Friday, July 17, 2020

The Kingdom of Var, Ritualistic Sacrifice and Cannibalism Galore

With a tip of the hat to horror legend Herschell Gordon Lewis, we take a look at a rather gory Canadian gore-fest, 2019's "The Kingdom of Var." Low-budget all the way and made without any government funds, our film today is ambitious and heavy on spurting blood and disembowelment. This Nicholas Kleban film will please hardcore horror fans and combine some classic themes that H.P Lovecraft and Ken Russell fans will recognize.
Sonja (Vida Zukauskas) is a beautiful college student. As our film begins the devoted scholar receives a surprise guest. Her buddy Ashley (Sarah Swerid) arrives for a mysterious visit. Uh oh...the two prowl around in Sonja's basement. They find some junk left by the previous occupant who ended up in an insane asylum. The good looking duo find a VHS tape and make the mistake of their lives...they play it. The VHS tape is labelled "1594" and appears to show a brief clip of a centuries old wizard conducting some occult rite. Then the weirdness begins.
A nutsoid security guard (Mark Brombacher) begins sexually harassing Sonja. Then out of nowhere, hunk Kyle (Stephen Ingram) comes into Sonja's life. Visions and dreams indicate Sonja is being summoned by a weird centuries old cannibalistic cult. We then get a glimpse of Sonja's horrific backstory and it seems to fit too well into this gory plot. Now Sonja is on the run from weird cultists who get off on pulling out internal organs and eating them. Sonja begins fighting back but her tormentors have a huge head-start and seek her soul and internal organs for dinner. Humiliating and smelly rape, grotesque mutilation, and eternal torment are in store for Sonja if she can't find a way to repel a centuries old demonic wizard.
Will the beautiful Sonja be able to defeat Var and his Varians before they pull out all her organs? Can Sonja count on her best friend Ashley and new boyfriend Kyle or has Var already co-opted them? Are cannibalism and ritualistic sacrifice unjustly scorned by the Anglo-European culture that tries to corrupt us with godforsaken pop-music and drug legalization? Okay, that last question is meant to be provocative. Enjoy "The Kingdom of Var" and eschew the dry rot that main stream Hollywood pushes at us.
To stream THE KINGDOM OF VAR on Amazon, click on this link Stream Var


  1. Take a pinch of Army of Darkness, throw in some The Crazies, and maybe just a smidgen Cannibal Holocaust. Thanks for the review Chris!

  2. One more question, is letting off people who hurt coppers, without bail, a them that could be explored. Yeah great review, dirty rape, i get it. No, I mean smelly.