Tuesday, October 10, 2023

Dinosaur Prison, Three Babes vs. Dinosaurs

Warning...this is a weird one.  Okay, figure this is sort of like "Jurassic Park" without the annoying kids.  Instead of a too serious scientist and a pouty blonde, we have three commando babes in tight black jumpsuits, in much peril.  Perhaps we might call this one the "Brubaker" of the new millennium.  Dinosaurs galore, I assure you...and babes in tight black jumpsuits...wait, I already mentioned that.  Today we look at one from our buddies at Jagged Edge Productions, 2023's "Dinosaur Prison," directed by Tyler James.

The three aforementioned babes?  Beth (Maria Taylor) is the leader of the trio of animal rights activists.  Sultry blondes, Liana (Ella Starbuck) and Sarah (Lauren Staerck) are her gals.  The trio believes that illegal animal experimentation is taking place at this super secret facility that used to be a prison.  They break into the prison thinking they are going to free monkeys or mice.  Instead, the babes find dinosaurs locked in the cells.  Liana chickens out and tries to leave.  Poor Liana, she'll then be eaten by a really big monster.  Alas, something has gone wrong and the creatures have all been let out of their cells.  Beth and Sarah are captured by sadistic prison guard, Cpt. Hill (Rob Kirtley).  He'll have to leave the gals when he finds out his men are being eaten by dinosaurs.  Enter mad scientist, Dr. Jahns (Marcus Massey).

Jahns looks like Willy Wonka with a hangover.  He convinces Sarah and Beth that he is on their side...but is he?  Sarah, Beth, and Jahns now appear to be trying to get out of this prison.  More guards are eaten and the trio is now hunted by all sorts of creatures.  An elite military SWAT team is dropped in.  This leads to the most amazing three minutes ever put in a dinosaur film.  One of the commandos has the Excalibur sword and he goes to battle with an invisible dinosaur.  Pure poetry is what happens next. Now Cpt. Hills and dinosaurs, including raptors and a T-Rex are after the two babes and the Willy Wonka guy.  No spoilers here, but what follows is weird, and vicious.

Will Sarah and Beth survive until the end credits?  Is Dr. Jahns really an ally of our two surviving babe commandos?  Will the elite SWAT team be able to stop the horde of monsters from busting out of the prison?  Ms. Starbuck, Ms. Staerck, and Ms. Taylor are stunning and look really great running from danger in their black get-ups.  Mr. Massey is quirky and weird as a weird and quirky mad scientist.  This is a fun one.  Enjoy a creature feature tonight and watch the dinosaur epic "Dinosaur Prison."      

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