Friday, February 26, 2021

Knightmare, Five Year Reunion Massacre

Why not a knight in shining armor? Slasher films can get away with a lot as long as hunks and babes die in imaginative ways. This one will have so many hunks and babes and you, at home, can argue which is the sexiest. Those that love trashy will love Krista (Kimberly Magness). For those who like a literary aspect to their babe...Rebecca (Elizabeth Diaz). You gals...Matt (Ryan Shank) and his pecs will do. That's just the the cheesecake and beefcake assemble five years after graduating high school, a knight in shining armor will join them with a twisted and bloody plan. Hence, 2014's "Knightmare" (directed by Anthony Palma).

After high school, Rebecca wrote a bestseller about her buddies. Her buddies didn't appreciate how they were portrayed. Hence the beautiful Rebecca and her new hunk, Matt, plan a reunion, as Rebecca wants to apologize. Matt seems to have taken his portrayal in stride. All the buddies are hunks and babes. Krista (Kimberly Magness) has always been lusting for Matt and Rebecca's proclivity for pre-marital sex with Matt makes her competitive. The reunion at an isolated cabin in the woods is filled with alcohol, pre-marital sex, drugs, and loud well as stupid party games. Thankfully, the murders begin. Heather (Jessica Ritacco) will be the first to go as the knight will roll a car over her head.

Strangulation and a jagged bong glass will eliminate the stoners. Then the knight resorts to his sword and the death of the really hot Julie (Julie Ek) and her husband Rich (Tyler Christie) will be heartbreaking. Oh yeah, you won't believe what Julie says to the knight before being skewered...either did the knight. The uber hot Krista will have an opportunity at deathbed philosophy as her logic before...well, you'll see...will be priceless. Don't get too attached to anyone, a mistake I made with Amy (Kylee Campbell) sad.  As Sir Slashalot goes through hunks and babes like crap through a goose, Rebecca comes up with a hair-brained plan...but it is crazy enough to work.

Will Rebecca and her fellow survivors be able to turn the tables on our slashing knight? Did anyone else go to a high school where everyone was sultry or beefy? Since Krista is the sluttiest character, will her demise be the most memorable? The cheesecake and beefcake are optimal here, and the kills are wonderful. Sure, some pre-death one-liners will have you in hysterics, still this is a fine slasher film. For some gore, pre-marital sex, and alluring characters...see "Knightmare." 

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Ravage, Nature Photographer vs. Inbred Torture Cult

Okay...inbred torture cult may be a little harsh...just a little.  Bruce Dern will expound on the proper terminology just before he is drugged and has his face blown off by the pretty nature photographer. Happens.  Still...on the basest level, our damsel is put in much distress by these torture fiends. Oh! Our damsel? Hardly a damsel. She is pretty versed on homicide and torture herself. Confused? Let us take a look at 2019's "Ravage," directed by Teddy Grennan.

Pretty Harper (Annabelle Dexter-Jones) is shooting pictures in the woods of rural Virginia. Uh oh...she sees something she isn't supposed to, of the torture/homicide variety. Now the family that owns the land (billions and billions of acres) is after her. With the help form their kinfolk in the sheriff's department...they catch her. They'll sexually molest her and string her up for torture.  Harper is a bit of a survivalist and she isn't happy. She'll free herself and run away. Not to escape...but to regroup and hunt her tormentors. Ravener (Robert Longstreet) is the patriarch of this torture family and he sends his kids out to retrieve the blonde babe that invaded his land.

Too bad for the torture kids...she finds them first. Decapitation and other booby traps will annihilate the inbreeds. She doesn't get them all. She'll meet Bruce Dern, also part of the family. He'll wish she never stepped foot in his house. Harper goes through the inbreeds like crap through a goose, but Ravener is one step ahead. guessed it. There will be a final confrontation between Ravener and the pretty Harper. What happens then? You won't believe it. The ending will make you squirm and maybe yell at the silver screen. Disgusting and revolting are two words that come to mind. Total amazement will envelope you as the end credits roll.

Just who will prevail in the final confrontation...Harper or Ravener?  What surprises does Ravener have waiting after Harper after she takes apart his children? Is this film a thinly veiled metaphor for the ruination of Virginia that has occurred over the past 20 years?  You will not have seen an ending like this one, and you may not like it. Still, catch "Ravage," it is something a bit different and grotesque.

Monday, February 22, 2021

The Nude Vampire, Psychedelic Erotica

Psychedelic Erotica? A term inserted to make me look brilliant. Think Deviant Euro-Trash! Think nubile women nude and subject to torment and torture. Think mad scientists experimenting on these women. Euro-Babes in much peril from mad scientists. We do have to talk about the twins, Catherine and Marie-Pierre Castel. This duo plays servants clad in weird metallic uniforms, or nothing, or a string of plastic circles that jangle when they move. Hey, its a Jean Rollin film, 1970's "The Nude Vampire."

The plot won't help you, but let us try. A weird cult is based in a weird laboratory. The members wear animal masks and commit suicide. The cult is run by Georges Radamante (Maurice Lemaitre). His son, the hunk Pierre (Olivier Rollin), is curious and spies on them. One day a Euro-Babe (Caroline Cartier) gets loose wearing nothing but a see through negligee. He tries to help her but the cult members shoot her dead...or so Pierre thinks. Pierre questions his dad but gets no answers. Meanwhile, the two topless servants (the Castel twins) keep bringing him drinks. These two do the same for Georges...and also satisfy him sexually. Oh yes, the Euro-Babe is far from dead.

See, every meeting, a cult member commits suicide and the Euro-Babe is brought in to drink the corpse's blood. The cult believes she is a vampire. One night Pierre sneaks into one of the cult's ritual and sees the not dead Euro-Babe. He's in love with her and she seems favorably inclined to him. He'll try to help her escape...but he won't be successful. Now his dad levels with him and we find out the Euro-Babe may be a vampire. Georges wants to study her and learn the secret of immortality. Pierre wants...well, wants her. The twins are not who they appear...but always kinky and alluring...if not strange. Uh oh...someone or something else is coming for the vampire Euro-Babe and Georges is terrified of them.

Get it?  I thought not. Still, those two twins who sometimes wear only jangly circles are worth the price of admission. Will Pierre end up with the Euro-Babe/maybe vampire? How about the twins...are they even human? What exactly does Georges, his cult, and his laboratory figure on doing with the vampire research they are accumulating? Don't dismiss this film as Jean Rollin has prioritized the eroticism...and he does it well. Weird but alluring, "The Nude Vampire" is a French film you will want to see.

To see this film free on YouTube, check out Ed Bell's YouTube channel FORGOTTEN HORRORS and click on this link: THE NUDE VAMPIRE 

Saturday, February 20, 2021

Werewolf Woman, That Time of Month Again

In a thinly veiled metaphor for PMS, we have a neat werewolf film from Italy. Yep, a full moon comes once a month and so does...well, changing into a wolf-woman. However beautiful and effervescent a dame might appear, that time of month arrives and everything changes. She changes...into a...wolf-woman. Hence we take a look at 1976's "Werewolf Woman," directed by Rino Di Silvestro. Incidentally, to view this film free on DARK MATTER TV click on this link WEREWOLF WOMAN .

Daniela (Annik Borel) has some mental problems...she's a nutcase, in fact. She believes she becomes a werewolf during the full moon. Does she? An ancestor was a werewolf woman and Daniela believes herself to be the reincarnation of that same ancestor. The nubile babe also was viciously raped as a child and now has a phobia of sex. When her beautiful sister, Elena (Dagmar Lassander) brings her American husband, Fabian (Osvaldo Ruggieri), home, Daniela is all hot for him. After being raped by a lizard, Daniela watches Elena and Fabian having passionate sex. She then lures Fabian outside, attacks him, and bites his throat out. Now Daniela is sent to an asylum for the criminally insane.

Daniela escapes after biting the throat out of a nymphomaniac babe-patient who tried to rape her. The lunatic beauty, believing she is wolf-like, then attacks a nubile farm babe just after she had passionate sex in the hay. She'll attack and murder more men who try to take advantage of her before meeting the love of her life...a stuntman (Howard Ross). The two will frolic and have pre-marital sex. Werewolf women rarely find happiness and her life is about to get even more violent and homicidal. Now the police are following the trail of ripped apart bodies and getting closer to our she-wolf.

What was that earlier comment above about being raped by a lizard? Is Daniela a warning to us men to really get to know a woman before jumping in the sack with them? Are PMS and lycanthropy one in the same? A sexually charged werewolf story from Italy...yes! Euro-babes will die horribly, and so will some Euro-hunks. For a steamy and graphic good time in which your prurient interests will be aroused, see "Werewolf Woman."  

Thursday, February 18, 2021

The Galaxy Invader, Rubber Suited Alien in Maryland

Don Dohler, our favorite Maryland filmmaker, is no longer with us. Fortunately his films endure. Mr. Dohler's style of filmmaking seems to be getting his pals together, going out and having a good time, and shooting science fiction stuff. Forget CGI when watching one of these movies, though drinking scenes at local watering holes are a staple. With plenty of cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon as props, we look at 1985's "The Galaxy Invader."

An alien ship crash lands in Maryland. David (Greg Dohler) sees it and summons his old mentor, Professor Tracy (Richard Dyszel). In the mean time, the brute Joe (Richard Ruxton) finds out about it and summons the town crime lord, Frank (Don Leifert). Frank and Joe put a posse together and seek to capture and exploit the alien for money. Meanwhile a drunk Joe belts his family silly. The posse goes out one night and engage the alien in a shootout, losing a couple of men. Frank and Joe capture it and shove it in Joe's basement. The thing appears friendly and David and Tracy sneak in and free it. Joe will murder Tracy as they all flee.

Now Joe and Frank desire to get it back and Joe's family tries to save the alien from further bondage. Joe drinks more Pabst, abuses his wife and kids, and tries to rape Frank's dame, Vickie (Theresa Harold). Meanwhile the alien is on the run but when his helpers are endangered by the drunk Joe, it backtracks to help them out. More shootouts and heartbreak as the alien reveals itself to be a friend to the beset earthlings.

Cheesy and perhaps a level below a B movie, this film is a lot of fun. Will the alien survive Joe's wrath or suffer a similar fate as King Kong at the hand of human exploiters? Is the carnage and tragedy captured in this science fiction tale a metaphor for the demise of Maryland over the past 40 years? B movie fans will love "The Galaxy Invader," and its rubber suited alien (Glenn Barnes). For a great creature feature viewing experience, especially if you are from Maryland, see "The Galaxy Invader."

To see this film free on Dark Matter TV, click this link: THE GALAXY INVADER      

Wednesday, February 17, 2021

Interview of Daniel Salmi, Moviemaker of "Elora"

An epic featuring Viking women and perhaps some warfare and a monster or two. Yes! It is coming. Film maker Daniel Salmi, from Sweden, is behind this epic. Today I interview the Swedish moviemaker regarding this project, the film "Elora." 

CJZ: Sweden in the time of Vikings! Men were men and swords were rampant. Women? Can you tell us about the women protagonists in your upcoming film, "Elora"?

Mr. Salmi: Sweden in the Viking age was manly dominant, but there are several grave mounds found all over Scandinavia with females who seemingly had remarkably high stature. They were buried like men, with swords and other articles of war.  Women had a high position in the society and women were often the head of the farm. You could see this as they were sort of like gatekeepers with a key tied to their belt. This was a token of that high stature. Some were also shield maidens and a big part of war. 

CJZ: The Casting so far looks wonderful. I noticed two lovely actresses (Emelie Dahlskog and Natasha Trager) have signed on. They look like they could be cheerleaders. In fact, I'm guessing they will be tough and alluring...can you talk about these two actresses and what they'll be asked to do?

Mr. Salmi:  We cast Emelie (pictured above) in summer of 2020 and Natasha in the fall of 2020. Both of their characters have an arc.  Maybe Emelie's is greater.  Natasha has the main part as Elora, which the story is about.  She is a young girl, early 20s, and is in the beginning of the story pretty much an ordinary girl with knowledge about the near vicinity of her village.  This changes when her little brother is taken.  But this story becomes larger than just the taking of her brother.  Natasha is a bubbly young woman with a lot of energy, and something I find interesting with her is her background in ballet and stage acting.

Emelie's character, Sigun is important for the story.  She brings people together and she suffers a lot when we first see her.  She has a great arc and maybe  she gets redemption in the end.  Emelie  is a genuine badass.  We had to shoot her scenes for the pilot in September because she needed to attend her film school in the UK.  We filmed in a 500 year-old wild wood and she had to do some running and jump over a fallen tree.  She tripped and wend down in a pile of rocks and branches.  When we checked if she was okay, she just stood up and brushed dirt off her and walked up to reset the scene.  She also got very wet and cold when we filmed at the marsh.  She never complained.  Emelie is experienced and her latest project  "The Redneg" (2021) received four awards at the Las Vegas Film Festival.  She was also  in the Swedish movie "Borg vs. McEnroe" (2017) with Shia Labouf (McEnroe), a small part but still...

CJZ: The effects have already begun, as has concept art.  You have very definite ideas about the plot of "Elora" and what you would like to get across.  When was "Elora" first born in your mind as an idea for an epic?

Mr. Salmi: I have had the seed of the idea in my head for several years, but it first got on paper in a synopsis in the fall of 2018.  I had an accident later and got an infection.  The had to take my right foot in March of 2019.  I also got an infection after surgery, so it took a lot longer than it was suppose to.  With the pandemic they shut down my rehab.  I had a lot of time at home to write.  The script has had plenty of rewrites, but as of September last year we feel content that this is the script we are going to shoot in the long run.  Later, producers Lotta Forsberg and Elin Gustafsson came aboard.  They are invested in this as I am.  They will also be portraying characters in the film.  They have both been seen in various productions in both Sweden film and TV.  Elin is also a stuntwoman. 

CJZ:  A fantasy film from the time of the Vikings! This is just too good to be true! Will we see violence, romance, and intrigue?  The fantasy tag also conjures up imagery of magic and about monsters and sorcery?

Mr. Salmi:  Probably most of those things.  Maybe not very much romance.  This movie will be gritty, bloody, violent and we want to depict the Viking age as close as we possibly can.  This story has fantasy elements.  A sorcerer and a witch you absolutely can tick a box off...maybe also a huge troll.  The presence of evil will be prominent.  

CJZ:  I've seen the costumes, props, and green screen preparation for "Elora." This film already looks genuine and big-budget.  Your production people seem to have gotten a big head start.  Is your production team, and you, students of Sweden's history and lore?

Mr. Salmi:  Big budget is a no, haha.  I am probably the props and costume department myself right now.  Everything you see is made by me for the most part.  Some stuff is bought.  Emelie's dress for example.  And some armor you will see later.  I have mostly paid for this stuff out of my own pocket.  We find a lot in flea markets we can "Viking-up," and some is sewn by me.  When our concept artist, Alexandra Walsh ( @walshtheartist ) came aboard, lots of things got easier.  We have something to go on.  We have people around us with knowledge of Viking history we can ask things through.  But we are all interested in Sweden's lore and history.

CJZ:  As the COVID restrictions begin to wane and vaccines are poised to hit the mass populations, are you optimistic for a 2022 release?

Mr. Salmi:  COVID has pushed us back several times for the pilot/trailer shoot.  We are aiming for early this spring, but we feel that we cannot count on the fact that we can shoot.  Hopefully though.  The feature was aimed for a 2023 release, but that has gotten looser and looser.  We are still early in pre-production most things are a question of money, which we do not have a pile of and no big production company behind us.  But this film will be made.  If anything, I'm bullheaded, haha.

CJZ:  The plot and scenery from "Elora" seems perfect for for board games or merchandising.  In your crowdfunding effort, will there be "Elora" merchandise available to potential donors?

Mr. Salmi:  I have thought a lot about that.  It sure could be fun with board games and such, but it is a great cost to produce.  Some merch will definitely see the light of day, but 'when' is the question.  We thought about having prints of Alexandra's artwork.  This is one of the things we discuss right now.  Also, a map print of the fantasy country our characters live in.  Tee shirts and hats may also come up in the longer run.

CJZ:  Will the filming be in Stockholm or 'on location'?  Will Swedish winters assist in the filming or are you waiting for the spring and summer months?

Mr. Salmi:  The pilot will probably be shot entirely in the Stockholm area, but the feature will be mostly filmed in my hometown about two hours north.  We have a wonderful nature here you don't really get in the big city and it is easier here.  The answer is 'on location.'  I am old school and want to do as much as I can in the camera.  We have a rebuilt Viking town/farm here.  It is built on the site of a Viking farm from the 10th century.  This place will portray Elora's home.

CJZ: As far as social media and crowdfunding, where can people learn more, and become part of the production of "Elora"?

Mr. Salmi: We have a website , it is only in Swedish right now but we are working on translation.

The most important though is our GoFundMe page at Elora, Go Fund Me 

We are of course on Twitter too and try to update as much as we can ( @elorathemovie )

My email is for business purposes.

Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Gargoyles, Reptile Demons Seek Sultry Dame

Our film today first appeared in 1972 on the New CBS Tuesday Night Movies. I know...not the moniker for 'shocking horror.' Okay, but get this...the first film to feature Stan Winston's creature f/x. "Gargoyles" may have been a made for TV movie, but it is far better than anything DC or Marvel have offered us. Throw in a sultry damsel, who wears bikini tops nicely, and hints at the future "Alien" franchise. Directed by Bill Norton, "Gargoyles" also features Bernie Casey as the king gargoyle.

The perky, bikini top-clad Diana (Jennifer Salt) meets her dad, Mercer (Cornel Wilde), at the Texas-Mexican border. Mercer is a professor in ancient demons and Diana also digs demons. This will change...and soon. They drive to see Uncle Willie's (Woody Chambliss) desert museum. Woody shows them a skeleton of a gargoyle. Initially skeptical, Diana and Mercer will become believers when a swarm of gargoyles swoop down and kill Woody. Mercer and Diana get away with the skull and are chased by the gargoyle horde. Now holed up in a cheap motel, the gargoyles raid their room and take the skull back. Not all is lost, a junior gargoyle is killed during the getaway and Mercer takes the corpse...bad move.

Now a biker gang headed by James (Scott Glenn) is blamed for Woody's murder. Diana will try to convince the cops of their innocence. Before she can do that she is abducted by the king gargoyle and brought back to their lair. Now the cops, James, and Mercer form a posse to find Diana. Uh oh...the alpha-gargoyle likes Diana and her bikini tops.  Imagine this, the wife-gargoyle is getting jealous. Uh oh again...thousands of gargoyle eggs are ready to hatch. As alpha-gargoyle courts the nubile and perky Diana, the humans approach and war is in the air.

Just what does the alpha-gargoyle plan to do with Diana? Okay, dumb question. Will wife gargoyle and Diana enter into a cross-species cat-fight? What will happen to the human race if all the gargoyle eggs hatch? This is a good one. It was so nice to see a made-for-TV film not about so-called racism or supposed environmental woes. Maybe if the major networks actually think about what the masses in their audiences actually want, we can have more films like "Gargoyles."