Sunday, May 10, 2020

The Biker Warrior Babe vs. The Zombie Babies From Hell, Enough Said

I can picture the discussion. Some schmuck asks what movies you've seen lately. You're response is 2014's "The Biker Warrior Babe vs. The Zombie Babies From Hell." His response, "Oh really, what's that about?" Really! Do you need to ask? Finally, a film that speaks to all of you who have been guilted into working in the church's nursery.
Succubus (Caitlin Bentley) and Lucrecia (Elise Eden) try to gain Satanic power by sacrificing a virgin to some demon played by Lloyd Kaufman. Uh oh...the beauty being sacrificed isn't a virgin and this causes millions of zombie babies to flood out of Hell. The babies eat everyone in their way. Meanwhile, Zipp (Brii Davis) and Melissa (Jessica Bloom) plan their weekend. Zipp is a biker chick and Melissa is a babe. Melissa and her soon to be eaten boyfriend introduce Zipp to Doc (Jake Dylman) Doc is a virgin and Zipp kind of likes him. Unbeknownst to these folks, hordes of demon babies, crying unmercifully, invade their town. They eat teens engaging in pre-marital sex, big breasted beauties taking gratuitous showers, campers seeking pre-marital sex, and other bikers.
Zipp and Doc get heroic and try to figure out what's happening. Melissa, because she is a major league babe, is along for the ride. Melissa and Zipp figure out the creeps Lucrecia and Succubus may have caused this. This duo does things like that, you know, conjure up demons. With Lucrecia eaten and Succubus now an undead zombie, herself, our trio bag Lucrecia's house for clues on how to combat the baby-horde. Yep, you guessed it...they'll need a virgin. Zipp and Melissa won't fit this bill, but Doc will. The problem, Zipp is falling in love with this dork and doesn't want to put a dagger in his heart. As the zombie babies eat their way to them, the trio will have to fight with chainsaws, rifles, pistols, axes, and sledgehammers. It will be such a beautiful thing.
Is Doc more likely to be de-virginized by Zipp or some baby-zombie? Are Zipp and Melissa too beautiful to have their innards eaten out by the baby horde? Is this film a thinly veiled metaphor on the dangers of improperly rearing our babies during the infant and toddler years? This is a fun one and the sight of so many screaming and crying babies being felled by chainsaws and sledgehammers is heartwarming. Directed by Jeremiah Morehouse, "The Biker Warrior Babe vs. The Zombie Babies From Hell" is too important of a film for you to miss.

1 comment:

  1. Crying children in movies is just as bad as a cat meowing (they both want something), great ideas, and all cut down by the chainsaws!!!