Friday, December 2, 2022

Book of Fire, The Plague, Seances, and Babe Sacrifices

,Justinian!  Who was Justinian? of those blokes who if you talk about, peeps think you're smart.  He lived a long time ago and survived the plague.  Interested?  Right!  What better way to learn more about Justinian than with a hot Asian babe as a guide.  Let this Asian babe, clad in a skimpy leather gladiator outfit (or maybe a skimpy white toga), lead you by the hand as she guts other hot babes, romances Justinian, and faces redemption in purgatory.  Why oh why isn't this a plot that is continuously remade.  Today we look at Tommy Frazier's 2015 epic, "Book of Fire."  Perhaps not Chasty Ballesteros' magnum opus...but close.

Justinian (Shane brolly) is minding his own business in an orgy with several naked babes.  He'll be interrupted by the aforementioned hot Asian babe, his lover, Dhani (Ballesteros).  Before joining in the orgy, she gives her lover a book that looks like the Necronomicon...the Book of Fire.  With it, he'll be all powerful...that is if he accepts it.  He does, but fails to read the small print.  Now the bubonic plague spreads through the land.  Justinian and Dhani are immune but must murder babes and hunks by the hundreds to remain immune.  Fast forward to the 21st century...Nina (Nicole Sienna) is a college babe on her 19th birthday.  Her buddies are throwing her a toga themed birthday party. Her adoptive mom (Catherine Bach) tries to tell her some secrets about where she came from. 

Nina gets a clue she is in danger when she is sucked through a fiery portal in her bathroom into purgatory.  I know, we've all been there. There she will befriend a Nazi death camp guard (Joshua Rosenthal) who will help her break some curse.  Meanwhile, Dhani murders by the hundreds but feels bad.  Anyway, to speed the plot along, Justinian, Dhani, and Justinian's wife Theodora (Carmen Electra) go through the portal and end up at Nina's party...looking like they belong.  Dhani and Theodora will be unmerciful to Nina's babe friends.  Now Nina and her Nazi buddy desperately try to find the Book of Fire for some unknown reason.  Babes will die horribly, as will their hunk boyfriends.  The ending will be fiery and we wonder if Nina and Dhani will engage in an epic catfight.

Think the "Spartacus" TV series meets Full Moon Entertainment.  Not a Full Moon film, this one has the feel of it.  Will Dhani's guilty conscious cause her to help Nina?  Help Nina?  Help Nina do what?  Will Catherine Back and Carmen Electra engage in a catfight to rule all of purgatory?  Sounds ambitious, I know...just don't pay too much attention to the plot and you will thoroughly enjoy "Book of Fire" and all the babes and hunks included in it. This one will have the best cheese and beef factor of any film you've seen all year.    

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