Frenzy, Sharks and Vlogs

"Frenzy"? Yep...and no, not the Hitchcock one. A shark movie from our buddies at Syfy! A Syfy Original we have today with three great big great whites. The cast? Babes and hunks. Their chances of surviving? Nil. Still, before calling this film hokey, corny, and stupid, I might remind you the ending to "Jaws" was actually not possible. Myth Busters proved that. But we have babes in bikinis and wetsuits, and toothy menaces. Our feature today is 2018's "Frenzy" (aka "Surrounded"), directed by Jose Montesinos.

The beautiful Paige (Gina Vitori), an extreme explorer, has a Vlog with millions of followers. Her and her team are going swimming with the sharks in a South Pacific locale...or that's their aim. Along for the ride is Paige's younger sister Lindsey (Aubrey Reynolds) who is also a babe and is frequently bikini clad. Seb (Taylor Jorgensen) is Lindsey's BF and he's a hunk, and is also banging Paige...cad! Then there are two throwaways, Kahaia (Lanett Tachel) and Evan (Michael S. New)...shark food. They take a private plane, with its beacon turned off, and go under the radar to a secret location. There, the plane breaks in the air and now all on bord are in the ocean, scattered. We see Lindsey first. She comes to the surface and seems to be alone.  She's not. Nope...three great whites are nearby and have already eaten the pilot.

Scared, Lindsey calls for her buddies and Kahaia soon appears. She'll be eaten as Lindsey finds a raft and climbs in. Seb also appears...and last for about a minute before he's eaten. Where's Paige? No sign of her. The sharks begin attacking the inflatable raft and Lindsey rows toward a small cove on an islet. Now the sharks converge on her and she remembers the past few days in flashbacks. Sex with Seb. Her sister double-crossing her. Learning SCUBA. How to kill 20-foot great whites. Wait...okay, so she picks the last one up on the fly. As the sharks hunt her, Lindsey makes up her mind...kill the maneaters before they eat her. Good plan and it allows for gritty  realism to seep into this film. 

Where is Paige?  Can Lindsey kill a total of 60 feet worth of great whites all by her lonesome self? Will the sharks be as impressed with this influencer wannabe as we are? Surprises and heartbreak abound. The ending will be such a beautiful thing and 100% realistic...well, maybe 20%.  For some fun, and if you enjoy Syfy Originals, see "Frenzy." 

Piranha, William Smith's Magnum Opus

Piranha! Uh...no, not that one.  Oh...no, not that one either.  Wait...no, not that one...or any of those sequels.  Before there were those more famous piranha films of Roger Corman or Joe Dante...or even James Cameron (the Titanic guy) made one...there was the 1972 not-quite-a-masterpiece film that starred one of the great heavies of the past 60 years...William Smith. Yep...in this one he is as deadly as a bunch of these toothy fish.  Our feature today is 1972's "Piranha," directed by Bill Gibson.

Caribe (Smith) is a hunter. He hunts for the thrill of the kill. He even traps monkeys and feeds them to anacondas just for the fun of it. Beats on-line betting or phone app betting of NFL games if you ask me. Then, two American arrive in Venezuela.  The sultry blonde Terry (Ahna Capri) and her brother Art (Tom Simcox). Terry is a photographer who believes no animal should ever be killed by human. Yep, she'll change her mind real fast after she enters the Amazon. Her brother is a gadabout who succeeds in banging a sultry Venezuelan slut (Julie Teca) in Caracas. Good for him! Now they hire a guide, the handsome Jim (Peter Brown).  Lucky for Terry that Peter brings a gun as  she shoots an offending rattlesnake right off the bat as it sprung at the nubile blonde babe.

The go further into the Amazon so Terry can get more photos of the wildlife. She has a grant to do it.  There they meet Caribe who smiles at them as an anaconda smiles at a hog. We know what he has on his mind. Rape and murder. Uh oh...Caribe gets Terry's juices going even though she hates the concept of hunting and killing animals. Jim hates Caribe from the outset and loses a motorcycle race to him that went through a swampy Amazon landscape. Caribe brings the trio further and further into the Amazon as Art is now after diamonds which seem prevalent in the basin. Now, well into the Amazon, just like an anaconda, or rattlesnake, Caribe springs.  Poor Terry...the thug wants a sex toy and Terry has tons more sex appeal than the local Indians. Now the trio is at Caribe's mercy and he is a vicious killer.

Will the nubile blonde Terry be soiled by Caribe and fed to piranhas?  Will Art and Jim stand a chance against this monster in his own home turf?  Are the piranhas, referenced in the title of this film, going to be part of the final reveal?  This is brutal one and the fate of Terry may make many of you wince. For piranhas, anacondas, rattlesnakes, gators (or are they crocs?), electric eels, etc...and a complete psycho, see William Smith in his magnum opus, "Piranha." 

The Requin, Vietnam Sharks

"The Requin"? Really? It's a shark movie. Hence the first big problem with this film. Requin? Are you kidding me? Nothing says shocking horror like...REQUIN!? As Mayor Vaughn said in 1975, "...you yell 'requin,' and people say 'huh,' 'what'?  You yell SHARK and all of a sudden you have a panic on your hands during Tet!" Or, something like that.  Problem number 2...nothing says roping in an audience like a backstory about a painful and tragic pregnancy. So this is what you do...call the film "Charlie was a Shark" or "Ho Shark Minh," then replace the pregnancy backstory with one about a zombie infestation in Saigon...then we're talking Oscars! Let us look at 2022's "The Requin," directed by Le-Van Kiet.

We'll skip the backstory...it will make you root for the great white shark. Okay, a vacationing couple, Jaelyn (Alicia Silverstone) and Kyle (James Tupper) are vacationing at a swanky Vietnamese resort. She cries a lot and we want to yell at the screen, GET OVER IT! They have one of those rooms in a hut built on the ocean and connected to the beach by a dock. Always fun until a freak typhoon arrives. Yep, Vietnam's Weather Channel isn't much better than the US one. Now Kyle and Jaelyn are banged up, bleeding, and still in their room...but the hut is now in the middle of the Pacific. Even worse, Kyle's leg is really badly hurt and bleeding and the blood is dripping off the mangled hut into the ocean.

You guessed it...sharks arrive. We are happy about this as one may eat Jaelyn. Then the couple try some things, all really stupid things, and before you know it the hut bursts into flames and now scattered driftwood is their only refuge. Kyle is bleeding some more. The sharks begin getting closer and the really big sharks arrive. I must say, the final 30 or 35 minutes of this film is now at hand...and believe it or not, it gets really good.  No spoilers here, but if you are about to turn this film off when the selfish and PTSD ridden Jaelyn goes off for the 1,000th time...don't.  What happens in the final third of the film will be well worth learning a new word...Requin. What is a requin? French for shark. I know...just call it SHARK! I'm with you.

Will we be fortunate enough to see Jaelyn eaten?  Will Kyle be fortunate enough to see Jaelyn eaten? Who goes to Nam to help their PTSD?  I mean, isn't that what Disney World is for? Perhaps Joel and the bots could have done a nice job with this one. Still, for the final 30 minutes, this is a good one. See "Nam Shark," I mean "The Requin," and reconsider staying in one of those hut ocean rooms in tropical places.

Death Cruise, Not the Love Boat

Nope, not "The Love Boat," but this Aaron Spelling production had a cast that could have been on that show. This made for TV film is so pleasing here in 2026 as it stars Kate Jackson! Yep, between "The Rookies" and "Charlie's Angels" the babe did this film in which she provided glamour and a sense of vulnerableness...even though she is heavily armed with a big rifle throughout the movie. One of "Charlie's Angels," in a slinky evening gown and armed with a big gun? Yep! That is so right! Let us look 1974's "Death Cruise."

It opens like a Love Boat episode as we meet the characters pertinent to the story. Jerry and his wife Sylvia (Richard Long and Polly Bergen) are spouses. She is controlling and he is a two-timing cad. James and Mary Frances (Edward Albert and Jackson) are a terrific looking young couple...seemingly happily married. When the murders start, we will see something different. Then Mr. C. himself, David (Tom Bosley) is married to Elizabeth (Celeste Holm). Elizabeth has grown distant from David through the years. They all sit at Table 24 for dinner with the ship's doctor, Burke (Michael Constantine). They get along fine, kind of. Sylvia makes cracks about Jerry's infidelity and she is in a gown that you won't believe the cleavage factor in it. One wonders how Kate Jackson felt, as she is clad in a sultry red evening gown and being shown up by a much older actress. Just saying! Back to the story at hand.

Uh oh...the murders begin. One by one the six guests bite the dust. Why? Who? Clues? Burke, begins snooping. Ah...the six have a connection. Atlanta 1970! They were all there. Uh oh, they all are on the cruise after winning a contest none of them remembers entering. Burke is smart even though he is not a detective. Dammit, Jim...I'm a doctor! He just about tells the captain this. As far as we are concerned, we want Mary Frances to survive and go on to do "Charlie's Angels." Besides the shots of her with her evening attire at night, and a big skeet rifle during the day really seduce us. A 2026 audience will see the twists coming a mile away, but a 1974 TV audience will be shocked at what unfolds.

Will our dear Kate Jackson survive the killer?  Is she the killer?  Will Burke catch the killer before he kills off all the TV stars?  Did Kate Jackson rip Aaron Spelling a new one when Polly Bergen's cleavage gown outshone her own red slinky one? This is a fun one and made a few years before "The Love Boat" and filmed aboard the Queen Mary.  See "Death Cruise," as in 2026 it is so much fun. 

Unknown Island, King King Lite!

An uncharted island in the South Pacific! Filled with monsters! Dinosaurs! A huge ape! Okay, not an ape...but a giant...sloth! Let's just go with that...it does have fangs. No Fay  Wray in this one but the rose among the thorns in this "King Kong" rip-off is the sultry Virginia Grey. She well be beset by all sorts of huge lizard type creatures, T-Rex beasts, and of course the sloth. Really, the sloth really is terrifying. Hunks abound to save her including the fellow from "Creature from the Black Lagoon," Richard Denning. Yep, this one is in color, quite a feat for 1948.  Let us look at the dinosaur film "Unknown Island," directed by Jack Bernhard.

At a dive bar in Singapore, Carole (Grey) and her fiancé Ted (Phillip Reed) enter to find a captain to bring them to an uncharted island in the Pacific. During the war Ted, blown off course, saw a small island teeming with dinosaurs. He wants to go there, photograph them, and bring some back. A fortune awaits if he is successful. The sultry Carole is financing the expedition and Captain Tarnowski (Barton MacLane) agrees. Oh, Tarnowski insists that the seemingly insane drunk, Fairbanks (Denning) join them. See, Fairbanks has been on the island but no one believed his stories of big dinosaurs who ate all his mates. Now the happy party set sail, deal with mutineers, but finally get to the uncharted island.

They see dinosaurs right away from the ship and take a launch to it. Fairbanks goes only because he is sweet on Carole. Ted gets obsessed with his pictures and discoveries and does not see his fiancé is being stolen from him. The T-Rex things attack and eat some of the crew members. So do other dinosaurs. Then, through the jungle brush, a hairy beast emerges...the fanged sloth. In peril, Ted, Tarnowski, and Fairbanks agree they need to flee the island...but this won't be easy. Their launch is stolen by scared and soon to be dead crewmen, and their supplies are ruined.  Now, Carole wanders away from the men and finds herself in more mortal peril.

Rubber suits and puppets make up our monsters in this one. This thrilled a 1948 audience and will thrill a 2026 audience, too...but for more nostalgic reasons. Exciting and with a lot of dinosaur action, this rip-off of "King King" is much better than any of the "King King" remakes. Also, however sultry Fay Wray is, Virginia Grey is just as much of a babe. For some roaring good fun, see "Unknown Island." 

House of the Damned, Haunted House Surprises

Haunted mansion, actually. The setting for this one is an isolated old mansion deep in the California mountains. The original owner? In a mental asylum for blowing off a guy's head. Last resident? Unknown. Yep, we have the makings for a nice Gothic type horror film, filled with ghosts, screams, and...well, you'll see. Oh, guess who is in it? Richard Kiel! The Jaws guy from "Octopussy." He plays...a giant! Go figure. Today we look at 1963's "House of the Damned," directed by Maury Dexter.

Finding work is tough for hunk architect Scott (Ron Foster). His sultry blonde wife Nancy (Merry Anders) is quite supportive. Yay! A job! Hunk real estate lawyer Joseph (Richard Crane) has a job for them. Go to the abandoned Rochester mansion and survey it to get it ready for sale. Scott and Nancy are thrilled...they won't stay thrilled. Joseph and his sultry wife, Loy (Erika Peters) will meet them at the mansion in a day or two to help out. Scott and Nancy arrive at the mysterious house and have 13 keys that will open 50 doors. Big spooky place.  Uh oh...we get indications that our lovebirds are not alone in the house. Then, while they sleep, something hideous crawls into their bedroom and steals the keys. When they wake, Scott and Nancy can't figure out where the keys went. All is well as the beautiful and flirty Loy shows up. Actually Scott is well, Nancy is peeved as she correctly surmises Loy is a...skank.

Where's Joe? Loy wants to know. Scott and Nancy have a lot of work to do and Loy strips out of her clothes, into a swimsuit, and goes sunbathing. We like Loy...a lot better than Nancy likes her. Joe shows up and Loy yells at him and storms out. She won't get far as on the other side of a door she opens is...is... well, you'll see. Now the three look for Loy. uh oh...creepy stuff happens and there is someone in the cabinet watching their every move...in bed. Uh oh...some thing that creeps is also astir in the house. Uh oh...well, Richard Kiel is also prowling around.  Uh oh...the rooms that don't have keys? Well Scott and Joseph decide to bust them down as they search for Loy after Nancy saw...saw...oh, it's awful, you'll see.

Where is Loy and did Richard Kiel take her as his unwilling bride? Why did Joe get to the house way after his wife? Is the Rochester woman (Georgia Schmidt) really locked in an asylum or did she get out? Nancy and Loy are true babes and lend a great cheese factor to this film. Scott and Joseph are hunks and lend a nice beef factor. Behind the locked doors...well...you'll see. Oh, the ending! Wow! See "House of the Damned" and be shocked when you meet the damned.

Dredd, Justice in the Future

Okay, today we have "Escape From New York" meets "RoboCop." Not a bad combo.  I mean, it ain't like we have to watch a film that combines "Mrs. Soffel" and "The English Patient." Nope... carnage... violence...gore...machine guns...incendiaries...daggers...and a cute blonde.  Sylvester Stallone already did this character, Dredd, a number of years earlier, and we can debate the need for this Karl Urban rendition, but this 3D film is so much fun, no matter how much it was not needed. Today we look at 2012's "Dredd," directed by Pete Travis.

Yep...you know the general plot. A mega-city is out of control in the not too distant future. Crime has taken over and judges now have the power to be judge, juries, and executioners. Dredd (Urban) is one such bloke...and he is merciless, perhaps appropriately so. As the film begins he mows down three druggies. Now he is assigned a partner, a not quite ready for prime time babe, Anderson (Olivia Thirlby). The blond babe seems to have what it takes to be blown away on her first day on duty...except... Yep, she's no ordinary babe, she is a mutant.  Her mutation? Psychic! Now Dredd and her answer a call at the worst tenement building in the city and find themselves walking into a buzzsaw. 

So here is the deal. Ma-Ma (Lena Headey) is the crime lord running all the manufacturing and distribution of a brand new narcotic, called Slo-Mo. Her base of operations is the top floor of this tenement skyscraper. When Dredd and Anderson show up, and by the way, Anderson looks very nice in her black leather tactical suit, Ma-Ma is determined not to let them ruin her operation. She locks down the building, cuts off communications, and has her thugs and every building resident hunt our judges. Now everyone in the building hunts them and Anderson is warned that if they catch her, Ma-Ma will make her wish she committed suicide instead of being taken alive. A catfight between Ma-Ma and Anderson? You'll see. Grenades, machineguns, explosives, and attitude will prevail in this war. Oh, there is a death scene at the end of the movie that is just so poetic, it should be a mandatory scene in any movie made today.

Just what will Ma-Ma do to Anderson if she takes her prisoner?  Will Dredd fall in love with the nubile blonde mutant psychic?  Will the death toll exceed 200...and how many of the deaths will be in 3D? Sure, not a movie we needed after the Stallone entry, but enjoyable and satisfying nonetheless. Prophetic and therapeutic, "Dredd" is a film you will thoroughly enjoy."