Monday, August 23, 2021

Swim, Shark in a Beach House

Addison Bowman is a lovely young actress.  The beauty plays a bikini babe in our film today.  Her string bikini serves her, and us the viewer, very well.   In all the shark films ever made, no actress has delivered a more poignant line than Ms. Bowman in the Tubi original, "Swim."  "Why is there a shark in the house?"  Miss Bowman's character has standing to ask the painful question, she sashays through this 2021 instant classic, directed by Jared Cohn (and made by our friends at Asylum), having been bitten by the fishy home invader toward the start of the film.

Hudson (Joey Lawrence) is caught in traffic. He'll be useless through most of this film, thus we will not mention him again.  His family, consisting of bikini babe wife Lacey (Jennifer Field), high school graduate daughter Charlotte (Brett Hargrave), and hunk son surfer Tucker (Daniel Grogan) arrive at a vacation beach house in northern California.  Every babe will be clad in a bikini top and Tucker will never have a shirt on.  They'll all spend the entire film wet.  Unbeknownst to our great looking family, the lessor of the place has been eaten by a shark.  They arrive and Tucker immediately goes under the dock to swap spit with his girlfriend Becky (Bowman).  Oh yes, the almost invalid grandfather, Noah (Andy Lauer) is there with a nice assortment of walkers.

Uh oh...Tucker is lured into the surf by siren Becky...and there she is bitten.  Tucker saves her and drags her back to the beach house.  A storm arrives and so do the waves.  The surf rises and throws the man-eater into the basement of the beach house.  The water level rises and now the toothy fish has access to the kitchen, living area, and soon the upstairs.  The bikini babes, and hunk Tucker are now on the run.  Grandpa is an expert fisherman and tries a fishing pole.  When that doesn't work, he'll use his walker as a harpoon...or try to.  This is all classic!  Becky is going into shock but continues to look really good.  She'll recover enough to also be on the run and utter the aforementioned classic line.  The water level rises, the bikini babes will stay wet and shiny, and Tucker will never find a shirt.

Will Becky's poignant logic translate into an ability to blow up sharks with a SCUBA tank?  Will Lacey, the hot mom, be able to protect her hot family and soon to be invalid dad?  Will grandpa's oxygen tank be utilized in the ending of this film, a la "Jaws"?  This is a fun one with mega amounts of cheese and beef.  For a wet and wild great time see this Tubi original master piece, "Swim."   

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