Friday, August 7, 2015

Planet of Dinosaurs, Creatures Eating Space-Babes

If you are like me, the latest "Jurassic Park" film had absolutely nothing for you.  I know ...conventional logic is the JP franchise has something for the entire family.  We are told these movies are frightening (...I know, but some think these are scary movies).  We are told that they have comedic elements that will appeal to young and old alike.  Etc. Etc. Etc.  I find these JP films annoying, preachy, and boring.  The CGI heavy monster movie, which throws annoying characters at us has as much creativity and uniqueness as Disney World.  You can have it.  For some real dinosaur fun, let us look at 1977's "Planet of Dinosaurs."  Space-Babes, grouchy hunks, lots of creatures, and all out war between humans and beasts, this 1970s campy feature is perfect summer time fun.
A crash landing dumps five hunks and four space-babes into a lake on an alien world.  The astral castaways swim to shore, but the beautiful Cindy (Mary Appleseth) decides to strip to her bra and panties (see picture above) and go for a swim.  She is eaten by a gator creature right away.  The survivors plunge inland and realize they are on a world dominated by dinosaurs.  Lee (Louie relation to Lucy) is the leader, but no one respects him.  He always wants to run from the creatures, but everyone else, including the babes, want to fight them and hunt them.  Nyla (Pamela Bottaro) was thinking of romancing him, but Lee's cowardice and indecision causes her to start to romance the brute, Jim (James Whitworth).  Jim grunts where Lee whimpers.  Jim wants to kill, Lee wants to compromise with the new environment. Nyla wants a real man. 
When Nyla is attacked by a monster spider, it is Jim who saves her.  Under Lee's command, the monsters continue to look at the survivors as a buffet.  Everyone, except Lee, learns how to man-up, even the resident skank, Derna (Derna Wylde).  Group cohesiveness begins to crumble.  Lee's rank is losing its luster, and our group starts making weapons.  The space-babes begin selecting their men, and Lee looks like the odd man out.  After the very shapely Derna goes down fighting to a T-Rex, and Charlotte (Charlotte Speer), the shapely nurse, is attacked by a raptor, our group makes a momentous decision.
Will Lee regain the respect of our castaways?  Will the real men of the crew and the space-babes get together and propel the human race on this alien world?  History shows that in 1977 America was looked at as a wimpish nation.  President Carter did nothing to show the world that America would stand up for freedom.  Then..."Planet of Dinosaurs" comes out showing that men can still be men and women can still be space-babes...and America was good again.  Available on YouTube, see "Planet of Dinosaurs" and ignore the latest "Jurassic Park" bore.

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