Thursday, November 15, 2018

Bait, Great White in Aisle 5...and 7....and 4

From Australia...2012's "Bait." A magnificent 3D shark epic as "Jaws" is meshed with "The Last Wave." This one has a lot more than both "Jaws" (prettier women) and "The Last Wave" (action). Just like we prepare for snow storms by stocking up on toilet paper, this picture is a warning to all of us to prepare for tsunamis next time we go grocery shopping. Great whites, great kills, great gore, and some great gratuitous shots of Sharni Vinson will have you ranking "Bait" above "Jaws" in your list of best shark films.
Let us skip the melodramatic backstory, even though it contained a great scene in which a great white devours a couple of peeps. Hunk Josh (Xavier Samuel) and babe Tina (Vinson) bump into each other in the supermarket. They split a year ago and Tina has a new boyfriend, Steven (Yuwu Qi...this is a Chinese phrase for short-timer). Josh has lost his lifeguard job and now works in the grocery store. Boom! A tsunami hits and the store is flooded and cut off from the rest of the world. Survivors congregate on tops of store shelves. Meanwhile in the parking garage the sultry Heather (Cariba Heine) and Kyle (Lincoln Lewis) are submerged in the gal's BMW. The sharks come quickly. A pair of 12 foot great whites start eating the corpses then focus on our survivors.
Josh and Tina...and Tina's new beau have also survived, and everyone tries to figure a plan to escape the now underwater market. The plans fail miserably as the sharks feast. Downstairs, Kyle and Heather better think fast as the man eater begins ramming her BMW. Does Josh have a shot at getting Tina back? Yes, because new beau Steven makes a shark cage out of grocery store baskets. Does anyone think that will work? Oh yeah...throw in a vicious gang of robbers, dangling electrical wires, and a few more surprises. Heroes are born from the ruins and now the survivors decide to fight back.
Is there any stupider idea in the world than going up against a great white in a shark cage made out of grocery store baskets? If successful in getting out of this mess, will Josh get his lifeguard job back, and/or Tina back? Is keeping Sharni Vinson wet all over a realistic plot device, or a mere gratuitous attempt to titillate movie going audiences? This is a good one and when you see it you'll ask yourself how you missed "Bait" in 3D when it first came out. 

1 comment:

  1. Maybe Avalanche Sharks was a better movie, for the fact that they had jacuzzi scenes with babes, the Tsunami scene supurb and the Great White in a car park? I'd prefer to see them smooching with hot babes in a jacuzzi, happy 1000, great work!