Monday, November 13, 2023

Crypt of Dark Secrets, Revenge in the Bayou

Revenge...voodoo style!  We'll have voodoo dolls...pagan rites...and the sultry and oiled up Maureen Ridley as the sultry enchantress.  No partial nudity in this one.  When voodoo comes a calling...real voodoo...we have full nudity...gratuitous nudity! Sadly for Maureen Ridley, she is cast with a bunch of dweebs.  No hunks here...but that won't stop this amazing actress from plying her exotic dancing skills... all oiled up.  Today we look at 1976's "Crypt of Dark Secrets," directed by Jack Weis.

In the Louisiana swamp sits a magic island where a cool fog permeates.  Residing there is former army Ranger, Ted (Ronald Tanet). After being wounded in Vietnam, he gets out and lives in seclusion on this island.  He keeps all his money in his mattress. Also living on the island is a strange but enchanting babe, Damballa (Ridley).  She can turn into a snake instantly...okay, no comments from you divorced guys out there!  Ted has only two friends, two cops from the mainland, Sgt. Burke (Herbert G. Jahncke) and Lt. Harrigan (Wayne Mack).  They visit him and implore him to put his money in the bank. Reluctantly, Ted agrees. Too late...three creeps, Earl (Butch Benet), Max (Harry Uher), and Louise (Barbara Hagerty) sneak onto the island, murder Ted, and abscond with his money.

Now the magic starts.  Damballa loves Ted.  She strips, oils up, and performs an alluring exotic dance which will see her mount Ted's corpse and kiss him.  Wisely, Ted reanimates and is advised Damballa has picked him to live with through eternity.  Damballa and voodoo dolls are then put into play.  Louise, Max, and Earl are lured back to the island by greed and black magic.  What happens next is predictable.  However predictable this plot is, Damballa's nude and oiled up efforts are worth the price of admission.  The price of admission was most likely paid at a drive-in back in 1976 for this film.

Can army Ranger Ted make the transition smoothly to the netherworld if attached to an oiled up and nude exotic dancer?  Bet you haven't heard that question for awhile. Does the evil trio stand a chance at surviving now that voodoo and the oiled up Damballa are after them?  Are there any other Damballa's in the bayou for other swamp dweebs?  This is an erotic and gratuitous one.  For some nice drive-in horror, see "Crypt of Dark Secrets."   

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