Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Motorboat, Sunbathers and RVers Beware!

I'm always delighted when the actors and writers in Hollywood go on strike.  Good riddance Ron Howard and Tom Hanks...go away and please, stay away! For some great summer fare, horror film fare, we always have the Polonia Brothers!  In a movie for our precarious time in history, those terrific moviemakers give us 2023's "Motorboat."  Directed by Mark and Anthony Polonia, we have a film that anyone with a SAG card would've been incapable to give us.  So, again...shut up Fran Drescher!  Go away, in fact.  Let us concentrate on real moviemakers.

Messiah Ward (Michael Korotitsch) and his Brotherhood of Darkness Cult terrorize small communities.  They abduct the innocent and disembowel them on an altar of evil.  Father Thomas (Tim Hatch) has had enough and massacres the cult.  Two years go by...and now a possessed motorboat terrorizes Lake Jude and shreds beach-goers and RVers in its propellers.  Very sad.  Driving the phantom boat is the ghost of Ward.  Now Lake Patrol Chief Barney (Jeff Kirkendall) is investigating these boat propeller accidents.  The coroner confirms they are in fact homicides. Poachers, a nubile sunbather (Jamie Morgan), and RVers will all be shredded in the meantime.

Now Father Thomas and Barney team up to battle to resurrected Messiah Ward.  Barney has a gun.  Thomas advises him bullets will do no good in this battle.  Thomas loads up with crosses and holy water and the two begin hunting the evil phantom.  Much evil ground will be consecrated which will force Ward to come out and fight.  Now Barney and Thomas have had enough of the murders and try to take the fight to Ward.  Uh oh...Ward has already figured on taking the fight to them.  Ward and his ghostly motorboat don't intend to drydock...and our holy duo will fight to the death to end Ward's carnage.

This is no shark attack!  Will Messiah Ward be able to reassemble his cult?  Will Thomas and Barney have enough faith to battle a force from the depths of Hell?  Will the irrelevant souls striking in Hollywood ever get a clue that we do not want them back?  The Polonia Brothers have given us a terrific beach horror film.  Avoid the new "Indiana Jones" monstrosity and see "Motorboat."    

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