I have no idea where to begin. Today we have one of the best films of the last 100 years! Let's start here. Viv (Tammie Taylor), a babe and a half is having the most vicious and loud consensual pre-marital sex with her muscle-laden BF Stu (Johnny Ostensee). Primal screaming...extreme pelvic thrusts, slaps in the rear...more guttural yells. What can we add to this? Insert Ron Jeremy in the scene filming it! Perhaps this scene was filmed first and the movie makers realized they needed another 85 minutes of footage for a full length film. Now its easy...throw in more passionate pre-marital sex, a lot of nudity and gore, gratuitous bikini scenes, plenty more Ron Jeremy...and Bigfoot! Today we look at 2006's "Bigfoot at Holler Creek Canyon," directed by John Poague.
Three hunks and three babes on spring break drive to a cabin in the woods. On the way Ron Jeremy as the creepy general store clerk will warn them of bears. A redneck transvestite will also warn them (a very disconcerting scene). Jill (Anna Bridgforth) owns the cabin and is sad because her hunk BF Matt (Justin Alvarez) is cheating on her. Viv and Stu are there too and their version of sex rates a 10 on the Richter Scale. Bree (Melisa Breiner-Sanders) is quite the babe and will try to get into Danny's (Gentry Ferrell) pants. Actually, every guy in this film will make a nice attempt at pre-marital sex with each babe in this film...and vice versa...then throw in Ron Jeremy...don't even ask.
As a bacchanal orgy rages at the cabin, Bigfoot shreds everyone nearby. Soon, the hairy monster sets his sights on the spring breakers at the cabin. Viv tires of Stu and ties up Matt for deviant sex. Everyone else sheds their clothes and hooks up with whoever. Bigfoot traipses on heads and rips limbs off...one wonders if he or Ron Jeremy will get some action first. Jill yells at everyone because everyone knows her boyfriends are cheating on her...and Matt...well...he's a man's man...a guy like Matt can't be expected to tie himself down. The nubile and the brutes will have to clothe themselves, soon enough ...as Bigfoot arrives.
Sadly, not all the bold and beautiful will survive. We do like the babes, as they are pretty hot. You gals will like the hunks, they are buff and sweaty. As for Ron Jeremy and Bigfoot? Well, hairy and a tad on the disguising side. Will Bigfoot select one of the babes to carry on his bloodline? Will the violence in which Viv and Stu go at it with be turned into a fight against the hairy behemoth? For one of the greatest films ever made, see "Bigfoot at Holler Creek Canyon."
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