Saturday, June 26, 2021

Assignment Terror, Monster Mania and Euro-Babes

This film is commonly called "Frankenstein vs. Dracula," but more accurately should be called "Frankenstein vs .Dracula vs. The Mummy vs. The Wolf Man.  Throw in some go-go booted Euro-babes and some mad scientists, old castle laboratories and aliens and we have a masterpiece.  Oh yes, this horror film is from Spain and the werewolf is played by Paul Naschy...need I say more?  Directed by Tulio Demicheli, 1970's "Assignment Terror" is our feature for today.

An alien world is dying and they send their scientist, Dr. Warnoff (Michael Rennie) to Earth.  His assignment, develop a plan for conquest so the alien peoples can move to Earth.  He comes up with a brilliant one...resurrect old dead monsters and have them destroy the Earthlings and then move his world to Earth.  Oh yes, in addition to the monsters, he will turn every Euro-babe into his slave so they can help out.  Also sent are two more aliens who have taken the bodies of two brilliant Earth scientists, Dr. Kerian (Angel del Pozo) and Maleva (Karin Dor).  First order of business...find a nubile Euro-babe...circus performer Ilona (Gela Geisler) is a good choice.

The monsters are resurrected and Maleva's Earthling hormones also are. Now she is hot for Kerian and Dracula (Manuel de Blas) is hot for her.  The werewolf is hot for Ilona and she him.  The Mummy is hot for Euro-babe Ilsa (Patty Shepard) and she him.  Now Warnoff is watching his plans go to pot as everyone wants pre-marital sex.  Detective Toberman (Craig Hill) is also onto Warnoff's plans of conquest.  Toberman is a hunk and stops off at a lot of bars for cocktails and then also endeavors to engage in pre-marital sex with Ilsa.  Who is Ilsa?  Major league Euro-babe, that is all you have to know.  Warnoff enacts his plan but pheromones get in the way and now monsters, mad scientists and Euro-babes alike all want steamy pre-marital sex, 

Will our good detective get to have Ilsa before one of the monsters soils her?  Is Warnoff insane to want to conquer Earth?  Of the four monsters resurrected by alien intelligence, which one has the best chance with a Euro-babe?  Wild, slightly erotic, and some great cheesecake dot this ambitious Spanish horror film.  For a great take on the classic monsters, see "Assignment Terror."

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