Saturday, October 28, 2023

Snake Hotel, Monster Snakes Eat Babes

Again we have a good one from our buddies at Jagged Edge Productions.  This one is filled with babe convicts trying to survive an onslaught of 50 foot vipers.  Perhaps this is justified as Eve is the one who ate the apple.  I know, you divorced guys are coming up with different justifications for big reptiles eating the fairer sex. Oh yes...also in this is the sultry Chrissie Wunna as a femme-fatale snake woman.  Let us take a look at 2023's "Snake Hotel," directed by Charles Solly.

Mia (Kelly Rian Sanson) and her sister Linda (Natasha Tosini) are two blonde babes doing life for murdering their abusive stepdad.  Bummer.  Faye (Danielle Scott) is a sultry blonde who deserves her life sentence.  This babe is a complete psycho bent on murdering Mia.  Miss Fang (Wunna) buys these three and three others from the prison and brings them to her mansion, 100 miles from any town. Miss Fang has a government contract to engineer perfect killing machines, probably for war.  Hence her 50-foot snakes are programmed with chips in their heads to eat "whores" (or convict girls). The gals are told if they survive the night they will win their freedom...alas, our sultry Miss Fang doesn't really mean that.

The snakes love eating babes. Perhaps this is a metaphor for something biblical, or political.  You divorced guys can help me out with that.  The babes are now on the run inside the hotel (mansion) and outside on the grounds.  Linda and Mia are trying to keep one another alive.  Uh oh...Faye is all psycho and she has a blade.  Faye is not interested in the snakes but desires to slit Mia's throat. Now the gals may have to fear psycho-Faye more than the slithery beasts. A lot of blood will ensue as the babes prove to be incapable of avoiding the snakes.  Still, Linda who watched out for Mia in the joint is also determined to keep her sister alive in the 'snake hotel.'

Will Faye and her razor be able to drain Mia of blood before the serpents get either one of them?  What is Miss Fang's story, and does she plan to save any of these gals for her own purposes?  Did Miss Fang get the government contract in the government's "women owned businesses" initiative in their procurement guidelines.  As British PMs have trouble keeping their jobs and staying free of scandal, Miss Fang may just be able to get rid of Rishi Sunak. For some giant snake horror and a lot of cheese, see "Snake Hotel." 

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