The House by the Cemetery, Listed by Lucio Fulci

Whether by the cemetery or by the mall, if Lucio Fulci is making a movie about a house...don't go in. Though largely shot in Massachusetts, this horror yarn is Italian in it's cast and mood. This 1981 film came out three years after Fulci's classic "Zombie." (To see that review click on this link ZOMBIE ). However, as far as drive-in theaters went, this Fulci film was usually matched up with either "The Last House on the Left" or "The House that Vanished." (For that review, click on this link VANISHED ). Either way, we have a Fulci film...filled with ominous gore.

After Dr. Peterson's murder suicide, Dr. Norman Boyle (Paolo Malco) is tapped to take over his research. To do this, he takes his wife Lucy (Catriona MacColl) and son Bob (Giovanni Frezzo) to a house by the cemetery near Boston where he can have some seclusion while he researches.  A couple of uh-ohs here: First, Bob has visions of a ghostly girl telling him not to come, Second, this is the same house that Peterson murdered his mistress (Daniela Doria) before his suicide.  Oh yes, how can I forget, the tomb of Dr. Freudstein (Giovanni De Nava) is planted in the front hallway of this mansion.

As the ghostly girl (Silvia Collatina) adopts Bob as a playmate, the beautiful Lucy hires the sultry Ann (Ania Pieroni) as his babysitter.  Wouldn't you know it, Bob had a vision of Ann's decapitated body earlier in the film.  It might be a beautiful head, but yes, Ann will be separated from it soon. Oh! The cellar is locked and when Norman unlocks it he is feasted on by a vampire bat in an elongated and bloody scene.  He survives, but wouldn't you know it, the dimwit won't leave the house. As something in the basement starts killing people and dragging their bodies in the cellar, Norman begins to find out the history of the house and Dr. Freudstein.  Now he is convinced they need to leave, but is it too late?

Lurid and heavy, "The House by the Cemetery" is a neat horror film.  The themes may be classic but the over-the-top gore makes this a genuine Fulci film. Two years previous, the underwhelming "The Amityville Horror" was released to disappointed audiences who yawned instead of winced. However this film would have given those same audiences some neat nightmares.  Available on YouTube, enjoy "The House by the Cemetery."

The Night Before Halloween, College Kids Shredded by Curse

An impressive looking cast should give us hunks and babes we pull for.  Not always. In the world of dark horror in which the moviemaker is more interested in delivering a horrific story than a light fluffy teen horror yarn, sometimes the characters aren't meant to survive. Now, we'll meet Beth (Natalie Ganzhorn), and we'll like her a lot...but she'll be shredded by the teens early on.  Those teens?  Well, they are great looking. In a dark Syfy original, Sheldon Wilson presents us the 2016 "The Night Before Halloween."

High school seniors gather at the babe Lindsay's (Kiana Madeira) house for a pre-Halloween party.  Uh oh, a prank goes wrong.  So wrong, the nubile and lovely Beth is left in a coma.  So what do her selfish and egotistical buddies do?  Call an ambulance?  Ha!  Well, they do, but dump her body in an industrial park first so they won't be connected to or blamed for her demise. Wait!  Not a prank. Kyle (Jahmil French) intentionally tried to murder Beth. Kyle is trying to rid himself of a curse.  If he can murder someone, he gets to live. If not, some weird Halloween monster made of flies will murder him.  Beth lives and Kyle dies.  Unbeknownst to his buddies, they are now cursed...and now they must commit murder on the night before Halloween next year.

Next year arrives and so does the night before Halloween.  Beth, who is brain dead and in the hospital, calls all of them and lets them know what they must do.  Megan (Bailee Madison) is at college now and her and all her buddies race back home believing Beth has waken from a coma.  They can't have Beth talking...or all might end up in jail. Adam (Justin Kelly) also arrives and he and Megan are sweet on one another.  So do a couple others.  The friends are faced with a reality.  Each has to commit a murder or be murdered by this creature made of flies. However much they adore one another, they look at each other as a Doberman looks at a lambchop. As much as Megan loves Adam, vice versa, the duo can only live if they murder the other one.  Where does this all end?  Break the curse or die. Just how trustworthy is a friend who you share a deadly secret with?

Will the friends murder one another or try to find another way to break the curse?  Has anyone thought of a big cannister of Raid to deal with the monster made of flies?  Wouldn't have things turned out better if these teens turned to pre-marital sex or skinny dipping instead of stupid pranks at Halloween parties?  Great cheese and beef highlights this dark horror film.  For billions of insects, and a twisted plot that sees the beautiful marred horribly, see "The Night Before Halloween."    

Devil Bat's Daughter, And She's Quite the Dish

Who knew the thing had a daughter? Wait, "The Devil Bat" was a mad scientist, experimenting with cell-growth stimulation...on bats.  The bats got loose, killed him, and many others. Could have happened to any of us who have laboratories in our homes. Could a sultry dame, helpless and vulnerable, also be a murderer? Our feature today is 1946's "Devil Bat's Daughter," directed by Frank Wisbar.

Devil Bat's daughter, Nina (Rosemary La Planche), has arrived from Europe after missing out on all the festivities. Her dad was killed by the bats he gave his cell-growth stimulant to, as were a whole bunch of other people. She goes home to see her dad and finds out he's long dead and the mansion is in ruins. Now she's catatonic and the esteemed psychiatrist Dr. Clifton Morris will treat her. Oh, Clifton is a sly operator and has an affair going with his wife's bestie, Myra (Monica Mars). She's a doll.  Clifton's wife? Ellen (Molly Lamont) is hardly as exciting nor glamorous as Myra. Okay, Ellen takes a liking to the catatonic Nina and when Nina begins responding to Clifton's treatment, Ellen insists she stay at their house instead of the hospital.  There, Clifton can treat the scared Nina for nightmares and hallucinations.  Nina keeps dreaming about big bats attacking. Clifton keeps giving her pills...guess what's in the pills. Here comes the hunk Ted (John James). Ted is a soldier on leave and Ellen is his mom, and Clifton is his stepdad. Ted always thought Clifton married Ellen for her money.

Okay, Ted and Nina fall in love. Today we have apps for that, back in 1946 we had catatonic trances and helplessness.  We've come a long way. Uh oh...Clifton and Myra want to elope but Ellen is in the way. Then Ted's dog is murdered...then Ellen.  Nina, who is having blackout spells, hallucinations, and a dad who was a mad scientist murderer is arrested.  Ted, who loves Nina is convinced she is not the killer. He's the only one who thinks that as even Nina believes she is a killer.  Ted has a plan and it calls for him to get to know Nina's dad (who is dead), his experiments, and to find the experiment notes of The Devil Bat. 

Just what of The Devil Bat's failed experiments on cell-growth stimulation can help Ted prove Nina's innocence?  Any chance of Myra being turned into a big bat?  Can Ted prove Clifton murdered his mother, thus saving Nina from the electric chair?  This is a terrific B horror film with fine looking dames and a hunk hero.  For a nice Friday night creature feature, with big bats, and homicidal maniacs, see "Devil Bat's Daughter." 

Sorority of the Damned, Nubile Sorority Babes Demonized

Wait! The sultry Sarah French as a shrieking ugly witch? Yep...that's what you call a versatile actress. Okay, sorority babes as demons.  You college guys are nodding your heads too enthusiastically here. Nubile babes becoming demons may not be such a big reach, but here we mean, real demons.  Like conjured from Hell and reciting pagan incantations.  Okay, I know, normal stuff at any Tri-Delta sorority house. Forget it, never mind, let's just plough into a discussion of 2025's "Sorority of the Damned, " directed by Joe Davison and Roy Knyrim.

Trevor (Davison) is a boorish janitor/maintenance man who is frequently called to a bitchy sorority house on campus to unclog toilets of feminine hygiene products. The house mother is the witch Angela (Felissa Rose) and the sorority president is the sultry lesbian Amber (Kaleina Cordova). All the sisters are sultry and Jenny (Sydney Carvill) is a clean cut one and her only friend in the sorority is Morgan (Chelsea Jordan). The redhead Circey (Jaime Brightbill) is Amber's object of desire, and Grace (Kourtney George) and Morai (Olivia Cordell) are two nubile babes that will either get their face ripped off or be ripped in two. Okay, Trevor finds a secret room in the sorority house's basement that is actually a temple with an altar in it.  He also finds a Necronomicon type book with satanic spells, incantations, and curses. Now Angela commandeers this book and gathers the sisters into the room for a rite.

Angela forces Jenny to get naked and has the other girls, some naked, hold her to the altar. Angela does a spell and all the girls are now demons, except Grace and Morai who will be murdered in graphic fashion. After a blood-rite or two, the demon sisters go to a cemetery where they will resurrect dead witches including Sarah French. Oh, Trevor finds out that in addition to being a janitor, he is also the latest of a bloodline that kills demons. Now equipped with some demon killing tools, he sets off to stop the demons from destroying the world. The nubile sisters are now hideous and vicious demons. Trevor always had a soft spot for Jenny and does not want to murder the girls, just the demons that possess them. A raucous final showdown will occur where the world will either be destroyed or saved.

Are the demons in this film as bad as sorority sisters in general at American universities? Will college guys see this film and wonder where the fiction lies?  Is the use of feminine hygiene products clogging toilets as a plot device a metaphor for the awful state of the higher education system in America?  The babes in this film are all sultry and the acting is sensational.  For a tremendous cheese factor and a really neat action-hero demon hunter, see "Sorority of the Damned."   

Murders in the Zoo, Such Horrible Ways to Die

Snakes, other reptiles, tigers, lions, and rhinos!  These things belong in the wild...a place man does not belong. In their element, many of them are perfect killing machines.  Throw in humans, passion, and jealousy, and we have a bloody mix of carnage and homicide. This one is so icky that it was banned in most European countries upon its release. Our feature today is 1933's "Murders in the Zoo," directed by A. Edward Sutherland. 

Eric Gorman (Lionel Atwell) is in India with his sultry wife, Evelyn (Kathleen Burke). So sultry is Evelyn that no hunk can resist her.  When Eric sees the hunk Bob (Edward Pawley) kiss her, he grabs him, sews his lips shut, binds his hands, and throws him to the tigers. Very messy! Eric is in India collecting animals for a zoo back home. On the boat ride home, Evelyn develops a thing for the handsome Roger (John Lodge). This won't go well for Roger as one of the things Eric is bringing home is a Green Mamba, a very poisonous snake. Nevertheless, all make it home safely, and Eric is able to give the zoo owner (Harry Beresford) some neat finds.  Zoologists Dr. Jack Woodford (Randolph Scott) and his nubile fiancé Jerry (Gail Patrick) study the animals.  Jack is especially interested in the Green Mamba and extracts its venom to try to find an anti-toxin.

Evelyn hates Eric.  She knows he murders any guy that shows an interest in her.  She loves Roger and when her lover becomes a victim of the Green Mamba, she is ready to leave and let the cops know of her husband's deeds.  This won't go well for her. Sadly, the sultry Evelyn will cease being sultry and also cease being in one piece. You'll see.  Now Eric begins feeling the heat as he tries to blame Jack's incompetence for the Green Mamba getting loose.  Jack is smart and finds more clues.  Now Jack and the nubile Jerry are in danger from a maniacal Eric and his zoo animals.

Did the lovely Evelyn deserve her fate?  Will Jack and Jerry survive the snakes, alligators, and lions and live happily ever after?  Who would win a steel cage match, a lion or a Green Mamba?  This is an icky one and the deaths are excruciating and sometimes heartbreaking.  For some nice pre-code horror, see "Murders in the Zoo."   

Die, Monster, Die!, Boris Karloff Does HP Lovecraft

What a combo! Boris Karloff and HP Lovecraft. Why not? A creepy old mansion secreted deep in the foggy moors!  Tentacled creatures caged in the greenhouse! Disfigured beings terrorizing the beautiful! Then the mysterious mad scientist pulling all the strings and fooling around with nature in such a way that only the horrific can be the result. Our feature today, from 1965 is "Die, Monster, Die!"  This one is directed by Daniel Haller.

An American, Stephen (Nick Adams) arrives in Arkham, in England. When the townspeople find out he is headed to the Witley mansion, deep into the moors, they avoid him. Now Stephen has to trek on foot to see the woman he loves, the nubile and big...ah, well she has a big smile, Susan (Suzan Farmer). He wants to marry her and the woman of the house, Letitia Witley (Freda Jackson) has sent for him. On the stroll there, Nick notices a huge crater and every form of vegetation had burnt to a crisp. Once at the mansion, wheelchair bound Noham Witley (Karloff) meets him and orders him to leave. Well, Susan's great big... smile, helps Stephen decide to stay.  Mistake. Now it is apparent that Nahum wants to keep the secrets of the mansion secret. This won't be easy. Stephen pays tribute to Letitia, who is bedridden and hidden behind a veiled curtain.  Letitia begs Stephen to take Susan away.

Nahum tends to his laboratory/dungeon/cellar, where there is a big glowing green rock...pulsating. Meanwhile, all of the Witley servants either melt, burn to a crisp, go homicidally insane, or disfigure. A scientist, Stephen postulates uranium and radiation poisoning.  Nahum postulates a gift from God. Now Susan and Stephen investigate the greenhouse when it begins glowing green. After Susan is nearly engulfed by a plant, a zoo from Hell is spotted, and now Susan and Stephen flee with a good idea of what is exactly going on at this estate.  Nahum?  He retreats to the basement and faces the horrors which have been created. Final showdowns and more revelations await.

Just what is causing the grotesque horror at the Witley estate?  Can Stephen save Susan from disfigurement, spontaneous combustion, and insanity?  Will the creatures in the "Zoo from Hell" get loose and begin stalking the non-mutated?  These questions are ones we can all apply in our daily lives, as HP Lovecraft is becoming more and more relatable to modern audiences.  For a good one, during this Halloween season, see Boris Karloff in "Die, Monster, Die!"

Return to House on Haunted Hill, Back into the Haunted House

Baphemut!  Who, or what is it?  Who care's!? Cerina Vincent and her great big...smile is in this film!  We have not done a Cerina Vincent film in a while.  Also in it is the lovely and dangerous Calita Rainford, who plays a hot Asian henchwoman clad in leather wielding a lot of weapons.  Sadly, Ms. Rainford will have her face cut off by Jeffrey Combs and cease being beautiful early in this film...happens. Today we look at a sequel to 1999's "House on Haunted Hill," 2007's "Return to House on Haunted Hill," directed by Victor Garcia.

Ariel (Amanda Righetti) is sad. Her sister, who survived the original film, has died by apparent suicide. The sultry magazine executive will be forced to go back to the insane asylum/house on Haunted Hill by thug Desmond (Erik Palladino) and his henchmen and henchwoman Harue (Rainford). Sadly, the babe Asian will be offed soon by ghost mad scientist Vannacut (Combs). Also along is Professor Hammer (Steven Pacey), Paul (Tom Riley), Ariel's hunk beau, and Michelle (Vincent) who serves no purpose other than wearing a tight top displaying nice cleavage. Desmond wants the Baphemut statue because a buyer will pay him millions for it.  Hammer wants it too, for academic purposes, of course.  The ghosts begin appearing and when they do...you're dead.  Henchmen will be pulled apart, the babe henchwoman will be sliced up and lose her face during hot lesbian sex with sultry and nude female ghosts (what a scene this is!), etc.

Ariel realizes she needs to get out of the house with her beau, Paul.  Uh oh...Ariel is given visions by some ghosts that indicate she needs to stay in the house, find Baphemut, and destroy it. Desmond proves just as threatening as the ghosts of this insane asylum and the mad doctor.  Michelle?  Vannacut finds her and...well, sometimes impressive cleavage is not enough to ward off evil spirits...go figure. Now the dead return to life, ghosts appear, and Vannacut is dead set against allowing Baphemut to be destroyed.  Ariel, however, just may be too pretty to die...though we also said this about Harue and Michelle.

Will Ariel be able to destroy Baphemut and get her and Paul out of the evil house?  Will Desmond's greed prevent all of this?  Will Vannacut cut any parts of Ariel off and dump them in a pile that also contains Harue's face?  Bet you never thought you'd hear that question today when you slid out of bed.  This is a good one with great cheese and gore.  For some terrific haunted insane asylum drama with hot chicks, see "Return to House on Haunted Hill."