Thursday, December 12, 2019

Killer Crocodile 2, Cinematic Greatness

Every time The Smithsonian does a list of greatest films of all time, there are at least five crocodile films in the top 10. No one disputes Crocodile 2: Death Swamp is the greatest film of all time. Italian film boards consistently rate Killer Crocodile as the most artistic film ever. It is a wonder that more movie-makers shun crocodiles in modern film. Capitalizing on the success and artistic praise leveled at "Killer Crocodile," director Giannetto De Rossi in 1990 made "Killer Crocodile 2." Say what you want about crocodile films but I think we can all agree there has never been a bad film in which nuns get eaten by these crocs...and today's film is no exception.
Just like in 1989's "Killer Crocodile," a wealthy developer is dumping radioactive waste into the swamp on a Caribbean island. Yep...again, this causes a croc to grow to 50 happens. The monster begins eating people starting with a nubile wind-surfer in an alluring white swimsuit. The thing is still hungry and eats two nuns and their schoolkids...really...a heartbreaking scene. The developer has a pesky reporter killed who is trying to expose this travesty. Then another reporter, the sultry Liza (Debra Karr) is sent to the island to pick up where her deceased colleague left off. She's very hot and wears the most alluring white outfits in the swamp. As she heads to the swamp, the developer sends a bunch of henchmen after her.
As Liza is beset by sweaty and brutish henchmen with murder and rape in mind, her newspaper sends the handsome Kevin (Richard Anthony Crenna) to help her. He's a guide and women need men to protect them...hey, this is an Italian film. Kevin meets up with his old mate, Joey (Ennio Girolami), who lives in the swamp...probably smells like a swamp, too. Kevin will get Joey eaten pretty quickly. He'll then find Liza and the two will fall in love and have pre-marital sex. The croc will eat henchmen and Liza's wardrobe will disappear and we will get a lot of gratuitous shots of her all wet and shiny. Now as water-skiers head into the swamp and Liza sweats and makes more moves for her hunk, the croc readies itself for another meal.
Will the nuble Liza ever realize she belongs in the kitchen and not in a man's world? Will Kevin be able to protect Liza's virtue from the henchmen and the monster croc? Is Liza's decreasing amount of clothes and undergarments a metaphor for Europe's increasing misogynistic attitude to professional women? This is a stellar film and it is probably a mere coincidence that Eurpoe has been going down the tubes since this film hit the silver screen. For some mean-monster-chasing-a-mostly-naked-nubile babe-action, see "Killer Crocodile 2." 

1 comment:

  1. Steve Irwin is turning in his grave, alas his life cut short. Has to be one of the best reviews this year. Loved it.