Friday, May 19, 2023

She, Sandahl Bergman's Magnum Opus

Today we have a great film. I know the term "great" is thrown around with reckless abandon...but this is literally a "great" film.  Sure, the Oscars would not agree...but they liked "The English Patient." Sandahl Bergman is a babe who excelled in exploitation films in the 80s and even insisted on filming all her sword fighting scenes using...real swords!  You think Jennifer Anniston would have suggested something like this? When you play a have to have it...and Ms. Bergman definitely has "it."  Hence...she plays "She."  No pronoun confusion when Sandahl Bergman hits the silver screen ...she is definitely a woman...and a half. Today we look at 1984's "She," directed by Avi Nesher.

Two hunks, Tom (David Goss) and Dick (Harrison Muller) are sad. The army of an evil warlord, collecting babes, abducts Tom's babe sister, Hari (Elena Wiedermann).  Now the hunk duo go on a quest to recover the babe.  She (Bergman) is a goddess presiding over a babe army of scantily clad warriors.  The babes wear a little leather and have big swords.  The two blokes find out She would know where the evil warlord resides...She does.  The two hunks kidnap She in order so she can lead them to the evil warlord. Now She's sultry right hand babe, Shanda (Quin Kessler), grabs the babe warriors and pursues.  Along the way, She and the two hunks will be beset by mutants who lose their limbs easy, cannibals, weird sailor bombs (you'll see), Nazi cults, and eventually the evil warlord's army.

Shanda catches up to the trio and by this time, She is all in in finding the babe sister.  Shanda and She, in skimpy leather undies, are constantly strung up, whipped, put on the rack, and experimented on. Chivalry was not dead back in these times, and Tom and Dick keep rescuing them.  She kind of gets sweet on Tom and Shanda gets sweet on Dick.  There will be more sword fighting and all out war between this quartet and all the aforementioned evil forces.  Both blondes, She and Shanda, look great, shiny, and fit throughout the entire film...even when they are being whipped.  Tom and Dick are quite the hunks... and the quest these four are on is a noble one.

Will Tom end up landing a goddess?  Will She be satisfied with a mere mortal, no matter how hunky he is? Will the evil warlords and cult leaders be successful in soiling She and Shanda?  This is an epic with a lot of cheesecake and beefcake. Ms. Bergman and Ms. Kessler are stunning throughout the entirety and will definitely get your juices flowing.  See "She," you will be impressed.       

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