Tuesday, August 15, 2023

Blind Waters, Shark vs. Blind Bikini Babe

The Asylum celebrates their 25th anniversary this year. We are so thankful for them. As we have just left Shark Week, we can be grateful they still make shark films.  Today is a typical Asylum creation as we'll enjoy a nubile bikini babe, a big ugly shark, useless men, and and equally useless Coast Guard.  Throw in a psychopathic killer and a purse snatcher and we have all we need to survive the remainder of the summer. Today we look at 2023's "Blind Waters," written and directed by Anthony C. Ferrante.

So cute...Valentina a bikini babe (Meghan Carrasquillo) and hunk Weston (Noam Sigler) are enjoying each other at a Mexican resort...or is it San Diego? No matter. The next day they rent a fishing boat to go SCUBA diving.  As they are doing this, Gabe (Francisco Angelini) murders a captain and steals his boat. He cons an American family to come along.  Sadly, the family, which includes two bikini babes, is eaten by a monster shark.  Now the shark destroys Gabe's boat and he gets away on a raft.  Our lovers go SCUBA diving.  After a boneheaded move by Weston, he loses the engagement ring and a shark scares Valentina.  Now both failures are back on the boat and the shark attacks the boat. Valentina suffers a bump on the head and is now blind.  The shark keeps at it and capsizes the boat.

Our lovers are on the top of the capsized vessel as the monster circles them.  It won't go away.  Hey!  Wow! Guess what!  There's a big island 50 feet away...but with a shark in the water, it is a long 50 feet.  They do reach the Coast Guard by cellphone, but it is a low energy Coast Guard.  Probably supply chain issues.  Not counting on these guys, our lovers try to strategize. Their options are limited.  Our bikini babe is great looking, but her blindness makes her a liability,  Still, she's too good looking to just sacrifice her to the shark God.  Uh oh...the island may hold more dangers than one would think.  What is on the island may be just as deadly as the mini-Meg.

Is Valentina in a maroon bikini too beautiful to be chewed up and swallowed?  Can Weston do anything right?  Even blind, is the babe Valentina more likely to figure out something than all the useless men in this Asylum production?  The monster shark is terrific and some good shark effects highlight this film along with the maroon bikini.  For some nice summer fun, see "Blind Waters."   

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