Wednesday, May 20, 2020

The Undertaker, Necrophilia and Other Sick Horror

I admit's feature is a sick one. redeeming value here. Perversion and sick horror! This one only tickles our prurient senses making us more depraved every minute we leave it on. Still, this one is much more preferable than any film Cate Blanchett or Daniel Day Lewis have ever done...1988's "The Undertaker." You have been warned...feel free to stop reading now.
Roscoe (Joe Spinell) is a weird and sweaty undertaker. He likes to have sex with corpses as he disembowels them. Okay...stop...I warned you not to read any further...but did you listen? Yep, as our film begins he collects Mary (Linda Ipanema), a beauty with a tight skirt and some nice heels. So sad, he'll slit her throat and...well, you'll see. After a gratuitous strip out of naughty undies scene, Jean (Mette Holt), the mayor's sultry secretary, is next. So sad. I'm not even going to tell you about Nancy (Lisa Vondal) and Angela (Nita Kling) won't believe it. Who can stop him? Fortunately at the university there is a babe professor, Pam (Rebecca Varon) who loves doing gratuitous aerobics, and is an expert on...necrophilia! I wonder if she's in the Women's Studies Department?
One of her students's, the hunk Nick (Patrick Askins) is also Roscoe's nephew. He has witnessed his uncle doing the naughty deed to the babe corpses. He tells Pam and now she investigates. She will not do too much investigating as she and her room-mate Mandy (Susan Bachli) will get naked a lot and have steamy pre-marital sex with their boy toys a lot. Roscoe keeps finding babes to abduct, torture, disembowel, and rape. As Pam is drawn into much danger, and Mandy...well, you won't believe what Roscoe does to the sultry Mandy. As Roscoe's rampage ramps up...Pam's inferior investigation skills get more babes killed.
The ending is shocking and you will need many showers to clean this grime off you. Will the nubile Pam engage in pre-marital sex with her student Nick and/or end up as Roscoe's cold love toys? Is Necrophilia a subject we absolutely don't need a horror film about? Is Pam's university breaking down sexual barriers by offering necrophilia courses? Perhaps a statement on the modern intellectual movement of America's university system...or perhaps a mere gratuitous sexual offering for the true sickos out there...either way, you have been warned, but if you have the choice between the 1980s horror extremity or a Daniel Day Lewis bore-a-thon....well, you may surprise yourself and choose "The Undertaker."

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