Bigfoot Breeds, Naked and Jiggly College Babes and Bigfoot

Ah, AI! I challenge you to watch this film and then speak ill of AI. Sultry naked college babes, or sometimes in bikinis, spanking one another, kissing, jumping on trampolines, in hot tubs, in bed together, fighting off slithery leeches while skinny-dipping, and hunting bigfoot.  Did I mention the naked college babes? Oh, bigfoot too.  Yeah, he's in this and he's horny...as are the naked college babes. Today we look at 2026's "Bigfoot Breeds," directed by Felicity Yeung.

The film begins as bigfoot (Benjamin Masters) grabs a college babe skinny-dipper and absolutely rapes the daylights out of her while splashing mud on her.  In a scene right out of the book, one may confuse this movie with Stanley Kubrick's "Barry Lyndon." Enter three college babes, the Asian Jane (Maya Ellison), Betti (Aira Blair), and Tara (Star Carroll). They seek bigfoot as Tara believes it took her Uncle Buck (Eric C. Brogan). Also in search of bigfoot is a flamboyant gay guy, Morbius (Lonny Loveless) who seeks to have bigfoot's child...sadly for him, the cryptid is probably not gay. The trio of babes kiss one another, play spin the bottle, skinny-dip, and hunt bigfoot. Uh oh...bigfoot appears to be taken by Jane. Bigfoot attacks beset babes in town and some are drowned and boiled in hot tubs, or raped. 

I don't believe I'm trying to put forth a plot description.  The scenes when the skinny-dipping babes are beset by slimy leeches all over their naked selves is priceless and gratuitous.  The same trio of babes will also be beset by the yeti up in the mountains as they ski. Morbius breaks out his Twister game in hopes of being impregnated by bigfoot who he has just captured. Babes sunbathe in the nude.  Babes engage in lesbian carnality.  Babes get bigfoot tattoos. Oh, more leeches on naked babe scenes. I could go on and on. Oh, the sultry Asian babe Jane? What happens to her will be some imagery that you will never be able to get out of your brain...eek!

How many of the babes will bigfoot impregnate?  Will the babes necessarily mind being impregnated by bigfoot?  Will leeches sliming and crawling on skinny-dipping babes be a plot device that will catch on and appear in just about every film from here on? This is a gratuitous and alluring film that gives any real man exactly what he wants and is afraid to ask for.  See the AI/real action epic, "Bigfoot Breeds."   

Dead Sea, Bikini Babes in Peril at Sea

In what, so far, is the magnum opus of the lovely Isabel Gravitt, we are treated to a tour-de-force performance, which is mostly in a bikini. Hey, I know its a serious thriller, but a bikini is a bikini, and a gory plot, and peril at sea make for a wonderful recipe. So for some gratuitous action and a gory and ominous plot, 2024's "Dead Sea," directed by Pail Volken, is a surprisingly good ocean thriller.

It begins standard enough, 18-year old Kaya (Gravitt) has just gone through personal tragedy. She goes for a day out with her bestie, Tessa (Genneya Walton). Worry not, they'll both be in bikinis just a few minutes into this movie. Good for them, they meet a couple of hunks, Xander (Koa Tom) and Julian (Garrett Wareing). The quartet go jet skiing and Xander and Kaya get close real fast and smooch...lucky him. Disaster strikes. In the middle of the ocean, Julian pulls a boner and the jet skis collide and sink. Julian is killed instantly, Xander and Tessa are seriously wounded.  With no land in sight, Kaya tries to keep her buddies afloat as the sharks near. Uh oh...the fishing vessel arrives. Kaya is happy, but that won't last long. 

Rey (Alexander Wraith) pulls the trio from the sea and soon will reveal himself to be a murderous menace. Xander, with a head wound will be no help. Rey locks the bikini babes down below and calls Doc (Dean Cameron) on the radio. Yep...Doc arrives with his surgical bag. See, organs on the black-market fetch a lot of dinero. These three great looking youngsters have healthy organs. With Tessa seriously wounded, and Xander first up on the chopping block, Kaya has to act.  What ensues is our bikini babe prepared to kill to protect her friends. She will have a tough task...as Rey is all killer and not charmed by her smooth tanned skin, slender build, and nubile vulnerability.  Not much of a war, you say? Ha! Some nifty death scenes await.

Will Kaya be able to save herself and her buddies?  Can our bikini babe, turned warrior, murder if she has to? However good a friend Tessa is to Kaya, is there a possibility we see the bikini babes in a gratuitous catfight? Okay, that last question was gratuitous and sleazy, worry not, it was auto-correct's fault. See "Dead Sea" and be pleasantly surprised at the terrific thriller this is.

Monster Werewolf, Resurgence Italian Style

"Monster Werewolf"? Wow, must've stayed up all night thinking up that title. Wonder what its about! A werewolf maybe...that's a monster? Okay, in reality, this film is called "Resvrgis." Right, let's go with "Monster Werewolf." It is from Italy and will boast of a monster...well, werewolf, and hot lesbians making out before dying horribly. Oh, those Italians. Catch it on Tubi for some creative dubbing and a babe that sounds just like Steve Urkel. Actually, the plot is interesting and the ending is most interesting. Yes, there is a catfight you will want to see.  Let us take a look at this 2023 film, directed by Francesco Carnesecchi.

A couple of years ago, Sara (Ludovica Martino) is high on cocaine and driving her buddies. In the back is lesbian babe Miri (Beatrice Fiorentini), making out with her lesbian lover. Sara gets in a head-on collision and Miri's lover is killed. Others may have been killed too. Two years later and Sara is out of prison and wearing an ankle bracelet. Bad idea...Sara's bestie Gaia (Blu Yashimi) arranges a hunting trip into the Italian mountains. Sara has not spoken to Miri since the fateful crash...and Miri hates her. Gaia is now married to Geppi (Thomas Santu), and his buddy Rino (Daniele Mariani) is with them. Oh, also with them is Miri's new lesbian lover, the sultry blonde Tea (Beatrice Modica). Yep, they'll suck face a lot. The gang will hunt wild boars with shotguns.  What could go wrong? Italians with guns? Might have been nice if they used them in World War 2...but never mind that.

Uh oh...Sara finds a diary dating back to World War 1. A deserter writes of the horror of war and changing into a monster. Uh oh, again...Sara finds a wolf mask on a ruined statue in the woods. Uh oh again...Miri wants to fight Sara, and Miri bickers with Tea.  Miri is the one with the voice of Steve Urkel. Then the werewolf attacks...it is after all...a monster werewolf. One by one, it picks off the hunters. Sara reads the diary some more and develops a weird attachment to the deserter...who we only assume died. But wait...the creature appears and it is a full blown werewolf. Now the thing wants its mask back.  Miri wants to kill it.  Geppi wants to ambush it. Sara?  Well, Sara has something going on inside her head and she is coming to grips with her guilt and ensuing weakness of being weak and apologetic.

Is Miri's hostility toward Sara merely masked lust?  Okay, probably not. Is this film a metaphor for Italy's poor military prowess at the hands of bloodthirsty enemies throughout history?  Will Miri have any chance against Sara, and her coming resurgence, in a catfight?  The dubbing may ruin it for some, but if you can get beyond Steve Urkel invading your werewolf film, "Monster Werewolf" is a neat movie. 

The Mummy and the Curse of the Jackals, Ancient Egypt Meets Vegas

Finally, the greatest monster rivalry of all time! Yep, a rivalry born almost 5,000 years ago. Today we have a movie that explains it all. Don't laugh when you see the Jackal Man...it doesn't laugh at you.  Those who do laugh at Jackal Man don't live to laugh again. Back in 1969, no filmmaker was conscience of cultural appropriation. In our film today, director Oliver Drake was very aware, thus had the ancient Egyptian mummy portrayed by actor Saul Goldsmith, a true teen idol in Cairo. Our feature today is 1969's "The Mummy and the Curse of the Jackals."

A plane crash is the fortune of dumpster diver/anthropology professor David (Anthony Eisley). He scavenges the wreck and comes away with two weird sarcophagus.' One is a beautiful Egyptian babe, Princess Ankana (Marliza Pos). David assumes she is dead, though the glass top of the sarcophagus shows her to be preserved nicely. The other sarcophagus contains her forbidden lover , now a decrepit smelly mummy (Goldsmith). David translates a curse, yep...whoever is in the presence of these sarcophagus things will be stricken with the curse of the jackals. David, kind of doesn't believe it and has his buddy Bob (Robert Allen Browne) and his model GF Donna (Maurine Dawson) lock him in the cellar with these things overnight. David figures if he stays overnight with these Egyptians, he can disprove the curse. The things, by the way, are hidden in his basement. The night comes and David turns into jackal man.

Jackal Man kills some cops and chases a drunk. David wakes up and does not remember turning into Jackal Man. Uh oh...Ankana wakes up and is thrilled to be in Vegas instead of ancient Egypt. Now David dresses her in modern clothes and brings her on a double date with Bob and Donna.  Ankana captivates and entrances. Uh oh...Ankana's smelly lover wakes up and leaves his sarcophagus. It wants Ankana and is a jealous mummy.  The mummy will meet showgirls and strippers and murder them. Now midnight arrives, and during the date, David turns into Jackal Man in time for the arrival of the smelly, misogynistic mummy. What happens next will shock you. Oh!  I forgot to mention, John Carradine!  He's in this.

Is there a catfight brewing between the blonde Vegas modal Donna and Ankana? Will Jackal Man and the mummy engage in a smelly fight to the death? Just what does John Carradine, who is big in Egypt to this day, add to the plot? This is a good one, and remember...do not laugh when Jackal Man appears. That would be a cultural slur against the fine people of Egypt that still fear this aberration of nature. See "The Mummy and the Curse of the Jackals," and don't even think of laughing at Jackal Man.

Spasms, Big Snake Finds Babes

It is a good thing that it did.  The bikini babes, and nude blonde in the shower give this one some merit.  Peter Fonda, Oliver Reed, and the grouchy leading lady certainly do not. The monster snake? When the f/x people mail in their effort...sad. Today we have what appears to be a made-for-TV movie, but isn't. A high death count and some thrown in scenes of nudity and various babe sin peril highlight 1983's "Spasms," directed by William Fruet.

In a remote island in Micronesia, billionaire Jason (Reed) is almost killed and left paralyzed in a hunting expedition for a god snake. His brother is killed, and now his ravishing niece, Suzanne (Kerrie Keane) lives with him at his mansion. Another expedition captures the snake and sends it to the US, as contracted by Jason. Uh oh...Jason has a telepathic relationship with the big serpent, and hires Thomas (Peter Fonda), an ESP  researcher, to study it and figure out why Jason can see what the snake sees when the snake kills. Of note, a snake cult also seeks this snake. Sadly the cult is mostly a red herring and of only significance when it botches a theft and setting the snake is loose in southern California. I know, we are cheering for the snake. Jason makes no progress but the two babes in his lab will eventually be murdered by the thing.

Allison (Laurie J. Brown), a lab tech in Thomas' lab, is followed home by the snake and grabbed by the snake, and thrown into the shower with the naked babe Sharon (Sandra Awalt). The scene is priceless. The snake also converges on a bikini babe (Moira Shone), but allows her to live. Suzanne yells at people and we do hope she gets it. Thomas romances Suzanne, but for the life of us, we don't know why...maybe he likes to get yelled at.  The snake cult does nothing of any significance, and Jason goes into trances and watches nude or scantily clad babes as the snake nears them. The cops yell at Jason and ask him to tell them where the snake is.  Suzanne yells some more, and Thomas keeps trying to get in her pants. Maybe he surmises that all Suzanne needs is a good...recreational outlet.

Will there be a showdown between Jason and the snake?  Will Suzanne be clobbered in a catfight by the surviving babe in the white bikini (see above pic)? Does Oliver Reed have a Freudian hang-up about big snakes, as he would also star in "Venom" with Susan George, who plays a kinky French maid? Sadly, "Spasms" works on a MST3K level, but for some good cheese, a grouchy leading lady, and wooden performances by Fonda and Reed, see this film. 

Tropical Parasite, Sultry and Nude Asian Babes in Peril

Sometimes they have some nice bikinis on...usually they are just nude. Asian babes. Thai? Indonesian? Filipino? Doesn't matter. Sadly, these babes are in peril from slithery parasites that slither all over their shiny tanned skin, or infest their innards. When its not parasites that are troubling them, its probing tentacles form sea creatures that would even make HP Lovecraft blush. No, not a story from Jane Austen but some imaginative deviance from Jared Masters. Our feature today is "Tropical Parasite." Okay, AI is used in this one, but Mr. Master's use of AI is better than any Stanley Kubrick film that doesn't use AI.

As our film begins, Asian babe Orange (Ryza Mae) wades in the surf. She is trying to get the attention of her beau Leo (Masters). Instead, parasites bore into her and infest all her organs. Such an erotic death. Leo is a treasure hunter and is in The Philippines to seek treasure.  Uh oh, he has caught the eye of Zun (Jassmin Roxas), a creature that can take human form, and what human form she can take! Total Asian babe! Mermaid! Leo falls in love with her. Zun has a problem, the goddess of the sea, another naked Asian babe Arisara (Althea Lacson) rules Zun and her equally nude and beautiful sisters. She will not let them fall in love with humans. Leo has another problem, the Filipino authorities are corrupt and do not want him looting the country's treasures.

A chase scene ensues and half of Manila goes up in flames...TYSM AI! It may have been AI, but more exciting than anything in "Avatar" or "The Devil Wears Prada 2." Anyway, more naked Asian babes in the sea...in Leo's bed...washing dishes...on the phone...or being infested with little slithery creatures in the surf. Leo is right out of a Film Noir film and his cynicism and eye for trouble does not prevent him from engaging in pre-marital sex with human or sea creature. Okay, Arisara gets stronger and the babe will manifest tentacles that will provide difficulty for the more nubile of sea creatures, or the mermaid things. Leo must act and that means a confrontation with the great tentacled beauty.

I know what your asking, is this film a reimaging of the Guy de Maupassant story "Flowers for Emily"? The de Maupassant influence runs through the works of Jared Masters, except Masters utilizes naked Asian babes a lot better...as de Maupassant merely objectifies the Asian babes. In any sense, face it, you want naked Asian babes jiggling around, in the surf, or in the kitchen, so do yourself a favor and see "Tropical Parasite" on either Fawesome or Plex streaming services.      

The Night Digger, Spinster Horror

They're all lunatics!  Every last one of them.  Yep, there is one who is more of a lunatic than the rest.  Hence a horror film from England.  But wait...and you'll have to.  If it is a horror film you are looking for, you'll have to wait a bit through the tortured plot. Tortured?  Uncomfortable, maybe.  Awkward, have you. Anyway, when we look for final girls we don't look for the middle-aged Patricia Neal. Let us look at a horror film that will make you squirm...for various reasons.  Our feature today is 1971's "The Night Digger," directed by Alastair Reid, and music composed by a Hitchcock favorite, Bernard Herrmann, and co-written by Roald Dahl.

Maura, having survived an aneurism, is a hobbling spinster. She works two hours a week helping stroke victims at the hospital, and she does it well. The hospital wants her full time and Maura desires this except...well...her real job is 24/7 taking care of her blind, invalid mother Edith (Pamela Brown). Edith is demanding and enjoys having Maura serve her all day.  Edith reminds Maura that she has taken care of her for years and now its Maura's turn. They two old women live in a cavernous and falling apart mansion that needs total maintenance. Thy will take in a boarder, but when a guy recommended at church falls through, the handsome stud Billy (Nicholas Clay) shows up with his motorcycle. Billy? All he wants is room and board in exchange for fixing up the mansion for free. Edith is all for it, Maura is skeptical. Edith makes all decisions and gives Billy Maura's pristine bedroom, and now Maura can move to a cot next to Edith's room.

Okay...so here comes another plot device...the priest (Peter Sallis) is going to have his tally-whacker cut off because he wants to be a woman.  The magnanimous guy that he is, he will give it to his wife (Yootha Joyce) so the doctors can sew it onto her and she can become a man. Let's not dwell on this point and get back to Billy, Maura, and Edith. Maura begins to get a crush on Billy, but Billy is not into women 30 years older...not yet. Edith sees Maura getting attached to Billy and now sees Billy as competing for Maura's attention...and wants him gone. They bring Billy to church and Billy sees the sultry Mary (Diana Patrick). What follows are numerous ominous rapes and murders.  The scenes are drawn out and heartbreaking.  Apparently Billy has a problem with sultry babes...so naturally he...well...you know.  You think you know what follows? Ha! It won't be easy to watch, I assure you.

Will Maura and Edith figure out they have a veritable Ted Bundy under their roof?  If they do figure it out, will they necessarily want him gone?  Will Billy's proclivity to rape and murder babes make him more attractive to the spinster Maura?  This is a weird quirky one, and again, I caution you the rape, torture, and murder scenes are hard to take.  For a nasty one with excellent performances, especially by Patricia Neal, that will leave  you in need of a shower to get the grime off, see "The Night Digger."