Sunday, August 30, 2020

Blood Ties, Vampires in Long Beach

Vampires assimilated in southern California...what would that look like? Answer: A lot like what it already looks like. More motorcycle gangs...greedy developers...obnoxious media...and a sultry but toothy babe or two. In a world where reasons are aplenty to separate from other groups, vampires and humans are no exception. Today we take a look at straight-to-video "Blood Ties," from 1991.
A clan of vampire hunters headed by Bo Hopkins raid a Texas farmhouse killing a mom and dad vampire. Big mistake...they allow the teenage son, Cody (Jason London) to escape. Now in Long Beach, a clan of bloodsuckers lives in secret, mixed into the Long Beach community. Ace reporter Harry (Harley Venton), a vampire, romances and will have much passionate sex with assistant D.A. Amy (Kim Johnson Ulrich). She'll go through this film in states of undress...and clueless she's dating a vampire. Cody makes it to Long Beach and is taken in by the vampire clan headed by Eli (Patrick Bauchau). Cody and the clan want revenge on Bo Hopkins and his hunters. Harry just wants to get a long...right!
Bo Hopkins and crew arrive in Long Beach as Harry and Amy get pretty steamy. Oh yeah...Celia (Michelle Johnson)! A babe vampire. She will have some steamy vampire sex with Harry and almost get in a cat-fight with Amy at a lingerie shop. Yes! As Harry pleads for the clan to give up vengeance and revenge and set an example, Bo Hopkins and crew sharpen their stakes. Meanwhile, Cody joins a vampire motorcycle gang with hopes of warring against the hunters that killed his parents. Harry is torn between toothy and steamy sex with Celia and deviant, but less bloody, pre-marital sex with Amy. Uh oh...Bo Hopkins has a plan to draw the vampires into an ambush.
Will Harry ultimately choose the  ravishing Amy, or the sultry Celia? Will Celia and Amy ever engage in a steamy cat-fight? Can Bo Hopkins rid Long Beach of the infernal toothy creatures, or will Harry succeed at his plan for detente? The acting is terrific and Ms. Johnson and Ms. Ulrich are most alluring. For a rather tame but alluring vampire flick, enjoy "Blood Ties," directed by Jim McBride.

Friday, August 28, 2020

Demonic Toys, When Fisher Price Attacks

What a match up...Full Moon Entertainment and the sultriest actress of her time, Tracy Scoggins. 1992's "Demonic Toys" is a horrific story in which Ms. Scoggins, the tall green-eyed beauty, delivers one of the best performances in horror film history. There will be gore, gunfights, and heartbreaking plot lines...and Ms. Scoggins will sweat a lot and look really good, even as she will be put in much peril. Directed by Peter Manoogian, this film will demonstrate how a sultry actress masters a role containing excruciating torment.
Judith (Scoggins) and Matt (Jeff Celentano) are two cops undercover, on a bust. Judith has just found out she is pregnant by Matt. Uh oh, the bad guys show up and a gunfight ensues...Matt is murdered. Grief stricken Judy chases the two fiends. She'll capture Lincoln (Michael Russo), and the other bloke, Hesse (Barry Lynch), will be torn apart by the titled demonic toys. Hesse's blood brings the dolls, jack-in-the-boxes, robots, and teddy bears to life. Now they all sport fangs and weapons. As Judith captures Lincoln, the two get locked in a storeroom. Hope for salvation might hinge on the underachieving Mark (Bentley Mitchum) who delivers chicken dinner to a lazy security guard. Finally, after being locked in the storeroom, Judith gets the attention of Mark and the security guard, and more fun ensues.
The toys amass and attack. They will rip apart the security guard. Uh oh...the toys want Judith's unborn baby. The toys are commanded by an ethereal demon who wants to be born to a real body. It's desire is to capture Judith, spread her on a pentagram, and enter her womb to possess the baby. Judith isn't keen on this idea and mounts a defense...then offense. Mark will try to help but the others will meet tortuous and gruesome demises. The demon is cruel and it's torment of Judith will be excruciating and pure evil. As Judith deals with the murder of her lover earlier in the evening, and the prospect of her baby becoming a satanic demon, help may be on the way in the form of...well, you'll see.
The story is horrific and Ms. Scoggins is sultry, tough, and quite the beset damsel. Will Judith prevail or will she give birth to another Damian? Just how does the demon plan to implant himself into Judith's womb? Okay, dumb question. The premise of this film is extreme in its evil and many may say taboo for the silver screen. Still, "Demonic Toys" may be one of the ten best horror films of the 20th century, made with a fraction of the budget as "The Omen." For some nightmarish scares, and a very alluring performance, see "Demonic Toys."

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

City of the Living Dead, Internal Organs, Worms, and Maggots, Oh My!

Best Lucio Fulci films? For me, 1980's "City of the Living Dead" and 1979's "Zombie," with many a close third. Extreme and elongated gore coupled with beautiful Italian babes dying so horribly seems to add a bit of spice to Giallo. True, Giallo is a sub-genre that may not need spice, but the added gratuity is appreciated and looked upon fondly. Yep, today we look at "City of the Dead," where an Italian babe will vomit out her internal organs, and many more will have their brains pulled out from the back of their skull. In this H.P. Lovecraft-type story, Lucio Fulci has written a love letter to his fans.
A weird priest hangs himself in a cemetery in Dunwich (think Salem). This sets forth an evil chain of events where the gates of Hell will be opened and the dead will no longer find rest (think zombie infestation). This evil will culminate on All Saints Day, a few days away, and the chain of events begins. Babe Mary (Catriona MacColl) dies at a seance in which she sees the priest's suicide. She won't stay dead as she awakes in her coffin as it is being buried. Peter (Christopher George), a reporter saves her. Then an Italian, seeking pre-marital sex with her boyfriend, will have worms and slime smeared all over her pretty face by a zombie...and die. More gruesome deaths occur, including a sultry babe vomiting out her internal organs as her boyfriend has his brains pulled out.
Okay, Mary and Peter figure out what is going on. We've all seen it before (The Carter Administration), when the gates of Hell are opened. Solution...the duo need to find Dunwich and the corpse of the evil priest. Joining them is the sultry Sandra (Janet Agren), a whack ball, and her shrink Gerry (Carlo De Mejo)...a hunk. Maggot storms won't stop them, and either will more of the living dead...actually the sultry Sandra will have a most gruesome demise at the hands of the formerly sultry Emily (Antonella Interlenghi). No one will miss the whack ball  Sandra as Mary is more sultry and still alive. The quartet, or trio now, arrives in Dunwich with a horrific plan that may just take them to the gates of Hell...and hopefully back.
Does the appetite for sultry Italian babes speak to the human qualities of the undead in Fulci films? Will Mary get a chance to die a second time, and if so, will she cease being sultry? Are maggots, worms, and internal organs plot devices that could spice up the boring cinema of the 21st century? Gore and babes dying horribly! Who wants to see that? I know...stupid question. Answer Lucio Fulci's love letter by watching "City of the Living Dead," and perhaps do it as a double feature with "Zombie."

Monday, August 24, 2020

Meatball Machine, Slimy Parasites Having Fun

Japan! The land that brought us tentacle rape as a fetish and an important plot device. Yep, why not? H.P. Lovecraft would be proud. The utter and excruciating invasion of a beautiful Japanese woman in this film will make you wince...and depending on your wiring...will either disgust you or have you begging for more. The gore will be extreme and the story will be right out of a comic book...nevertheless, 2005's "Meatball Machine" (directed by (Yudai Yamaguchi and Junichi Yamamoto) will inspire.
Necroborgs are human vessels containing an alien (or deep water) parasite. After infesting the host they turn it into a killing machine seeking other necroborgs to fight. It's a game...these aliens seek to kill other parasite controlled necroborgs for sport. As our film begins necroborgs take over a businessman, then a small boy. The things attach to the host, sprout a zillion tentacles, drill into the human orifices (including the eyes) and fit the host with alien weapons (power-saws, drills, flamethrowers, etc). Two lovers to be will have a sweet scene in which they appear ready for pre-marital sex. Uh oh, Yoji (Issey Takahashi) is a metalworker who brought the shell of an alien home to experiment with. As Yoji bends over to kiss the sweet Sochiko (Aoba Kawai), the dormant shell re-animates and springs to action.
Suchiko is then invaded. A myriad of tentacles wrap around her, pull her legs apart and invade her. Alien rape at its most horrifying. The alien parasite is implanted, her eyes are drilled out, and the former Sochiko is ready for battle. Two weird Japanese beings save Yoji. Uh oh...they feed him to one of these parasites. This duo breed the things. Now Yoji still in love with Sochiko is on a quest to find her and save her. See, Yoji has more of his humanity remaining and knows Sochiko will still love him. Sochiko is quite the battle-machine and attacks more Japanese. Cute little Japanese children will die horribly at the hands of the necroborgs. As the tentacled necroborgs turn other Japanese into them, Yoji continues his quest to reunite with his love. Yep, he'll find her...but romance will be replaced with a gory and carnage-filled war.
Is the creation of the tentacle rape fetish a misogynistic device thought up by Japanese men as a reaction to the feminine attempt to land equal influence in the Land of the Rising Sun? Will Yoji and Suchiko engage in a battle to the death, or enjoy necroborg sex...or both? Will true love conquer a slimy parasite desire for war and carnage? Important questions, I know, but you will be alarmed at how much you enjoy "Meatball Machine," sexual invasion scene and all.

Saturday, August 22, 2020

The Disembodied, Eye Rape

After the 20th century concluded, America needed something...but no one quite knew what. Then in 2011, a film appeared...and we all had the answer. Not unity, not a sense of justice, not a more broad sense of community...nope...America lusted for a creature with a probing tentacle that could possess large breasted women to have passionate lesbian sex with each other before the probing tentacle would rape them and impregnate them. Today we look at, from Full Moon Features, a Charles Band film, 2011's "The Disembodied."
Blonde babe Jenna (Erica Rhodes) invites three buddies over to help her decorate the house for Halloween. On cue Kiana (Lauren Furs) arrives in a schoolgirl outfit, Rocky (Chelsea Edmundson), and lesbian babe Catalina (Adriana Madix) arrive. They'll drink, smoke pot, dance around in their undies and Cat will try to get all the babes to have sex with her. A gratuitous shower scene will be thrown in. Jenna tries, not too hard, to get her buddies to focus on decorating the house. Uh oh, a crystal ball is activated, a demonic TV is turned on to a video of "The Killer Eye," and a giant eye creature with a probing tentacle is set loose on the babes.
The eye creature possesses them and Jenna finds herself having lesbian sex with Catalina. Rocky and Kiana will be possessed to arouse themselves. Then the eye turns mean. It aims to rape the babes and impregnate them. In the midst of the carnage, Giselle (Olivia Alexander) arrives and a possessed Rocky will try to fondle and rape her. Jenna snaps out of her trance and realizes the peril the aroused ladies are in. Now Jenna has a plan to combat the lust-filled eye, but are any of the other babes in any condition to mount an offensive?
The gals are all sultry and they will all have gratuitous nude scenes. The probing tentacle will see much action and in a prurient sense...this will be a wild ride. Will the monster eye succeed in impregnating any of the babes? Just what is Jenna's plan to combat the thing and will any of her girlfriends be eager to stop it? Is this monster eye a thinly veiled metaphor of Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood elite, and their quest to rape nubile actresses? Trashy and in vulgar taste, as is the society in which we live, "The Disembodied" will arouse and may be seen as a secret fantasy to many viewers,

Thursday, August 20, 2020

The Killer Eye, Tentacle Rape from Another Dimension

It may sound awful...but the ladies who underwent the tentacle rape in this film...enjoyed it. This begs a Full Moon Features making an exploitation/misogynistic horror film, or are they tapping in a fantasy polite women don't talk about? Today we look at David DeCoteau's "The Killer Eye," from 1999. Warning...the tentacle sex scenes are gratuitous and elongated.
Mad scientist Jordan (Jonathan Norman) has tapped into the Eighth Dimension...and something came through his invention. Jordan is married to Rita (Jacqueline Lovell). Rita wants more orgasms and Jordan wants to bond with that dimension. Whatever came through the invention is now crawling around and has grown to 10 feet tall. It is an eyeball with a tentacle and the power to put babes in a trance and satisfy them for long periods of time. Rita heads to her neighbors, Tom (Dave Oren Ward) and Joe (Roland Martinez). They have a threesome until eye monster shows up. The creature, while the three sleep, rapes (or pleasures) Rita in a very long scene. The creature then finds Jane (Nanette Bianchi) in another apartment. Jane gives us a gratuitous shower scene and the tentacled creature joins her and endlessly satisfies her.
Now Jordan and his assistant, Morton (Costas Koromilas)...who is Jane's husband, figure out that a creature is on the loose. Eventually Rita and Jane figure this out but not before being further gratified by the slimy tentacle. The humans try to figure out a way to trap it and send it back to the Eighth Dimension. The thing is smart and has the ability to put people in a trances and arouse babes. Jane and Rita are marked for sexual conquest by the creature while the men risk having their brain matter sucked out by it. Nudity and orgasmic sex scenes permeate the entire film as the creature seems bent on procreating.
Will Jane and/or Rita be impregnated by the eye creature? Will they mind? Can Jordan and his band protect man's role on the planet Earth by destroying the invader? Ms. Lovell and Miss Bianchi will deliver orgasmic performances as they will spend much of this film in orgasm. For a tickling of your prurient fantasies and interests, see "The Killer Eye."

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Slime City Massacre, The Ooze Rises Up

The transition of Debbie Rochon's character from babe survivor, to babe puddle in a tub, to babe with a you'll see...may be a shocking horror plot device or perhaps a pertinent metaphor to the changing American culture. Perhaps this is too deep an analysis of 2010's "Slime City Massacre,"  but the permeating ooze and explosive sexual desire will not disappoint. Okay a machine gun massacre and a gratuitous anthem extolling the struggle of common folks against the one-percenters will surely please, as well. So if you like melting characters and hunks and babes turning to nymphomaniacs, this is your film.
Decades ago, streetwalker Nicole (Brooke Lewis Bellas) happens across a soup kitchen run by cult leader, Zachary (Craig Sabin). Craig invites her in and seduces her into the love cult which will reach into present day (you'll see). Present day, a dirty bomb explodes melting Lloyd Kaufman and most people. A few years later Alexa (Jennifer Bihl) and Cory (Kealan Patrick Burke) scavenge the ruins. They find a temporary home in a burnt out warehouse building. There they meet the hunk Mason (Lee Perkins) and babe Alice (Rochon). The four team up and continue scavenging. They are now part of a loosely connected band of survivors that feeds off anything they can find. Cory and Mason find Zachary's old soup kitchen and find a lot of what appears to be wine and Himalayan yogurt.
Now the four feed heartily on their new find. Avoiding roving bands of cannibals and a corrupt apocalyptic hierarchy, the quartet undergoes a metamorphosis.  They begin oozing slime and desire a lot of passionate sex (probably pre-marital). They also find the need to feed off the living. Alice gets it worse as her descent into slime creature accelerates and her fate will shock you. Uh oh, evil one-percenter real estate developers send machine-gun thugs to rid the city block of survivors. The massacre will be bloody but now Zachary's brew and yogurt have been ingested by many. A war will rage between evil real estate developers and slime-zombies...true poetry.
Are the melting masses of the apocalyptic wasteland a thinly veiled metaphor for the plight of the 99 percenters in their struggle against the elite power structure that truly run the planet? Will the increasingly liquefying protagonists remain solid enough to prevail over societal inequality? In some weird fetish world, is skin changing into green goopy slime a sexual turn-on? Directed by Gregory Lamberson, "Slime City Massacre" is an extraordinary B movie. For some wonderful gore, allure, and of course the sultry Brooke Lewis Bellas and Debbie Rochon, see "Slime City Massacre." 

Sunday, August 16, 2020

Blood Ransom, Neo Noir Vampire Saga

It's dark, gritty, and moody. Classic Film Noir. Actually, 2014's "Blood Ransom" is a vampire tale featuring a sultry bloodsucker. No humor. No irreverence. No cheer. Just gore, allure, and blood...a lot of blood. Amidst the slashings and toothy feedings, one may believe one is watching a Joel and Ethan Coen film, just from the setting. The plot will be complicated and multi-faceted, but to fans of this blog...we have a sultry vampire and a lot of flowing red blood. Directed by Francis dela Torre, "Blood Ransom" will demand a scorecard to keep up with all the players.
Chrystal (Anne Curtis), former exotic dancer, is on the run. She has been turned into a vampire by Roman (Samuel Hunt). Now Roman wants her back and charges Bill (Jamie Harris) to kidnap her. Don't ask why, Bill hires Jeremiah (Alexander Dreymon) to do the kidnapping. Mistake! Of course, Jeremiah falls in love with her. She falls in love with Jeremaiah. Now for the bad news...Chrystal is changing. She's becoming more and more monster everyday...and less and less human. She craves blood and knows she will soon not be able to stave off the temptation of attacking Jeremiah's jugular veins.
Now Chrystal and Jeremiah are on the run. Bill and Roman are hot on their trail. Massacres and assorted other bloody killings abound as the creatures of the night need nourishment. Our two lovebirds will engage in pre-marital sex which will nearly cost Jeremiah his life. Uh oh...there might be a way to cure Chrystal of her vampirism. The bad news, the plan has a lot of moving parts and she is losing her humanity too quickly. Uh oh again...subplots, which will be thrown at you at a rapid rate, indicate Jeremiah and his toothy lover can not and should not'll see. As Chrystal teeters back and forth from sultry vampire vixen to horrific monster, Jeremiah prepares himself for the ultimate sacrifice of love.
Can Jeremiah and Chrystal find true love as either vampire or human? Will Roman and Bill allow the two seemingly doomed lovers to find that happiness? Is Chrystal's transition from exotic dancer babe to toothy bloodsucking monster a metaphor for young women who try to make it big in Hollywood...or a metaphor for a divorced man regarding his ex-wife? Enjoy the gore and allure and don't worry about the deep directions the plot'll get it. For a bloody and erotic vampire tale, see "Blood Ransom."

Friday, August 14, 2020

Torso, The Women of Giallo Die so Nicely

Ah yes...the women of Giallo! They are sultry and at times too devious for their own good. Their scheming, though justified, ends up with them getting slashed or cut to pieces. Often nude and always seductive, these vixens have sordid backstories. When not nude, black leather boots, shiny lingerie, and cleavage flattening blouses rule the day. Their demises are so sad...alas, the beautiful seem to always die so horribly. So how about a Giallo film where the babes are just plain stupid and good only for nudity, lesbian love scenes, heterosexual love scenes, and getting evidence of intellectual ability? Hence the 1973 Sergio Martino film, "Torso." Good carnal sex and gore with women as mere objects...there is something so right about that.
Jane (Suzy Kendall) is a sultry American art student in Rome. She has sultry Italian girl friends and all of them engage in a lot of heterosexual and lesbian pre-maritasl sex. They dress in either nothing, mini-skirts, or lingerie and quickly begin getting murdered. Flo (Patrizia Adiutori) will be strangled, and slashed after having sex with her boyfriend...he'll be slashed, too. Carol (Conchita Airoldi) will get it after a failed threesome when the killer follows her into a swamp. The babes keep dying and Jane hasn't a clue and keeps doing stupid things and seems in denial that a strangler is offing Italian babes. Her best friend, Daniela (Tina Aumont) fears an ex-boyfriend, Stefano (Roberto Bisacco) is the killer, convinces Jane and other babes to spend some time at her perverted uncle's villa in the country.
The babes go to the villa for some skinny-dipping, lesbian sex, and nude sunbathing. The killer follows and more sultry Italians will die horribly. The clueless Jane will eventually find some gory corpses and finally realize her life may be in danger. Nevertheless, the negligee clad damsel will enter a deadly cat and mouse game with a killer bent on strangulation and slashing the private parts of formerly warm-blooded damsels. It is now apparent that the killer knows these gals it a former boyfriend or perhaps a demented jilted lesbian lover?
Does Jill have any shot at surviving this massacre of Italian babes? If she does survive and earn an art degree from this Italian university, will she return to the U.S. and get a job as a waitress at Applebee's or Hooters? Is the misogynistic nature of these Giallo films a rationale outgrowth of the exploitative nature of the so-called women's lib movement of the 1960s and 1970s? Gratuitous and misogynistic to the nth degree, "Torso" is a Giallo film that has earned affection and praise for some very uncomfortable reasons. 

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Spellcaster, Rock and Roll and the Devil

No surprise here...Rock and Roll is satanic. Yep, this evil music may cause people to smoke marijuana and engage in pre-marital sex. No surprise either that when RockTV (think MTV) throws a contest, the winners go to the devil's castle. Today we look at 1988's "Spellcaster," which features Adam Ant and a bunch of babes and hunks...and monsters. Directed by Rafal Zielinski.
Seven contestants win RockTV's contest and will be flown to Italy to compete in the castle of some guy named Diablo (Adam Ant). Once in the castle, the contestants will go on a treasure hunt for a milliondollars. The host, Rex (Richard Blade) has rock star Cassandra (Bunty Bailey) co-hosting the contest. Cassandra is drunk and arrogant. The only sympathetic figures are a brother/sister team from Ohio, Jackie (Gail O'Grady) and Tom (Harold Pruett). Also along are the aerobics babe Teri (Kim Johnston Ulrich) who is a sexual tease, and Myrna (Martha Demson), an aristocratic hunter. Oh yeah, the French babe Yvette (Traci Lind) will be the first to go when she is eaten by a vampire chair while in some attractive shiny lingerie.
The contest starts and Cassandra is too drunk to do anything but bribe Rex for more booze and drugs by trying to seduce him. Teri will spend more time dragging guys into the shower and teasing them than looking for money. Yvette's death will occur after some pre-marital sex with Rex. Uh oh...Cassandra and Rex seemed to have made a deal for the money. Even worse, some mysterious guy, Diablo, is watching and controlling the events. He'll make will eat one of the aforementioned babes, and send slimy demon monsters to attack. As Tom and Jackie seem to avoid the evils of Diablo, the other contestants fall horribly. Uh oh again, Cassandra seduces Tom...does this mean Tom is doomed?
As the hunks and babes fall in bloody carnage, why does Jackie seem like the 'final girl'? Does Diablo have special carnal plans for the clean cut Jackie? Is the pre-marital sex that goes on at this castle good enough to die for? This is a great looking cast and the babe characters ae indeed true babes, whether in lingerie, naked, or in the throes of pre-marital sex. The creature effects are nice and the ending might surprise many. For some good 1980s horror fun, see "Spellcaster."

Monday, August 10, 2020

Red Nights, Femme Fatales Behaving Badly

A sultry French assassin...A sultry Chinese torture/erotica vixen...a sultry French art thief...a sultry Chinese art thief...and the brute men who want them dead...what a formula. Forget about the men, with these many femme fatales in one film, odds are they will kill each other off. Oh yeah...add in a mysterious poison that can heighten an orgasm 100 times and we have 2010's "Red Nights," directed by Julien Carbon and Laurent Courtiaud.
As our story begins, Chinese beauty Tulip (Kotone Amimiya) arrives in Shanghai to meet the sultry Carrie (Carrie Ng). Tulip pays her a valuable jewel and in return, Carrie brings her to a torture/erotica chamber where Tulip will undergo a suffocation/erotica experience. Tulip gets off on it and asks for more...bad move. Carrie complies but this time, guts Tulip during the next orgasm. Enter French assassin babe Catherine (Frederique Bel). She murders her arms dealing partner and takes command of an arms deal. She steals an antique box and tries to sell it in Shanghai. Enter Sandrine (Carole Brann), a French babe in Hong Kong. She'll double cross Catherine and have another Chinese babe, Flora (Maria Chen) shoot and kill Catherine.
Uh oh...Carrie wants the antique box and brutally murders Flora to get it. Uh oh again, Catherine survives her own murder and wants revenge. Now the French assassin hunts Carrie and Sandrine. Uh oh again, Carrie hunts Catherine and Sandrine. You see, in the antique box is a first century poison which heightens orgasms, increases pains and paralyses. Now Carrie has the poison and she will use it on Sandrine in an elongated and ornate torture scene steeped with sexual arousal and pain. As Catherine and Carrie continue their war, the two beauties seem destined for something awful...if not alluring.  A word of warning, Sandrine's orgasmic fate will have you turning your head.
Just what does Carrie want with this orgasmic poison? Do any of these lovely femme fatales have even the remotest shot at surviving this film? Does the moral bankruptcy of the Chinese and French vixens indicate that Europe's influence in the molding of modern day China will only serve the ruination of any Asia claim to dominance? Okay, throw out that last question. Alluring, bloody, and highly sadomasochistic...yet, most enjoyable. For a weird and satisfying thriller, see "Red Nights."

Saturday, August 8, 2020

Bloody Moon, Nubile Babes Naked and Bloody

The Oxford English Dictionary defines 'Euro-Trash' as a European film style in which nubile and naked babes hop around and are slashed while in the throes of pre-marital sex or other naughty endeavors. This very scientific definition may present an over generalized picture of true 'Euro-Trash,' however, 1981's Jesus Franco film from Spain, "Bloody Moon," fits it well.
The grotesquely disfigured Miguel (Alexander Waechter) stabs a nude and nubile babe to death as he tries to rape her. This gets him five years in an insane asylum. After that, his sultry sister Manuela (Nadja Gerganoff) claims him and will be his guardian. Miguel and Manuela love each other fact the brother and sister love each other more than any brother and sister should. Manuela brings Miguel back to the women's language school, which she is an administrator.. It is also the scene of the murder. There, every language student is a sultry Euro-babe, just bursting at the seems to rip off their clothes and engage in pre-marital sex.
Also arriving is Angela (Olivia Pascal), a real Euro-doll. Every potential rapist and killer drool over her. One by one, her sultry friends are killed in acts of pre-marital sex and the killer let's her know she is next. No one believes Angela and the bodies of her friends never show up. Now as her bestie Inga (Jasmin Losensky) is decapitated with an industrial granite saw (and what a beautiful thing that was to behold), Angela is truly next. Decapitations, impalement, immolation,  and poisonous snakes will all beset the lovelies at the school. Suspects? Everyone...including Miguel and...yes...the over amorous Manuela.
As some uber-sultry babes die horribly in states of nudity, Angela runs a lot and screams nicely. As the killer closes in on the ravishing babe, the corpses start showing up, playing havoc with her sanity. Is Miguel the killer, or is that too easy? Since this is Euro-Trash, may the killer be a demented lesbian with a weird fetish? Is this Jesus Franco film a thinly veiled metaphor for the misogyny contained in the Brexit movement's desire to separate from the EU? Yeah...probably not. In any event, if watching lovely Euro-actresses in the nude, having pre-marital sex, and getting cut up is your thing...then enjoy "Bloody Moon."

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Attack of the Unknown, Space Vampires vs. SWAT

We're doomed. If just ten percent of this country loses internet and smart phone capability...we're gone! Can you imagine...a five trillion dollar stimulus that won't toilet fantasy football...the end of the world. Sure...50 years ago or 200 years ago, Americans could survive anything...not now. Throw in the rest of the civilized world into the'll be scary. Technology used to help us get to the moon and cure technology facilitates the ability to send porn and erotic pictures instantly overseas. If the space vampires do attack, we're doomed...or are we? Let us take a look at 2020's "Attack of the Unknown," directed by Brandon Slagle.
An LAPD SWAT team is raiding a building to capture Cartel boss Hades (Robert LaSardo). After a bloody gunfight, Commander Maddox' (Douglas Tait) team wins out and captures Hades. The FBI moves in and takes charge. This ticks off Maddox and his men. Vernon (Richard Greico), one of those men, will be diagnosed with incurable cancer. Now the team is asked to transfer Hades to another jail...and the fun begins. An alien invasion besets L.A. Huge monster aliens with tentacles strike and suck the blood out of humans. Spaceships miles in length hover over all major cities. The SWAT team's operation to transfer Hades is interrupted.
As all internet and phone service is shut down by the UFOs, and awe struck Californians are bled dry...Maddox and his men are holed up in a dilapidated jail. We should mention Hannah (Jolene Andersen), a SWAT lady...beautiful and tough. Her job is to assemble 1950s radios from parts in order to find help. The terminal Vernon isn't dead yet and his doomsday logic and back to basics mentality may just give this SWAT team a chance at survival. The monsters descend from the ships, suck humans dry, and find the old jail where our SWAT team is guarding Hades. Yep...they get in...and find a resistance that has eschewed 2020 technology that will prove to be a formidable foe. Frightening, inspiring, and heartbreaking will be this epic battle between human and monster.
Will a dying hero be the key to the furtherance of human life on this planet? Are what we believe to be our greatest technological advances merely a curse that ensures our ruination? Is being bled dry a good metaphor for where we are going as a civilization as impersonal smart technology replaces the humanity that makes us...well...human? Wonderful special and creature f/x combined with some gritty and strong characters (Mr. Greico is fantastic and so is Tara Reid in the backstory...and A+ for Ms. Andersen) make this a compelling 'end-of-the-world' epic. For a convicting tale that may make you realize the value of the humanity that is still inside all of us, see Brandon Slagle's "Attack of the Unknown." 

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Onechanbara: The Movie, Samurai Babes and Zombies

What is it about the Japanese that they go goo-goo over a sultry bikini babe with a Samurai sword dueling against another sultry Samurai babe clad in a schoolgirl outfit? Throw in thousands of zombies, a leather clad motorcycle babe with a shotgun, and a mad scientist and we have 2008's "Onechanbara: The Movie." Probably a graphic novel series or an Anime subject, this film will see a lot of feisty Asian babes in much peril as they fight a zombie outbreak.
Aya (Eri Otoguro) is the aforementioned bikini babe. Her, and her trusty sidekick Katsuji (Tomohiro Waki) scourge the post apocalyptic wasteland battling zombies. Their goal is to find mad-scientist Dr. Sugita (Taro Suwa), who's experiments began the scourge. Oh yes...Aya also seeks her evil sister, Saki (Chise Nakamura), who killed their father. While repelling a zombie horde, Aya and Katsuji are almost overtaken when the aforementioned motorcycle babe enters. Reiko (Manami Hashimoto) has her own sob story, but her shotgun saves Aya and Katsuji.
Now the trio head to Sugita's laboratory complex. The trio will be beset by more zombie hordes and the two gals will look so alluring in a bikini or leather garb as they slay thousands. The backstories of the three are told and they are grim ones. Meanwhile, Sugita continues his experiments and has made Saki into a superhuman Samurai fighter. As the trio near the evil complex, a billion (slight exaggeration) await for them to enter the building. A mad orgasm of zombie carnage, bikini gratuity, and alluring leather accompany us through their battle with a mega-zombie horde. Now Sugita has the trio just where he wanted them, but he never counted on their spunk.
Why does Dr. Sugita lay a trap for Aya, and what are his plans for her? Will Reiko, the leather clad motorcycle babe eventually branch off into her own set of graphic novels or Anime features? Is Japan's affinity for this kind of gratuitous and hyper-sexual entertainment a key to their superior least when it comes to a Japan-America comparison? Gratuitous and pleasing ...heartbreaking and bloody...for a raucus good time with a lot of allure, see "Onechanbara: The Movie."

Sunday, August 2, 2020

Cam-Girl, Exotic Performer Beset By Psycho

Ah yes...strippers! Oh, I'm sorry...I mean exotic dancers. movies they are all intelligent women victimized by a male dominated world, unable to get fair shakes. Yep, they are all trying to raise their baby daughters and the only money they can to exotic dance. Oh yes, they all aspire to go to law school, or even better, medical school. Anyone buy that? The killer in 2016's "Cam-Girl" doesn't.
Gessica (Erin Cline) fits the above description. Interestingly enough, she is hardly a sympathetic character. Her on-line channel, by subscription only, is a scam. Men see her dance and strip while having their credit card info stolen. Anyway, her ex-boyfriend Ben (Joe Coffey) is a computer whiz and desires to get back together with her. She does her performing as her baby girl sleeps in a crib in the next room. Internet subscribers can even chat with her. Oh! Did I mention a serial killer known as "The Box Cutter Killer" is striking young beauties in the area?
Then Gessica gets a chat message threatening her life. She's frightened but ultimately un-affected. Then the guy calls her on her cellphone. The call will last the remaining duration of the film as the caller is also a sniper. Anytime Gessica disobeys her order, he fires a warning shot. Now she is at his mercy. He seeks to humiliate Gessica by forcing her to call all her ex-boyfriends and confess her indiscretions to them. She tries to draw information out of him but he is pretty smart. He has also hijacked her internet and phone. He'll send Gessica a video of him slitting the throat of her former lesbian lover, Destiny (Aurelia Riley). As our killer gets more and more unhinged, it is obvious he plans to cut Gessica up into pieces unless she can outsmart him.
Just how does our killer know so much about the non-noble Gessica? What are his ultimate plans for Gessica, and does he plan to put her demise on-line? Will this film have us sympathizing with the killer as more and more of Gessica's morality flaws are revealed? The, I mean, exotic dancer community might be offended by this film...but...who cares? For a gratuitous character study, see "Cam-Girl," directed by Curt Wiser.