Friday, March 29, 2019

Clawed, The Ooze-Man Cometh

Two great actresses...Tiffany Shepis and Felissa Rose! One great scene! Picture was such a beautiful thing...two beautiful babes Sandra (Rose) and Donna (Shepis) in a car with Donna's wimp husband. Donna is yelling at both of them, but she has good reason. Donna's husband impregnated her best bud, Sandra...and now the three of them are going on a week-end excursion together. Donna continues yelling and then the car has a blow-out. Stopped on the side of the road the three fall victim to the Ooze-man. The fiend will rip all of them to pieces in gory fashion. Sadly, this trio only appears in the film for a few short minutes leaving us with gratuitous gore and cheesecake from lesser known thespians. Hence 2017's "Clawed."
Jim (Wade Sullivan), a grouchy unappealing chap has terminal cancer. He'll head to Bear Claw Mountain where the streams are said to have healing waters. We have seen others head there and get mangled...or raped by the Ooze-man. The Ooze-man emanates from toxic waste and claws the skin off, or decapitates everyone he meets...or if it feels frisky enough, rapes the babes. Also headed to the mountain is a professor (Anthony Connell) and his six students (three dweebs and three sultry babes). As Jim drinks the toxic waste he appears to get well. Meanwhile the women in this film, all absolutely beautiful, will be hunted by Ooze-man.
Make sense? Oh if any of those idiotic Avengers films make any sense! At least here the cast is attractive. The camera spends a lot of time on Amber (Elizabeth Peffley) and it is easy to understand why...the director (Steve Taylor) is a guy. Nevertheless, her eventual demise will be sad! Don't worry, the clean cut babes...wait...there are none in this film...never mind. Oh, then there is Colleen Kelly as Dark Annie, the macabre pod-caster. No more about her as that would serve as a spoiler. Cheesy effects, gratuitous gore, and gratuitous shots of female cast members enhance this Grade C film.
Will any of the women survive the Ooze-man? Could a 90 minute film be made centering on that aforementioned scene when Tiffany Shepis desires to scratch out Felissa Rose's eyeballs? How about the mysterious Dark Annie, exactly what does she have in store for this plot other than a really pretty face? "Clawed" may lack in certain areas, but every actress in this film is more appealing and talented than Scarlett Johansson.


  1. Wow what a awesome review need to watch this right now.

  2. You have a talent, a passion , almost for watching these kinda films, you deserve a purple heart, just for that, now did you mention bikini babes?