Confessions of a Psycho Cat, The Most Dangerous Game at an Orgy

1932's "The Most Dangerous Game," starring Fay Wray, was a brilliant thriller about a big game hunter hunting castaways on his private island. This film has been remade a trillion times and many times the remakes have some interesting variations.  None as interesting as setting the film at an orgy in which naked babes frolic and demand deviant sex.  Hey...why not?  Today we look at 1968's "Confessions of a Psycho Cat," directed by Herbert S. Altman and Robert Worms.

We meet the 'Psycho Cat' immediately. A wealthy socialite with too much time on her hands,  Virginia (Eileen Lord) lives in a posh Manhattan apartment and loves to hunt big game. She is definitely a psycho as enough of her backstory is hit upon in this film for you to see this. Bored with animals, she decides to hunt humans...of course.  She selects three men, all have killed or been responsible for someone's death. The deal is...the schmuck is given a check for $100K dated tomorrow.  If they stay alive until tomorrow...they can cash the check.  All three accept...and now Virginia, armed with a crossbow, traipses through Manhattan, hunting these idiots.

Oh yeah, a steamy orgy is occurring and is the backdrop of the entire story.  Buddy (Frank Geraci) is throwing the orgy and he is also a supplier of drugs to his guests.  He figures, he'll hide out at the orgy. Another schmuck is Jake LaMotta (yes, that Jake LaMotta)...he's a wrestler who accidentally killed an opponent in the ring. The final schmuck is Charles (Dick Lord), an actor who once killed his girlfriend's jealous husband.  The three seem hardly equipped for survival and we sense they should never have agreed to Virginia's terms.  More orgy...more naked babes...more deviant sex.  Two thirds of this film is at the orgy, and the talent is first-class cheese.  Virginia is a maniac with issues...and she hunts the trio. She is also smart and knows how to lure them out into the open.  It appears Buddy has what it takes to win...but when the drugs run out at his orgy...well, he makes a stupid mistake.

Will any of the three schmucks survive Virginia's wrath? Will any of the naked and nubile meet Virginia and her crossbow at the aforementioned orgy?  Is the orgy and the crossbow as plot devices a pertinent metaphor for America's increasingly perilous geo-political woes especially as it stands in Europe? Naked babes...an orgy...crossbow carnage...and a maniacal babe who hates men...see "Confessions of a Psycho Cat" today. 

The Devil Commands, Boris Karloff as a Mad Scientist

Who better to play a mad scientist than Boris Karloff? You gotta love those old mad scientists in film. They did not have government grants.  They didn't waste tax payer money. They were brainiacs and worried about things like curing death or making human beings super-human. Today we have mad scientists who you pay for. They work in the CDC, NIH, in public health fields, and pharmaceutical companies. They don't try to cure death, they cause it...and get paid a lot to do just that. Our feature today is 1941's "The Devil Commands," directed by Edward Dmytryk.

He's done it! Dr. Julian Blair (Karloff) invites five scientists to see his new discovery. Blair has found a way to read someone's brain...their exact thoughts, and have it all spelled out on a graph. Today mad scientists at pharmaceutical companies invent fraudulent medications for Alzheimer's. I ask you, just who is the mad scientist? Okay, Blair is ecstatic and his beloved wife Helen (Shirley Warde) drives him home from the university. Car crash...she dies. Blair is distraught and reclusive, and when he puts his machine back on, his wife's brain starts messaging him. Now he's obsessed. He wants to communicate with the dead...and he has a lead. Enter medium Mrs. Blanche Winters (Anne Revere). Blair proves her a fraud, kind of.  He also proves that she is indeed a medium and her brain can communicate with the dead. Yep, he hooks her up to the thing and guess what...it works.

Leaving a lot out, Anne Blair (Amanda Duff), is worried about her dad. She tries to see him, but he spends all day and night at the lab doing experiments with Mrs. Winters. Winters and him leave town and the university, and get a big house on the Maine coast. There, the townspeople get upset when bodies are robbed from their graves. They assume, correctly, Blair is stealing the corpses but don't know why. In his lab, he has dead people connected to his machine and the medium Mrs. Walters is also connected. Now Anne races to the mansion to find her dad and save him from madness. 

Just what does Blair hope to conjure up in his latest experiments?  What is Mrs. Winters' deal, and how did she get from fraudster to Blair's assistant? Will the townsfolk storm Blair's mansion with torches and pitchforks? This is a terrific mad scientist film with an eerie ending and an important message to the scientific community of today which is guided by madness and cruelty. See "The Devil Commands," and enjoy a little known Karloff film.

Blood Shed, That Voodoo and Santeria Stuff

We have a lurid and depraved one today. No humor.  All ominous and quite taboo. The setting is not a unique one for horror, a storage unit facility...after dark.  As usual, there is much more living in there than a few homeless users. Hey, Bai Ling is in this. No one plays a trashy skank like Bai Ling, and in this one, she plays a...trashy skank. Even so, there is something about Bai Ling that brings a smile to our faces...though we probably shouldn't admit this in polite company.  Our feature today is 2013's "Blood Shed," directed by Patrick Hasson and Juan Carlos Saizarbitoria.

Ick, Khara (Vida Guerra), a babe, is very pregnant. A vengeful spirit, or demon, who was probably sultry in life invades the storage unit she is living in and slashes her BF to death and does all sorts of horrible things to her. See, the demon, Jezebel (Cherie Jimenez) wants the baby. Why?  You'll see, and it won't be the feel good story of the year. Enter the loser, Gabriel (Gabriel De Santiago). Hunk, but he lives in his car. One day a key comes in an envelope for a storage unit at the same place. He goes there and finds a locked trunk. Yep, inside the trunk is the answers to all our questions. Enter Samira (Bree Essrig), the assistant manager of the joint. She is hot for Gabriel, but Gabriel is emotionally unavailable. We also meet the aforementioned skank, Lucy (Ling), and her tranny lover, Devon (Qaadir Howard). We like Lucy, not so much Devon. 

Meanwhile Jezebel is prepping Khara and also torturing her. Jezebel also roams the corridors looking for unsuspecting homeless to gut. Gabriel gets the trunk in his unit open and what he finds is horrific and an answer to his mysterious past.  Uh oh...enter Samira's blonde skank buddy Evette (Jillisa Lynn). Jezebel will take a special interest in her and the result won't be pretty. Bad news for all involved, it is after 9pm, which means the place is locked down and no one is going to leave.  Worse news, Jezebel wants Gabriel.  Why and for what is still a mystery. The backstory is alluded to throughout the plot, and we see a weird voodoo/Santeria rite performed on Jezebel when she was among the living.

Just what does Jezebel the demon want with Gabriel?  What will be the fate of the tortured pregnant Khara? When living in a storage unit, is this a surprising fate? This will get gory and it will be difficult to watch as Jezebel tortures and maims the once beautiful Khara.  For a horror film that is indeed a horror film all thew way, see "Blood Shed." 

The Head Hunter, Severed Heads and Grunting

Okay, decapitating everyone you meet might be termed anti-social behavior. I don't mean to be judgmental, but others are, and the brutes among us might have difficulty getting invited to high teas. Then, if you stink, grunt, and spit...and piss blood...other than at frat parties, you are going to be staying home on Friday nights. However, for a character in a horror film...you are golden... even if you are the only character. In, what is largely, a one-act play...we look at 2018's "The Head Hunter," directed by Jordan Downey.

He's a medieval warrior (Christopher Rygh) that spits and pisses blood...as we all are metaphorically, at times. He dwells in a cursed forest that is controlled by trolls and monsters. Our warrior roams about, finds the creatures, engages in battle with them, and decapitates them. He then takes the head and impales it on his wall in his little hovel. Now he seeks the beast who killed his daughter. His weapons are a battle-axe, hatchet, bow and arrow, spikes, and a sour attitude. Our grunting hunk, who smells bad, has some neat potions for his wounds. When he comes home from killing trolls, his gashes are intense...but after rubbing some black gunk on them, are almost all healed by morning.

There are trolls and then there are monsters.  Now he seeks a monster. Uh oh...sometimes the severed heads don't stay dead. Now he'll have to deal with a head that has grown a whipping vertebrae. We won't dwell on this plot twist as many of us have our own experiences doing just that.  In the world of warrior monster killer, you have no friends, and our protagonist is no different. Soon we will find out that his enemies are just about every living being he meets.

Will our warrior find the creature who murdered his daughter?  Will the head with the whipping spine grow any more appendages?  What ultimately is the end goal for someone who prowls the forests looking for grotesque beings? This is a man's movie...about a man who grunts and kills monsters. So be a wuss and go see a romantic comedy, while the real men around you will watch "The Head Hunter."

War Wolves, Adrienne Barbeau is in it!

Adrienne Barbeau is in this movie! Yes! Thank heavens Bea Arthur is not! Oh, guess what! John Saxon is in it...so is Tim Thomerson, Art LaFleur, and Marin Kove! This movie features babe she-wolves (not Ilsa), two hot lesbian motel managers, a dysfunctional AA group, and the most awkward and embarrassing werewolf f/x ever put on camera. But...Adrienne Barbeau is in it. Today we look at 2009's "War Wolves," directed by and starring Michael Worth.  A good film? Infinitely better than any Oscar nominated piece of garbage with 16 nominations.

Let's skip the plot and just discuss a few things. First, Gail (Barbeau) is a fantastic character. The lady who gets Jake (Worth) to start coming to AA meetings would have been considered a conspiracy theorist-loon when this film was made in 2009. Today, she is the voice of wisdom. The three she-wolves (Natasha Alam, Kristi Clainos, and Siri Baruc) are gorgeous...and deadly. They seek Jake who is supposed to be their alpha-wolf, but like many of us, he desires to be a zeta-wolf...no ambition. Enter Tony (Saxon) and Frank (Thomerson) who are our monster hunters. They seek the army company that was turned into monsters in Iraq...and now the fiends feast on small California towns. 

I should pause here and remind you that Adrienne Barbeau is in this movie, which is a film a hundred times better than "Avatar."  The sultry she-wolf trio, who are battling PMS and PTSD, seek Jake... mostly because Erika, head she-wolf, loves him. Eventually the other two she-wolves get jealous and she-wolf catfights loom...find a scene like that in "Sinners"! Jake? He's cool and fighting what he has become. The AA meetings? You will need a drink after seeing them in this movie. There are fangs.  There are snouts.  You may be thinking you are watching the Broadway hit "Cats." Still...the monsters are sultry, Jake is a hunk, and John Saxon as a monster hunter is something movie audiences have been demanding since "Blood Beach."

Will we get the she-wolf catfight?  Will Jake have pre-marital sex with Erika or murder her? Will you need to go to AA after seeing this film? Remember, the babe from "Swamp Thing" is in this movie. So resist the garbage the Academy Awards would push on you, as most people of the world will, and see a prescient film from 2009, "War Wolves."

The Creeper, Sultry Dames in Catfights

What better plot for catfights than when you have two sultry dames, jealous of one another, and one turns into a...cat-monster! There are two sultry actresses in this film, June Vincent as a laboratory assistant, and Janis Wilson as the nubile daughter of a mad scientist. Even in 1948, a catfight between the two of them would have been great cinema.  Even if one turns into a huge cat creature. Today we have a tale of mad scientists, their secret serums, an annoying hunk who loves both dames, and...a cat creature.  Let us look at 1948's "The Creeper," directed by Jean Yarbrough.

Dr. Lester Cavigny (Ralph Morgan) and his lovely assistant, Gwen (Vincent) are sad because the crates with their serums have been destroyed.  They invented a serum to cure death or something during their experiments in the West Indies. During those experiments, Lester's sultry daughter Nora (Wilson) got sick, delirious, and may have changed into a cat creature and shredded some natives...today we call this PMS. Apparently, Lester's partner, Dr. Bordon (Onslow Stevens) wants to steal the serum and take full credit. Oh, across the hall are two rival scientists, the weird Dr. Van Glock (Eduardo Ciannelli) and Dr. John Reade (John Baragrey), an annoying hunk. Initially John loves Gwen, but when she becomes "distant," he instantly moves in on Nora, who may be insane and a cat monster...as many babes are.

Now people begin being shredded in and around the lab.  Nora has black-outs and exhibits symptoms of schizophrenia.  Gwen is all to eager to point this out in an attempt to win John back.  Now the cops are interested in Nora as a suspect in the murders around the lab.  Uh oh...the cat creature's carnage enters the lab and cast members begin dying horribly.  Nora is found unconscious near the crime scenes and the cops are looking at her closely.  Now Gwen makes a bigger play for John and the dolt that he is, he seems receptive.  Even worse, Dr. Bordon is hounding Nora for her dad's notes, but Nora refuses to give them up, distrusting her dad's partner. Oh, did I mention, Nora's dad was the first victim of the cat thing? Fear not, there will be plenty more.

Is Nora the cat creature?  Just what is this serum, and did this serum cause Nora to change into the cat monster? Even if Nora is not the monster, will there still be a catfight between Gwen and her? This is a creepy, atmospheric one that also serves as a good mystery.  For some caddy babes and probably catfights, see "The Creeper."   

The Evil Eye, No One Believes Her

I have to say, the final 30 seconds of this film is classic!  Maybe the best last 30 seconds ever put on film! We can thank Mario Bava for that. Is it a horrific ending or a hilarious ending.  I laughed, though I do have a twisted sense of humor. We have an Italian Giallo offering today filmed in Rome. A sultry dame, and she is uber-sultry, is in great peril and no one believes her accounts of what she has seen. Today we look at Mario Bava's 1963 quirky thriller, "The Evil Eye."

Sultry dame Nora (Leticia Roman) arrives in Rome to visit an elderly family friend. The flight over is filled with intrigue, but we won't discuss that here. The elderly family friend? She dies of heart failure sending Nora running in horror looking for a doctor, Dr. Marcello Bissa (John Saxon). On the way to the hospital, a storm rages, her purse is stolen by a mugger, she falls unconscious, and when she wakes, she sees some guy stab a beautiful woman in the back...then Nora passes out again. When she wakes, her doctor tells her that like most beautiful women, she is a liar, subject to drama, and probably drunk. Marcello shows up and kind of believes her, but he is in love with her, and she with him. The two will make goo-goo eyes at one another until a gratuitous beach scene where Nora is in a bikini, Marcello in a swimsuit, they kiss, roll around in the surf, and swap spit for quite a while. 

Back to the murder mystery. Nora, with Marcello's help tries to prove she saw a murder. A beautiful woman, Laura (Valentina Cortese) befriends her and invites Nora to stay at her home during her stay in Rome. Nora finds out the murder she saw is a carbon copy of a murder of a babe 10 years ago...and that killer killed many girls...and has never been caught. More investigation reveals that Nora will be the next victim. Marcello tries to help her only believing half her story. Someone is following Nora, and anyone with knowledge of the killings 10 years ago are themselves killed.

Is Marcello the killer?  Is the murder of young beautiful women a foretelling of the EU's hatred for beauty and bikini-babes frolicking in the surf? Will Nora's avid reading of mystery novels help her catch the fiend who wants to kill her? For a sultry dame in great peril from a knife wielding killer story, see "The Evil Eye," and see the magnum opus of the very sultry Leticia Roman.

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