Tiger's Rampage, Tiger vs. Bachelorettes

Yep, we'll be cheering for the tiger. Five beautiful, and eternally boring dames, doing boring things, being annoying, whining, giggling, and playing lame drinking games. Yep, go tiger! In a gore-fest, hauntingly loyal to the book, we will look at 2026's "Tiger's Rampage," directed by Dominic Nutter.

Hurricane hits England! Go with it. The zoo is decimated and a tiger is now loose on the countryside. It eats two zookeepers, no great loss. Gotta say, the kills are extremely gory. Here they come, a bride-to-be and her four bridesmaids for a bachelorette weekend at a rented mansion near the woods. Oh, Cindy (Francesca Weir) the bride is blind. Her boring friends, one will end up in a bikini, are ready for drinking, marijuana, hot tub frolicking, and the obligatory Truth-or-Dare game. Yawn. Lara (Sophie Jo Beman) is an outsider to the group, but we like her the best. Mya (Paige Haim) brought a bikini and is ready for the hot tub. Louise (Serena Lehman) is a hot blonde who sketches. Then Pepper (Sarah Louise Hill), who is no Angie Dickinson, but she does love crystals and other New Age garbage. I know...bring on the tiger.

Yep, it arrives.  The thing is big and CGI, but identifies as a real tiger, so for the purpose of this review we will consider it a real tiger. It doesn't like these dames either. The gals are ill equipped to battle the monster and blood will splatter all over the place. Blind Cindy will make some dumb mistakes as none of her other senses seem to have enhanced after losing her sight. Pepper's crystals will not stop the onslaught...big surprise there. Oh, even the Truth-or-Dare game won't leads to any prurient revelations. The ending? You will not believe it.  You thought shooting the SCUBA tank in "Jaws" was a great ending! Ha! The ending here is...well...let's just say that Joel and the 'bots would have had a field day with it.

Will the babes all get in bikinis and have a catfight in the hot tub that includes a real cat? Will Cindy find out that one of her girlfriends had an affair with her fiancé? Will Cindy's cane be of any use against a predatory tiger? See "Tiger's Rampage" and realize why the male species is far superior than the female species.

X, When Beauty Flees Us

This Ti West film may be the most disturbing film you will see this decade.  Everything about it is designed to make you squirm and turn your head...and I'm not just talking gore. It should also be noted that this film is the magnum opus for Mia Goth, for reasons you will understand when you see this film... if you decide to watch it. Porn! Weird sex! Gore! Rated X filmmaking! Oh, throw in a gator, for whatever that is worth.  Let us look at the Ti West vicious horror film, 2022's "X."

1979! Remember that year? AIDS wasn't a thing yet, and that is significant because the film will follow a movie crew as they make an indie porn film called "The Farmer's Daughters." Plot? Really? Wayne (Martin Henderson) is the executive producer and is able to rent a rooming house from an old farmer, Howard (Stephen Ure). Really old!  Like almost 100, or so he looks. Now Wayne can have his film shot on a real farm. Howard did not know the purpose Wayne wanted the building, but is not happy...for reasons that will disgust you. Maxine (Goth) is Wayne's GF and an "actress" in the film. Jackson (Kid Cudi) is the male lead and has a big tally-whacker. Jackson's GF and female lead is the buxom Bobby-Lynne (Brittany Snow). The sound girl, Lorraine (Jenna Ortega) is quite a dish and will eventually become an "actress" in this porn film..  Uh oh, Howard's dementia ridden wife is loose and her passions and desires are stoked when she peeps in a window and sees Jackson giving it to Bobby-Lynne.

I didn't mention the director, RJ (Owen Campbell). Lorraine is his GF and he goes ape when she insists on becoming an actress in his film. He storms off and is met by Pearl, who tries to seduce him (yuck!) then stabs him in the neck. Now the dementia ridden Pearl, who has her sexuality from 1920 stoked and re-awakened, tries to seduce everyone and if they rebuff her, gory death awaits. She does have a special place in her heart for Maxine and will, at one point crawl into bed with her and...well, you'll see. Maxine? She looks diminutive but she is always high on cocaine and that will give her spunk. Now, with all the porn going on in the building next to the farm house, the ancient Pearl wants sex from anyone that moves.  This causes discomfort from the youngsters on the crew, and it just may cause their demises, too. 

Gory, vicious, and very uncomfortable, this film will have you reaching over to turn it off, but your hand will never quite make it to the knob (1979 terminology). Oh, get this...the sweet young Maxine is played by Mia Goth...who also plays the ancient Pearl.  You will have to see it to believe it. For one of those horrific horror films we may not want to have seen, you will find yourself unable to change the channel.  See "X," and be warned, you won't be able to unsee it.  

Fall, Over 2000 Feet

A long way down. Over 2000 feet. I have heard there is no fear of heights...it is, in reality, a fear of jumping. You get way up there and all of a sudden the dangers are magnified.  Fear. Panic. Buzzards. Each other. No room for error.  Today we have one that plies some Alfred Hitchcock techniques that build suspense. We also have a couple of gals, neither of which we like, who must battle their own stupid choices to survive. I know, when a woman wants to be independent and empowered, find the men to come save them. Our feature today is 2022's "Fall," directed by Scott Mann.  Let's just hope some men will care enough to save these babes.

Okay, three idiots climb an angry mountain, the mountain wins. Becky (Grace Caroline Currey), her influencer buddy Hunter (Virginia Gardner), and Becky's husband Dan (Mason Gooding). Becky and Dan are so cute...too cute. Dan messes up and falls to his death, traumatizing Becky. Becky should move on, as her dad (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) reminds her. Instead she drowns out her sorrow with alcohol and pills. A year later, her bestie, Hunter, has a proposition for her. Climb the B-67 TV tower...2047 feet! Hunter will post on YouTube, and Becky can face her fears and demons and move on in life. Dan? Still dead...good. It takes some convincing, but Becky realizes Hunter is right, and she does need to move on so she can live. Off they go. Oh, the 2000 foot tower? Not operable anymore and in the middle of nowhere.

The tower looks daunting and is surrounded by buzzards...fit omen. At first the climb is easy...deceptively easy.  On their way up, using the tower's ladder, nuts and bolts are jarred loose from their climbing. Up, up, and away...more bolts fall loose. The geniuses don't care, there is a tragedy to move on from, and likes to be had. They get there. Hunter makes sure her cleavage is front and center...views, you know. Becky has done it. She has conquered her fear and her sorrow. Then, remember all those bolts that fell? The ladder falls off the tower, leaving the babes stuck up there. Now the two must be resourceful and figure out how to get down...other than the obvious way. This won't be easy as gravity is just waiting to give them a hand. Sure, they come up with a few bad ideas, that fail miserably. Then the buzzards come.  Only fair. Just what will the babes do? Post cleavage pics on Instagram, film YouTube segments, and bicker. Dames! Days go by.  People do not come.

Will some men, who won't do anything stupid, arrive to save these two broads?  Is Hunter's cleavage worth more than a few hits on Instagram? Will two babes, stuck in the same place for more than 10 minutes, end up murdering one another? I gotta give the moviemakers credit, it really does look realistic, like they actually filmed 2000 feet up. If you are afraid of heights, this is not the film for you. The suspense is very Hitchcockian. See "Fall," ignore the clickbait cleavage, and enjoy a suspenseful woman vs. tower movie.

 

The Power, Not the Higher One

What a weird movie. Almost hallucinogenic. Psychedelic, maybe. A techno-thriller! Right, it is from 1968. Mad scientists working on a government contract go spastic. Think of Dr. Fauci and Josef Mengele with no supervision. You know we're in trouble when the government and the military industrial complex want to study the human threshold for pain. Lab rats? Ha! People! Sure, why not? What could go wrong!? Just ask Lord Acton. Our feature today is "The Power," directed by Byron Haskin.

Mr. Nordlund (Michael Rennie) arrives from the government to provide supervision at a university's laboratory which is working on the aforementioned experiment. He is very interested in Jim Tanner's (George Hamilton) experiment in isolating the area of the brain that processes pain. The team converges for a staff meeting and the weird mad scientist Henry Hallson (Arthur O'Connell) is unnerved. Why? Ethics or pain? No! He has figured it out. He has passed out a survey and determines someone in the group has the power. What power? The power to control everyone, control nature, control physiology, control hormones, control the past and future. No, Fauci is not in this group. There is a problem, he doesn't know who the person is. He tries an experiment and this confirms he's right. Also in the group is Van Zandt (Richard Carlson), Scott (Earl Holliman), Margery Lansing (Suzanne Pleshette), and Dr. Melnicker (Nehemiah Persoff).

That night...Hallson is murdered in the most unusual way. Enter Detective Corlane (Gary Merrill). Oh, Tanner and Lansing are lovers. Guess what Corlane finds out. Tanner has no verifiable past.  His university and past employments, listed on his resume, have never heard of him. Now fired, Lansing tries to figure out who is framing him and who is the one with the power. He visits Hallson's widow (Yvonne De Carlo)...she is now happier that her husband is dead. Uh oh...she can't even remember her husband. Tanner heads into the California desert to track down a name written on Hallson's notepad.  The team members die in weird circumstances, one by one, and Tanner finds that everyone who knows of this mystery man, either has been brainwashed, or dies. Only Margery seeks to help Tanner clear his name and figure out who this superior being is.

Confused? Well, the ending will pull all this together and provide a proper moral for possessing this almost absolute power.  Is Tanner really a fraud, and is he the one with the power?  Is the nubile Margery, who doesn't seem to be vital for the project, too helpful, thus the one with the power? If Tanner is not the one with the power, why doesn't the being with the power just kill him? It'll take you several minutes to figure out what you just saw beyond the end credits.  Still, it is worth it.  See "The Power" and revisit one of the greatest warnings delivered to humanity. 

Dungeons of Ecstasy, Bondage Made Boring

Bondage! A babe strung up in a dungeon to be stripped and violated. Light and kinky torture. Hunks, with sixpack abs fighting over a helpless maiden. Grunting. Whimpering. More bondage. Even better! This is a Charles Band film from Full Moon Features. The problem? This movie does everything it can to be a Rated PG family film. Can bondage and kinky torture be boring? Can a dungeon filled with kinky lingerie be boring? Can a babe begin to take her clothes off and people like you and me yell, "Stop!  No!"? Let us look at 2026's "Dungeons of Ecstasy." Great title, right?

Emily (Nicole Mattox), an annoying babe, and her husband Luke (Eric Guilmette), a hunk, are lovey-dovey...almost too cute. The couple is in a bad car crash and Emily is now in a coma. Luke? Good question. Eventually Emily wakes up and is told Luke divorced her. Emily can't believe it, rehabs, gets well, and goes to Italy to find her ex. Yep...finds him after being in Italy for 10 seconds. She follows him to a weird castle known as either "The Fortress" or "The Dungeon." She knows her husband is there. Turns out the guy says his name is Lucian and denies knowing Emily. Jonah (Felix Merback) is Lucan's #1 man. They look gay, but I guess they aren't.

Turns out, according to Jonah, Lucian invites babes to the castle, puts them through trials, and turns them into...well, you'll see. Don't worry, it is not as exciting as it should be. Now Lucian is putting Emily through the trials which include bondage, stripping, kinky and playful torture, and endless boring conversation. Jonah, meanwhile, is willing to betray Lucian and run off with Emily. Emily kind of likes being in a dungeon, strung up, in bondage, enduring ticklish torture.  Typical dame. Now Emily has to remind herself why she came to Italy.  Lucian has to either get her ready to be sold to an Arab sheikh, or to admit he was married to her.  Jonah? He's up to something.

Sounds interesting? Sure, in an "Escape from Witch Mountain" type way. You'll be shouting at the screen, "Where's the whip!?"  We'll get tickling when we want pain and passion. It is almost like Charles Band found out his mother was going to be at the screening and changed the plot. Still, "Dungeons of Ecstasy" is a fun watch, and anytime a babe is strung up in a dungeon in a Full Moon Features film, it is a worthwhile take. 

   

Fair Game, Aussie High-School Babes in Peril

In peril!  Babes in Australia, high school and grown up, all in peril. From who? Satanist rapists! Well, these rapists may indeed emanate from the occult, as they drive hearses.  The violation and torture may not be easy to watch in this film, as the victims, most of them, aren't quite of age. An obvious lesbian subtext also exists in which an adult babe seduces one of the schoolgirls. Brutal, and not the feel good film from Down Under.  Our feature today is "Fair Game" (aka "Desolation Angels"), directed by Christopher Fitchett.  

Three pretty high school girls have a deviant plan. Sneak off to Liz's (Marie O'Loughlin) parents seaside cottage, listen to music, paint their nails, talk about orgasms, and imbibe in adult beverages. To their credit, no boys allowed. Jilly (Kim Trengove) is also along, as is Joanne (Kerry Mack). Getting there was not easy. On the way, the trio was terrorized on the road by two hearses. The menacing black vehicles bore the license plate numbers END-666 and HEX-777. The hearses are occupied by rapist perverts Trevor (Nield Schneider), Jerry (Paul Alexander), and Vinny (Jay Mannering). The perverts also spot the babe Pamela (Karen West) driving to the seaside resort. Pamela? In short, she just stole $22,000 and is on the run with the cash (think Janet Leigh from "Psycho"). By chance, Pamela will meet Jilly at the resort, and lesbian sparks will fly. Now Liz cares deeply for Pamela. Relevant?  This is a moot point as the creeps arrive.

One of the thugs breaks into Pamela's cabin and what he does to her will make you wince.  Humiliation, torture, and rape won't be all of it. The other creeps begin terrorizing our three high school girls. The creeps want to rape them and slit their throats.  The frightened girls have no choice but to fight back. Shotguns, spearguns, knives, and fists all come into play.  The gals will take a humiliating beating.  The creeps will also find themselves in a fight fore their lives.  What happens next will be ominous and heartbreaking.  

Will Jilly be able to save Pamela, and continue exploring her sexuality with the adult babe?  Will the three underage lovelies be violated by the fiends in hearses?  Just who will get shot with the speargun and where will they get shot? No part of this film will bring a smile to your face or provide some comic relief.  Brutal.  Prurient.  Disgusting.  A true horror film in the style of "I Spit on Yor Grave." See "Fair Game" and understand the perverted undertone of Australian culture back in the 1980s.

Baba Yaga, Euro-Babe Lured by Lesbian Witch

Ah, Giallo! Euro-Babes, often nude, and in peril. Many die horribly in these films, in states of undress.  In this one, nudity will rule.  So will S&M and bondage imagery.  So will Nationalist Socialist fetish imagery.  So will erotic lesbianism, and nude fashion models in peril. No, not the remake of "The Green Mile," but a prurient Italian horror film.  Let us look at 1973's "Baba Yaga," directed by Corrado Farina.

Valentina (Isabella De Funes) is a fashion photographer who captures sultry fashion models in provocative states of undress or in fetish poses. Hey, it beats an exciting career in electronics. Rebuffing Arno (George Eastman), a hunk filmmaker, she is given a ride home by the mysterious old witch, Baba Yaga (Carroll Baker). Baba Yaga will go on to entrance Valentina and curses Valentina's camera. Now whenever Valentina shoots a model with her camera...yep, the camera might as well be a gun. With models dying or becoming seriously wounded, Valentina realizes Baba Yaga might be otherworldly. Baba Yaga gives Valentina a fetish doll, Annette (Ely Galleani). Initially Annette is a doll in a S&M costume. Annette attacks the sultry model Romina (Daniela Balzaretti). I think Baba Yaga was jealous of Romina.

Okay, Valentina is continually drawn to baba Yaga's old mansion, which has its own portal to Hell in it. In the US, we have feature walls, and subway tile backsplash, in Rome, they have portals to hell. In Baba Yaga's place, Annette becomes a real person. Baba Yaga wants Valentina for carnal pleasure and to bring her to hell with her. Valentina kind of wants that, but the aforementioned Arno is quite the hunk and handsome enough for her to choose men over women. Whipping and torture will result. 

Will Baba Yaga complete her entrancement over Valentina and bring her to Hell as a lesbian lover? Will Annette string up Valentina, rip her clothes off, and whip her into submission? Will Arno be as useless as most Italian men, or will he muster enough guts and go fight for the woman he lusts for? This is an erotic one and I'm sure there is a Rated X version out there. For a steamy good time, see "Baba Yaga" and wince every time a nubile Euro-Babe is whipped while strung up.