Friday, April 23, 2021

Vampire in Vegas, Vampires and Silicone Implants

Tony Todd as a menacing vampire bent on the conquest of the world! I know...why would he want this screwed up place? Also, a lot of vampire babe action in which the vamps have fangs and impressive breast implants highlight this horror film.  It is Las Vegas...the sin capital of the world where materialism and phony boobs rule the day. Today's feature is 2009's "Vampire in Vegas, directed by Jim Wynorski. B movie queen Melissa Brasselle also graces us in this as a vamp with a proclivity to engage in cat-fights...yes!!!

Sylvian (Todd) is a centuries old vampire who comes to Vegas with the hopes of world conquest. We kind of have that anyway with the way the world is being run with figurative vampires...but, never mind.  He co-opts the assistance of babe doctor, Dr. VanHelm (Delia Sheppard). VanHelm is charged with creating a serum to make Sylvian immune to sunlight.  She tests her serum on babe vamps with little success. Meanwhile, Jason (Edward Spivak) is dragged to Vegas by his two buddies for a bachelor party weekend. His sweet GF Rachel (Sonya Joy Sims) and her buxom BF Nikki (Brandin Rackley) follow in order to catch them in 'the act.' VanHelms experiments leave several babe vamps melted in the desert and now the sultry Detective O'Hara (GiGi Erneta) and the witty Detective Stanton (Ted Monte) are on the case.

As the two detectives are on the case, this will leave plenty of opportunity for the buxom babes of this film, O'Hara, VanHelm, and vamp Shayla (Brasselle)  to have some gratuitous cat-fights. Poor Rachel and Nikki...Sylvian captures them and Nikki is turned. Now Sylvian holds Rachel hostage with the intention of turning her and luring Jason into a trap.  See, Jason has the exact blood type VanHelm needs to complete her serum. O'Hara is fast figuring this whole thing out and she will turn on her sex appeal and jiggle her implants in order to get to the bottom of this vampire conspiracy. As the buxom babes fall horribly, and the buxom detective shows us some nice tight cop-get ups...Sylvian moves closer to being able to walk the streets during the day.

If a vamp drinks silicone will her boobs...actually, never mind.  Will Jason be able to free Rachel before she becomes a silicone implant vampire? Is Tony Todd's Sylvian a preferable choice to run the world than the garbage we have now (Soros, Bezos, Gates, etc.)? This is a gratuitous one and if you are into extreme boob jobs, I don't know who would be, this is the film for you.  See "Vampire in Vegas" for a toothy and prurient good time.

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