Monday, April 3, 2023

Pagan Island, Topless Women Love Man

We have a good one today.  In fact, Princess Nani Maka plays herself!  Can't say we haven't been waiting for this.  On a mysterious island where babes go around topless...well, it takes great courage for one of these babes to play herself in a movie.  Today we have 1961's "Pagan Island," directed by Barry Mahon.  Gratuitous to the max...and very anti-woke (you'll see).

William (Eddie Dew), quite the hunk, and also topless, washes up on a mysterious Polynesian island after the oil tanker he was on explodes at sea.  He quickly comes across a tribe of topless babes.  Instantly, Princess Nani Maka falls in love with him. Big problem...Nani Maka is promised in marriage to the Sea God.  During the next full moon, she will be sacrificed to the deity in order to live with it eternally in the hereafter.  The topless queen (Trine Hovelsrud) tells William to stay away from Nani Maka so as not to make the Sea God angry.  If angered, the Sea God will destroy the island with tsunamis and earthquakes. William is also told by the queen and Nani Maka that the gals on the island do not like the white men.  Seems they're woke and have been fed the Critical Race Theory garbage in their schools.

The wokeness goes away when a troop of, shall we say...diverse men arrive at the island to rape the topless women.  William murders all of them and now the topless women all love William.  Sadly, the wedding night nears and William comes up with a wild plan to wrestle Nani Maka away from the Sea God.  He also teaches Nani Maka to kiss.  The queen is grateful to William for saving her girls from the diversity brigade and tries to find a compromise in which both the Sea God and William can enjoy Nani Maka in all her toplessness.  

Can the Sea God be negotiated with?  Would the Woke police, or the diversity police have this film banned here in 2023?  Why isn't Nani Maka a household name today?  Gratuitous and non-PC...see "Pagan Island" while downing a few Pabst Blue Ribbons and having your best bikini clad girl bring you some Cheetos and Cheese-Whiz. 

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