Friday, July 15, 2022

Vampire Bats, Xena Warrior Princess vs. Toothy Menaces

Lucy Lawless, a fine actress.  Pretty and spunky.  Her portrayal of Xena Warrior Princess may be one of the most iconic television roles in the last 50 years.  Something about a babe in leather, with a big sword, and a war cry that gets all our juices flowing.  When not slaying the minions of evil deities, this actress also kills monsters in Louisiana.  Hence our film today, 2005 "Vampire Bats," directed by Eric Bross.

Mutated vampire bats are hanging around Tate University in Louisiana.  Tate's students are all hunks and babes that live for rave parties.  Unbeknownst to the students, their next rave party will start a big mess.  As everyone is high on ecstasy, Jason (Arnie Panteja) wanders near the swamp and the monsters attack, sucking him dry. Initially, his babe friend Eden (Jessica Stroup) and her hunk BF Aaron (Brandon Henry Rodriguez) are arrested for the murders.  Maddy (Lawless), a biology professor knows her students are innocent and tries to prove they did not murder Aaron.  The bats will also drain fishermen and deer near the swamp.  Now, as Maddy and her hunk husband, Dan (Dylan Neal) attend a party on a steamboat, she gets her proof.  The horde of bats attacks the party.  At the same time, the bats attack another rave party in the tunnels under the university, eating many coeds and hunks.

Now Maddy has no trouble convincing the police and the fish and game guy, Jay (Liam White).  Game Warden Jay is a bit of a fishy character but sets out to find the bats.  Maddy and her hunk and babe students also set out.  Uh oh...cheerleader/sorority skank Rebecca (Jacque Henry) is bitten in her sleep and begins foaming at the mouth during class (mad about biology!).  Now Maddy and her kids have to come up with a good plan to find the lair and destroy all the bats.  Uh oh again...they also find out that the mutated bats may be feeding off something in the bayou. 

Is it likely that taxpayer money has been diverted from funds to kill vampire bats and into coffers to promote riverboat gambling in Louisiana?  Is this film a metaphor for the mismanagement of the Hurricane Katrina response by Mayor "School Bus" Nagin, and the idiotic Governor Kathleen Blanco?  Will Maddy don some leather warrior attire, grab a big sword, and charge into the bayou?  "Vampire Bats" is a lot of fun and will provide much beef and cheese for a nice Friday night creature feature.

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