The Resurrection of Zachary Wheeler, Transplants, Clones, Mad Scientists, and Angie Dickinson

Whenever you see a Cryogenic Psychologist portrayed in the movies, its always by a babe. Just like Marine Biologists, these scientists, in filmdom, are always hot. Stewardesses, too.  Whether the portrayals are honest ones is of no concern to us, as all we're interested in is babes. Hence Angie Dickinson as a Cryogenic Psychologist! I know what you're asking, "Cryogenics? Isn't that freezing people and then thawing them out?" Right! Any way we have a film where mad scientists do the ungodly, and our hot blonde Cryogenic Psychologist may be the maddest of them all. Let us look at a weird one, 1971's "The Resurrection of Zachary Wheeler," directed by Bob Wynn.

There's a lot in this plot, and we'll not be able to mention most of it. Senator Zachary Wheeler (Bradford Dillman) is fatally injured in a head on auto collision...and set to die. At the scene is investigative reporter Harry Walsh (Leslie Nielsen) who accompanies the dying presidential contender in the ambulance to Bethesda Naval Hospital. A few minutes later Harry is told that Senator Wheeler was never brought in and the staff pretends they don't know what he's talking about. See...the dying senator is flown to New Mexico and a facility run by a Mr. Fielding (Robert J. Wilke).  There he is brought back to health by Doctors Redding (James Daly) and Layle Johnson (Dickinson). How? Transplants. Donors? You won't believe this but this is where the film gets spooky.  Oh, while recovering, Senator Wheeler develops a liking for Layle Johnson...but is she only pretending to like him? 

See, Fielding runs this place. He has a condition and needs transplants often. Donors? Oh, don't worry, this will all be explained in eerie fashion in the film...you'll even meet them and you will be creeped out. The Fielding hospital is run by a Cabal of nine.  They monitor world leaders and when they are getting ready to die, capture them, bring them to the facility, and save them...as long as they will then serve the cabal. Fielding desires to run the world...why? You got me. Oh, our cryogenic psychologist? Dr. Layle Johnson does her best to become the future Mrs. Senator Wheeler. Oh, wait...Harry?  He's on the story and has put two and two together and arrives in New Mexico as Fielding's men try to kill him.  Those donors? See the movie, but I will say, they are major league creepy...and for good reason. You'll see?

Will Dr. Layle Johnson become Mrs. Senator Wheeler, and eventually the First Lady of the United States?  Will Harry break the story of a lifetime or die trying? Will the so-called donors get out of their cells, catch Dr. Layle Johnson, rip her lab coat off, and...wait, never mind.  This question was becoming too prurient.  For a creepy one that raises uncomfortable questions, and may not leave you warm and fuzzy, see "The Resurrection of Zachary Wheeler."   

Killer Rental, Bikini Babes and Hunks Filmed Being Murdered

The magnum opus of Ryan Lucy! Ryan Lucy? A dame...with a guy's name. No matter, she is quite the dish and looks great in a bikini. There will be a lot of babes in this film, all in bikinis, but something about Ms. Lucy...well, she stands out. Wait! There are slashers in this film!  Will the nubile bikini babe avoid being gutted, or chopped up? Today we will look at a weird film, or I should say, a part of this weird film. Skipping the beginning and the end, the middle is where we will dwell. To explain that would give too many spoilers.  Our feature today is the Ryan Lucy spectacular, 2025's "Killer Rental," directed by Ben Hausdorff and Jonathan Kadin.

Chase (Wyatt Hinz), a hunk, and BF of bikini babe Chloe (Mea Wilkerson), rents a remote house way in the desert. Influencer Lauren (Lindsay Arnold) wants to film her social media there for a few days and brings her great looking friends. Also along is her cameraman Aaron (Tyler Lofton), the gay Noah (Matt Mitchell), Chase and Chloe, and her childhood buddy, Mina (Lucy). She films nonstop, or Aaron does. Right away, the six don bikinis or swimsuits and do the pool and liquor. Aaron likes Mina, a lot...as do we. This is trouble as Lauren puts the moves on Aaron, only to be rebuffed. Chloe and Chase engage in deviant pre-marital sex. Mina and Aaron are so cute as they make goo-goo eyes at one another. Lauren is brutally strangled and chopped up.  Wait!  What?  Yep...she's gone early on in this film.  By who?  Why?

Now it gets complicated.  The hunks and babes do not know that there are hidden cameras everywhere.  Everything they do is being captured on video...even the pre-marital sex.  Mina and Aaron  get closer and soon they figure out Lauren is missing. The killer, or killers, then converge on the babes and hunks.  Mina and Chloe make a shocking discovery.  Noah puts the moves on Chase. A nail gun, chainsaw, drill, hatchet, and axe will be wielded by...by...well, you will find out.  Blood and brains splatter, and skulls will be crushed.  

Will Mina survive this, like, is she too beautiful to be torn apart?  Is the killer one of the babes or hunks or something far more dastardly?  Whoever is watching these youngsters on video, does he/she/ or them have special plans for the sultry Mina? This is a gory one and does not follow all the rules of slasher films. The cast is great looking, pure cheesecake and beefcake, and the kills are ominous and gory.  For a slasher film that is a bit different, see "Killer Rental." 

Ape X Mecha Ape: New World Order, Sean Young as the Beast

Oh, my. So sultry she was in the 80s.  "No Way Out," "Blade Runner," or "Wall Street." Sean Young was quite a dish. What happened? I think alcohol and bad decisions.  So here in 2024 she plays Biden's Nat'l Security Advisor and she takes after that weirdo Richard Levine guy. Sean Young plays a guy and is scarier than the big apes and the Cthulhu tentacled thing. Her portrayal is a grim reminder of the idiocy of Biden appointees. No one is pining for the return of Richard Levine and no one is pining for Sean Young to make another movie. Harsh? Ha!  See the movie. Our feature today is 2024's "Ape X Mecha Ape: New World Order," directed by Marc Gottlieb. This film is from The Asylum. 

Abe, the 90-foot gorilla roams a Pacific island after the first film he was in, also from The Asylum. Let's keep this brief. A Cthulhu-tentacled creature comes up from the ocean, destroys a cruise ship, and heads over to Abe's island and beats him up. Okay, in Japan, Asian babe Rio (Jessica DeBonville) gets into the robot ape, the 200-foot-tall Mecha Ape and flies to America to beat up the Cthulhu. Nat'l Security Advisor Eva Lemuria (Young), dressed like a man...and pulling it off (kinda has that Gilbert Godfrey look) is mad at Japan. See, Eva is also a cult leader paving the way for "The Old One" to return and wipe out mankind. A perfect fit for the Biden Administration. Reporterette Naomi (Ashley Dakin) is mad 'cause her parents were on the aforementioned cruise ship. She and her hot assistant, Sara (Bix Krieger) rush to the scene where Abe and Mecha Ape will fight the Cthulhu. Uh oh, Sara realizes they lost a hubcap along the way. Really!

Okay, Abe is out of sorts and attacks Mecha Ape with the hot Japanese babe inside. Mecha Ape shoves Passion flowers in Abe's mouth and he's nice again. Eva yells at the Japanese prime minister who probably had to give a great effort to keep a straight face. In her business suit, Eva recites ancient incantations and does a bunch of useless things. The Asian babe Rio and her Mecha Ape is decimated by the Cthulhu but Rio, wounded, survives. Sara frets over the missing hubcap. Naomi, as with much of the DC press corps, is quite useless.

How easy is it to replace a hubcap on a rental car?  Was Richard Levine really a compelling figure enough to want to base an ape movie around? Just who is "The Old One" and will he be able to help Sean Young get any ounce of her beauty back?  This is one from The Asylum and for that we're grateful. For a good giant ape, without a Fay Wray-type babe, see "Ape X Mecha Ape: New World Order."

Showgirl Murders, Stripper-Psycho

Maria Ford!  Who? Internationally renowned burlesque performer (stripper), actress, and model.  Today we have her magnum opus.  Get this, she choreographed her own routines, for which there will be many. Routines that include fire, a big snake, BDSM costumes, a whip, etc.  It is not easy being an exotic dancer at the same time a choreographer, and killer.  Killer? Yep, pure psycho...at least in this movie.  In real life Maria Ford is a great philanthropist, working for positive change in her community, and an avid recycler of plastic bottles. Let us take a look at the 1996 erotic thriller "Showgirl Murders," directed by Dave Payne. 

Stripper, sorry, exotic dancer, Jessica (Ford) rips off her boyfriend, Crank (Jeffrey Douglas), of his drug dealing profits and runs. Now she is on the run from this psycho and her talents are limited. Thus, she ends up at a strip club begging for a job.  The club is owned by hunk Mitch (Matt Preston), and his dumpy wife Carolyn (D.S. Case). Carolyn wants to send Jessica on her way, but Mitch is aroused and hires her. Jessica's new routines, which are extraordinary in a prurient sort of way, helps the club increase their nightly take enormously. Now Jessica makes the moves on Matt and before you know it, Jessica is trying to get Matt to murder Carolyn. Uh oh...a DEA agent, Sam (Bob McFarland) enters the picture.  He wants Crank and knows Jessica is still in touch with him.

Mitch tries to murder Carolyn...but he is not a killer.  Is Jessica? Duh! In fact, the more we learn about Jessica the more she resembles Michael, or Freddie, or Norman Bates. Jessica's routines get hotter and she even introduces some lesbian themed routines with other strippers...oh, sorry...exotic dancers. Now Crank shows up and he wants his money that Jessica stole.  Now Jessica has a whole bunch of peeps in her life that, in her mind, need killing.  Armed with a whip, blunt instruments, a knife, a gun, Molotov cocktails, and attitude, Jessica decides to take control.

Will anyone in this film be alive as the end credits role?  Is it true that before his death Bob Fosse was going to make this movie until Maria Ford murdered him? Why don't we have more burlesque performers making films today and if we did, would Spielberg's "Disclosure Day" have been watchable?  See "Showgirl Murders" and get your fill of Maria Ford and all her talents.   

Virtually Dead, Italian Gamers in Gaming Hell

Kind of like Giallo...kind of. Italian horror film with some babes in it who are in much peril.  Still, the 1960s and 1970s Euro-Babes were so arousing with miniskirts, go-go boots, or maybe nude. Not today, the babes of today do not know how to be babes.  The movie-makers do not know how to make them into babes. Still, in a movie about gamers, it is nice our filmmaker restrained from giving us Goth-like creatures. Today we look at 2014's "Virtually Dead" (aka "Dead Gamers"), directed by Paolo Bertola.

Robert (Stefano Guerriero) is a nerdy gamer who has invented a bizarre one utilizing Virtual Reality and AI. Yep, he summons his buddies over for dinner, and after dinner, they will play the game. Arriving is the babe Laura (Alessandra Angeli) and her boyfriend Loris (Francesco Testa). Loris hates Robert as he knows the nerd is in love with his girl. Also arriving is the babe/cocaine addict Ellen (Chiara Alivernini) and her boytoy Simon (Alessio Cherubini). Then a fifth-wheel, the thug Mark (Alex Lucchesi), who hates everyone. The friends chow down ignorant that Robert has placed a capsule in their food. The capsule has millions of nanobots in them and takes control of their senses and nervous systems. The guests pass out and now Robert can see their thoughts on his computer. He places them all in some VR world where he can throw zombies at them, but not before arming his buddies with machine guns.

The guests wake in the weird VR world and are irate. They grab their weapons and initially have success felling the zombies attackers. Robert pays special attention to Laura, in the VR world, and also asleep at the dinner table. Then a virus hits and the system's antivirus protection fails. Robert doesn't have control of the game and the attackers are more capable and have the capability to bite and murder. Nazi zombies arrive.  Mark is bitten and begins changing.  Laura struggles to carry her semi-gatling gun around. Then Ellen meets her deceased mother. Robert, in the real world, struggles to figure out how to get control back and pull his buddies back into their bodies at the dinner table.  Then, by accident he figures out a way, but the cure may be as deadly as the zombie onslaught.

Will Robert end up with Laura as he makes sure Loris is eaten by the VR zombies? Will Robert ever get control of the game back or are his buddies forever doomed to the VR zombie-world?  Can Robert do us all a favor and put Ellen and Laura in bikinis instead of the military fatigues he has them in? A techno-thriller which, from Italy, may not have any resemblance to reality in it, but it is fun.  For some neat 21st century Italian horror, see "Virtually Dead."    

Countrycide, Bear Traps and a Babe

Ah, the country! You can have it.  Give me the great indoors, WIFI, and streaming. Nature?  Hiking?  Camping?  I've seen too many movies to desire those.  From Ontario, we have a warning against camping, hiking, and the outdoors.  Our feature today is 2017's Countrycide, directed by Brett Kelly.

So cute! Abby (Robin Hodge) and Mike (Joel Elliott) are boyfriend and girlfriend.  Abby's sister is getting married and they are too broke to take an airplane...thus Mike drives them.  Abby?  Doesn't drive, don't ask. Money for a hotel? No way!  They stop at Ranger Station #5 and meet Ranger Scott (Peter Whitaker) and ask where they can set up tent for the night.  He warns them that no one camps in these woods ever since WIFI and streaming became a thing. The cute couple find a patch of land in the woods and set up a tent.  At night, they build a campfire, discuss the meaning of being boyfriend and girlfriend, and get ready to kiss.  They are so cute...did I mention that? Mike goes to relieve himself in the trees and never comes back.

Abby falls asleep and when she wakes in the morning, no Mike. She goes out to look for him and steps in a beartrap. Happens...at least in the movies.  In real life, these two would have stayed home and used WIFI. Now Abby limps through the woods and is attacked by a wolf before she is saved by three hunters.  Tom (Andrew Galligan), Len (Trevor Payer), and Albert (Lee Cyr) initially look like saviors. Right! Yep, lunatics!  They murdered Mike and want to hunt Abby and then do all sorts of awful things to her when they catch her. They set Abby off into the woods and give her a head start.  Now the trio hunts the wounded dame with rape, torture, and murder in mind. Abby looks like a goner unless she has what it takes to turn herself into a hunter. 

Wild mushrooms! Carnivores, and bad ideas will all occur at such inconvenient times.  The results? Gore and death.  Will Abby become a hunter, and will it be too late?  Are the trio of hunters smart enough to track a dame who can step into a beartrap and not beg for help?  Will Abby make it to her sister's wedding, and if she does, will she be able to dance?  This is a good one.  Low budget, all the way, but Abby is likable and we do pull for her.  For some good beartrap horror, see "Countrycide."

Alien Storm, The Bonfire of the Alien Invasion

If Tom Wolfe had written science fiction, or alien invasion action novels, he would have written this film today.  What we have here is a sci-fi epic from The Mahal Brothers Empire that sort of mirrors Wolfe's "The Bonfire of the Vanities." More importantly we have babes with guns.  We don't have enough socialite-survivalist babes with guns in our films today. Throw in a WWE wrestler, Tom Arnold as the Las Vegas mayor, and Kevin Sorbo as the president, and we have good alien invasion drama. Oh, did I mention the flesh eating zombies?  Funny how those can slip our minds. Let us look at 2026's "Alien Storm," an action-packed alien invasion film filled with biting social commentary with babes in peril, directed by Adam Werth.  BTW, this film comes out on July 21 in digital on Amazon Prime and Apple TV. 

Aliens or demons? I think aliens. They invade and disable major cities around the world. The president (Sorbo) tries to keep America calm, though there is little reason to be calm. In Vegas, Frank McConnely (Robert Standley) and his babe wife, Ophelia (Laura Mason) host a party. Frank's flying car company has just gone public and celebrities, the Detroit Lions, Charles Wright (WWE's Godfather) and other beautiful people assemble to celebrate. Jenna (Elley Ringo) is there to get a statement and pre-marital sex from Mayor Haines (Tom Arnold).  She may want to cover the New England Patriots after this invasion is over. At the party, the guests get word an invasion has gripped Vegas. Frank has a luxurious underground bunker and invites the privileged class to ride out this drama from there. Billie (Elizabeth Chamberlain), Frank's babe daughter, has to find the family dog before she will allow herself to be locked in. How do you think this will go?

Yep, the sultry Ophelia and Frank break out the machineguns and some of the guests decide to take the fight to the creatures, who are now in the mansion. The creatures are mean and shred the guests, then eat them. The shredded guests? Yep, they come back to eat the living.  Could it get worse?  While "The Bonfire of the Vanities" theme is playful and satirical, this film adds some taboo and heartbreak.  It goes from a light, fun horror film to an ominous and terrifying one. Babes with guns are heroic in this but it will be so sad to see some evening gown-clad beauties shredded.  As the survivor pool decreases, the privileged may have found a weakness for these monsters, but is it too late?

Will the lovely Jenna get her pre-marital sex with the mayor, even though she has had to arm herself and turn all killer?  Will the lovely evening gown clad Ophelia get into catfights with female monsters? Will Frank and all his brains that created a flying car company figure out a way out of this?  This is a good one and don't be fooled by an almost comedic introduction of the party goers...it'll get ominous and terrifying real quick. See "Alien Storm" starting next week on Apple TV and Amazon Prime.