Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Skull Heads, The Dysfunctional Arkoff Family

A weird and contorted sadistic family delivered to us by Full Moon Entertainment and Charles Band. With a nod to H.P. Lovecraft, 2009's "Skull Heads" (aka "Devious") will tell an uncomfortable tale of an abomination of a family (Stop it! No! Not yours!). The final reveal will be wild, gory, and shocking, but the story itself will make you feel as if you need a shower.
Naomi Arkoff (Robin Sydney) is a normal teenager (Hah! No she's not!). She wants to listen to rock-n-roll on an iPod, make-out with cute guys, and fornicate. Yearning for this causes her dad, Carver (Steve Kramer) to haul her into the basement and put her on the rack. Yep, the dungeon has some nice torture devices. Beth (Samantha Light) believes he is too tough on Naomi, but does see the importance of keeping her away from the population. In fact every Arkoff has lived in the castle, secluded from any parts of society...but why? Oh yes, the half-wit Peter (Giacomo Gonella), Naomi's uncle, lives there and his male-sex organ is also trying to find a target. Any time Naomi expresses a desire to meet boys or go into town, Carver threatens to put her into the rack.
Oh yeah...grandpa is an invalid in the upstairs bedroom (he'll emerge in horrific fashion later). Ah, the protectors! These are little beings with skull heads who can shoot beams from their eyes and don't like visitors. Enter a three person film crew...they are in reality art thieves. Naomi, against her dad's wishes, invites them over for dinner because she wants to have carnal relations with the director Jensen (Rane Jameson). Later, the trio sneaks back into the castle to rob it of the artwork. Jensen has fallen in love with Naomi (poor schmuck) and insists on not hurting the family. Kim (Kim Argetsinger), the babe producer, wants to kill them all. Upon entering, Jensen finds Naomi on the rack in the dungeon and believes she needs rescuing as Kim starts shooting Arkoffs. This carnage activates the skull heads and now the home invaders are on the run. Oh yeah...grandpa? You'll see.  As Jensen desperately tries to save his new gal, Naomi reveals a couple of surprises which may cause the hunk Jensen to give up dating.
Just what do the skull heads have planned for the three intruders? What will happen when Naomi introduces her new beau to grandpa? What hideous secret has kept the Arkoffs hidden from the rest of the population for centuries? The ending is wild and twisted and true to Full Moon Entertainment's horrific imagination. Enjoy "Skull Heads," and be ready to feel really dirty and used after the end credits roll.


  1. Jealous dads they are the ones to watch!!! There's always a half wit to light up the show!!

  2. I definitely need to watch. I have enjoyed meeting Charles Band and having the opportunity to watch every Full Moon feature, I enjoy them immensely....and thanks to this review, it looks like I will be enjoying yet another fantastic feature from Full Moon. Thanks Christopher for this great review!

  3. If i remember correctly this one seemed pretty phoned in, like a tax write off or free vacation or something.