Tuesday, November 8, 2022

Vulcan, Son of Jupiter, Gods, Mortals, and Scantily Clad Babes

Okay...it is Euro-trash.  Maybe a bargain basement Hercules-type film.  More important, two lovely Italian actresses, Bella Cortez and Annie Gorassini will deliver the best catfight in filmdom history.  They both frolic and prance around the entire film in skimpy togas...having pre-marital sex or being whipped and spanked.  Then the duo will turn their claws on each other and whip one another's butt, pull one another's hair, strangle one another, bitch-slap each other, and humiliate the other.  Oh yes...you gals will like the beefcake as many men go shirtless, grunt, flex, and deliver passionate kisses and groping to our catfighters.  Today we look at a serious contribution to the subgenre of sword and sorcery, 1962, "Vulcan, Son of Jupiter," directed by Emimmo Salvi.

Babe/slut/goddess Venus (Gorassini) has wandered away from Mount Olympus and shows up on Earth.  She engages in pre-marital sex and frolicking with any male she can find.  Mars (Roger Browne) wants to marry her so he fights with Vulcan (Iloosh Khoshabe). See, Venus really wants Vulcan.  Jupiter (Furio Meniconi) is upset that Venus has run away and casts Mars and Vulcan to earth to find her.  Mars finds her first and the two engage in kissing, groping, and pre-marital sex.  Mars plots with Pluto to kill Vulcan.  Meanwhile, Vulcan lands on the seashore where Aetna (Cortez) falls in love with him at first sight. Like all hunks, Vulcan is bad luck and Aetna and her nubile friends are then abducted, with Vulcan, by lizard monsters...happens.

Let's not talk about the midget...it will only annoy you.  Aetna now lusts for Vulcan and the two escape with Neptune's (Omero Gargana) help...trust me.  Now the duo head to find Mars and Venus.  They, of course fall in love.  The skimpy toga worn by Aetna leaves little to the imagination.  We just know that when Venus sees her, the claws will be bared.  Now Venus is told Vulcan loves a mortal named after an insurance company...and she is ticked.  Mars is determined to murder Vulcan, knowing he can never have Venus unless he takes care of his rival.  The two babes will frolic, dance, roll around in the hay, and make passion with their men.  Yep...it all culminates in a big war which includes the above mentioned catfight.

During the catfight, will either Venus or Aetna tear the other's toga off?  Is the catfight between Aetna and Venus a metaphor for the dating life of sorority babes in the American university system?  Is this film a metaphor for the annihilation of globalist empires in the West as civilization states rise in the East and in Russia?  Cheese and beef to the max.  For nubile beauties behaving badly and loving men, and beefcake grunting and sweating a lot...see "Vulcan, Son of Jupiter."  

1 comment:

  1. take that toga off and get down and dirty, great stuff