Friday, October 6, 2023

Bloodthirst, A Post-Apocalyptic Vampire War

A post-apocalyptic horror tale?  Even better...a world run by vampires.  But wait!  There's more! A Van Helsing type vampire hunter with a crossbow...two babe vampire hunters with denim  short shorts (think Amy and Sally the Farmer's Daughters from GLOW)...and then, Tara Reid as the Vampire Queen!  Sonny and Michael Mahal give us 2023's "Bloodthirst," directed by Michael Su.  This is gritty, gory, and epic...but most of all it is a wild horror tale that has something for everyone...except for the squeamish.

Vampire Master (Robert LaSardo) and his minions terrorize the landscape.  Him and his vampires either kill for blood or turn humans into their kind.  Vampire Queen (Reid) and Vampire Master are getting ready to rule the world.  Uh oh...enter a vampire hunter, a man of the cloth, John (Costas Mandylor).  He'll put a ragtag group of surviving humans together to engage in a final battle (okay, maybe not final) against the Master and the Queen.  Joining him is thief Charlie (Johnny Huang), Rico the biker (Rich R. Rendon), and Brooke (Sarah French) and Elena (Elissa Dowling) in their short shorts and cleavage.  What a crew! This won't come as a surprise, John and his gang's biggest enemy may be a human psycho-militia into higher taxes.  Enter Torque (Bishop Stevens) and his psychos.

Vampire Master knows John is on his way.  John will be a problem and Master is worried.  You'll see, but Master's big concern delves into the question of 'said faith' versus 'true faith.'  John has some nice crucifix arrows for his crossbow...and now he has the two babes in their short shorts.  Did I mention the short shorts?  Sarah and Elissa have lost a lot and have attitude.  Still, the vampires are smart and vicious.  The motley gang of human survivors must deal with a conniving militia, and being outnumbered.  Fear not...any man of the cloth with a crossbow with crucifix arrows is bad a**.

Do our two blonde vampire hunting babes, the ones with the denim short shorts, have what it takes to take down Vampire Master's minions?  One wonders if they could battle Kate Beckinsale's Selena...wouldn't we love to see that catfight?!  Okay, back to our film.  Is John's faith strong enough to take on the most evil of evil vampires?  Is there any way John might be able to end up with Tara Reid?  Maybe he could turn her back.  The cast is epic and the plot is wild.  This is a roller-coaster of a post-apocalyptic horror film with some great cheese and crossbow action.  This Halloween, make sure you see "Bloodthirst."  This film will be available starting Halloween.   

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