Tasmanian Devils, Danica McKellar Has a Flamethrower

She is mean.  She is armed. Armed with a flamethrower and attitude.  She snarls.  She grunts. Then, she pulls the trigger and her flamethrower fires! Soon, the ferocious monster is engulfed in flames. Threat neutralized. Milla Jovovich? Nope. Kate Beckinsale? Nope. The little girl from "The Wonder Years." Winnie, all grown up! She's aged well. You know who else is in this one... Apolo Ohno! Who is he? I don't remember but he used to be someone. He is a rotting corpse in this film, so let's not worry about him anymore. Our feature today is 2013's "Tasmanian Devils," directed by Zach Lipovsky.

Five base jumpers execute a 3000 foot plunge. Uh oh, Apolo Ohno goes 3100 feet and gets impaled by a stalagmite in an underground cavern. His blood reanimates six monsters, toothy Tasmanian Devils. The five other ones are then busted by three Tasmanian Park rangers, which include Alex (McKellar). Uh oh, the monster climb out of the cave and hunt down our humans. Two of the park rangers are eaten immediately. Now Alex must lead the other base jumpers through the Tasmanian wilderness and to safety. This won't be easy as the things attack and shred the humans one by one. Walsh (Terry Chen) builds a flamethrower and Alex chars one of the monsters. War breaks out. The monsters increase their attacks. Alex and base jumper Jayne (Kenneth Mitchell), a guy, get sweet on one another. It's so cute.

The creatures are on the offensive and the humans are trying to run back to the helicopter the base jumpers arrived on. This won't work and ends in an explosion and blood. Now they seek a weather tower. One by one the creatures pick off the humans. One by one, the humans pick off the creatures.  We don't much care for most of the characters, but when Alex uses a flamethrower on one of the critters, we are in love. Like most flamethrowers, sadly, it stops working. Now Alex and the surviving base jumpers must lick their wounds and come up with a better plan. They do, sadly it isn't that much better than their first two.

Will Alex and Jayne live to romance one another?  Is Apolo Ohno as a rotting corpse a metaphor for what happens to people when their 15 minutes of fame ceases? Danica McKellar as a Tasmanian Park Ranger? Seriously? Just go with it. I think I saw this one in 2013 on the Syfy Channel. Believe it or not it has some terrific scenes and however miscast Ms. McKellar is, we do love seeing her as a flamethrower wielding ranger.  See "Tasmanian Devil" and be prepared to be surprised at how much you enjoy this film.  

Queen of Lost Island, Julie Strain and a Big Sword

A big sword, and big...er, a big...smile! Yep, true exploitation from straight to video from the 90s. Some claim Julie Strain ad-libbed her swordplay, which takes up half the runtime in this film. Others insist she was invited to Japan and spent 12 months training and learning from real Samurai warriors. Lucky warriors! The wardrobe department had it easy, as Miss Strain appears as a naked and possessed babe seeking to possess the spirits of sultry swimsuit models and then have orgies with them. No, not a Kate Hudson film, and not a remake of "To Kill a Mockingbird," but 1994's "Queen of Lost Island" (aka "The Devil's Pet," or "Elixir: Queen of Lost Island"), directed by Donald G. Jackson.

Julie (Strain) goes to a South Pacific island to scout it for settings for a fashion/swimsuit shoot. With her is the pervert agent/promoter Damian (Steve Carr). The duo find a small bottle with an ancient elixir and both seem possessed to take a sip. Now Damian is the great evil god Pan, seeking to corrupt nubile babes with sex, and Julie is...well, a naked warrior with a big sword. Now all they need are models to corrupt. Damian summons fashion photographer Kenny (Nicholas Celozzi), and several beautiful, big smiled models. They arrive and Julie swings a mighty sword. Pheromones are rampant and the urge for sex is spread by Pan/Damian. One by one the models are hunted down by Julie or Damian, stripped, forced to drink the potion, then become ravenous sex machines. One of the models, Bobbi (Tina-Desiree Berg) is Kenny's favorite bikini-babe, and she is urged to take her top off. This was an easy endeavor by Kenny.  Then she seduces the photographer.

The other models are easy prey.  Before and after trying to flee in horror, they are caught and forced to drink. Now Pan has a small army of nude models to hunt down Kenny and Bobbi.  We have to stop here and admire how loyal the plot of this film is to the book. Orgies commence.  Lesbian orgies commence.  Julie Strain feels herself up while bathing in a stream...a lot!  Bobbi, even without being possessed, gives Kenny all the deviance he can handle.  Now Bobbi and Kenny realize the danger they are in as the hordes of naked models head their way.

How did you miss this one in 1994?  Is Julie's big sword a metaphor for...for...oh, never mind!  Was this Julie Strain vehicle an attempt by her to be cast as the lead in "The Last Samurai" ( a role eventually given to Tom Cruise)? This is...well...a gratuitous Julie Strain film. Nudity and nudity rule, with some help from deviant pre-marital sex. For an arousing guilty pleasure, see "Queen of Lost Island."  

The Cape Canaveral Monsters, Space Aliens Destroy Rockets

We have a good one today. A great 1950s-type B scifi film that just missed the 1950's.  The 1960 classic, "The Cape Canaveral Monsters" is maybe the best scifi film you have never seen.  Directed by Phil Tucker, and filled with cheese and beef, our feature today has fresh aliens who like to strip nubile Earth girls, and...well, you'll see. 

Two aliens in the form of green floating orbs have arrived, but need bodies. They murder a bathing beauty and Nadja (Katherine Victor) takes her body. Sadly, Hauron (Jason Johnson) murders the swimsuit babe's ugly boyfriend and must take his body. In the murders, The male loses an arm and the aliens keep trying to sew it back on. Sadly, it keeps falling off. Nadja, who is now a babe, is annoyed that her cohort is a one-armed guy with an ugly face...thus she is grouchy throughout the entire film. Hauron and Nadja were sent to Earth to ruin NASA's space program and collect Earth specimens for study...preferably nubile babes. They strip them and beam them up to their world. Hauron also uses some ray gun to shoot down all NASA's rocket launches. Now Nadja makes Hauron get a new face and they find Bob (Gary Travis). Now Nadja wants to suck face with Hauron.

Tim (Scott Peters) and Sally (Linda Connell) are two great looking college kids who work at NASA. They accidentally find the cave the aliens are holed up in. Both will be captured but Tim will escape and believes he has found a weakness for the aliens. Sally is stripped and Nadja wants to beam her up before the now handsome Hauron has his way with her. Tim tries to get help from the cops and the NASA soldiers.  The aliens are waiting for them.

Given Hauron's attraction to nude Earth-babes, will Nadja and Sally engage in a steamy catfight that could include lasers and alien chemicals?  As Nadja is more and more educated in Earth-babe swimsuits and undergarments, will she make herself more appealable to her own kind on her own planet? Oh yeah!  Will earth defeat these two raunchy aliens and be able to go forward with their space program?  This is a fun one and the love story between Sally and Tim blows away "Body Heat" and "Love Story."  For some fine B Movie action from yesteryear, see "The Cape Canaveral Monsters."    

Death Passage, Ghost In Australia

Yep, one from Australia today. Though as the years have gone by Aussie horror has become more mainstream and less identifiable with the Land Down Under. Oz-ploitation seems to be a term for yesteryear. Italian horror is similar, no longer Giallo...sad. Still, we do have a creepy one about a ghost wanting vengeance. Our feature today is 2014's "Death Passage" (aka "Lemon Tree Passage"), directed by David Campbell.

Three great looking vacationing young Americans find themselves at the beach. The sultry Maya (Jessica Tovey) is with the babe Amelia (Pippa Black) and her brother Toby (Tim Pocock). At the beach they meet two fun Aussies, the weird Oscar (Andrew Ryan) and the hunk Geordie (Tim Phillips). Yep, Maya and Geordie fall in love. What could go wrong? The otherworldly, that's what! Seems there is a recent urban legend Oscar lets them in on. If one drives really fast on Lemon Tree Passage Road, a bright light appears behind the car. They have to see for themselves and do it...and guess what. Yep. The bright light? Let's talk about Sam (Nicholas Gunn). He seems to have secrets and some evil forces converging on him. The evil forces try to get him to commit suicide, or order him to "find her." Find who? Okay, whatever that bright light is, it begins tormenting Geordie, Maya, Amelia, and Toby.

Now Maya develops some weird psychic connection with something from the other side. She sees some horrible act of violence against a girl (Piera Shannon). Now Sam, desperate to stay alive, follows orders and heads into the wilderness to look for...well, you'll see. He doesn't find it, it finds him. Now the others drive back to that weird road and try to recreate their feat. Mistake. Now the evil entity turns homicidal and in the weirdest ways, people begin dying. Maya, on the other hand, seems to be beckoned by some spirit and eventually possessed. Sam turns crazy and whatever force is in the woods, Sam wants to kill it. Fat chance. The secrets are revealed and we see what this entity is, or who it was. Maya may be the human vessel that the spirit uses to further its wrath of vengeance.

Will any of these great looking characters survive the bright light of Lemon Tree Passage Road? Will the evil spirit enjoy intimacy with Geordie just as Maya did?  Will Maya be able to break free of the spirit before all her friends are dead? This is a creepy ghost story and its strength is definitely the great looking cast. Perhaps the scares are mild, but we do like looking at the characters in peril. See "Death Passage" and take in a not too surprising, but still satisfying ghost story. 

Killer Fish, Brazil, a Heist, Explosions, a Hurricane, and Piranhas

Lee Majors! Karen Black! Margaux Hemingway! Marisa Berenson! James Franciscus! Powerhouses of the 1970s, movies and TV. Other than the Lee Majors TV show "The Fall Guy," the 1980s sort of left these peeps behind.  Today we look at an action packed heist/disaster/monster movie from 1979 that was partially financed by Lee Majors and his then wife, Farrah Fawcett..."Killer Fish," directed by Antonio Margheriti. Shot in Brazil, it has as antagonists hundreds of thousands toothy menaces we know as piranha.

A heist...and it is beautiful. Robert (Majors) and Kate (Black) lead a team that will rob a vault of emeralds. A diversion? No, not a smoke bomb, or a fire alarm...nope. The buggers blow up a power plant! You gotta love it! Explosions galore. They crack a safe and get away with a fortune in jewels. The heist was financed by Kate's man, Paul (Franciscus). He has a heart condition and Kate tries to give him heart attacks by making passionate love to him. Robert? Kate really loves him, but he falls for the fashion model, Gabrielle (Hemingway). Okay, Ann (Berenson) owns a clothing line and her and her husband Tom (Gary Collins) are there to enjoying a work-honeymoon. Oh! Remember Dan Pastorini? He played under Bum Phillips with the old Houston Oilers...Earl Campbell was on that team. He's one of the gang members. He'll be eaten by piranhas.

See, after getting away with the jewels, as planned, the gang tosses the spoils into a lake by a dam. They don't know Paul has put thousands of piranha in the lake as an extra means of security. So when gang members try to steal the gems, they're eaten. How long after the robbery does it take for the gang to turn on itself? 60 seconds. Kate would like to take the gems and be off with Robert. Robert doesn't trust Kate and has a lot of pre-marital sex with Gabrielle. Now all go try to get the box of gems but a hurricane and tornado destroy the dam and the boat they're on starts sinking in piranha infested water. The boat slowly sinks and Paul figures on betraying everyone by absconding with the gems and leaving everyone else to be eaten by piranhas.  First he has to get them. He seduces Kate to dive in and get them...that's all for the plot in this review.

Will Kate come back up with the gems, or will only her skeleton come up? Will Gabrielle and Kate get into a catfight over the Six-Million Dollar Man?  After Dan Pastorini gets ingested, will terry Bradshaw be recruited into the gang. This one has a lot of action and even works as a disaster film.  The cheesecake factor is top-notch and so is the beefcake factor. For a nice nostalgic look back at the 70s, see "Killer Fish." 

Red Night at Skye's, Zombies, Meth, and Nazis

Zombies, Meth, and Nazi's? To say the least. We have a heist film today.  One of those heist films when the idiots with a perfect plan get more than they bargained for when not all is as it originally seemed. Yep, the idiots are gonna hit a pawn shop with a Meth lab. what could go wrong? Zombies? Sure, but that's not the half of it. Our feature today is 2024's "Red Night at Skye's," directed by Chris Grega.

Cole (Brock Roberts), a good guy, has money problems and jobs are hard to come by. His wife (Julie Layton) is dying of cancer, and a million medical bills are past due. His dad (Bill Moseley) is on some disability, and Cole can't afford to feed his two great kids. Giving in to temptation, he let's his best friend Tom (Skully Shemwell) talk him into hitting a pawn shop. The pawn shop staff has a Meth lab and has millions, and won't call the police if robbed. Tom has a few idiot friends and together with Cole, head over to Skye's Pawn Shop to rob it. All goes wrong...so wrong. A Meth lab? Not just any Meth lab. Doc (John Bratkowski) is the owner and he is also a Nazi mad scientist cut from the same mold as Josef Mengele. He's producing a Meth that turns its users into cannibalistic, ravenous zombies. His plan is to release it in urban centers to clean out the low-class peeps.

During the robbery, Cole and gang get into a shoot-out with the pawn shop staff and flee to the basement...which is a Meth lab and also has cells for the experiments. The experiments? Doc experiments on human subjects turning them into the aforementioned cannibalistic zombies. The creatures are released and set upon Cole and his buddies. Enter Emma (Jackie Kelly). The pretty blonde is one of those experiments, except she reverted back to a real human...she's an aberration.  Emma helps Cole. and together the two try to find a way out. There's more...so much more. Doc has plans and he also may be infinitely more dangerous than any Nazi of the Third Reich.

Will Cole be able to escape and get back to the family that needs him? Will Emma be able to stay human after being a zombie for a short time? Just what is Doc really up to, and what else is in the basement of that pawn shop? The ending is quite ambitious and yes there is something else down there that may be a scourge onto the entire world. For an ambitious heist film with cannibalistic zombie overtones, see "Red Night at Skye's." 

Death Screams, Babes and Hunks Slashed

An 80s slasher film with skinny-dipping, bimbos and hunks having pre-marital sex, a campfire by a lake, and sex on a motorcycle! Yes! Why can't they make films like this anymore? The babes in this one are unbelievable! Movies here in 2026 can't find enough attractive babes, but back in the 80s, they were all over the place and had no qualms about doing skinny-dipping scenes. So, if you really want sultry dames in the throes of peril, see a 1980s slasher film. If not, be a wuss, and go see that new Spielberg monstrosity "Disclosure Day." For a real movie, we can actually enjoy, let us look at 1982's "Death Screams," directed by David Nelson.

As we begin our story, Ted (Larry Sprinkle) and Angie (Penny Miller) are nude and having pre-marital sex on top of a motorcycle. They both get macheted and dumped in the river. They'll float down the river the entire movie, quite poetic actually. Okay, a carnival is in town but before that we meet some sultry babes. Lily (Susan Kiger) is a clerk in a market and desires bigger things. Stop! Don't say it. Ramona (Jennifer Chase) is a bigtime slut who has slept with every man in town. Kathy (Andrea Savio) is a good girl, but sultry. Sandy (Judy Kay) is not such a nice girl but will give us one of the best skinny-dipping scenes in movie history. She'll be macheted during it and will join Ted and Angie in a death float downstream. Poetic! There are more. Okay, Neil (Martin Tucker) is a coach and desires Lily. He'll be decapitated before he can get to her. Sarah (Sharon Alley) will get it on the merry-go-round with an arrow. 

After all that, the movie moves to a campfire by the river. All the babes are looking really good and showing a lot of cleavage, or in some cases nude. The machete wielding killer converges and his goal is to pick off everyone with his machete. Suspects? Oh yes, there is the town mentally challenged brute (Hanns Manship) who has some history with Ramona. Ramona? Being  the slut of all sluts in this film, will there be something special waiting for her? Oh yes, Lily seems to have a backstory that only bores us, but suggests if there is going to be a final girl, she will be it. There will be so many killings and so many babes will be felled by our slasher.

Just who is the killer and why does he seem to dislike skinny-dippers and youngsters engaging in pre-marital sex? Are the floating corpses of Ted, Angie, and eventually Sandy a metaphor for man's inhumanity to man, or for the oppression of women in 20th century America? Just how many actresses can deliver the allure while floating down stream with a slit throat, and naked? Yes, this is a fun one and might have been missed back when a slasher film came out at the theater every week. For great nostalgic fun, see this 80s slasher flick "Death Screams" and see what it was like when beautiful women used to be cast in films.