Wednesday, August 23, 2023

The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven, Carmen Electra, Catfights, and Milk

Classic!  Carmen Electra clad in a tight shiny silver bodysuit with shiny silver stiletto hooker boots.  Along comes the sultry Debra Xavier in a black leather dominatrix outfit with black stiletto hooker boots.  The two get in a catfight to the death!  This reminds me...does Miss Electra still date Dennis Rodman? Okay, dumb question.  Today we have a gratuitous film where Miss Electra will be nude a lot, have a lot of steamy pre-marital sex, and engage in an epic catfight.  Our film today is 1998's "The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven," directed by Lawrence Lanoff. 

Playboy Playmate Shauna Sand plays Emma.  She'll be chased, caught, stripped to her undies, and brutally murdered.  Uh oh...Emma was some sort of chosen one by the Indians, equipped to fight evil...now she's gone.  Along comes Emma's sultry sister, McKenna (Electra).  Home for the funeral the Indian tribe tells her she must be the new chosen one.  McKenna balks but Emma's ghost comes back and trash talks McKenna to agree.  McKenna is sweet on the sheriff, Henry (Dave Oliver). The two will have steamy sex in this film while McKenna pours cold milk all over them.  This looks a lot better on the silver screen than it may seem. The trouble is Henry's GF is the sultry Nora (Debra Xavier).  When Nora finds out Henry is busting nuts with McKenna...Nora goes to the dark side and aligns with meth-dealer Cole (Michael Stedvec).

Okay...McKenna is now The Raven with a task to fight evil.  She and Nora are murdered together and tossed in the same grave.  McKenna, being a half-deity, rises out of the grave.  Uh oh...Nora rises as the evil wolf deity, sworn to murder The Raven.  Nora will don dominatrix garb and McKenna will don the aforementioned bodysuit. Nora will murder...McKenna will save the innocent.  This will not continue too long. Soon, McKenna and Nora realize they must murder one another.  You'll see.  The ending is soooo great!  One may say it tops the catfight between Heather Locklear and Emma Samms in "Dynasty."

As McKenna dumps milk all over herself, and Henry licks it up, is there a chance Nora will intrude for a threesome?  Who will win the battle, The Raven or The Wolf?  Is this the definitive film that captures the ethos of Native Americans?  Gratuitous and satisfying, Carmen Electra's performance, and what she is willing to do on film, will make us all grateful.  For a prurient good time, see "The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven." 

No comments:

Post a Comment