100 Feet, The Ghost and Famke Janssen

I first saw 2008's "100 Feet" on the Syfy Channel, and then last week on Netflix.  A violent ghost story in which Famke Janssen ("Deep Rising") plays a woman who killed her abusive husband in self-defense, only to have to defend herself from his ghost.  Born in The Netherlands, the former Chanel model studied literature in college (as did I).  Captivating in all of her screen roles, including this one, even though her character in "100 Feet" is un-glamorous and rough around the edges.  This film serves as a metaphor for unhealed scars of abused women, and Janssen's portrayal is magnificent as a scared and angry victim.

As our story begins, Marnie (Janssen) has just been released from prison. She served two of three years for manslaughter.  Her final year of the sentence will be served in her home under house arrest, wearing an ankle bracelet.  If she steps over 100 feet from the monitoring device, centrally located in her Brooklyn brownstone, the NYPD will be alerted.  Her victim?  Mike (Michael Pare), her husband, a NYPD cop.  Mike beat her several times and in self defense, she killed him.  Mike's partner, Shanks (Bobby Cannavale) is determined to make sure Marnie doesn't leave her house. Shanks and Mike were partners, and he doesn't believe the self-defense story.  Not long after arriving home, Marnie gets to work removing the blood stain from a wall.....but wouldn't you know it?  The stain keeps reappearing.  Strange noises and creaking floorboards also serve to unnerve Marnie.  Then one day, Mike's ghost (see photo below) appears and beats up Marnie.  Seeing Marnie bruised and battered, Shanks starts to believe Marnie may not be the fiend he thought she was.  

Ostracized by her old neighbors (all of them loved Mike), Marnie makes a friend.  The beautiful outcast makes a connection with an 18 year old delivery boy, Joey (Ed Westwick).  He is handsome, sensitive, caring, and about to be turned into a hairy blob of strawberry ice cream by Mike.  As Mike's attacks on Marnie increase in intensity, and the bruises get more severe, Shanks pleads with her to tell him exactly what is going on.  No fool is she, Marnie knows no one would believe her story about the ghost.  Unable to resist each other Joey and Marnie have a night of passion.  Hopefully it was worth it for Joey, as Mike is waiting for him when he awakes.  In front of Marnie, Mike twists Joey in the most unnatural positions, and ensures the death is torturous and bloody...a message for Marnie.  As the exciting, and horrifying conclusion approaches, Marnie tries over and over again to rid her home of Mike....never successfully.

Will Marnie survive her year under house arrest?  With Joey turned into meatloaf, will Shanks take the opportunity to move in on his dead partner's widow?  This is a violent ghost story, and at times the beatings inflicted on Marnie are difficult to watch.  "100 Feet" is a good one with scares, suspense, and the beautiful Famke Janssen.  There is a scene containing Hitchcockian suspense concerning a garbage disposal that will have you turning your head.  Next time you access Netflix, select "100 Feet," and get ready for a really scary ghost story.   

Uninvited, The Loose Coeds vs. the Kitty Cat

Two nymphomaniac coeds on spring break in Fort Lauderdale may not appear to you as ingredients for an effective horror story...but wait.  Throw in a cute kitty cat, a couple of beefy college kids, a perverted rich guy who wants sex, and a grouchy George Kennedy....yep, now we have the stuff nightmares are made of. As much fun as 1988's "Uninvited" is, the blood, guts, severed body parts, and ominous settings are not sacrificed.  Though this movie is heavy on the coeds, Suzanne (Shari Shattuck) and Bobbie (Clare Carey), dancing in bikinis, finding any occasion to shed those bikinis, and acquiring intimacy from anyone available, these are not reasons to categorize this film as mindless trash.

  Deep in the bowels of a top secret genetics laboratory, a test cat  escapes.  This tabby rips through 18 scientists, guys in containment suits, and security guards during it's getaway.  No ordinary house cat, this one has an inner-self...literally.  When it attacks, out of its mouth comes a ferocious mutant cat-thing (see photo below) with a venomous bite and bad attitude.  After the attack, it crawls back into it's "shell" and resumes it's identity has a cute pet.  While this is occurring, Bobbie and Suzanne are being thrown out of hotels as every one is overbooked.  Billionaire Walter Graham (Alex Cord) drools when he sees Bobbie (both pictured above) and invites these babes to spend their break on his luxury yacht.  The girls accept and bring dates with them including Corey (Rob Estes from "Silk Stalkings") and brainiac Martin (Eric Larsen).  The monster cat is also heading in the same direction, attacking car thieves and schmucks along the way.  At the dock, Suzanne takes pity on this stray feline (ignoring it's collar from a genetics lab) and brings the fiend on board.

Also on the ship is Rachel (Toni Hudson).  This cutie used to own the boat until Walter stole it in a financial scheme.  In fact, the SEC is about to close in on Walter for stealing from his corporations and moving the money offshore.  Thus the yacht is headed to the Grand Cayman Islands.  Walter wants sex with Bobbie and the fact that Bobbie sun bathes a lot and does aerobics in a half nude state make Walter very determined.  Mike is Walter's muscle and he yells at the girls a lot and tries to ruin everyone's fun.  While Bobbie does aerobics, Walter tries to rape her.  This sets off a fight which results in Mike (George Kennedy) firing his gun.  Sensing danger, the cat changes into the monster and starts biting people.  First it bites two of Walter's men (including Mike), and they die tortuous deaths as their veins explode.  Now the cat is on the prowl, and it's venom contaminates the food and water on the yacht.  Now the hunted, our not too bright villains and coeds try to kill this thing before it gets them.  As the days at sea without food and water weaken our crew and passengers, will these beauties and hunks fend off an amorous Walter, and kill the cat?  As the cast is killed off one by one, Rachel and Martin emerge as the only level heads aboard.

As the yacht, now contaminated, drifts off course, will our babes live to see another spring break?  Director Greydon Clark ("Satan's Cheerleaders") knows his biggest asset in this film are the female members of the cast, and the viewer never has to look long to get a good view of them.  Shattuck and Carey turn in very enjoyable performances, and are perfect as damsels in much peril.  Yeah...the creature might not be Alien or Predator, but this cat does provide the means for much gore.  Widely available, and in good quality, on YouTube, "Uninvited" is a lot of fun and beats any Harrison Ford film over the past 30 years.   

   

Beyond the Grave, The Walking Dead of Brazil

In Brazil, they are not "walkers," rather "returners."  The Brazilian term may be a bit too contrived, but they do play better football (soccer) than we do.  2010's "Beyond The Grave" mixes elements of "The Walking Dead," "Mad Max," and Lucio Fulci films to give us a moody zombie film, where as in any good zombie film, the zombies are not the main villains.  The real villain in this film is evil....pure satanic evil.  To make matters a bit more intriguing, our protagonist (Rafael Tombini) is a police officer with a souped up black car, who is almost as evil as  the force he is hunting.  The post-apocalyptic setting will remind you more of "The Road Warrior" than a George Romero film, though zombies are omnipresent.

As our film begins, the officer is travelling through Brazil with files of criminals.  In the post-apocalyptic landscape, not a whole lot of people are around.  Those who have survived are quickly falling prey to a serial killer who kills in really disgusting ways.  The officer finds the hide-out and shoots to death three of the killer's henchmen, and then the fiend (who is armed with a samurai sword).  Uh oh, not the typical mortal, this fiend's evil soul can jump into another body upon death.  Even after killing his arch enemy, the officer knows he must search for it again.  On his travels he "befriends" and picks up a really clean-cut man and woman.  There job is to stay in the car as he examines gory crime scenes.  If "returners" approach...our couple warns him.  With each new crime scene, the officer realizes he is getting closer.  In addition to body parts, he also finds pentagrams and signs of devil worship.  

As the officer and his tow new friends find more crime scenes, they come across three people hiding in a school.  The setting is a safe one, and these three (a wise man, a pregnant woman, and a jerk) are content to wait out the zombie apocalypse (good move).  However, the number of returners is increasing and our trio continue their patrol.  When they meet up with evil next, it is in the form of a beautiful cowgirl (straight out of a spaghetti western) and her two henchmen.  Their weapons are supernatural and made out of bones.  As the good guys then fall in very blood curdling ways, the officer realizes that the real secret in fighting this devil is with more evil.  He then consults the Brazilian version of the Necronomicon, and the fight is on.

Fans of any of the genres mentioned above (including spaghetti westerns) will enjoy this film.  The tone is ominous throughout.  Fans of horror will recognize elements of "The Exorcist," "The Evil Dead," and "Zombie" in this work.  Eschewing any humor, this film will come close to creeping you out.  If you are feeling sophisticated and elitist (...or want people to think you are), or want to impress guests at cocktail parties, see "Beyond the Grave," and drink (sip) an expensive Shiraz.      

 

Black Zoo, Jungle Carnage comes to L.A.

1963's "Black Zoo" is a little seen jewel, and a demented version of "Dr. Doolittle."  Over-the-top performances by Tony Award winner Michael Gough and Jeanne Cooper as an English couple running a small zoo in the middle of Los Angeles are all too appropriate as they are often acting opposite chimps, lions, and tigers.  With the modern day controversies surrounding the treatment of confined animals in our zoos, perhaps "Black Zoo" serves as a warning, and allows us to rethink our treatment of them.  Or perhaps "Black Zoo" is a man versus nature flick set in a developing urban setting.

As our story begins, the very lovely Mary (Warrene Ott) is mauled by a tiger (see above) in the middle of L.A., while walking home.  Apparently Mary was snooping around too much at her job at Conrad's Animal Kingdom.  Michael Conrad (Gough) runs this zoo and he is very protective of his animals.  As L.A. grows, the city counsel is re-zoning major portions of it so more residential homes can be built.  When Conrad is approached by a seedy developer who tries to blackmail him into selling his zoo to him, Conrad visits him at his home with a lion.  The police are baffled as now they have two wild animal attacks in L.A.  Meanwhile, Edna (Cooper) is Conrad's abused wife.  She has an outstanding chimp show which would horrify the modern viewer.  You see, the act culminates with a chimp lighting and smoking a cigarette.  The zoo features big cats (a lion, tiger, two cheetahs, and a black leopard).  Claiming to love the animals more than humans, Conrad in reality is exploiting them to his evil ends.  When one of his workers abuses the tiger, the tiger claws him.  The unfortunate miscreant then shoots the tiger to death, and is then thrown to the lion by Conrad.  What happens next is most eerie....a night time funeral for the tiger attended by the Conrads', their mute zoo hand, and the other large cats.

Depressed at his loss, Conrad goes to "church."  Not your ordinary church.  Church of "The True Believers" is a bunch of animal worshipers who do a ceremony to put the deceased tiger's soul into a cub (see above).  His so-called love for animals is not matched with love for Edna.  In some hard to watch scenes, Conrad physically abuses Edna.  Edna reaches her tipping point and talks with Jenny Brooks (Virginia Grey) an agent and accepts an offer to bring her chimp act to the country's largest circus.  Unfortunately for Jenny, Conrad is not keen on letting his wife leave, so as Jenny drives into her driveway, she is met by a gorilla (see below).  The LAPD now have three murders, which they know about, and put all their resources on the case.  Kudos to the LAPD who state that the animals are not to blame and are hunting for a deranged animal trainer.  In fact, at no time in "Black Zoo" do we see the animals as monsters, as Conrad emerges as a demented fiend. 

As the LAPD accumulate more clues, Edna realizes what is going on.  Will Edna be able to escape her mad husband and his cats?  What is the secret relationship between Conrad and his mute employee?  Gough is terrific as a mad fiend.  He socializes with his cats in his study while playing his pipe organ.  Realizing that the modernization of L.A. does not have room for a family owned zoo, Conrad starts coming apart.  Unfortunately for some of the citizens, he uses a very unique weapon (his animals) to strike out.  See "Black Zoo."  This is an effective horror film which avoids painting the animals as monsters, instead focuses on an abusive handler.  

Kiss of the Damned, Sophisticated Vampires

Everything about 2012's "Kiss of the Damned" exudes Euro-horror.  Stylish, elitist, classical music, sipping expensive wine instead of Pabst Blue Ribbon, accents, manners, and tasteful lingerie indicate this movie has an air of sophistication about it.  Filmed in New York, writer and director Xan Cassavetes does a masterful job keeping her film relevant to the widest range of viewers.  In addition to very attractive characters, she even throws in a scene where Elvis Presley's real life granddaughter (Riley Keough) is drained of blood by by the most sophisticated of bloodsuckers.

As our story begins, Djuna (Josephine de la Baume) lives alone in a Long Island mansion.  She translates poetry for a living, and watches VHS tapes of old love stories.  She is a vampire, and for the most part stays away from humans.  Her life gets complicated when she meets Paolo (Milo Ventimiglia) while returning tapes to the video store.  They fall in love, and he ends up back at her mansion.  She confesses her vampirism to him and tells him they could never be together.  At first she told him she had a rare skin condition and could not go out in daylight...which guy has not heard that line before?  She proves it to him by having him chain her to the bed while she grows her teeth (see above picture).  This turns him on, and he allows her to change him into a vampire so they can be with each other forever.  The transition is smooth as Djuna creates a home office for Paolo (a semi-successful screenwriter) in the mansion.  The two sip wine or blood together, have a lot of sex, and do all sorts of sophisticated things together.  Uh oh.....a surprise visitor.  Mimi (Roxanne Mesquida) arrives and announces she is staying a week.  Also a vampire, hardly sophisticated, Mimi is on her way to Phoenix to go to a vampire rehab because her thirst for blood has gotten too severe.  After all, the first step to wellness is admitting you have a problem, for this we need to applaud Mimi.

Mimi and Djuna do not get along.  Mimi is a semi-Goth who is into partying and threesomes, and biting any guy who comes onto her.  Her free will alarms Djuna as she believes Mimi's behavior will bring undue attention to the secret vampire community.  As impulsive as Mimi is, she might be the smartest bloodsucker this side of the sod.  She continues partying, and brings some of her victims back to the mansion for orgies before eating them.  She even is able to seduce Paolo in the shower.  The queen of the vampires is even victimized by Mimi.  Xenia (Anna Mouglalis) , an actress, is determined to send Mimi to Phoenix, but Mimi wants the beautiful life in New York City.  Taking advantage of every vampire's hunger, Mimi strategically places Elvis Presley's granddaughter in Xenia's apartment at feeding time, and Xenia can't resist. (see picture below).  To cover up this embarrassing lack of judgment, Xenia enlists Mimi's help.  As Djuna and Paolo go to elite vampire parties and discuss human-vampire relations, Mimi plots.  

For us the viewer, even though Mimi is the villain, we kind of cheer for her.  Djuna, Paolo, and Xenia would have nothing to do with us.....but Mimi?  Mimi seems like the sort who would have a Moosehead or Blue Moon with us...and then drink our blood.  What is Mimi's overall plan?  Will Djuna and Paolo ever loosen up?  As the final 30 minutes hit, subtle twists occur which cast doubt on the sophistication and refinement of Djuna.  Is Mimi really the evil one?  The ending is unusual but satisfying.  The acting is terrific and the musical score is truly outstanding.  Xan Cassavetes writing and directing is magnificent.  See "Kiss of the Damned" and feel free to have Heineken or Hoegaarden with it to enhance the European flavor of this work.    

Naked Weapon, Maggie Q Sultry Assassin

From Hong Kong, today's movie is 2002's "Naked Weapon."  Filled with beautiful assassins, explosions, martial arts, gun fights, international intrigue, and seductions, this film delivers on so many fronts.  Maggy Q ("Priest" and "Nikita") delivers a terrific performance as a sexy assassin trained to kill using sex appeal.  Fast paced throughout, "Naked Weapon" never goes ten seconds without a fight, a killing, a seduction, or an explosion.  Madam M (Almen Wong) sums up the strategy of her assassins with this, "Your body no longer belongs to you...it is your greatest weapon.  You must be willing to please a man no matter how vile...because a man's happiest moment is also his weakest."

 As our story begins a very sultry Asian assassin (Marit Thoresen) posing as a prostitute gains entry into a penthouse hotel suite (see above photo) in Rome.  After she is searched, and no weapons are found, she takes out a gangster and about a dozen of his security detail.  As she flees the scene, a surviving henchman takes her out with a bazooka.  What a beginning!  With her assassin blown up, Madam M kidnaps 40 teen-aged girls, brings them to her island.  When little girls suggest they want their mommies, they are machine gunned in front of their horrified peers.  Over the next six years, the girls are trained in firearms, martial arts, posture and cat walking, cosmetology, killing with bare hands, and wine tasting (see below photo).  As their six year training ends, Madame X gives these darlings, now young women, their first assignment....kill the girl next to you.  They do, and 40 students instantly become 20.  Then the final assignment, a cage fighting tournament with machetes, where only one will survive.  The humanitarian that Madame M is, she relents and allows three to survive.  The three survivors are Charlene (Maggy Q), Katt (Anya), and Jing (Jewel Lee).  At a celebration dinner, the three women, in evening gowns are drugged by Madame M and then are gang raped by their instructors.  This is where Madame M utters the quote in the above paragraph.

  The three are then sent on jobs, and Charlene finds herself in Spain to eliminate a Russian mobster.  She gains entry impersonating a prostitute and uses a combination of a Flamenco and a pole dance to bring down his guard.  She kills him and several of his guards, but is almost killed in the getaway.  Fortunately, her pal, Katt is nearby, and saves her.  Unbeknownst to her, CIA agent Jack Chen (Daniel Wu) is on her tail.  Chen follows Charlene to Hong Kong and makes contact with her mom, who has not seen her daughter in over six years.  Both Chen and her mom witness Charlene's next hit and begin pursuing her.  As Chen chases her and meets her, the two become sweet on each other.  As Charlene is giving the opportunity to free herself from Madam M's service, she agrees to do one more hit.  Unfortunately for Charlene and Katt (see below photo), they are headed into a deadly trap by someone who wants them to meet torturous deaths.

As Charlene desires to return to her mother and romance Chen, Katt also desires a virtuous future.  Of course, this won't be easy for the two friends as a creepy villain has bloody plans for them.  Will Charlene earn her freedom and marry Chen, a government employee with good health insurance?  Does Madam M really intend to let her and Katt out of their obligations?  Maggy Q and Anya are very attractive and captivate us B Movie fans.  Bred as villains, our two protagonists convert into noble figures eschewing evil.  "Naked Weapon" is exciting, titillating, and violent.  Great martial arts scenes with enough chases and gunfights to keep us drooling, this is a must see!  

The Dark, Wonder Woman and Casey Kasem

Before Lynda Carter was Wonder Woman, Cathy Lee Crosby performed as this superhero.  As the TV movie became a TV show, Carter took over, leaving Crosby looking for other work...which she found.  In addition to being with Joe Theismann for seven years, she did a lot of TV shows. Before Theismann (former Redskin quarterback) ruined her financially, she starred in a quirky 1979 horror yarn called "The Dark." This film features William Devane as a sad horror writer, Richard Jaeckel as a LAPD detective, Casey Kasem as a grouchy pathologist, and it was produced by Dick Clark.  Directed by John "Bud" Cardos ("Kingdom of the Spiders") and a non-credited Tobe Hooper ("Texas Chainsaw Massacre"), "The Dark" is an effective B Movie which conjures up great images of the 1970s.

As our tale begins, a clean-cut, but cute, young lady is torn to shreds by an alien while strolling home from a late night movie.  The girl was the daughter of horror writer Steve Dupree (Devane).  Detective Mooney (Jaeckel) is on the case.  Coincidentally, he put Dupree away for three years after Dupree killed a man he found in bed with his wife.  Dupree wants to track down the killer and has no faith in Mooney's ability. Meanwhile, Zoe Owens (Crosby) is a TV news reporter who is sick of covering swimsuit shoots.  She nags at her producer, Sherm (Keenan Wynn), to allow her to cover this killing.  Sherm reminds Owens (the former Miss Pasadena Rose Garden) that the only reason she has viewers is that men are trying to figure out how to get into her pants.  Alas, the sexual harassment laws were not as strict in the 1970s.  The only lead in the case is a psychic named DeRenzy who claims to know the killer's (now nicknamed The Mangler) next victim.  The Mangler then decapitates a warehouse worker, a pretty stewardess, and a bar-hopping schmuck.  The alien is also equipped with eyes that shoot deadly laser beams, as our unfortunate stewardess discovered the hard way.

   The only leads to the killer's identity came from a grouchy coroner (Kasem).  He informs Mooney that the suspect has gray skin and has no blood (a zombie).  This hits the press and the city panics.  Zoe and Dupree meet and do not hit it off well, as the pretty reporterette blows him off.  No matter, their second meeting results in wine, soft jazz, kissing and intimacy.  Together they find the young actor who DeRenzy claims is the next victim, and follow him believing he will lead them to The Mangler.  Detective Mooney is following Dupree, so there is a venerable caravan heading to an exciting final confrontation at an abandoned L.A. monastery.

Will the very stylish and pretty Zoe Owens win an Emmy for her reporting on The Mangler?  Will she do it alive or posthumously?  Who will now cover swimsuit shoots now that Owens is otherwise assigned?  The movie has some interesting devices.   For example, when The Mangler is near, strange whispering is used as background noise.  This whispering seems to utter a Latin phrase and then the word "Daaaaaaaarkness." Crosby is beautiful, and her stylish wardrobes are very pleasing to the eye. "The Dark" never succeeded at the box office and to this day most horror aficionados have not seen it.  Good acting, menacing kills, a cool alien, and lots of great 1970s memories make "The Dark" a must see to all you B Movie fans.