The Cosmic Man, Does He Mean Peace...or Conquest

Today we have another1950s B sci-fi classic with that old, tried and true, classic theme. You know the theme...do we annihilate the alien visitor, or do we try to communicate with it and make friends? Inevitably, we annihilate it...but in all fairness, that was probably the right choice. I mean, did Kurt Russell try to make friends with The Thing? No!  He took a flamethrower to it. Like you would have done differently! Okay, lets look at 1959's "The Cosmic Man," directed by Herbert S. Greene.

A UFO is tracked by radar and crashes into the mountains of a California town. The military sends war-hawk Colonel Matthews (Paul Langton), USAF. They also send the guy who invented the A-Bomb, Dr. Karl Sorenson (Bruce Bennett), a scientist who feels guilty about annihilating tens of thousands of Japanese. Matthews is suspicious the thing means bad news for Earth. Sorenson doesn't jump to conclusions and is intrigued by the fact that an inter-galactic visitor is inside the impenetrable orb that hovers a few feet off the ground. Along comes the beautiful blonde widow Kathy (Angela Greene). She drives up to the site in her convertible. She has an open mind and we figure she also has an open mind about which hunk to marry. Yeah, the two hunks represent both sides of a classic debate but both are bores.

What, or who is ever inside the orb comes out. The Cosmic Man (John Carradine) is invisible and goes to science labs to see what Earthlings are up to.  He decides the Earthlings are pre-occupied with war and annihilation and tries to warn them against this pursuit. Oh, The Cosmic Man, now visible, gets a room at Kathy's lodge, perhaps desiring to mate with beautiful blonde Earthlings. Can we blame him? Afterall, don't we all have urges after traveling billions of light years through space? The plot goes back and forth whether The Cosmic Man means peace, or interplanetary war. Kathy goes back and forth whether to marry the boring scientist or the hawk Colonel.  The military brings in fresh weapons. Dr. Sorenson brings in more probing scientific tools. The Cosmic Man gets ready to recite his demands on the confused Earthlings.  Kathy begins thinking of her biological clock.

Who will Kathy decide on, and is the inter-galactic visitor in the running?  Is Sorenson or the Colonel right and will friends be made, or enemies annihilated?  Just what is The Cosmic Man's intention on Earth, and would he be open to an inter-species relationship with an Earth blonde? This is a fun one, no doubt preaching against xenophobia.  Still, the possibility of outsiders desiring to murder you is a plot point kept open by the movie makers.  See "The Cosmic Man" and enjoy some neat 1950's B Movie treasures.  

Drakul, Vamps and Politicians Gone Wild

I'm trying to remember...it seems to me "Drakul" was a YouTube series almost a decade ago. Of late, it is on Tubi as a 70-minute movie...so I put it on. Why? When I first started this blog, one of the first films I did was "Mongolian Death Worm." It was the perfect film for my blog. Big slimy monsters and babes. Victoria Pratt was in it and so was Auradrone lead singer, Jon Mack. Both ladies appeared several times subsequently on my blog. Well, guess what...Jon Mcck is one of the stars of "Drakul" and she plays a vamp. A bloodsucker. So today we are going to look at 2017's "Drakul," directed by Michael Merino.

Senator Christian Drake (Lee Ordeman) is running for president. He'll win because he has made a pact with a vampire demon king. This union has mixed results and Drake's lovely wife (Tracy Teague) proves unreliable so she is offed. No matter, his vampire handler, Jezabeth (Mack) provides him with a whore (Joy Glass). This makes mourning difficult. A lot of forces are now mechanized to either stop Drake from becoming leader of the free world, or to ensure he does. The order of Drakul is very competent and most of their opponents are slaughtered...no matter how pretty they are. Dr. Stuart (Joe Estevez) seems to lead the most competent branch of opponents, but he seems almost as evil as the vampire cabal.

Jezabeth, a very elegant vamp, is quite persuasive and is able to control Drake into behaving and taking orders...though her allure probably has a lot to do with that. You know U.S. Senators...what a lot? Oh, being held prisoner is Drake's illegitimate son, some schmuck named David (Gabriel Voss). For now, he's just the buffet for two sultry vamps, but is being kept alive for some reason, not yet known. By the way, one of Jezabeth's henchwomen is Alexa (Elyse Dufour), and she is a dish! It should be noted that this is a serial and another one of these movies must be out there, I'll look.

Will the conspiracy theorists claim the vampire cabal is a metaphor for AIPAC?  Will Jezabeth and Alexa engage in a catfight over some demon king? Are vampire controlled U.S. Senators preferable to the ones we have now, who are not controlled by vampires...at least in the literal sense? Vampire and conspiracy enthusiasts will love "Drakul," and if there is another one, I will try to find it.

Tasmanian Devils, Danica McKellar Has a Flamethrower

She is mean.  She is armed. Armed with a flamethrower and attitude.  She snarls.  She grunts. Then, she pulls the trigger and her flamethrower fires! Soon, the ferocious monster is engulfed in flames. Threat neutralized. Milla Jovovich? Nope. Kate Beckinsale? Nope. The little girl from "The Wonder Years." Winnie, all grown up! She's aged well. You know who else is in this one... Apolo Ohno! Who is he? I don't remember but he used to be someone. He is a rotting corpse in this film, so let's not worry about him anymore. Our feature today is 2013's "Tasmanian Devils," directed by Zach Lipovsky.

Five base jumpers execute a 3000 foot plunge. Uh oh, Apolo Ohno goes 3100 feet and gets impaled by a stalagmite in an underground cavern. His blood reanimates six monsters, toothy Tasmanian Devils. The five other ones are then busted by three Tasmanian Park rangers, which include Alex (McKellar). Uh oh, the monster climb out of the cave and hunt down our humans. Two of the park rangers are eaten immediately. Now Alex must lead the other base jumpers through the Tasmanian wilderness and to safety. This won't be easy as the things attack and shred the humans one by one. Walsh (Terry Chen) builds a flamethrower and Alex chars one of the monsters. War breaks out. The monsters increase their attacks. Alex and base jumper Jayne (Kenneth Mitchell), a guy, get sweet on one another. It's so cute.

The creatures are on the offensive and the humans are trying to run back to the helicopter the base jumpers arrived on. This won't work and ends in an explosion and blood. Now they seek a weather tower. One by one the creatures pick off the humans. One by one, the humans pick off the creatures.  We don't much care for most of the characters, but when Alex uses a flamethrower on one of the critters, we are in love. Like most flamethrowers, sadly, it stops working. Now Alex and the surviving base jumpers must lick their wounds and come up with a better plan. They do, sadly it isn't that much better than their first two.

Will Alex and Jayne live to romance one another?  Is Apolo Ohno as a rotting corpse a metaphor for what happens to people when their 15 minutes of fame ceases? Danica McKellar as a Tasmanian Park Ranger? Seriously? Just go with it. I think I saw this one in 2013 on the Syfy Channel. Believe it or not it has some terrific scenes and however miscast Ms. McKellar is, we do love seeing her as a flamethrower wielding ranger.  See "Tasmanian Devil" and be prepared to be surprised at how much you enjoy this film.  

Queen of Lost Island, Julie Strain and a Big Sword

A big sword, and big...er, a big...smile! Yep, true exploitation from straight to video from the 90s. Some claim Julie Strain ad-libbed her swordplay, which takes up half the runtime in this film. Others insist she was invited to Japan and spent 12 months training and learning from real Samurai warriors. Lucky warriors! The wardrobe department had it easy, as Miss Strain appears as a naked and possessed babe seeking to possess the spirits of sultry swimsuit models and then have orgies with them. No, not a Kate Hudson film, and not a remake of "To Kill a Mockingbird," but 1994's "Queen of Lost Island" (aka "The Devil's Pet," or "Elixir: Queen of Lost Island"), directed by Donald G. Jackson.

Julie (Strain) goes to a South Pacific island to scout it for settings for a fashion/swimsuit shoot. With her is the pervert agent/promoter Damian (Steve Carr). The duo find a small bottle with an ancient elixir and both seem possessed to take a sip. Now Damian is the great evil god Pan, seeking to corrupt nubile babes with sex, and Julie is...well, a naked warrior with a big sword. Now all they need are models to corrupt. Damian summons fashion photographer Kenny (Nicholas Celozzi), and several beautiful, big smiled models. They arrive and Julie swings a mighty sword. Pheromones are rampant and the urge for sex is spread by Pan/Damian. One by one the models are hunted down by Julie or Damian, stripped, forced to drink the potion, then become ravenous sex machines. One of the models, Bobbi (Tina-Desiree Berg) is Kenny's favorite bikini-babe, and she is urged to take her top off. This was an easy endeavor by Kenny.  Then she seduces the photographer.

The other models are easy prey.  Before and after trying to flee in horror, they are caught and forced to drink. Now Pan has a small army of nude models to hunt down Kenny and Bobbi.  We have to stop here and admire how loyal the plot of this film is to the book. Orgies commence.  Lesbian orgies commence.  Julie Strain feels herself up while bathing in a stream...a lot!  Bobbi, even without being possessed, gives Kenny all the deviance he can handle.  Now Bobbi and Kenny realize the danger they are in as the hordes of naked models head their way.

How did you miss this one in 1994?  Is Julie's big sword a metaphor for...for...oh, never mind!  Was this Julie Strain vehicle an attempt by her to be cast as the lead in "The Last Samurai" ( a role eventually given to Tom Cruise)? This is...well...a gratuitous Julie Strain film. Nudity and nudity rule, with some help from deviant pre-marital sex. For an arousing guilty pleasure, see "Queen of Lost Island."  

The Cape Canaveral Monsters, Space Aliens Destroy Rockets

We have a good one today. A great 1950s-type B scifi film that just missed the 1950's.  The 1960 classic, "The Cape Canaveral Monsters" is maybe the best scifi film you have never seen.  Directed by Phil Tucker, and filled with cheese and beef, our feature today has fresh aliens who like to strip nubile Earth girls, and...well, you'll see. 

Two aliens in the form of green floating orbs have arrived, but need bodies. They murder a bathing beauty and Nadja (Katherine Victor) takes her body. Sadly, Hauron (Jason Johnson) murders the swimsuit babe's ugly boyfriend and must take his body. In the murders, The male loses an arm and the aliens keep trying to sew it back on. Sadly, it keeps falling off. Nadja, who is now a babe, is annoyed that her cohort is a one-armed guy with an ugly face...thus she is grouchy throughout the entire film. Hauron and Nadja were sent to Earth to ruin NASA's space program and collect Earth specimens for study...preferably nubile babes. They strip them and beam them up to their world. Hauron also uses some ray gun to shoot down all NASA's rocket launches. Now Nadja makes Hauron get a new face and they find Bob (Gary Travis). Now Nadja wants to suck face with Hauron.

Tim (Scott Peters) and Sally (Linda Connell) are two great looking college kids who work at NASA. They accidentally find the cave the aliens are holed up in. Both will be captured but Tim will escape and believes he has found a weakness for the aliens. Sally is stripped and Nadja wants to beam her up before the now handsome Hauron has his way with her. Tim tries to get help from the cops and the NASA soldiers.  The aliens are waiting for them.

Given Hauron's attraction to nude Earth-babes, will Nadja and Sally engage in a steamy catfight that could include lasers and alien chemicals?  As Nadja is more and more educated in Earth-babe swimsuits and undergarments, will she make herself more appealable to her own kind on her own planet? Oh yeah!  Will earth defeat these two raunchy aliens and be able to go forward with their space program?  This is a fun one and the love story between Sally and Tim blows away "Body Heat" and "Love Story."  For some fine B Movie action from yesteryear, see "The Cape Canaveral Monsters."    

Death Passage, Ghost In Australia

Yep, one from Australia today. Though as the years have gone by Aussie horror has become more mainstream and less identifiable with the Land Down Under. Oz-ploitation seems to be a term for yesteryear. Italian horror is similar, no longer Giallo...sad. Still, we do have a creepy one about a ghost wanting vengeance. Our feature today is 2014's "Death Passage" (aka "Lemon Tree Passage"), directed by David Campbell.

Three great looking vacationing young Americans find themselves at the beach. The sultry Maya (Jessica Tovey) is with the babe Amelia (Pippa Black) and her brother Toby (Tim Pocock). At the beach they meet two fun Aussies, the weird Oscar (Andrew Ryan) and the hunk Geordie (Tim Phillips). Yep, Maya and Geordie fall in love. What could go wrong? The otherworldly, that's what! Seems there is a recent urban legend Oscar lets them in on. If one drives really fast on Lemon Tree Passage Road, a bright light appears behind the car. They have to see for themselves and do it...and guess what. Yep. The bright light? Let's talk about Sam (Nicholas Gunn). He seems to have secrets and some evil forces converging on him. The evil forces try to get him to commit suicide, or order him to "find her." Find who? Okay, whatever that bright light is, it begins tormenting Geordie, Maya, Amelia, and Toby.

Now Maya develops some weird psychic connection with something from the other side. She sees some horrible act of violence against a girl (Piera Shannon). Now Sam, desperate to stay alive, follows orders and heads into the wilderness to look for...well, you'll see. He doesn't find it, it finds him. Now the others drive back to that weird road and try to recreate their feat. Mistake. Now the evil entity turns homicidal and in the weirdest ways, people begin dying. Maya, on the other hand, seems to be beckoned by some spirit and eventually possessed. Sam turns crazy and whatever force is in the woods, Sam wants to kill it. Fat chance. The secrets are revealed and we see what this entity is, or who it was. Maya may be the human vessel that the spirit uses to further its wrath of vengeance.

Will any of these great looking characters survive the bright light of Lemon Tree Passage Road? Will the evil spirit enjoy intimacy with Geordie just as Maya did?  Will Maya be able to break free of the spirit before all her friends are dead? This is a creepy ghost story and its strength is definitely the great looking cast. Perhaps the scares are mild, but we do like looking at the characters in peril. See "Death Passage" and take in a not too surprising, but still satisfying ghost story. 

Killer Fish, Brazil, a Heist, Explosions, a Hurricane, and Piranhas

Lee Majors! Karen Black! Margaux Hemingway! Marisa Berenson! James Franciscus! Powerhouses of the 1970s, movies and TV. Other than the Lee Majors TV show "The Fall Guy," the 1980s sort of left these peeps behind.  Today we look at an action packed heist/disaster/monster movie from 1979 that was partially financed by Lee Majors and his then wife, Farrah Fawcett..."Killer Fish," directed by Antonio Margheriti. Shot in Brazil, it has as antagonists hundreds of thousands toothy menaces we know as piranha.

A heist...and it is beautiful. Robert (Majors) and Kate (Black) lead a team that will rob a vault of emeralds. A diversion? No, not a smoke bomb, or a fire alarm...nope. The buggers blow up a power plant! You gotta love it! Explosions galore. They crack a safe and get away with a fortune in jewels. The heist was financed by Kate's man, Paul (Franciscus). He has a heart condition and Kate tries to give him heart attacks by making passionate love to him. Robert? Kate really loves him, but he falls for the fashion model, Gabrielle (Hemingway). Okay, Ann (Berenson) owns a clothing line and her and her husband Tom (Gary Collins) are there to enjoying a work-honeymoon. Oh! Remember Dan Pastorini? He played under Bum Phillips with the old Houston Oilers...Earl Campbell was on that team. He's one of the gang members. He'll be eaten by piranhas.

See, after getting away with the jewels, as planned, the gang tosses the spoils into a lake by a dam. They don't know Paul has put thousands of piranha in the lake as an extra means of security. So when gang members try to steal the gems, they're eaten. How long after the robbery does it take for the gang to turn on itself? 60 seconds. Kate would like to take the gems and be off with Robert. Robert doesn't trust Kate and has a lot of pre-marital sex with Gabrielle. Now all go try to get the box of gems but a hurricane and tornado destroy the dam and the boat they're on starts sinking in piranha infested water. The boat slowly sinks and Paul figures on betraying everyone by absconding with the gems and leaving everyone else to be eaten by piranhas.  First he has to get them. He seduces Kate to dive in and get them...that's all for the plot in this review.

Will Kate come back up with the gems, or will only her skeleton come up? Will Gabrielle and Kate get into a catfight over the Six-Million Dollar Man?  After Dan Pastorini gets ingested, will terry Bradshaw be recruited into the gang. This one has a lot of action and even works as a disaster film.  The cheesecake factor is top-notch and so is the beefcake factor. For a nice nostalgic look back at the 70s, see "Killer Fish." 

Red Night at Skye's, Zombies, Meth, and Nazis

Zombies, Meth, and Nazi's? To say the least. We have a heist film today.  One of those heist films when the idiots with a perfect plan get more than they bargained for when not all is as it originally seemed. Yep, the idiots are gonna hit a pawn shop with a Meth lab. what could go wrong? Zombies? Sure, but that's not the half of it. Our feature today is 2024's "Red Night at Skye's," directed by Chris Grega.

Cole (Brock Roberts), a good guy, has money problems and jobs are hard to come by. His wife (Julie Layton) is dying of cancer, and a million medical bills are past due. His dad (Bill Moseley) is on some disability, and Cole can't afford to feed his two great kids. Giving in to temptation, he let's his best friend Tom (Skully Shemwell) talk him into hitting a pawn shop. The pawn shop staff has a Meth lab and has millions, and won't call the police if robbed. Tom has a few idiot friends and together with Cole, head over to Skye's Pawn Shop to rob it. All goes wrong...so wrong. A Meth lab? Not just any Meth lab. Doc (John Bratkowski) is the owner and he is also a Nazi mad scientist cut from the same mold as Josef Mengele. He's producing a Meth that turns its users into cannibalistic, ravenous zombies. His plan is to release it in urban centers to clean out the low-class peeps.

During the robbery, Cole and gang get into a shoot-out with the pawn shop staff and flee to the basement...which is a Meth lab and also has cells for the experiments. The experiments? Doc experiments on human subjects turning them into the aforementioned cannibalistic zombies. The creatures are released and set upon Cole and his buddies. Enter Emma (Jackie Kelly). The pretty blonde is one of those experiments, except she reverted back to a real human...she's an aberration.  Emma helps Cole. and together the two try to find a way out. There's more...so much more. Doc has plans and he also may be infinitely more dangerous than any Nazi of the Third Reich.

Will Cole be able to escape and get back to the family that needs him? Will Emma be able to stay human after being a zombie for a short time? Just what is Doc really up to, and what else is in the basement of that pawn shop? The ending is quite ambitious and yes there is something else down there that may be a scourge onto the entire world. For an ambitious heist film with cannibalistic zombie overtones, see "Red Night at Skye's." 

Death Screams, Babes and Hunks Slashed

An 80s slasher film with skinny-dipping, bimbos and hunks having pre-marital sex, a campfire by a lake, and sex on a motorcycle! Yes! Why can't they make films like this anymore? The babes in this one are unbelievable! Movies here in 2026 can't find enough attractive babes, but back in the 80s, they were all over the place and had no qualms about doing skinny-dipping scenes. So, if you really want sultry dames in the throes of peril, see a 1980s slasher film. If not, be a wuss, and go see that new Spielberg monstrosity "Disclosure Day." For a real movie, we can actually enjoy, let us look at 1982's "Death Screams," directed by David Nelson.

As we begin our story, Ted (Larry Sprinkle) and Angie (Penny Miller) are nude and having pre-marital sex on top of a motorcycle. They both get macheted and dumped in the river. They'll float down the river the entire movie, quite poetic actually. Okay, a carnival is in town but before that we meet some sultry babes. Lily (Susan Kiger) is a clerk in a market and desires bigger things. Stop! Don't say it. Ramona (Jennifer Chase) is a bigtime slut who has slept with every man in town. Kathy (Andrea Savio) is a good girl, but sultry. Sandy (Judy Kay) is not such a nice girl but will give us one of the best skinny-dipping scenes in movie history. She'll be macheted during it and will join Ted and Angie in a death float downstream. Poetic! There are more. Okay, Neil (Martin Tucker) is a coach and desires Lily. He'll be decapitated before he can get to her. Sarah (Sharon Alley) will get it on the merry-go-round with an arrow. 

After all that, the movie moves to a campfire by the river. All the babes are looking really good and showing a lot of cleavage, or in some cases nude. The machete wielding killer converges and his goal is to pick off everyone with his machete. Suspects? Oh yes, there is the town mentally challenged brute (Hanns Manship) who has some history with Ramona. Ramona? Being  the slut of all sluts in this film, will there be something special waiting for her? Oh yes, Lily seems to have a backstory that only bores us, but suggests if there is going to be a final girl, she will be it. There will be so many killings and so many babes will be felled by our slasher.

Just who is the killer and why does he seem to dislike skinny-dippers and youngsters engaging in pre-marital sex? Are the floating corpses of Ted, Angie, and eventually Sandy a metaphor for man's inhumanity to man, or for the oppression of women in 20th century America? Just how many actresses can deliver the allure while floating down stream with a slit throat, and naked? Yes, this is a fun one and might have been missed back when a slasher film came out at the theater every week. For great nostalgic fun, see this 80s slasher flick "Death Screams" and see what it was like when beautiful women used to be cast in films. 

Giant from the Unknown, Devil Conquistador Wants a Dame

Who doesn't? This fellow has been in suspended animation for 500 years, we can understand his urges. Sure, nursing those urges can make one behave anti-socially, but we can only hope modern civilization will understand. We understand when he takes Ann (Jolene Brand). We like Ann, too. Sadly, our monster gets too excited and Ann will be annihilated. Sad. We liked Ann better than the blonde leading lady. However sultry Sally Fraser's character is, she talks a lot and makes sure all the conversation centers on her. Ann seemed more amenable to just stick with giving goo-goo eyes to hunks.  Anyway! Let us look at 1958's "Giant from the Unknown," directed by Richard E. Cunha. 

A farmer has been ripped apart, and so has cattle and horses in a small California mountainside town. The townsfolk pressure Sheriff Parker (Bob Steele) to do something. Parker hates the know-it-all archaeologist Wayne (Ed Kemmer) and tries to pin the violence on him. Then they arrive. The dull Professor Cleveland (Morris Ankrum) and his nubile blonde daughter., Janet (Fraser). Wayne had his chance to pick up Ann, but ignored her. Now he has to listen to Janet drone on and on about nothing...always dominating the conversation...okay, back to the plot. Cleveland is set to go up the mountain and find a 500 year old giant conquistador named Vargas (Buddy Baer). Legend speaks of him. Wayne will go with him. Janet, in between yapping about nothing, falls for Wayne and he falls for her. The trio go up into the mountain and soon find Vargas' armor. Nearby, Vargas awakes from a shallow grave and gets up.

What is the first thing Vargas does? Ask Ann...oh, wait...she's been violated and pulled apart. Vargas heads back up the mountain and witnesses Janet stripping out of her clothes as she gets ready for bed. Wayne and Cleveland sit by the campfire probably happy for the break in having to listen to Janet go on and on about nothing. Vargas returns and grabs Janet and takes her higher up the mountain. Fortunately for him, the dame faints. Wayne and Cleveland go after him. Sheriff Parker and a posse join the duo and now Vargas declares war on modern man.

Will Janet wake and begin endlessly yapping at the devil conquistador?  Will Wayne, Cleveland, and the posse find Janet before she is violated or has her mouth sewn shut? Will Vargas teach Janet 500 year old etiquette for a dame in courtship? Sure, Janet could learn a lot from a 500 year-old stud. Still, Wayne is in love and Cleveland is sorta used to her, as Janet is his daughter. See "Giant from the Unknown" and get a glimpse how real men liked their dames back in the 1400s. 

The Last House on Dead End Street, Gross!!!!!

Amputation! Disembowelment! Dissection! Rape! Porn! Oral sex with animal parts! Okay, I watch them so you don't have to. Any redeeming quality to this film? You decide. A big clue, none of the cast and crew use their real names in the credits. Let us take a look at 1973's "The Last House on Dead End Street," directed by Roger Watkins. Low budget, grindhouse, exploitation, and a few inches away from porn. Snuff?  You may wonder.

Terry (Watkins) gets out of jail and is angry. He now wants to make films. He assembles a bunch of perverts who do porn films and offers them a chance to do something a bit different...a bit more extreme. He has some helpers. The beautiful but psycho Kathy (Kathy Curtin) who will ultimately help him disembowel and dissect beautiful women is on board as well as pornographers Ken (Ken Fisher) and Bill (Bill Schlageter). Now let us talk Patricia (Patricia Kuhn). She is an actress/performer. Her husband Jim (Edward E. Pixley) is having trouble selling his porn. He throws parties in which Patricia dresses in lingerie, shoe polishes her face black, and allows some guy to whip the snot out of her. I assume this is weird, though maybe I don't get out enough.

Kathy convinced Patricia to act in Terry's movies. She does. Terry muscles a deviant promoter, a couple of actresses, and Patricia's husband to come to his set. There the carnage continues. References to Zeus, virgins, human sacrifice, and mutilation seem to define Terry's theme. There will be long and excruciating scenes of beautiful woman getting gutted and having their legs amputated while alive. Eyeballs will meet power drills, goat hoofs will be sucked, and innards will be yanked out of abdomens. All for what?

What are Terry's motives in pulling women apart...and some men? Will anyone survive Terry's cinematic wrath? Goat hoofs? Does this movie make a statement about the increasing misogyny in western civilization. Does this film promote misogyny in western civilization? Should it have ever been made? I know...gross! Despicable! No way! I get it. For the record I'm not recommending it...but admit it, you're curious and some of you are looking for it now. "The Last House on Dead End Street," you can watch it and never have to tell anyone you did.

World War Bigfoot, Sasquatch and the Krauts

Krauts! Yes...gotta love the Germans...Krauts! These war movies when our side calls them Krauts are so priceless.  Germans don't yell and scream for us to stop using "the K-word." Gotta love them for that. You don't get fired from your job or banned from social media, even in Germany, for using the "K-word." Krauts! There!  Today we have a war movie, entirely factual (not really) about Bigfoot's involvement in World War 2. I bet if we called Bigfoot a "Skunk Ape," the Bigfoot community would not yell and scream for us to stop using the "S-word." SKUNK!  SKUNK!  SKUNK! They probably even laugh at that term. Our feature today is 2026's "World War Bigfoot," directed by Jason Mills. 

Secret missions abound. Sarge (Gavin Marck) leads a ragtag group of GIs into the European forests on a secret mission.  The Germans have sent a similar team in. The Krauts and the Yankees...Ha! Yankees!  The Y-word!  Guess who is not getting wet in the panties because they were called the "Y-word"? Back to the plot. The Yanks and the Krauts battle and most die. The troops are scattered and two medics, the Yank Doc (Jason Benson) and a Kraut try to save some of the wounded...to no avail. Sarge survives and when asked about the mission by fellow GIs, he kills them. Uh oh...Bigfoot appears and he is wounded. Doc tries to save him and the Kraut medic tries to help...to no avail. Other Bigfoots witness this unsuccessful act of charity.

Meanwhile Sarge continues murdering any soldier, Yank or Kraut, who might compromise the secrecy of this mission...to secure a Bigfoot. Sarge finds Doc and Doc realizes there is something off about his commander. Sarge is intent on killing a Bigfoot and is delighted to find the dead one. Doc kind of likes The Bigfoot...even though it probably smells like a skunk...hence we can call it a Skunk Ape without being banned from civilization. The German medic is hiding because Sarge would surely kill him...though it is apparent that Sarge intends to off Doc. Growls in the distance suggest more and more Bigfoots are converging and do not appreciate humans waging war in their home.

Will Doc survive this insane mission and his mad commander?  Will the Bigfoot community survive the human inflicted war in their forest?  Will members of the Bigfoot community be appointed to governmental boards, or UN agencies, to make up for their marginalization by the world community in the past? This may be one of the most important World War 2 movies ever made...but probably not. Still, it is not as preachy as "Saving Private Ryan," and Krauts the world over will appreciate not being stereotyped in this film. So grab yourself a hotdog and add some sauerkraut, and enjoy "World War Bigfoot."
    

Who is Killing the Cheerleaders?, A True Humanitarian

Who is killing the cheerleaders? Whoever it is, it ain't being done fast enough. I mean, get a flame thrower or a dozen grenades...have mercy upon us, take them all out! Okay, no one loves cheerleaders more than I. Watch any NFL game and the only ones putting effort across, aren't the so-called athletes, but the real athletes, the cheerleaders. In sports the players have become less talented over the years and are infested with marijuana, bad hair, stupid tattoos, and a penchant for throwing games at the behest of gambling interests. Cheerleaders? Still pure...no prostitution scandals, drug scandals, and if they eat too much, they are thrown off the squad. Yes! But in our film today, they are unlikable, don't cheer, and make everyone defensive or sad. Mercifully, someone is killing them...or should be killing them. Let us look at 2020's "Who is Killing the Cheerleaders?," directed by Jeff Hare.

Yep, 10 years ago a high school cheer team was slaughtered and the killer has never been found. Present day, the only cheerleader who survived, Elliette (Ella Cannon), is returning to town to become an English teacher at the school. Yep, traumatized to the point of amnesia about the event, Elliette does not remember who the killer was.  Worse yet, the memories that seem to be slowly coming back suggest she is the butcher. To handle the PTSD of that traumatic event, Elliette becomes the cheer coach. Other suspects...everyone! The guy she had a crush on in high school, Jonathan (Austin Freeman), who is now hot for her. The nerd Lisbeth (Kayla Fields) who thought all cheerleaders were b***hes in high school, but now befriends Elliette. Everyone!

So now she's back and weirdness rules the day in her life.  Her memory seems to be bad and killings begin happening. Elliette's cell phone pings at and during all the murder scenes. Her diary has confessions to the murders which she does not remember writing.  Then the cheerleaders on her own squad are murdered one by one the way they were murdered 10 years ago...or are they?   Now even Elliette's bestie and new BF believe she is the killer.  The cops even suspect her.  Oh, the cheerleaders? Worry not, none of these gals will ever make the Dallas Cowboys, Las Vegas Raiders, or Miami Dolphins squads...no way, Jose!

Is Elliette the killer, or is this too easy?  Are the present day cheerleaders really being murdered? Why can't someone make one of those 1970s drive-in/exploitation films about cheerleaders in peril? However unsatisfying this one is, if you want to see a cheerleader in peril film that will not arouse you, see "Who is Killing the Cheerleaders?" 

Amityville VR, Evil Delivered through AI

I asked Google how many "Amityville" movies there were.  Over 50 it said. I asked Grok.  It says 60-70. I thought the number would be well over 300...I still do. Here is the irony. A movie from the so-called "Amityville" franchise, made by real humans, with real actors and real actresses, set in a real town, and using real sets...no AI and no CGI...lectures us on the dangers of AI. Think about that. Anyway, let us look at 2024's "Amityville VR," directed by Matt Jaissle. 

The world is in peril. A rogue AI program, delivered by an AI terrorist has shut down all government computers.  Healthcare comes to a halt...though that may be reality.  Transportation is shut down. The military is shut down.  Just about everything. Two G-Men (Matt Jaissle and Jim Bunny Bundshuh) capture a suspect. Stuart (Chris Heikka). They want to know if he's working with the Russians, Chinese, or Hezbollah. Stuart is bloodied and the feds are ready to torture him. Change of plans, the G-Men put some Virtual Reality (VR) goggles on him and tell the schmuck to go into a VR world and find a demon queen.  The demon queen (Amanda Foster) must be stopped as she is the key to the AI virus turning the government off. Stuart has no choice and goes into a weird AI world. There he meets an ally, or is he an ally? The bloody skeleton tells Stuart what he must do.  Stuart is also told the two G-Men will kill him and he must murder them first.

Stuart goes on a weird journey that eventually takes him to the demon queen's red cabin in the woods.  There, the demon queen has another weird demon henchman there.  Stuart must outsmart the demon queen in order to prevail and return to his own reality.  Wait...does this sound like a great movie or what? Well, it beats "The Devil Wears Prada 2" and "Avatar."  Okay, maybe not as good as "Avatar 2."  Just kidding...much better than "Avatar 2."  All those aforementioned films were also made with real people and real sets...just saying.

Go ahead.  Poo-poo on AI, though after seeing this film you will be cheering for AI.  Not to criticize Matt Jaissle and his efforts here.  He gives us an ambitious voyage into a weird VR world guided by AI integration.  Oh, Amityville?  What does this film have to do with Amityville? Nothing!  Still, "Amityville VR" sounds better than "Springfield VR" or "Compton VR." 

Berserk, Circus Horror

Remember when we had circuses?  Real circuses.  Circuses men and their sons could go to and enjoy. The PC crowd did away with that and liberal activists just could not allow any does of manhood to seep into a dad's relationship with his sons. Instead we have the orgasmic metrosexual monstrosity called Cirque du Soleil...any limp-wristed, milquetoast, wuss claims they enjoy. Read men...real Americans...pine for the days of Ringling Brothers.  Elephants!  Midgets!  Camels! Etc. Now we get New Age images of weakness and nature imagery masquerading as entertainment. Let us travel back to a real circus in the 1967 film "Berserk," directed by Jim O' Connolly. This is an odd one...kind of a Hammer film, but not flashy and biting enough.  Then kind of a Hitchcock one, but not as witty. A tweener, let's say. Filmed using a real circus, not a wuss quasi ballet performances masquerading as a circus.

As the film opens, a tightrope walker is murdered in front of the circus audience. He is the first. Uncaring circus owner, Monica Rivers (Joan Crawford) is annoyed this could effect the gate. On cue, a drifter enters the circus camp who wants the job as the new tightrope walker...interesting timing. Frank (Ty Hardin) is the hunk new act and he tries to seduce Monica, despite a 30-year age difference. It works and Monica will make him partner. Partner, yep...see, Albert (Michael Gough), the old partner, gets a spike in the back of the neck as soon as Frank arrives. Go figure. Frank does his best to woo Monica, he even tries to have pre-marital sex with her. She's smart, but eventually falls for him. Enter the Scotland Yard detective, Brooks (Robert Hardy). He is suspicious of everyone.

Now we meet the lovely blonde magician's assistant, Matilda (Diana Dors). She wears skimpy costumes and allows her husband to saw her in half in one of their tricks. She tries to seduce Frank, he rebuffs. Mad, Matilda tells Brooks that Monica is the killer. Uh oh...the babe Angela (Judy Geeson) arrives. The pert blonde is Monica's daughter and just got thrown out of boarding school. She is put to work as the babe in the skimpy costume for the knife throwing act. Guess what...Frank has killed before and Brooks knows it. As all clues point to Frank, and also Monica, Brooks tries to make sense out of it. What's worse is the fate that awaits one of our blonde lovelies. 

Are either Frank or Monica the killer, or is this too easy?  Will Matilda be sawed in half, and/or will Angela end up with 15 knives in her gut?  Will Brooks be able to catch the killer and save the circus? For all of you who grew up when we had real circuses, this film will bring back great memories.  Still, "Berserk" is a gory murder mystery with elephants, clowns, acrobats, magic acts, lion tamers, etc...so enjoy!

What Lives Here, Jersey Horror

Jersey or Joisy? Today, the best film ever to emerge from Atlantic Highlands, New Jersey. Filmed at the old Edwards Mansion, a real slasher in the attic story.  Okay, flawed, but you gotta like the characters and the actors and actresses turn in realistic performances. Also, the kills are uber gory, and given the victims are all from New Jersey...well...that's fine with us. Our feature today is 2024's "What Lives Here," directed by Troy Burbank. 

Okay, I admit it...Troy Burbank gives us some really likable characters.  The kinds of blokes and skanks we all know. Tip Top Restoration and Junk Removal is contracted to clean out a mansion so it can be sold. The shady realtor, James (Christian Keiber) pays top dollar and twice that for Lee's (Jeff Swanton) company to come from three hours away to do the week long job. None of the local companies, or anyone local, will go anywhere near the mansion...why? Worry not, we are let in on a grotesque backstory that gets worse at every telling. The very gory opening scene alludes to it, in fact. Now the men arrive and find out their hotel reservation fell through and will have to spend the first night in the mansion. Uh oh...a weird old lady, who hides in the attic takes a kid and murders others as the house is now being intruded upon.

After a night of drinking, Lee's crew brings back some skanks for pre-marital sex. Cole (Peter Hogan) and Laurie (Jackie Adragna) pair up and are torn apart by the old fiend. Dillon (Dan Gregory ) and Emma (Katie Walsh) also pair up and are ripped to shreds after doing the dirty deed. Now, one by one, the other Tip Top guys come back after a night of drinking and pool. The kills get gorier and one poor schmuck gets axed in half. Beau (Burbank) and Vito (Robert Ruvolo) come back grouchy with plans of scaring the quartet that has just been shredded...they're too late, in more ways than one. Finally Lee comes back and sees the carnage, tries to rescue any survivors, and finds out the horror that exists in this mansion is way more evil and scary than we thought.

Will anyone make it out of this mansion alive? Will anyone in New Jersey be able to escape the exorbitant taxes and human waste-oids that come over across the bridge from New York City? Will Lee be able to clean out the house of junk, internal organs, blood stained hard wood floors, a decapitated head or two, and lopped off arms and legs? All in all an effective slasher film with ominous twists and non-stop gore.  See "What Lives Here" and don't get off any exit when you travel the New Jersey Turnpike.

The Rage, Siberian Rabies

Unless it is Moscow, Russia looks like another planet.  The Siberian wilderness, though half radioactive, is stunning. Mountains, snow, Arctic wildlife, rabies and heroin addicts! Wait!  What? Oh, our movie today is set in the Siberian Arctic region and throws rabies at us in the form of fierce meat eaters. Let us look at 2023's "The Rage" ("Beshenstvo"), directed by Dmitriy Dyachenko.

Igor (Aleksey Serebryakov) is a tough man with a couple of big problems. He did some no-nos and now he is due to go to prison on Monday for the next two years. This gives him the weekend to help his son, Vovka (Vsevolod Volodin) a young twenty something who is addicted to heroin. Igor is determined that his son kick the habit and has a brilliant idea. Kidnap him, chain him, bring him to the Arctic region of Siberia, and make him go cold turkey and kick the habit. First stop is a small village, where it is 40 below zero, where Igor has a cabin. There, the attacks start.  Rabid wolves converge and eat some of the townspeople. Vovka? He really needs a hit and he will do anything to get one. Igor? He'll chain his son up in the cellar to prevent this. After a couple of the townspeople are eaten by rabid wolves the town cop Abyzov (Evgeniy Tkachuk) shows up and steals Vovka's hidden supply and threatens to take him to jail.

Igor takes Vovka out of the cellar and snowmobiles north to a little hunting cabin.  The rabid wolves follow. Abyzov follows. Town good guy Roman (Aleksandr Ustyugev) follows. Now all these appetizers, I mean humans converge on the cabin and so do the wolves. Now these peeps are  trapped inside. Uh oh...someone has broken in and has been living in it for a week, a hunter (Kirill Polukhin)...who is rabid after being attacked. Oh, that cold turkey thing? Yeah...Vovka is turning into a monster as his dad just doesn't understand the science of addiction. Oh, the hunter...he's dying as he froths at the mouth and warns Igor and company that the wolves are nothing...the real monster is on its way.

Just what is more monstrous than rabid wolves?  Will both Igor and Vovka survive even though the son's heroin addiction pretty much has him consumed? Are the rabid antagonists a metaphor for the Ukrainian Army that is proving to be more pesky than the Russians would like? This is a good one filled with beautiful Siberian snow covered scenery and a nightmarish man versus nature motif.  See "The Rage" and be glad half of your country isn't radioactive.