Sunday, July 30, 2023

Amityville Emanuelle, The Most Awkward Emanuelle Film Ever

Okay...when we do get to the is incredibly awkward.  Sure, Laura Gemser and Sylvia Kristel seemed natural at threesomes.  Of course, those two beauties did not have the infamous mass-murderer, Ronald DeFeo. Jr., intruding.  Today we have the most realistic (okay, not really) Amityville film ever, 2023's "Amityville Emanuelle," directed by Louis DeStefano.  Women's prisons, cannibal jungles, The Mediterranean, and castles...Emanuelle has been around. Why not Amityville?  Okay, that won't happen here as the film is set in L.A.

Laura Lutz (Dawn Church) is our Emanuelle in this film.  She's very horny and the ghost of Ronald DeFeo wants her.  He'll get her as she is a bit of a slut.  A weird woman brings Laura a box of junk left to her by her dad.  Her dad was the bloke who moved into the Amityville house after DeFeo murdered his family.  Among the contents of the box is DeFeo's ashes.  Okay...Gordon (Shane Ryan) is DeFeo's son.  He is having visions of his dad returning and murdering his friends.  His babe GF Gena (Allie Perez), who loves passion and sex, wants to help him. Laura has an Asian babe friend, Allie (Linda S. Wong) who tries to fix her up. Enter Evan (Chris Spinelli), a dweeb history teacher. Now DeFeo appears under the sheets when Laura satisfies herself...she does not mind this too much. What Emanuelle figure would?

As Allie looks really good, just had to mention that, Laura realizes she needs to do something. Now Gena, and what a passionate babe she is (did I mention that?) brings in her weird cousin, Janet (Saint Heart), who is a medium.  Seances and Ouija boards will be utilized in this film, and pizzas will be ordered. Our cast will engage in pre-marital sex, and a menacing Ronald DeFeo will try to rape and murder. The great horror mind Geno McGahee wrote this one...and we are all grateful for him introducing Emanuelle into the horror genre. Oh!  The ending!  Absolutely classic!

Will the hot Allie get as much action as Gena and Laura receive in this film?  Will Ronald DeFeo commit another mass murder, decades after the Amityville one?  Which babe will DeFeo choose to plant his seed in...if it gets that far?  Forget about Barbi!  Bring back Emanuelle...and thankfully Mr. McGahee and Mr. DeStefano have done just that.  See "Amityville Emanuelle" and see what the whole country is talking about.  


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