Sunday, January 19, 2020

Unseen Evil, Invisible Creature and an Indian Babe

Ah Dana (Cindy Pena)! An Indian babe hired as a guide by thugs. This poor unfortunate lady will captivate us with her beauty and is the only pure soul in our story. As us guys drool over her we must endure her very unpleasant fate. She'll be pummeled by a brute, tied up and led around like a dog, be forced to bed down tied up to another babe hostage, be led around like a dog again, and then have her alluring buttocks bitten into by a monster. I know you gals are thinking, "what a way to go!" As she bleeds profusely through her tight jeans the same monster severs her jugular seeing Dana's blood spurt all over the forest as if this was a Japanese Kung Fu horror yarn. Hence 2001's "Unseen Evil.
Centuries ago ancients' seal a treasure of gold artifacts in a cave...and awaken a toothy and invisible creature. Now the aforementioned Dana is hired by Professor Peter Jensen (Richard Hatch) to guide him and his team to the cave. The good professor isn't so good and desires to loot the treasure. Accompanying Peter are two thugs (Jare Jon and Frank Ruotolo)...and his former lover/student assistant Kate (Cindi Braun). Quickly Peter's intentions become known and his men pummel the nubile Dana and put her in bondage. Now the tied up Dana is forced to lead the looters to her ancestors' sacred grounds. Kate is also a victim and she'll be tied up too, sometimes attached to Dana.
The team gets to the cave and Peter goes to work looting. As Dana challenges Williams (Jon) to a fight to the death she gets untied...and is then humiliated and sliced by the invisible creature. Now the remaining four are hunted by this thing. The survivors realize there is a relationship to the monster and the treasure, but Kate's knowledge of Indian wall-markings reveals that anyone who touches the gold will die horribly. With Dana long gone, Kate assumes the role of head-babe in this film and lays a moral guilt trip on her human tormentors...she begs them to return the gold. Nothing doing, Peter is way past caring about the ancient traditions and burial grounds of a once proud people.
Will Kate prevail given the fact that she respects the burial grounds? Is Dana's humiliating demise a sharp metaphor for the U.S. Government's continued humiliation of a once great people by looting their lands and enabling corrupt chiefs to enslave their own people in corrupt and sleazy casinos? The deaths and gore are terrific and the ending is quirky and refreshing...and of course, Dana is a joy to watch. For some gratuitous and toothy-creature fun, enjoy "Unseen Evil," directed by Jay Woelfel.


  1. Fangs, we all have them, despite trying to act civilised, if we didn't have law, we'd be fanging our best buddies for a meal!! Can't wait to meet Miss Devine, hope she fangs them back.

  2. Dana is a good example of sometimes you can live your life right and still end up screwed over in the end!