Tuesday, February 27, 2024

The Man in the Maze, Hiking in the Woods Carnage

Yep...on Spring Break, two hunks and two babes go hiking in the woods. What could go wrong? Right!  Cultural Appropriation!  Horrors!  An Indian plays an Indian!  Wait, or is that an Indian playing an Indian? Has this ever happened?  What a sign of disrespect for the Indian community.  Wait!  Does this make sense?  Not an important part of the film...and I really have no patience for the woke crowd when they scream "Cultural Appropriation," so let's move on. Today we look at 2011's "The Man in the Maze," directed by Mitesh Kumar Patel. 

Forgetting about the Indian playing the Indian, as Mumbai screams, we have two babes.  Like Marine Biology majors in college, Anthropology majors also seem to be babes. Christi (Stephanie Lomenick) is a babe with great big...er...well, she has a nice smile.  Okay, her smile leaves a lot to be desired...but she does have great big...wait, let's move on to Megan (Liana Werner-Gray).  Megan is a beauty pageant queen from Australia.  The blonde is very likable, and nubile. Alex (Andrew Roth), a major league hunk is going to have no trouble swapping spit with her.  Now PT (Devlin Wilder). We like him. He's crude and knows horror films. He globs onto Christi and her big...smile. Christi is disgusted by his boorish behavior. Oh, did I mention as the film begins they are in the midst of being slaughtered by a weird masked man?  I didn't?  Well, yes, they are...no context, but that'll be filled in later.

Alex saves the day and knocks out the killer.  Instead of killing him, Alex ties the masked man to a tree.  PT reminds Alex that in horror movies, they always get loose and track down the survivors.  Yep. Now the four college kids trek into the woods trying to find their way back to the car. They are lost and going in circles.  Christi tells them of local legends, yawn, but the legend does explain a lot.  He's back?  The masked man?  No...even worse.  See the movie and find out who is back. It'll be momentarily confusing but more importantly, PT is beginning to make moves on Christi that don't get him repelled. Whatever danger the quartet was in when the film began, multiply it by ten as they will again have to battle the masked man and...and...well, you'll see.

Will PT get in Christi's pants?  Will Megan and Christi get into a catfight about Cultural Appropriation?  Will any of these great looking Spring Breakers get gutted?  This is a weird one and a little bit different.  If an Indian playing and Indian does not bother you, enjoy "The Man in the Maze." At very least the actors and actresses are terrific beef and cheese.  

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