Saturday, June 10, 2023

Smart House, ASMR Horror

Shhhh...let's whisper. I'll pour you some chamomile tea.  Would you like a nice warm blanket? You are all right.  Forgive yourself.  Show yourself compassion.  Click, click, hear the wind rustle through leaves. Yep...ASMR.  I didn't know this was a thing until John Oak Dalton sent me his latest film. Good for Mr. Dalton to bring the world of Yoga, meditation, and ASMR into brutal horror!  Today we have a techno-thriller to meditate on.  In the style of "Demon Seed" and Mindfulness...we have 2023's "Smart House."

Designed by her hacker dad, Mari (Iabou Windimere) lives in a 'smart house.' A device called Cassandra (Brinke Stevens), a lot like Alexa or Siri, controls everything...the locks, thermostat, the phone, coffeemaker, everything!  Mari does a livestream that garners tens of thousands of viewers.  She whispers ASMR to her peeps in order to relax them and ease anxiety. All is going well until Cassandra seemingly gets possessed by a demonic entity. Now the calm ASMR style of the livestream has given way to a calm manifesto of demonic utterings and apocalyptic foretelling.  Even worse...Cassandra has trapped Mari inside the house and probably intends to kill her after the manifesto is read.

Enter our hero...Mari's dad...Cordell (Tom Cherry).  He has an ankle bracelet (I know, we all have our ankle bracelet stories so let us not be judgmental).  He is under house arrest and because he hacked into The Pentagon he is not allowed near anything computerized.  When he finds out his creation, Cassandra, is menacing his daughter with demonic intentions, he must act.  Ah, Cordell might be serving his sentence at home with orders not to do anything tech...he is smarter than the judicial authorities.  Now Cordell must use his hacker skills, voyage into the Dark Web, and save his daughter...and Cassandra.  What happens is horrific and a dark reminder to all of us who have turned our lives over to our laptops, smartphones, and coffeemakers.  Use meditation and ASMR if you wish...but if you use your devices to facilitate it, you too could fall prey to the evil Cassandra.

Just what or who has possessed Cassandra?  Will Cordell and his ankle bracelet be able to hack into the evil entities identity and help his daughter?  Are you sure you want to ask Alexa to play your playlist?  This is a neat film with so many reminders that we have gladly turned our lives over to an inhuman force.  So go ahead...ask Alexa for a meditation technique or the number for an ASMR master...but if she furnishes you with the number of someone who will gag you and take a whip to you...well, you may have the same problem that has befallen Mari.  See "Smart House" and see the mess we have all gotten ourselves into.   

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