Thursday, November 9, 2023

Crawler, A Killdozer Reboot

This one isn't really a remake of 1974's "Killdozer," but close.  We have a menacing bulldozer infused with an alien spirit that is very homicidal. Unlike the original "Killdozer," this one has cleavage.  Say what you want...infusing horrible deaths and over-the-top gore with cleavage is not always a bad thing.  In fact, if there is one thing you will remember about this film a year from will be impressive cleavage. Today we will look at 2009's "Crawler," directed by Sv Bell...and featuring the lovely Heidi Hawkins and her!

Jimmy (Deke Richards), a hunk, is foreman at a construction site.  His admin babe is Sandra (Hawkins), and she has impressive cleavage.  This point is drilled home a couple dozen times in this film. You can't miss it. By mistake and after some initial bloodshed, the construction company ends up renting the wrong bulldozer.  Now a possessed machine begins its rampage.  But possessed by what, or who? Now the thing, one by one, begins crushing and ripping apart construction guys.  Uh oh...the thing has tentacles.  Tentacles with heads that can bite off a man's head.  It also bites, or burns, Boone (Mike Paterson). Now Boone is infected and what happens to him is quite disgusting.  Then there is Karl (Keir Cutler) . Karl will be possessed by the thing and watch over its eggs.  Eggs?  Yep.  It gives birth.

Karl places one of the eggs in Sandra's office. Why?  Oh, come on!  You know why!  Remember, the monster bulldozer has tentacles.  Can you guess where this film might be going.  Cleavage, I mean Sandra now is falling for Jimmy.  Jimmy will get to enjoy her cleavage...I mean smile.  Uh oh...the monster dozer might be able to bring back ghosts of the dearly'll see. Jimmy begins to put clues together and realizes he should spend less time in Sandra's cleavage and more time fighting monsters. This had to be tough for him as Sandra's cleavage is not easy to put aside.  Okay, that's enough.  The flavor of this review is getting too prurient.  We do have a terrific man vs. machine film...albeit a possessed machine.

Will the bulldozer's tentacles do anything prurient to Sandra and  What will be produced if the bulldozer tentacles have their way with Sandra?  Why hasn't Heidi Hawkins and her cleavage gone on to do so much more, either horror films or exploitation films?  This is a good one.  Think about it.  Has there ever been a bad movie about tentacled bulldozers going after cleavage. See "Crawler" and then I challenge you to find another Heidi Hawkins film.

No comments:

Post a Comment