Saturday, April 2, 2022

Marabunta: Kingdom of Ants, Bugs Eat Alaska

She's ravishing!  Julia Campbell plays Laura, a beauty who declares war on the insect world.  The babe, get this, arms herself with a shotgun (okay, I admit, not the best weapon to fight billions of ants)'ll love this...loads it with Magnesium rounds!  What are Magnesium rounds?  I'm not sure...but what sounds more alluring that "babe with Magnesium rounds in her shotgun"?  Oh, the innuendo!  Today we look at a straight to video epis, 1998's "Marabunta:  Kingdom of the Ants," directed by Jim Charleston and George Manasse.

Don't scrutinize the plot too much, here...remember...we have a babe with Magnesium rounds in her shotgun...just remember that.  Killer South American ants emerge in Alaska...trillions of them...and they're hungry.  They eat a hunk and babe honeymooning tandem...very sad.  Just by coincidence, a brilliant and handsome entomologist visits Alaska then for fishing.  Jim (Eric Lutes) is our bug scientist and he buddies up with the sheriff after skeletons are found.  Our sheriff, Sheriff Croy (Mitch Pileggi).  Croy is happy to have a bug guy in town and fixes him up with a cabin next to the beautiful Laura.  The two hit it off and make lots of goo-goo eyes at one another.  The ants get aggressive and eat half the police force.

Jim, Laura, and Croy team up and make a whole bunch of bad decisions that get so many people eaten by hordes of ants.  No matter, Laura is gonna find some Magnesium rounds for her little shotgun.  These won't do much, but what a pick-up line, "I have Magnesium rounds!"  Okay, guys. stop drooling.  Eventually a series of bad decisions causes Laura and Jim to get themselves into some dangerous situations.  Okay, the ending...remember, don't judge, here... after all, the babe has Magnesium rounds for her shotgun.

Will hunk scientist Jim find out more abut Laura than her proclivity for Magnesium rounds?  Will Magnesium rounds replace oysters and chocolate covered strawberries as the aphrodisiac of the new millennium?  What are South American killer ants doing in Alaska?  Okay, sorry, forget that last question.  When babes have Magnesium rounds, well, those ants can go to the moon for all we care.  For some fine straight-to-video fun, see "Marabunta:  Kingdom of the Ants."         

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