Friday, March 25, 2022

Fountaine and the Vengeful Nun Who Wouldn't Die, Lesbian Nuns Run Amok

It was such a beautiful thing.  Two babe nuns decapitate a thug and lovingly embrace as they're showered with the spurting blood from the poor sap's neck.  It is enough to make any good Lutheran convert to Catholicism.  Eat your heart out, Martin Luther!  Babe nuns with katana swords, chainsaws, and Kung Fu skills are an underused plot device in modern film.  Thankfully James Dean (and co-writer Louis Otero) have given us 2021's "Fountaine and the Vengeful Nun Who Wouldn't Die."

 As our story begins a corrupt priest rapes Sister Alice (Zera Lynd).  Very sad.  Forget about that, for now.  Sister Mary (Mallory Stern) is locked away in an asylum for maniacal homicidal nuns (these places are popping up even faster than CBD shops). She is there because she went unresponsive when her sister overdosed on drugs from the Fountaine organization.  There she meets the love of her life, Sister Lee (Jaclyn Tripp).  The babes fall in love and when an orderly tries to rape Lee, the two nuns decapitate him.  That act proves her sanity to the Vatican, and she is released to a weird abbey where she trains in Kung Fu with the Master (Brian Davis) and Sam (Ron Clower).

Mary is training to go after the Fountaine organization.  She also wants to find her love, Lee.  Lee has mysteriously gone rogue.  Now Mary, equipped with a katana sword, goes off on her dual quest.  Waiting for her are drug dealing nuns and priests, and a BDSM torture whore (not an official Catholic church office).  Chainsaws, decapitations, a lot of spurting blood will accompany Mary on her quest.  Intestines will be cut out, heads will fly, throats will be ripped out...and Mary will seek to find Lee for a deep sensual kiss.  There is a lot here, all good.  Over the top and gratuitous, but when babe nuns are involved...well, that's fine.

Will we see nubile nuns in catfights and shower scenes?  Is 'nubile' a word in which we can describe a babe nun?  Are two babe lesbian nuns lovingly embracing in the spurting blood of a thug they just decapitated a metaphor for the schism between Vatican 1 and Vatican 2 Catholics?  Offensive, gratuitous, and so much fun, see "Fountaine and the Vengeful Nun Who Wouldn't Die," and make sure to hit Confession on Saturday,    

1 comment:

  1. I am glad to have been part of this project as the servant of the BDSM torture whore!