Cursed, Stupid American vs. Euro-Babe Witch

Set in rural Romania...filmed in Wisconsin.  One has superstition and gypsies.  The other has cheese and the Packers.  One has magic, curses, and mysterious deaths.  The other has an overflow from Chicago, an overflow from Scandinavia, and secular Catholics.  I will say that it is nice to see a witch in Romania who doesn't have a mole on her face with a single strand of hair growing out of it. Our feature today is 2024 "Cursed," directed by Patrick Corcoran.

Stupid dweeb American Gordon (Billy Branigan) is hiking through rural Romania...probably looking for The Slaughtered Lamb. He is out of money and hungry. The dweeb comes across a fruit stand that seems unattended.  He steals some apple, and the cash box that has a lot of money in it. The weather gets colder and he seeks refuge at a nearby farmhouse occupied by the sultry Zulema (Sarah Bonrepaux). She lets him in, feeds him, and shows some signals that she may want to seduce him. Uh oh...she tells Gordon that her grandmother, the old hag Olga (Lamya Regrauui Muzio), is upstairs and runs the fruit stand.  She also tells him that Olga provides the region with the freshest fruit and curses anyone who steals from her stand.

The horror begins. The next morning, Olga and Gordon meet.  She knows he stole from her and he bludgeons her to death after she projectile vomits at him. A heartwarming scene, I may add. Now he hides the body and claims ignorance when Zulema wonders where her grandmother is. Alas, she knows.  Now Gordon has no idea what he is in for.  Pre-marital sex will occur but not for the reasons it usually occurs.  Then Gordon begins changing.  What follows is horrific and gory.  The last ten minutes of the film will give you some imagery that will stay with you through days of nightmares. 

Just what did Zulema give to Gordon through this pre-marital sex?  Does Gordon have a prayer of escaping the witch Zulema? Just what does Zulema have planned for Gordon?  Creepy and moralistic, this film will be unsettling and cold.  For a good Friday night movie watch, see "Cursed." 

The Stalking, Day of the Triffids Meets The Evil Dead

Who can forget the scene where the tree raped the poor damsel in 1981's "The Evil Dead"?  How about 1963's "The Day of the Triffids"? Pretty scary...both films.  "Triffids" was remade by British TV but the remake was horrible.  Plants on the warpath...creepy (literally). Something about creeping plants, roots that sneak up on you, tear you apart, get inside you and explode out...ick...and eek! Today we have a film that will cause you to feel those roots sneaking up your body.  You'll itch, twitch, and squirm as you will imagine the invasion on your own self. Our feature today is from two of this blog's favorite people, Jeff Kirkendall and Mark Polonia, 2024's "The Stalking."

Joey (Cody Losinger), a nerd-teen, is a good sort. As the film begins, after a weird satanic rite, he is bullied by a mean gang.  Diesel (Justin Gordon), Diz (Anna Dainton), and Rod (Kyle Rappaport) are three of the gang bullies who end up beating and humiliating our nerd.  Joey is a good sort and takes comfort in two buddies, also nerds. Lauren (Jada Sanchez) and Marc (Stephen Pflug) want revenge, Not bloody revenge, as this trio are good sorts.  They concoct a plan that will utilize a stink bomb. Nerds! Meanwhile, remember that satanic rite I mentioned...it worked. Something is happening in this little town as Halloween approaches.  A scarecrow beckons for life.  Plants, sunflowers most notably, seem to animate.  They pull up roots and roam, think triffids. They even smoke weed...how fitting.

The stoned triffid-wannabes begin attacking.  Most of the victims have it coming as this little town has more deviants than Peyton Place.  The plants strangle, decapitate, pull apart, and invade the body.  The deaths are gory and ominous.  No one dies quickly in this film. Our nerd trio adopts a plan for revenge... not a good one, but when dealing with stupid bullies, one doesn't need Einstein in the gang. Marc has made the ultimate stink bomb, and now the nerds are on the offense..  Unfortunately for all involved, the real satanic killer will adopt a scythe. A scythe?  Has there ever been a bad horror film where the killer used a scythe.  Kind of like a sickle except more sophisticated.  The flamethrower of the folk horror subgenre, one might say. 

Will our nerds gain their revenge or die trying?  Will any of the bullies survive to the end credits? Will our stoned triffid-like things rape any nubile babes like in that 1981 classic?  This is a fun one with some great gore and creature f/x.  Mr. Kirkendall and Mr. Polonia have always known what horror fans want in their movies, and these two have delivered big time.  See "The Stalking" on the free streaming service of Fawesome by clicking this link THE STALKING .

The Amityville Moon, Werewolf Eats Babes

Amityville!  This may come as a surprise to you but this film has absolutely nothing to do with that dreaded house, possession, the Lutz family, or anything regarding what we know as "The Amityville Horror."  I guess "The Amityville Moon" sounds a lot better than "The Levittown Moon." But, we do have a nice cheese factor.  Sure, most of the babes will be shredded.  Our feature today is 2021's "The Amityville Moon," directed by Thomas J. Churchill.

Okay, as our film begins a werewolf chases down some schmuck and shreds him. Fast forward, two at-risk young female criminals try to escape from a Catholic Rehabilitation Home.  The gals there are either junkies, whores, abused, runaways, or exotic dancers sentenced to be there. The sultry Alyssa (Alex Rinehart) and Karla (Kelsey Zukowski) are trying to escape through a window. Alyssa makes it and Kelsey is pureed by a werewolf. Meanwhile, Detective Kimball (Trey McCurley) has just got his badge back after a suspension...anger issues. His first assignment is to find the two runaways, not knowing Karla has been digested. He goes to the home and talks to Father Peter (David B. Meadows) and Sister Ruth (Tuesday Knight). Both of these Catholics are obviously keeping secrets.  Like what? Like Sister Francis (Katrina Leigh Waters), a babe. She's also in a coma...kind of, being fed blood.  A clue!

Okay, more girls get ripped apart.  Alyssa is found at the biker bar she worked at as a cocktail waitress.  She was there to try to  buy a gun with silver bullets...think she knows something? Kimball kind of believes her even though he brings her back to Father Peter and Sister Ruth. Meanwhile, we get indication that Francis is not in a coma but very...hungry.  More babes get eaten.  Now Alyssa takes it upon herself to try to escape again as Kimball tries to get to the bottom of what is going on in the house. More babes get eaten.  One poor babe even gets her face swatted off.  Now Sister Francis is out of bed...and on the prowl.

Will Detective Kimball need cocktail waitress Alyssa to save him?  Will any babe be left with her internal organs as the end credits role?  Is this film a metaphor of the chaos and tumult the Catholic church has been in ever since it adopted The Apocrypha and drove Martin Luther away? For some gory carnage, with babes screaming bloody murder, see "The Amityville Moon."    

Stark Fear, Sultry Babe Put Through the Ringer

Fans of Beverly Garland will find this one very difficult to watch. The sultry actress, usually in horror films, makes this dark thriller.  In it she will be humiliated, toyed with, beaten, and, oh yes, brutally raped. Maybe the creepiest and most humiliating rape of movie history. Her black lacy bra will actually be an important prop throughout the film. This is one that you may think reaches its darkest point...then it gets darker and more sordid. Our feature today is 1962's "Stark Fear," directed by Ned Hockman.

Ellen (Garland) only desires to please her oil executive husband, Gerry (Skip Homeier) on his birthday. She'll buy and put on a very sexy black lace bra and bring home a birthday cake. Gerry's company has not been finding oil of late so he is grouchy. Ellen has taken a new job to pay the bills with the hunk Cliff (Kenneth Tobey). She arrives home and her drunk husband pummels and humiliates her. He is upset that she has taken a job with a hunk. He calls her a tramp and belts her around. Now Gerry orders her to refuse the job she was just offered. The beating and humiliation Gerry delivered Ellen is hard to watch, and now she wanders the park in her roughed up state.  What will ultimately make matters worse for her, Cliff still pursues her, not only as a secretary but romantically.

Now it gets really brutal and sadistic, this movie. Ellen, if at all possible, desires to save her marriage... mistake. When Gerry goes missing she tries to find him and learns some weird secrets about her husband.  She finds out he actually hails from a small Oklahoma town and drives there. Big mistake. The town is weird and is filled with weird people and shops.  Rapists and drunks abound and the smartly dressed and made-up Ellen is no match for the deviance and brutality that will violate her there.  In one horrific scene, she is pulled into a graveyard and...well, you'll see. Can this get worse? Oh yes.  You'll see.  The last act in this film ramps up the sordid deviance three levels.  Alas, the sultry Beverly Garland will have turned in a heartbreaking and difficult performance.  Alas, the beautiful will suffer so much in this film.

Will Ellen be able to save her husband from whatever ails him?  Just what secrets lay in Gerry's spooky home town?  Will Cliff be able to be a white horse and come in and save the pretty Ellen? Beverly Garland is one of my favorite actresses and to watch her performance in this film will be unforgettable. See "Stark Fear," and be ready to gasp and squirm. 

The Bloody Vampire, Mexican Vampire

Cultural appropriation be damned, another stolen vampire film from Mexico. Anglo names are inserted for the characters...although didn't Mexico just elect a president with an Anglo name? Never mind. On one hand we have a classic "Dracula" type tale, however there are some twists to it. The movie is also vicious and gory...and the vampire bat!  Yep a bat that looks like a kaiju...Rodan to be more specific. Perhaps the Mexicans did a bit of cultural appropriation on the Japanese. Interesting that Japan never complained about this. Today we look at 1962's "The Bloody Vampire," directed by Miguel Morayta. BTW, this film is on the free streaming service Mometu (get the app or see them on X @freemometu).

Our toothy fiend is Count Frankenhausen (Carlos Agosti). He lives in a cavernous old castle south of the border.  His sultry wife is Countess Frankenhausen  (Erna Martha Bauman). She's sultry but not pleasing to the Count. She does not desire to be bitten so the Count is killing her with disease. The evil servant Frau Hildegarde (Bertha Moss) brings the Count ravishing women from the village for him to feed on and make some his brides. He has a bunch of brides in coffins...perhaps a metaphor for that Mexican machismo we love to snicker at here in the States. Let's skip much of the plot and get to Anna (Begona Palacios) and her doctor fiancé, Richard (Raul Farrell). See, Anna is kind of like Nancy Drew...loves a good mystery. Richard has been tasked to help find a cure for vampirism by his boss, Anna's dad (Antonio Rexel).

Fast forward...Anna uses her guile to land a job as a servant and nurse for the Countess.  Richard will be kept informed and befriend the Count. Eek...Richard does not fool the Count. Even worse, the Count falls madly in love with Anna and desires to kill off the Countess, bite Anna, and make the nubile sleuth his new main bride. Now Anna and the Countess are in mortal danger.  Richard lingers near and in the castle trying to find proof that the Count is a vampire.  Hildegarde finds out Richard's and Anna's deception from spies and reports back to the Count. Now the Count figures he needs to hurry up and turn Anna into a bloodsucker.  He figures on doing this just after finally draining the Countess. Only Richard can stop him as Anna has been entranced by the vampire's magical gaze.

Will Anna be able to survive as a living being and also save the Countess?  Is Count Frankenhausen a misunderstood undocumented living being in a world that sees him as undead? Is Richard's and Anna's desire to murder the charming vampire a mere form of xenophobia and hate that will forever damn Mexico?  The babe factor in this film is terrific as is the gore factor. This is a better film than many of the "Dracula" remakes made by Hollywood. Treat yourself with a terrific vampire film, see "The Bloody Vampire" or should I say "El Vampiro Sangriento"?

Terror of the Master, Vampire Duo and a TV Info-Babe

When we think of horror films from1998 we may mention "Urban Legend," "The Faculty," or "Deep Rising."  We had starlets like Famke Janssen (who was in two of those films) seducing us.  Though the 1980s were the golden years of slasher and horror films, we often forget about the 90s. Straight to VHS came into being and horror films still opened fairly often in the movie theater.  1998 also saw our buddy Jeff Kirkendall as a young, strapping, gentleman of a film maker. Today we associate him with our other buddies, the Polonia Brothers.  Today we look at Jeff Kirkendall's 1998 film, "Terror of the Master," available free on the streaming service of Fawesome .

Okay, as our film opens, the sultry Jennifer (Amy Naple) is chained in the basement of a vampire's abode. Clad in a nice black negligee, and trying to escape, sadly, she will fall victim to the toothy Christopher (Tony Turcic).  Apparently many young babes have gone missing as Christopher does have needs. Info-Babe Drew (Maitely Weismann) has yet to make it big.  Thus, she works part time in an antique store. One night a babe comes into the shop, leaves suddenly, and ends up in Christopher's basement. Very sad. Drew recognizes the babe when her station does a news report on her disappearance.  She also gets a threatening call telling her to forget about seeing the babe in her shop...or else.

Now Drew, determined to graduate to important news features, instead of bake sales, investigates.  Her depressed sister Amelia (Jennifer Birn) joins her.  They get close to Christopher fast and this incurs the vampire's wrath.  Uh oh...Christopher explains his backstory...and it goes back centuries.  You'll see, no spoilers here, but it does tell us there is another vampire, Darden (James Carolus).  These two have a bit of a rivalry...a rivalry that indicates both want the other dead...I mean really dead.  Unfortunately for Amelia and Drew, they will be caught up in this battle while chained in Christopher's basement.

Will Drew survive to break the story of a lifetime?  Will the sisters, now chained in the basement, escape as living beings...or undead beings?  Can any nubile babe survive the lust rivalry of two horny and hungry vampires?  Jeff Kirkendall succeeds in giving us a plot we want to see on the screen as opposed to making a sequel to Stanley Kubrick's "Barry Lyndon."  For some fun and campy thrills, see "Terror of the Master." 

My Cherry Pie, Hardened Criminals vs. Psychos

We have one from Australia today.  What do we have?  Let's just say it is a reimagining of Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." At times the accents will be difficult to understand, here in the U.S., but stay with it.  This isn't an arty film about relationships, it is a horror film with gore thrown in your face. It is also one of those films where we end up cheering for the killer.  There are just some people that need killing...a U.S. Marine told me that once. Our feature today is 2021's "My Cherry Pie," directed by Addison Heath and Jasmine Jakupi.

Okay, the film begins with two hippies in the woods planning to fornicate. They'll be killed off in very gory fashion.  The killer marches away with their heads. Fast forward, two idiotic crime guys, Jack (Dylan Heath) and Green (Tim Jason Wicks), pick up Freddie (Sotiris Tzelios) as he gets out of prison. The trio immediately continue their evil ways and knock off three drug dealers. Uh oh...they knocked off a connected fiend (Aston Elliot) and now have to get out of Dodge. They don't get far as their car breaks down.  Edwin (Glenn Maynard) finds them and brings them home. Home? He has an abandoned school where he lives with his sultry niece, Cherry (Trudi Ranik). Like all babes...she's a bit off. The trio look at Cherry as if they want to rape her.  Edwin and Cherry look at the crime boys as if they want to...well, you'll see.

Meanwhile, a masked killer stalks the grounds of this school turned into an orchard, and murders annoying trespassers.  The kills are gory.  Jack realizes there is something off with Cherry and implores his mates to get away now.  The mates, unwisely are captivated by her beauty and decline. Now something or someone in the house hunts them.  Right, someone or something is behind a locked door and is fed body parts by Cherry.  The reveal is not totally surprising, but the gore is intense.  Our three criminal stooges may or may not get what is coming to them.  Other reveals are sordid and taboo.

Do any of these criminals have a chance of getting away?  What is Cherry's story and is she the killer?  Just what is behind the locked door that needs to eat human remains?  This film pays a lot of homage to the Tobe Hooper classic and that is just fine with us.  For an incredibly gory horror film set in the Land Down Under, see "My Cherry Pie."