Friday, September 24, 2021

Dinosaur Hotel, Save Up Enough Points For a Reptiliian Experience

I've noticed a couple of the United States' largest hotel chains have been going down hill over the past few years.  They blame this so-called virus, but the fact is they were going down hill before 2020.  Their rates climb at a higher rate than our skyrocketing inflation, and the quality of service declines.  At least we don't have to worry about a raptor in our rooms when we check into a Marriott...not yet.  Hence our feature today, 2021's "Dinosaur Hotel," directed by Jack Peter Mundy.

Her husband has just died and Sienna (Chrissie Wunna) has no idea how she will provide for her two cute kids, Maddy and Peter.  Out of nowhere...she gets a call.  No...not from those car warranty people...but from a mysterious voice inviting her to participate in a reality show with a prize of 100,000 pounds. Uh oh...she can't find a sitter and brings her kids.  Supposedly they will stay in the hotel room at this country hotel/mansion while she competes.  Four other babes are also there to compete.  She'll meet the friendly Zara (Chelsea Greenwood), the nice Sam (Kate Sandison), the alluring Jenny (Nicole Nabi), and the pretty Laura (Sofia Lacey).  By the way...these actresses can really scream...classic'll see that as soon as the dinosaurs arrive.

The dinosaurs arrive...raptors, pterodactyls, and T-Rex.'  See, the women have been duped.  The on-line reality show will award the winning purse to the last babe to survive.  They must survive a night of being hunted by these beasts.  The hotel doors are unlocked and the raptors enter to hunt.  The T-Rex prowls the outside grounds...and the pterodactyls are above.  One by one the babes will be eaten, or picked apart and then eaten.  Oh yeah...the two kids don't stay in their room and are now also hunted by the prehistoric beasts.  Sienna must, not only survive, but find her missing kids and make sure they survive, too. 

Just who is running this macabre and sadistic competition?  As the quality of athleticism in the NFL continues to plummet, can we plan on seeing shows like this in America?  Is it possible to feed NFL players to these dinosaurs?  Leave your Siskel and Ebert wannabe friends at home and watch "Dinosaur Hotel" and enjoy babes screaming and a wonderful performance by the great Burmese actress Chrissie Wunna.

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