Slasher films, in the words of Bram Stoker, are like pizza...hot and juicy or cold and soggy...all good. Okay, Bram Stoker didn't say exactly that. Today we have a cold and soggy one. Or, that is until it gets revved up. We'll meet a bunch of young adults and detest all of them. Then we'll meet the slasher and he'll annoy, as opposed to horrify us. Through it all, we'll see a complete movie and by the end love it. Why? Who knows, maybe sometimes cold pizza is the alternative to crab bisque. Both cold...but one speaks to us. Today we look at 2022's "Chatterbox," a slasher film from the U.K directed by Ben Patterson.
We meet six annoying friends. Summer (Gemma Harlow Dean) will spend most of the film calling her buds lazy, drunk, and spoilt rich kids. On Summer's part, her work ethic can only be seen with a microscope. She makes a bad investment and buys an old cavernous house in the country to fix up and flip for a profit. She brings her five mates with her to do the demo and redo...should've brought Chip Gaines. A lot of work to do...Heaven forbid they actually break a sweat. The mates will drink a lot. Lee (Colin Jones) loses interest fast when he hears that two years ago a psycho butchered his family there. Then when Lee is told that psycho just escaped from a mental asylum, he walks out on his friends. He'll be butchered before he gets to the road. Now the five friends continue without him...and drink more.
Summer has a BF, or we think he's a boyfriend. Eddie (Luke McArthur) shows no affection for the grouchy and lazy Summer. Jenny (Maria Hiscock) is sad because Lee left and demands everyone look for him. Doing this will get a lot of them killed...yay! Beth (Shaniece Williams) will die while...get this...taking a nap! It is here the movie gets really good. Our killer is in the house and wears a mask with a chatterbox mouth...very annoying. Stay tuned to the end and find out the significance about this. A lot of gory kills will occur. Summer will continue to put down her friends...and in a different way, so will the killer. But wait! I gotta give this one credit. The ending is fantastic! You'll see.
Did the makers of this film originally get rejected by HGTV and then decide to turn their pilot episode into a horror film? Will Beth ever stop yelling at her friends? Will any of the six mates think of changing the backslash behind the kitchen sink? A slasher film for the likes of Chip and Joanna Gaines, and eventually even you will love it. See "Chatterbox," and then stucco your ceiling.
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