. Fore some nice cheese and shark attack carnage...see "Ouija Shark."

1 comment:

  1. Wonderful, it's inspired me to write another post, great points you brought up, bikini babes are the crowd pleaser!!