Grizzly Attack, Bear vs. Grouches

Go bear! Yep, another one in which we are rooting for the creature.  In this gritty realistic horror flick, a monster grizzly bear terrorizes a campsite in...the United Kingdom! Just go with it.  In a film that makes us pine for the days of MST3K with Joel and the 'bots, we have the most unlikable characters and a CGI bear. There will be honey.  There will be paint.  There will be bickering.  There will be kerosene and grief. Let us look at 2026's "Grizzly Attack," directed by Peter Borak.

A family grieves the loss of dad. After a few minutes we realize dad was lucky to die in order to get away from this family. Margaret (Jodyanne Richardson) is the mom. She has this look on her face that we just want to smack. Anna (Holly Mae Jackson) is the teen daughter that shows us all why young men have stopped dating in favor of porn. Then there is son David (Jack Hyde). He yells a lot. Then there is son Ethan, who is really stupid and we pray he gets eaten first. Yep, this family heads to the woods to stay in a cabin and remember dad. They bicker the entire time. Then the bear show up.

The bear is a grizzly and has a soft moan and even the CGI can't make it look scary. Our fear is that it may lose interest in this family and let them live. Fortunately the bear does attack and one by one eats these grouches. I will say there is a fiery death scene that really does warm out hearts. Plans for survival? They come up with them. What they are is a mystery and won't work. The bear keeps coming back . Anna keeps waxing poetic and lets us know the cabin smells of old firewood and regret. Later she lets us know it smells like grief and kerosene. Hopefully, Anna smells like dinner for the bear.

Do any of these family members survive the wrath of the CGI bear...and should they? Will Anna give her nose a rest and actually try to figure out some plan that has some level of intelligence behind it? Will the bear wipe the mom's stupid grin off her face, or wipe the entire face off? This is a fun one in a MST3K type of way. Hey, it's better than anything Harrison Ford has done over the past 40 years. See "Grizzly Attack," and cheer at the carnage.  

Come and Get Me, Psychos vs. Aussie Babes

This may be the most depraved film ever from Australia...or of the 21st century.  The film can boast of a beautiful set of actresses, and some psycho males that will shred them, or try to. Depraved.  Misogynistic. Torture-Porn. Ominous.  Gratuitous. Lacking any humor or respite.  For those who like their horror horrific, we have one for you today. Warning, it won't be easy to watch what complete nutcases do to some very attractive Australian babes. Our feature today is 2011's "Come and Get Me," directed by Chris Sun.

Three complete psychos. Johnny (Christian Radford), Bretto (Shaun Trainer), and William (Christopher Price) abduct babes, then hunt them.  The hunts never last long and result in brutal rapes, and then the gals are butchered into little pieces. The first hunt we see is the lovely Kate (Jess Taylor), and it will not be easy to watch. Elongated. Brutal. Gory. Okay, four sultry Aussie party girls come to Brisbane for nightclubbing. Brisbane? Yeah, kind of like Terre Haute without the glitz. The sultry Gemma (Allira Jacques), Susan (Sarah Jane Blair), Michelle (Alexis Fernandez), and Leah (Kelsie McDonald) are each looking fine and drinking a lot.  Yep...the aforementioned groups are going to meet up...and it won't be pretty.

We don't like any of the gals when we first meet them.  Sadly, what happens to them will still be difficult to watch.  The first kill is brutal and gory, and internal organs will pour out.  Now the surviving gals are on the run through the woods and the three killers are close behind. The gals will fight for their lives.  Humiliation, rape, and disembowelment await them if they fail.  William, Bretto, and Johnny will make sure rape precedes, and follows the murders if they catch the beauties. What unfolds will be shocking, cause you to look away from the screen, and absolutely break your heart. Vicious and at no point will any of these babes receive a break.

Will any of the beauties survive this trio of psychos?  Will any of the psychos fall in their quest for rape and murder? Will this film end any kind of partying tourism Brisbane had enjoyed? Be warned, "I Spit on Your Grave" was a Disney classic compared to this gore-fest.  For an exercise in extreme horror, see "Come and Get Me." 

How Awful About Allan, Psycho-Lite

Anthony Perkins! Yep, in a movie where he plays an unstable young man, sent to a mental institution after maybe committing a murder. Then some psychiatrist, ill informed, releases him...then he heads back to the house which is the scene of the crime? "Psycho"? No! Today we look at the ABC Movie of the Week for September 22, 1970. Oh, you'll like this...an Aaron Spelling presentation! Let us look at "How Awful About Allan," directed by Curtis Harrington.

Allan lives in a big house with his sister Katherine (Julie Harris) and father. A fire occurs in the middle of the night and Allan rushes into his dad's room only to freeze as his dad is engulfed with flames. Katherine rushes in next, sees Allan has frozen, and tries to save the dad....her face is burned to a crisp as she does, leaving her scarred for life. Allan emerges blind.  His blindness is purely psychological and he is sent to an insane asylum. Now he gets out and does not appear happy to be sent back home to be cared for by his sister, Katherine. Katherine believes Allan still belongs in the looney bin.  Olive (Joan Hackett) is sweet on Allan and is the neighbor. She is happy to see Allan, but Allan doesn't feel like socializing. Allan is hostile to Katherine. She was always daddy's favorite and her and the dad may have been a lot closer than they should have been.

Allan never liked his dad and Katherine believes Allan could have saved him that fateful night. Olive? She's happy to see Allan and desires a romantic relationship with him.  Then Katherine allows borders in the house. The borders? Supposedly they are students form the college but Allan believes Katherine has brought her lover into the home to murder him. Paranoid to the max, Allan thinks there is a presence in the house, that may be a ghost, or a border, that is trying to murder him.  Allan seemingly gets increasingly unwound and Katherine begins making arrangements to send him back to the nuthouse.

Is Allan correct, that Katherine is trying to murder him?  Is Olive in on the plot?  Will Allan regain his sight just in time to see the axe come down on his head? Allan's sanity is in question for the entire film and the ending will be haunting.  For a thriller that stays low-key, but builds to an uneasy conclusion, see "How Awful About Allan."  

Tailgate, The Dutch Exterminator

Dutch horror films? "Amsterdamned" is the one that comes immediately to mind. Well, we have another. Yep, a weird one that is kind of icky. Perhaps a ballad on politeness, as rudeness is what sets the psycho off in this one. The protagonist? We don't like him. We kind of see the psycho's point of view.  Not that we condone the horrific stuff that he does, but as with much of western Europe, their arrogance is not their friend. Let us look at a 2019 film from The Netherlands, "Tailgate" (aka "Bumperkleef"), directed by Lodewijk Crijns.

As our film begins, Ed, a humongous exterminator in a white van chases down a bicyclist, mows him down, and fills him up with rat poison. You know the Dutch. Apparently the bicyclist was rude to him and cut him off on the road. Fast forward, the twerp Hans (Jeroen Spitzenberger) is herding his snotty family into the family Volvo (I know, you hate them already). His grouchy wife, Diana (Anniek Pheifer), yells at him nonstop.  His two snotty little girls (Liz Vergeer and Roosmarijn van der Hoek) bicker constantly. Late, Hans speeds in traffic and tailgates Ed and his white van. Ed goes psycho and begins terrorizing the family on the road.  The hulking Ed looks to be almost seven feet tall, and when he dons his white HAZMAT suit, and straps on his tank of rat poison, well, it's pretty scary...or as scary as you are going to get in Holland.

He sprays the family and is bent on teaching Hans and Diana manners. The kids scream in horror.  Both Hans and Diana seem to unravel as Ed continues his pursuit. Uh oh...Ed has stolen Hans' phone and knows where his parents live.  Hans' parents are battling dementia and when Ed shows up at their home, more horror. Now Hans' and family arrive at the grandparents house and do not know Ed and his rat poison have beaten him and his family there. An awkward and twisted war develops and Hans will really be put through the ringer as his snotty family is of little help.

Will Hans, and his family, survive the psycho who merely seeks politeness?  Is Ed's evil methods to instill niceness a metaphor for the iron hand used by the European Union to redefine western morality? Will Diana ever shut up and let her husband enjoy a moment of peace? This is a weird one and the villain is ominous and big.  For something a little different, from Europe, see "Tailgate." 

Green Room, Punk Rock Band Shredded

Punk Rock bands don't make the kind of victims that we pull for.  They have no talent and most are high on whatever they can shoot.  Still, by the end of this film, we are pulling for them.  Sure, not as a punk rock  band but as losers in life.  The underdog. The much heralded 2015 film we will look at today is a gore-fest, and even stars that "Star Trek" guy...the bald grouchy guy.  Our film today is "Green Room," directed by Jeremy Soulnier.

The Ain't Rights are the aforementioned band. Not much talent, but they have taken their van across country to play in gigs...that net them only a few measly dollars.  After earning only $6 at their last gig, they drive down near Portland and play at some dive filled with skinheads and neo-National Socialists. It goes...okay.  The crowd got down for their music, and even liked one of them. Pat (Anton Yelchin) is the lead singer and Sam (Alia Shawkat) is the manager. On the way out of the green room the band sees Emily (Taylor Tunes) knifed in the head by Justin (Eric Edelstein). Justin is a big one and holds the band in the room at gunpoint. Uh oh...a lot is going on at this dive bar and the owner, Darcy (Patrick Stewart) is called to manage the clean-up. Clean-up? Yeah...get rid of witnesses and preserve the operation being undertaken in the basement. 

Now Darcy wants the band to come out of the room.  Pat has gotten the gun away from Justin. Uh oh, Emily's bestie, Amber the skinhead babe (Imogen Poots) is also in the room, and she's psycho. Upset at what Justin did to Emily, she...well, it is pretty gory, you'll see. Darcy mobilizes his skinheads and neo-National Socialists to raid the green room, which is locked and barricaded. War ensues. Guns. Machetes. Boxcutters. Fire extinguishers. Attack dogs. You name it. Darcy has a lot to lose if The Ain't Rights get away.  Pat and his band have even more to lose.  Blood will be shed.  Limbs will be destroyed.  Throats will be ripped out. All very yucky.

Do our underdogs have a prayer against an army of skinheads? Will Pat develop a third chord, thus maybe gaining some talent?  Can Pat trust psycho Amber as his band wages war against the neo-National Socialists?  "Green Room" is an ominous one, with much gore, and some heartbreaking deaths.  For a good metaphor of the fate of most Punk Rock bands, see "Green Room." 

American Driller Killer, America's Bloody Decay

Detroit...Washington, DC...Memphis...Baltimore...Philadelphia...Louisville...Atlanta...New York City...Los Angeles...Chicago...take your pick. Arguably, the aforementioned cities can be termed s**t holes. The original title of 2020's "American Driller Killer" was "Detroit Driller Killer," but most major American cities can fit the bill of the setting for this vicious film with an extraordinarily high kill count. The decay of the American city's, if anyone's fault, is the fault of all of us. No elected pol in any of these cities has the brains nor desire to fix them. As Americans continue to get mowed down in these places, at a much higher rate than the Afghanistan death count, perhaps this film by Matt Jassle  should be required viewing.

Reno (Justin Scro) is a loser who can't find a job. He writes screenplays. When the job he lands, to write the script for "Cannibal Inferno," falls through...he goes berserk. First up, after buying a power drill, is his nagging wife Carol (Alyssa Rose Schultz). He'll store her body in the shower and keep talking to her. Reno then goes out for a walk/spree. During this spree he will drill to death hookers, a mugger, and a guy wielding a baseball bat. His rampage will continue the next day after talking to the voices in his head. The punk band Splooge will be drilled.

Reno's victims don't draw much sympathy from us. They are the dregs of society...the creatures that have taken over the inner cities. It is easy to fall into that trap...and we do. You know...that trap when we believe not all human life is sacred...you don't have to admit that out loud. Then, two decent folk get it...and this serves as a wake-up call...perhaps their is something precious  about human life. After these two heartbreaking killings, we the viewer have sobered up. The trash Reno is cleaning off the Detroit streets all of a sudden are human beings to us. Humans with potential for good. This doesn't matter to Reno as the bulk of his murders are ahead.

What will Reno's ultimate death count be as the final credits roll? Is there anything in Reno's hatred that perhaps we can identify in ourselves? Is there any hope for the urban decay that has destroyed our major cities? These aren't rhetoric questions but you can answer them in private. Vicious, grim, gory, and ominous, "American Driller Killer" may be an American parable, or a warning with a call to goodness. 

Tiger's Rampage, Tiger vs. Bachelorettes

Yep, we'll be cheering for the tiger. Five beautiful, and eternally boring dames, doing boring things, being annoying, whining, giggling, and playing lame drinking games. Yep, go tiger! In a gore-fest, hauntingly loyal to the book, we will look at 2026's "Tiger's Rampage," directed by Dominic Nutter.

Hurricane hits England! Go with it. The zoo is decimated and a tiger is now loose on the countryside. It eats two zookeepers, no great loss. Gotta say, the kills are extremely gory. Here they come, a bride-to-be and her four bridesmaids for a bachelorette weekend at a rented mansion near the woods. Oh, Cindy (Francesca Weir) the bride is blind. Her boring friends, one will end up in a bikini, are ready for drinking, marijuana, hot tub frolicking, and the obligatory Truth-or-Dare game. Yawn. Lara (Sophie Jo Beman) is an outsider to the group, but we like her the best. Mya (Paige Haim) brought a bikini and is ready for the hot tub. Louise (Serena Lehman) is a hot blonde who sketches. Then Pepper (Sarah Louise Hill), who is no Angie Dickinson, but she does love crystals and other New Age garbage. I know...bring on the tiger.

Yep, it arrives.  The thing is big and CGI, but identifies as a real tiger, so for the purpose of this review we will consider it a real tiger. It doesn't like these dames either. The gals are ill equipped to battle the monster and blood will splatter all over the place. Blind Cindy will make some dumb mistakes as none of her other senses seem to have enhanced after losing her sight. Pepper's crystals will not stop the onslaught...big surprise there. Oh, even the Truth-or-Dare game won't leads to any prurient revelations. The ending? You will not believe it.  You thought shooting the SCUBA tank in "Jaws" was a great ending! Ha! The ending here is...well...let's just say that Joel and the 'bots would have had a field day with it.

Will the babes all get in bikinis and have a catfight in the hot tub that includes a real cat? Will Cindy find out that one of her girlfriends had an affair with her fiancé? Will Cindy's cane be of any use against a predatory tiger? See "Tiger's Rampage" and realize why the male species is far superior than the female species.