Tuesday, May 23, 2023

Terror at London Bridge, Jack the Ripper and Adrienne Barbeau

Serial killers have always fascinated us.  Many times we are not careful enough to halt the fascination before it becomes admiration.  Throw in one from foggy old London who escaped capture and we have a man urban legends are made of.  Jack the Ripper!  The horrific means in which he murdered are often lost on the fact that he beat Scotland Yard and was never caught.  Sort of a British D.B. Cooper...except Cooper never carved and gutted nubile women.  But...when Jack the Ripper messes with Adrienne Barbeau!  Well, now we have no trouble realizing this creep for the monster he was.  Today we look at 1985's Made for TV epic, "Terror at London Bridge," directed by E.W. Swackhamer ... and starring ...DAVID HASSELHOFF!!! 

Chicago cop Don Gregory (Hasselhoff) is involved in an awful shooting and transfers to Lake Havasu (Arizona), a resort and retirement community. Lake Havasu purchased all of London bridge from England and now rebuilt it at the lake. Really.  Through some supernatural circumstances, also arriving in Lake Havasu is Jack the Ripper (Paul Rossilli)...and he begins murdering babes.  Sultry Alice (Barbara Bingham) is first...so sad. The city council and mayor are determined to keep the bridge open as tourist dollars are important.  Don wants it closed as he senses a serial killer has arrived.  Chief Peter Dawson (Clu Gulager) won't shut the bridge.  Now Don and his partner, Joe (Randolph Mantooth) must find the killer before the fiend murders Don's new GF, Angie (Stepfanie Kramer).

Sadly, Jack the Ripper murders Adrienne Barbeau...and now its personal!  After all, this is the babe that survived the ghouls in "The Fog."  Babes continue to have their throats slit.  Don goes head to head with the mayor, chief, and the city council to close the bridge.  He's rebuffed at every turn.  Jack the Ripper continues his quest for...well, you'll see.  Now Don has a plan...unfortunately, Angie and Joe believe he is nuts.  Well, David Hasselhoff is...David Hasselhoff...and now Joe and Angie agree to help him.  The plan is a bad one and you just know Angie will be put in mortal danger.  Nevertheless, future tourism dollars for Lake Havasu are at steak and Jack the Ripper must be caught.

How can anyone kill Adrienne Barbeau?  Will Stepfanie and Don engage in pre-marital sex, or will Don's supposed insanity keep Angie available for Joe or Jack?  Will the city council and mayor come to agreement on a new water resources bill that won't jack-up property taxes for Lake Havasu residents? This is a "Jaws" like plot and the stars in this film are all terrific.  With some great TV cheesecake and beefcake,,,"Terror at London Bridge" is a must see film made before wokeness destroyed America.  


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