Wednesday, March 8, 2023

Camp 139, Hunks and Babes Gutted

 As 2023 is underway, it is now apparent the conspiracy theorists of the past...were right!  Now the government throws out the term "conspiracy theorist" to discredit what they can't defend.  Little does our government know...most of us now believe the conspiracy theorists.  These peeps were right about COVID (and the "medicine" used to treat it), the military industrial complex, Kennedy's assassination, the Biden family, the Clintons, and the corrupt country of Ukraine!  Okay, they're still wrong about the moon landing, I admit.  When a bunch of great looking college kids wander into the wilderness for drugs, alcohol, and pre-marital sex...a shut down U.S. Army laboratory becomes their undoing and gives us 2013's "Camp 139," directed by Matthew J. Adams and Benjamin James.

The first half of this film is carried by sultry babes Haley (Victoria Paege) and Stacy (Sarah Ludington) and their hunks, Brandon (J. Lyle) and Mike (Frank Prell).  The quartet go into the wilderness for a bacchanal good time featuring marijuana, pre-marital sex, and alcoholic beverages.  The gals are scantily clad and the two guys are very hormone driven.  The pheromones will be exploding into the atmosphere. There will be some gratuitous bikini action and passionate pre-marital sex in a tent.  Then the gals go off to swim in the river and it all begins.  Oh yeah...the land they're camping on is the site of a closed down military laboratory where ex-Nazi scientists were helping U.S. Army scientists create a super-soldier.  That always goes well, as we have repeatedly found out.

Now Haley is abducted.  Poor Haley...her fate is quite gory, I'm afraid.  Now her three friends will attempt to find her.  They'll follow her blood to the abandoned facility, which of course is not totally abandoned.  What else is going on?  Yes...there is other'll see.  Twists will manifest and experience horror film fans will see them coming a mile away.  Still, the great looking cast will make you want to watch further.  Gore and depravity will replace nudity and pre-marital sex as plot devices...this is, of course, is all good.  

What exactly is going on at this old army laboratory?  Are our four protagonists destined to become "super soldiers"?  Would our hunks and babes have fared better if they refrained from pre-marital sex? The beef and cheese factor are off the charts and eventually the gore level will be, too.  For a neat camping in the woods horror film...see "Camp 139."

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