Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Creepazoids, Linnea Quigley vs. Big Beetle Monster

Oh yes...another apocalyptic wasteland film! This time we have Linnea Quigley in one of her best performances battling a huge beetle/man creature...oh yes, with her four friends. Set in 1998, this film boasts of a great title and one of the greatest posters of any film in history. Released in 1987, Ms. Quigley gives a stellar performance giving schlock late-night cable TV viewers gratuitous satisfaction. "Creepazoids" is a B grade film with an A grade heart and an aim to please viewers like us.
Nuclear war has destroyed mankind...or is on the verge of doing so. The war is now futile and major cities are reduced to apocalyptic wastelands, largely uninhabitable. The rain is pure acid rain, able to melt human flesh in a few seconds. Five deserters from the war prowl the ruins in southern California, but when a rain storm approaches they need to duck into the first open door they come to. Uh oh, it is a military genetics lab, or at least it was before the war and whatever was created in it...still prowls. Immediately Blanca (Quigley) finds a shower and gives us a gratuitous shower scene...for you gals, Butch (Ken Abraham) joins in for some gratuitous pre-marital shower sex.
Okay, back to the story, the creature finds computer guy Jesse (Michael Aranda) and does something to him which causes him to mutate and explode at the dinner table. Now there are four survivors.  Jake (Richard L. Hawkins) leads the deserters and he's pretty dumb. Most of his decisions get someone killed. Soon, large mutant rats will join our beetle-monster in hunting the deserters. Now the gang's other babe Kate (Ashlyn Gere) discovers that the creature used to be human before the military scientists started experimenting on it. Now the beetle-monster hunts and may have a more complex plan for the two babes and two hunks remaining.
Do our deserters have a shot against this military engineered mutant? Does Blanca's proclivity for gratuitous showers and pre-marital sex indicate the creature may have more extensive plans for her? Will Kate and Blanca engage in a cat-fight? (Spoiler alert....Yes!). This is a fun one and while millions are lured to the embarrassingly pathetic "Captain Marvel" film, watch a film that you will actually enjoy...."Creepazoids" (directed by David DeCoteau).


  1. I'm all about the gratuitous showers and roaming the ruins of Los Angeles. Keep keep me posted and Count Me In

  2. agreed, wonderful poster,a horny rat,and that spoiler,too good not to watch, and the rat,the dirty perverted rat out to collect sexy babes for it's den, I'm in!!