Welcome to Willits, Potheads, Aliens, and Dolph Lundgren

Right...I know...it opens pathways and makes us more conscious. Marijuana. Oh sure, society has held on to puritanical laws in order to keep the more sensitive and experimental citizens down. Oh yeah...marijuana is actually good for us. Yep, eases chemotherapy pain and helps fight glaucoma. Never mind the carnage it has caused on AMTRAK or to the brains of many a student...nope, marijuana brings us closer to our god, or to Dolph Lundgren. Hence, 2016's "Welcome to Willits," directed by Trevor Ryan.

Courtney (Anastasia Baranova) has come back to her hometown to spend a week-end with her uncle Brock (Bill Sage) and his GF, Peggy (Sabina Gadecki). Bad idea. Brock's brain shows the wares of decades of pot use and also meth use. Call him more conscious than the common man, or call him a waste-oid. He has an extensive marijuana farm on his property and lets Courtney in on a little secret. See, he wasn't actually in jail for two years...nope. Brock was abducted by vicious aliens who fooled with his brain and gave him the ability to make super-meth. Courtney is skeptical. Oh yes, while this is happening, six nymphomaniacs looking for booze and drugs set up camp near Brock's pot farm.

These six druggies believe it is their fortune to be camped next to a marijuana crop. Big problem! Brock believes homicidal space aliens are about to launch an invasion of his farm...and he's ready. After locking Courtney in a closet, and arming the once beautiful meth-head Peggy, he goes on the offensive to kill the aliens. Of course, when you have had decades of pot use attacking the brain, nymphomaniac campers can look a lot like aliens.  Oh yes, and your god or alien-leader, he can look a lot like Dolph Lundgren.

There will be axe carnage...shotgun carnage...knife carnage...nail carnage...and bear trap carnage. Severed body parts will litter the entire second half of this film. Ms. Gadecki and Mr. Sage steal the show in their portrayals of pathetic marijuana farmers.  Will any of the nymphos survive our wasted duo? Will 'shrooms enter this twisted plot?  Wait!  May the alien invasion be real? Instead of a DARE program, showing "Welcome to Willits" in every school in the nation may be the best anti-drug strategy we can come up with.