Friday, April 26, 2019

Axeman, Gratuitous to the Max

We have a good one today. If you want to see some of the most original kills ever put in a horror film...2013's "Axeman." There is so much right with this film. As far as this blog goes, we might have a neo-classic. Everyone in the film is either a hunk or a babe...even Brinke Stevens as the sheriff! Don't get too attached to any of them, however, if you know what I mean. To give you an idea, there will be one kill in which the killer will pull out a babe's rib and use it to stab her in the throat. This film was made by one of its stars, Joston Theney.
As the film begins, our killer (Scot Pollard, former NBA star) goes through a trio of vicious bank robbers like crap through a goose. This is so very sad as Tiffany Shepis is one of the ill-fated criminals. The murders took place in a mountain cabin and a few days later a bunch of hunks and babes arrive for a week-end of alcohol and wild-sex. There is drama with all these characters and their relationships. The drama isn't quite the kind you would find on The Hallmark Channel and we will ignore most of it. I should say there are two very hot lesbians, Liz (Erin Marie Hogan) and Tammy (Jamie Bernadette). These two will treat viewers to some very steamy passion.
Our former Boston Celtic arrives and continues the carnage. A decapitation here, chopping a hunk in half there...and more. Wild sex and lots of drinking continue. Liz and Tammy won't be able to keep their hands and faces off each other and some other beauties to include Stacy (Elissa Dowling) and Vivian (Eliza Kiss) will continue steaming up this film. Throats will be slashed, faces will be eaten...and much more. Our nearly seven foot axeman seems unstoppable. Even the sheriff's department that will eventually respond will be stocked with deputies who more resemble cheerleaders.
Will there be a final girl...or final guy? Is there stopping a seven foot axeman who wrote the book on gory kills? Will the lone black character (Theney) enjoy a better fate than he would on a "Star Trek" episode? For some great gore, original kills, and cheesecake and beefcake...enjoy "Axeman."


  1. This sounds like an epic series i need to see this.

  2. I know who I'll be avoiding, this is a gore fest!

  3. Wow I really need to see this awesome review.