Tuesday, September 28, 2021

Amityville Scarecrow, Pitchforks, Hay, and that Cursed Place

All right.  Granted!  We do cheer for the scarecrow in this one.  Sure, there are a lot of reasons to hate this film.  And maybe the big question is "will the final girl be post-menapausal?"  There are a lot of reasons to love 2021's "Amityville Scarecrow," directed by Jack Peter Mundy.  It is refreshing to see characters ripped right out of Wednesday night Bingo...gritty reality.  So, I know...I'm not being nice...but this horror story is infinitely more accurate than the original "Amityville Horror."

Terrific opening scene...babe Sadie (Barbara Dabson) and hunk James (Marek Lichenberg) trespass on an abandoned cornfield/campground to have pre-marital sex and beer.  They'll die horribly at the hands of a scythe wielding scarecrow.  Okay...now we meet our main characters.  Derek (Andrew Rolfe) is bringing his wife Tina (Amanda-Jade Tyler) and daughter Lucy (Chelsea Greenwood) to that Amityville cornfield where they will meet Mary (Kate Sandison) and her daughter Harriet (Sofia Lacey).  Mary and Tina are feuding sisters.  Derek used to be married to Mary when he began screwing around with Tina...thus he is now married to Tina...if you ask me Mary is better off.

The gathering is for reconciliation and to figure out what to do with this family owned campground.  Derek will annoy everyone and be useless and we pray he will be gutted soon.  On cue...the scarecrow comes to life and terrorizes this dysfunctional family.  Not all will survive...thank goodness.  In their terror and being gutted, the feuding sides bond and must work together.  Uh oh...the two feuding sisters hold the key to the revelation of who this demon scarecrow is and why he is running amok.  Never fear, the two moms decide to fight back...much like France did during World War 2.

Will the two sisters be able to put their differences aside and kill the demon scarecrow?  Just what would anyone in their right mind have seen in Derek and desired to have sexual relations with him?  What exactly does Amityville and its sordid past have to do with what is going on here?  This is a much better film than it sounds from this review.  Heartbreaking at times and you will catch yourself sympathizing with a lunatic child-killer...go figure.  Watch "Amityville Scarecrow" and then go look for some Geritol.    


  1. Another great review , premarital sex is the way to go

  2. The hunk guy James' real name is MAREK LICHTENBERG.. Not Lichenberg :) and if you want to check out how really hot and hunk he is, this is his IG account - @marek.lichtenberg Happy stalking! You'll thank me later ;)