Friday, January 31, 2020

Lovely But Deadly, Cheerleaders Cat-Fight in Chopped Liver

Gloria (Pamela Jean Bryant), a sultry blonde cheerleader clad in a toga attacks pretty brunette cheerleader Lovely (Lucinda Dooling) and the ensuing cat-fight will conclude on a table smeared with chopped liver. A fitting scene given that the earlier cat-fight, in which both participated, where the entire cheerleading squad showed their talents in a massive locker room cat-fight ended in a draw. In fairness to 1981's "Lovely But Deadly," I have over-simplified this scene. To be fair I should mention creamed herring and caviar were also on that table.
This hard hitting crime drama begins as the bikini clad Lovely watches her brother die as a result of drug abuse. This high school cheerleader, who is also a karate-ninja, swears vengeance on the drug pushers and suppliers responsible for the plethora of junk at her high school. {GRATUITOUS HOT TUB MAKE-OUT SCENE IN BIKINI}. Lovely, who wields an axe well (don't ask) has a clean-cut boyfriend who is a rock singer. No time for him, as she tracks down high school supplier, seduces him at a disco, kicks the daylights out of him, and pours drugs down his throat...he won't survive. {CHEERLEADER STRIPPING IN LOCKER ROOM}. At school Lovely seems so clean cut, but with her killing skills she continues pursuing drug dealers. {ALL BABE KARATE ARMY VS LONGSHOREMEN}.
Lovely then seduces the drug dealing football captain (Rick Moser) and gets invited to a ritzy party where the aforementioned cat-fight occurs.{GRATUITOUS CHEERLEADER POOL PARTY SCENE}. Between scratching, pulling the hair, and humiliating Gloria, fishnet stocking clad Lovely meets the drug bigwigs and gathers proof of their involvement. Now with her martial arts skills and sex-appeal, she seduces the cartel leader (Richard Herd). {CHEERLEADER FLIPPED IN CAT-FIGHT}. She's capable but young, and after giving out brutal punishment, Lovely will be pummeled and taken prisoner.{CHEERLEADER FIGHTS SWORD WIELDING CLASSMATES}  Now Lovely faces execution by the drug thugs and resorts to her powers of seduction which will earn her more beatings.
Will Lovely and her seduction prowess be able to overcome her vicious captors? {MOTOR-BOAT DEMOLITION DERBY}. Will the humiliated and toga clad cheerleader captain Gloria be able to mount a counter-attack and get even with Lovely? Gratuitous and action-packed, this film will surely please. However noble of an anti-drug message this film contains, it never goes more than a few minutes before reminding us that this is a nifty exploitation work. {CHEERLEADERS SMOTHERED IN HORS D'OEUVRES}. Cheerleaders in bikinis, short skirts, or with clothes ripped off usually trumps the "just say no" message here. Directed by David Sheldon, "Lovely But Deadly" is sure to give you a bigger lift than the smack on the streets.


  1. Would love to see some drug pushers eaten by rats!!!!

  2. Love it! It truly makes me want to watch this big hair retro flick (I typically don't go much further back than Terminator 1)

  3. You had us at "Richard Herd"....those pesky Vistors were everywhere back then!!

  4. Congratulations on that lead paragraph, Mr. Zisi; truly a work of art.